Arie Luyendyk Jr - Lauren Burnham - Bachelor 22 - Discussion #3

I did read it and my take is that both posts were written by the same person, not one by the neighbor and the other by his gf. I am still laughing because the content is so silly and childish. @Mommyof2 like you, I just don't have time for all the negativity.

Locker room talk?  Would it be ok for these guys to use the N word, if its just locker room talk? The C word when talking about a woman?  I personally don't think so.  Some words and phrases are so offensive, there is no excuse.  If these phrases are now acceptable because they are being labeled as "Locker room talk," then "locker room talk" 100% needs to change.

I'm kinda mad at society right now.  In general.  If you can't tell.

JMO

I have a HUGE issue claiming the use of bigoted slurs as 'locker room talk'. There's no excuse to use these slurs, they're very offensive, and anyone using these terms is a bigot IMHO.

rosefever wrote:

sosleepy wrote:
So you must be really upset about Arie using he phrase f*g so flippantly then? 

A straight guy calling another straight guy a f*g is just locker room talk. I'm also a strong believer in the right of any human to hold and express deep-felt believes without consequence, but bullying has of course increasingly become a way to circumvent the 1st amendment and go after people with different believes. So I don't care the least bit about being flippant, while I do care about people who yell f*g at actual homosexuals. It's similar to me not minding violent video games, while I do mind actual violence against others.

Verbal violence is of course difficult. As people have pointed out, it's one thing to call Arie a jerk on this forum, it's an altogether different thing to follow him on Instagram and leave rude messages. All IMO.

Let me get this straight. 
Ross calling Arie a nerd (even though he didn't): A crime against humanity, on par with racism and homophobia.
Arie calling Ross a nerd (what actually happened, even though who cares, it's literally not a slur in any way, shape, or form): Out of context!
Arie calling another guy a f*g: Locker room talk! Just boys being boys! Since he said it to a fellow straight guy that removes all connotation of the word!

 Cool. Got it.

I think this thread is going to be locked soon. Jmo.

We may not like some opinions posted, however we will always respect each other's opinions as member's of this forum. Those are the rules, and they will not be changed.

Post's that were snarking or subtle insults of opinions have been deleted, because it's simply isn't respectful and not enjoyable to read at all.

Love this couple or not, post your opinions without rude or critical remarks directed at the poster. There are many other avenues available to conduct that sort of behaviour, but it won't be ever accepted here.

BKay wrote:I did read it and my take is that both posts were written by the same person, not one by the neighbor and the other by his gf. I am still laughing because the content is so silly and childish. @Mommyof2 like you, I just don't have time for all the negativity.

Not sure what it matters, but IMO there are definitely two people. It's obvious from the texts and Arie's tweet that the neighbour is a man, and when the gf first posted about this stuff last month, she posted a pic of her hand holding that day's newspaper in front of Arie's garage. It was clearly a woman's hand.

Definition of nerd. : an unstylish, unattractive, or socially inept person; especially : one slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits.

Source

That just doesn’t fit Arie, imo, even wearing cardigans.

I’m wondering what happened to the guy I liked in Emily’s season. My guess now is that he never was that guy. Disappointing.

rosefever wrote:

Mikesgirl83 wrote:

rosefever wrote:
You're right. Though IMO the fragment is clearly cut, so it's possible Arie said that Ross called him a f*cking nerd on the way out, but TPTB edited it in like that to add a bunch of f bombs (3 total) to make it seem like Arie was upset and create some additional suspense.

I really don't think that's the case

Nevermind, you linked a sneak-peak, so we'd have to watch the actual episode. Sneak peaks often contain fragments that are intentionally out of context to create suspense. JMO.

Ok so I pulled the episode up on Hulu and about the 56/57 minute mark it's exactly the same, Ross leaves and Arie calls him a "bleep nerd" I'm not good at video editing so I took a screen shot. It's seems pretty cut and dry to me that's what happened, (JMO) you see and hear Arie saying that.

my screen shot
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https://registry.theknot.com/lauren-burnham-arie-luyendyk-june-2720/16186937

It looks like Arie and Lauren's wedding date changed from June 28th, 2018 to 2720. Weird? It probably meant to read 2020, but still odd. I am thinking that either it got hacked or a fan created this page because I honestly don't think they would have done this themselves. They even said they would get married by the end of the year. Hope this finds everyone well and hope you all had a good Easter!

rosefever wrote:

sosleepy wrote:
I have never considered Arie a nerd.  He’s popular, charismatic, in a cool racing profession, into cars, friendly, articulate, good with women, clearly can have sex any time he wants. He’s also not particularly intelligent (his words, barely completing high school and having no higher education). Arie is a lot of things. He’s definitely NOT a nerd. JMO

The defining characteristic IMO is being tone-deaf when it comes to popular opinion. Personally I don't think he really cares what the majority thinks, which angers people even more. He marches to the beat of his own drum. There's not really a clear term for people like Arie, like Asperger's it's a distinct personality type that has some kind of genetic basis.

Sean Lowe who knows Arie quite well stated the following.

Arie has got a great personality. He’s kind of quirky. He knows he’s nerdy, which I think is endearing. He definitely doesn’t play the cool guy part. He knows who he is and doesn’t put on any fronts. He’s just a nerdy race car driver.

Source: https://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/sean-lowe-why-arie-luyendyk-jr-will-be-the-perfect-bachelor-w507327

Anyways, obviously Arie is different, and most people don't like those who are different, so he'll just have to be confident in who he is and ignore the hate. Like people who are disliked for the color of their skin or their sexual preference, Arie will just have to shake it off and stand above it. All IMO.

Whether Arie has an undiagnosed  behavior pattern is beyond my expertise.  However, Arie's "different" behavior is that of a self absorbed, selfish bigot. IMO

Hawaii Girl wrote:
Let me get this straight. 
Ross calling Arie a nerd (even though he didn't): A crime against humanity, on par with racism and homophobia.
Arie calling Ross a nerd (what actually happened, even though who cares, it's literally not a slur in any way, shape, or form): Out of context!
Arie calling another guy a f*g: Locker room talk! Just boys being boys! Since he said it to a fellow straight guy that removes all connotation of the word!

 Cool. Got it.

I don't think the bullying of nerds should be marginalized. IMO it's just as bad as bullying on the basis of race or sexual preference, I honestly don't see the difference.

Example: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2846279/Teen-bullied-death-commits-suicide-years-verbal-physical-abuse-classmates.html

If Arie called Ross a f'n nerd this should definitely go on his naughty list. If it's the other way around it goes on Ross' naughty list. Regardless, I'm not making a big deal out of anything that is said in the heat of the moment, I was just quoting sources labeling Arie a nerd.

Arie's neighbor's behavior is more problematic as it seems like he might be some kind of obsessed stalker and he seems really out to psychologically harm Arie. All IMO.