Arie Luyendyk Jr - Lauren Burnham - Bachelor 22 - Discussion #3

rosefever wrote:

Ladybug82 wrote:IMO, the only thing his passing an STD test shows me is maybe he was actually smart enough to use protection.  It does not mean he doesn't or hasn't slept around a lot.  JMO

HSV-1 is primarily spread through kissing and is incurable, it's highly contagious as evidenced by about half the population having it, so if the show tests for it like some sources claim it implies that Arie hasn't slept around a lot. HSV-1 is now linked to Alzheimer, so it can no longer be considered 'annoying but harmless'. All IMO of course.

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes_simplex_virus

As for the whole miscarriage thing, people are entirely too sensitive these days, it seems like being offended is the new national hobby. JMO.

Not sure where this herpes topic came from but Ashley Spivey confirmed on reddit that oral herpes doesn't stop you from getting cast. Apparently they just give you Valtrex. She was speaking from personal experience so she should know.

I am confused. In reference to posts, who is you and who is calling anyone these names?
A discussion is ongoing for several pages now. I don't think anything is being dismissed as there is a discussion ensuing.

As for the whole miscarriage thing, people are entirely too sensitive these days, it seems like being offended is the new national hobby. JMO.[/quote]

I don't consider Arie's ex as being too sensitive about not wanting her personal life exposed to the public. It boils down to having R-E-S-P-E-C-T for your ex's privacy. Arie chose to go on a show watched by millions of people, SHE didn't.

I can understand Cassie being upset. Thirty-one years ago, i miscarried at twenty-two weeks and almost died from the hemorrhaging. The docs pumped ten pints of blood in me trying to keep me alive. At one point, I woke up from sedation with my arm in so much pain as the blood was being pumped in me cold.

I would've been livid if my ex went on national television and talked about my miscarriage. I was the one physically experiencing the miscarriage...I was the one having to delivery a baby I knew wouldn't survive...I was the one having Pitocin pumped in me to try and speed up my delivery because my placenta ruptured...I was the one panicking every time I pushed and could feel the blood pouring out of me and panic in my OB's eyes as she was trying to hide the massive clots...I was the one holding my little girl while she was dying as she wasn't developed enough to survive...I was the one scared that I wouldn't survive the D&C I had to have...I was the one who was in so much pain from ice cold blood being pumped in me that it woke me up, even being heavily sedated...I am the one who had to recover physically as well as psychologically, all the while still trying to be a mommy to my two year old...it's not his story to tell, it's MY story.

I don't blame Cassie for being upset and trying to set the record straight. Do we have proof the she got paid for the two magazines she talked to?

I never shy away from saying I had two miscarriages but I never give specifics. My experience typed above is the first time I've ever said anything outside my closest family. I don't like to talk or think about it as it makes me sad to wonder who my precious angel would've become as a woman and where in life she would be right now.

I don't think miscarriage is too sensitive of a subject or that it should and needs to be talked about. Depending on the person, and their experience, its less painful to talk about and wonder "could'ves."

richmondrose wrote:

rosefever wrote:

Ladybug82 wrote:IMO, the only thing his passing an STD test shows me is maybe he was actually smart enough to use protection.  It does not mean he doesn't or hasn't slept around a lot.  JMO

HSV-1 is primarily spread through kissing and is incurable, it's highly contagious as evidenced by about half the populatiomn having it, so if the show tests for it like some sources claim it implies that Arie hasn't slept around a lot. HSV-1 is now linked to Alzheimer, so it can no longer be considered 'annoying but harmless'. All IMO of course.

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes_simplex_virus

As for the whole miscarriage thing, people are entirely too sensitive these days, it seems like being offended is the new national hobby. JMO.

I'm not quite sure what you're getting at but to be clear, HSV1 is not considered to be a sexually transmitted disease (STD). On the other hand HSV2 is, and  can only be transmitted through vaginal, anal, and oral sex. HSV2 is connected to cervical cancer in women. The only means of protecting oneself from catching it is to abstain from having sex, use protection (condom), or get vaccinated. The vaccination can be used by both males and females. In my area, parents are encouraged to have their high school aged children vaccinated against it. However, once you've acquired the herpes virus you're SOL.

As far as testing for  STD on The Bachelor/ ette  contestants goes, I'm not sure if herpes is even considered because the likelihood that the majority having already contracted the virus (although dormant)  would probably eliminate a good portion of the applicants.

I worked in virology and with both HSVs. 

The vaccine is actually recommended to be given in the pre-teens/early teens, so middle school age. Men are actually suffer oral and mucosal cancers from HSV-2 and women can experience oral and reproductive cancer. In addition, women with HSV-2 should not give birth vaginally, the virus is highly contagious and usually deadly to infants as well as not always being diagnosed if the mother forgets to tell the doctor she has HSV-2. 

HSV-1 are the common cold sore and is not generally thought of as sexually transmitted. 

I don’t know if HSV-2 is considered an STD by the show, but it is by most medical practitioners and health insurance. HSV-1 is not classified as an STD. 

As a scientist, we do not reference Wikipedia as it can be changed by anyone. We may look at the references provided. But Wiki itself is not considered a credible scientific source. 

I don’t know or care if Arie has either HSV-1 or 2. JMO. To me that is his business and now Lauren’s too.

XQZME wrote:
As for the whole miscarriage thing, people are entirely too sensitive these days, it seems like being offended is the new national hobby. JMO.

I don't consider Arie's ex as being too sensitive about not wanting her personal life exposed to the public.  It boils down to having R-E-S-P-E-C-T for your ex's privacy.  Arie chose to go on a show watched by millions of people, SHE didn't.  

I can understand Cassie being upset.  Thirty-one years ago, i miscarried at twenty-two weeks and almost died from the hemorrhaging.  The docs pumped ten pints of blood in me trying to keep me alive. At one point, I woke up from sedation with my arm in so much pain as the blood was being pumped in me cold.  

I would've been livid if my ex went on national television and talked about my miscarriage.  I was the one physically experiencing the miscarriage...I was the one having to delivery a baby I knew wouldn't survive...I  was the one having Pitocin pumped in me to try and speed up my delivery because my placenta ruptured...I was the one panicking every time I pushed and could feel the blood pouring out of me and panic in my OB's eyes as she was trying to hide the massive clots...I was the one holding my little girl while she was dying as she wasn't developed enough to survive...I was the one scared that I wouldn't survive the D&C I had to have...I was the one who was in so much pain from ice cold blood being pumped in me that it woke me up, even being heavily sedated...I am the one who had to recover physically as well as psychologically, all the while still trying to be a mommy to my two year old...it's not his story to tell, it's MY story.

I don't blame Cassie for being upset and trying to set the record straight.  Do we have proof the she got paid for the two magazines she talked to?

I never shy away from saying I had two miscarriages but I never give specifics.  My experience typed above is the first time I've ever said anything outside my closest family.  I don't like to talk or think about it as it makes me sad to wonder who my precious angel would've become as a woman and where in life she would be right now.  

I don't think miscarriage is too sensitive of a subject or that it should and needs to be talked about.  Depending on the person, and their experience, its less painful to talk about and wonder "could'ves."[/quote]


I'm so sorry for what you went through and totally agree with your post... Anyone that's never had a miscarriage shouldn't say it's not that big of a deal because it truly is!!!! IMHO

@LoveDovez ...thank you.

Sprite wrote:

Aunties_Love wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:@Kashathediva You are right. She spoke out in anger after she felt violated by Arie. She didn’t have to. But, IMO, had Arie respected her right to not have everyone know she had a miscarriage then she would not have spoken up. JMO. I know I never told my dad about my miscarriage. It would have just upset him. I doubt my ex told his parents either. So I personally don’t find that unusual.

How do we KNOW she spoke out in anger though.....I too have had miscarriages.  My husband was the father and if he so choose to talk to someone about it to help him, to help the other person, or just because he felt it was the right thing to do, then why is that wrong?  Just because I didn't specifically tell him yes or no on it, it is his child too.  Just like this was Arie's child. IMO, Arie has just as much right talking or not talking about that baby as the mom.....ALL imo

Firstly, I am sorry for your loss and for anyone else who has gone through the same pain. However, your husband was not on national tv and was not specifically asked not to share his experience. Arie it seems was and despite that shared it twice. (It is irrelevant to me that it didn't make it to air the first time.)

I am not going into who is right or wrong in the matter. Personally, I wish everyone kept their private matters just that...private. In this instance Arie didn't. He started by sharing on national tv and it seems many...obviously not all...are giving him a free pass. I don't know why then, when the ex decides to share her version...which seems to significantly differ from his...in the only way she can, she is then called an attention seeker. It seems to me, that like the other women who dared criticize Arie by going to the press, she is also faulted. They can't say anything to shed light on his repeated patterns of behaviour, but he is good to go no matter what. JMO 

I never saw weree Arie was specifically asked to not reveal the baby, but did see where the ex didn't think he would do it.

Aria wrote:Again, it was not Cassie that identified herself. RS had already done that. There were already forums "sleuthing" for information about her, before she ever spoke out.

It feels like this is deja vu all over again. There is a attempt to distract from what Arie did by not-so-subtly blaming the woman.  Even if you think that her speaking out after her story and name were already out there makes her the most greedy, biggest fame-wh*re out there, what does that have to do with what Arie did? And, at some point, if you think that every single woman Arie has ever been involved with is a stupid, lying, jealous, immature fame-wh*re...what does that say about Arie? IMO.

How did he blame the women. I haven't seen that written or done so am confused as to why it is now said. I am baffled.

XQZME wrote:@LoveDovez ...thank you.

You're welcome. My daughter had a miscarriage 22 years ago and still finds it hard to talk about. For anyone to use this as a way of "opening up" is truly appalling to me. If that was all he had to try to make himself look important, well that's just pathetic to me...Of course, I've never been one to keep my opinions of him to myself............................................

^^^^^Edited^^^^^

To me it doesn’t matter if *you* aren’t personally offended by Arie and Lauren’s classless joke. I had a pregnancy loss and struggled with infertility, yet don’t feel that personally bothered. It doesn’t matter what I personally think though. The point is, some people are offended and hurt. It’s 2018. It’s common knowledge you shouldn’t be so flip about these topics. I’ve personally read a million blogs and memes telling people to avoid this “joke” and explaining why it’s crass and heartless.  

What an insensitive, tone deaf couple of morons. Hope they learned a lesson here.


JMO

sosleepy wrote:To me it doesn’t matter if *you* aren’t personally offended by Arie and Lauren’s classless joke. I had a pregnancy loss and struggled with infertility, yet don’t feel that personally bothered. It doesn’t matter what I personally think though. The point is, some people are offended and hurt. It’s 2018. It’s common knowledge you shouldn’t be so flip about these topics. I’ve personally read a million blogs and memes telling people to avoid this “joke” and explaining why it’s crass and heartless.  

What an insensitive, tone deaf couple of morons. Hope they learned a lesson here.


JMO

I have no idea what Arie/Lauren were thinking but I personally did not know that it was considered offensive or in bad taste to joke about being pregnant. I asked my husband about it -- and he didn't know that either. A friend of mine did a similar pregnancy prank on FB and while many of us were pissed because we were hoping that she was indeed pregnant, no one called her out for it being offensive or tone deaf. So I'm not so sure how widely held or common knowledge this is. IMO it's possible that Arie/Lauren like myself, my husband, and my joking friend had no idea that this is such a big deal.

I must have seen pictures, posts, blogs about this no less than 10 times in my FB news feed in the week leading up to April Fools saying please don't use this as a joke. When a large group/community of people come together and say "please don't do/say XYZ it's hurtful to us" we don't get to decide their feelings for them, we don't get to decide it's not a big deal. We need to listen.

It's one thingif Arie and Lauren just didn't know about it but they know now and coming back and saying "sorry if you were offended" and then continuing the joke is just crass. "Sorry if you were offended" is not an apology. I would have loved to see some humility on their part and a sincere apology. Unfortunately these two have shown over and over again that they lack any kind of empathy for people's feelings or social awareness, this is why I'll never be a fan.

All JMO