Arie Luyendyk Jr - Lauren Burnham - Bachelor 22 - Discussion #3

beader wrote:I seriously doubt they were targeting women with fertility challenges with this April Fools picture.  I seriously doubt that hurting any woman/couple ever entered their minds.  (Yes, I know, some will say, "That's because they think only of themselves."  To me, that's just more of the "damned if they do, damned if they don't" thinking that seems to be directed at them by many anonymous posts.

I just hope Lauren and Arie haven't read the pages and pages of posts on several forums and SM in which they have been called just about every negative adjective in the dictionary.  Most comments seem to use hyphens and commas between these adjectives so as to include as many as possible in one sentence.  No doubt was left as to whom these negative comments were about.   I'm happy they seem to be taking the high road and just going on about their life.  I hope others will be able to do the same soon.

Couldn't agree more with the bolded. The two of them seem to be enjoying life, seem to be in love and happy. What more can you ask from any final situation in this franchise albeit they went about it differently, at least Arie did recognize that he wasn't happy, things weren't going to work out and he's with the one that he obviously loves. Becca's gone on with her life and same for these two. Isn't that the best scenario out of this show???????

I have often wondered what any cast person or famous person for that matter would think of any type forum, message board etc where they are the subject matter non-stop.  I don't think I could read about it if it were me, good or bad. Both would be equally scary. JMO

Aunties_Love wrote:

Aria wrote:I honestly thought the backlash was over the top when Sean/Cat did it, but it just blows my mind that Arie, who is Sean's good friend, is doing the SAME EXACT THING. Like, dude, maybe use that friendship with Bachelor royalty to your benefit and call the guy up and just have a quick 20-minute convo about things you should avoid doing if you want to one day stop being the most hated Bachelor in history? It's like how he didn't call anyone to ask for advice about how to tell the Becca situation, even though Jason had been through the SAME EXACT THING. He just is so damn arrogant and thinks he knows best, IMO.

Personally, I don't give a sh*t about this joke. The fact that Arie's ex had a miscarriage and he blabbed about on television twice to 7 million strangers, after she had specifically asked to keep it private, is what I found cruel, insensitive, and selfish. IMO.

BUT IMO, it was also HIS kid that was miscarried. It would be a COMPLETELY different affair if he was joking around about that with someone else's kid in mind.  As far as him "blabbing" about it on National Tele, again, it was HIS kid to blab about....that makes a HUGE difference, IMO compared to him talking about his best friend who just had a miscarriage.  I applaud his openness to talk about it.  Miscarriages should be talked about more instead of kept hidden!!  All IMO

Yes, technically, he is allowed to. It's just human decency to honor the wishes of the mother of the unborn child, especially since it was someone he had loved and lived with. It  wasn't such a pressing issue that he needed to tell Lauren on their first date on camera. It was something that could have been easily shared during the fantasy suite off-camera in two weeks. By his own admission, he simply shared it to try to get Lauren to open up. He couldn't think of ANYTHING else to share about himself that could get her to open up? He's lived such a privileged life that this is the only difficult thing he could think of? And it was so important to get her to open up he needed to violate the privacy of the mother? I just think it comes down to basic human decency. And Arie shows over and over and over again that he doesn't give a poop about anything but himself and the woman he's currently banging or trying to bang. As soon as someone else catches his eyes, well, that previous girl's feelings are just an inconvenience. ALL, IMO.

@Aria Agreed. While it was his child, it was hers too.  Does her opinion not matter at all?  Only Arie's feelings matter ever? Sorry, it was not cool of Arie to discuss it when he was asked not to, IMO. I don't take it was his child too excuse, IMO, that doesn't work for me, because it was also Cassie's child.  IMO, it should have been Cassies's choice as well if the miscarriage was talked about. And IMO, it wasn't discussed as a pro to helping couples who suffer miscarriages, it was to get a girl to like him better. Big huge difference. JMO But it was a chitty  thing to do.

Aria wrote:

Aunties_Love wrote:

Aria wrote:I honestly thought the backlash was over the top when Sean/Cat did it, but it just blows my mind that Arie, who is Sean's good friend, is doing the SAME EXACT THING. Like, dude, maybe use that friendship with Bachelor royalty to your benefit and call the guy up and just have a quick 20-minute convo about things you should avoid doing if you want to one day stop being the most hated Bachelor in history? It's like how he didn't call anyone to ask for advice about how to tell the Becca situation, even though Jason had been through the SAME EXACT THING. He just is so damn arrogant and thinks he knows best, IMO.

Personally, I don't give a sh*t about this joke. The fact that Arie's ex had a miscarriage and he blabbed about on television twice to 7 million strangers, after she had specifically asked to keep it private, is what I found cruel, insensitive, and selfish. IMO.

BUT IMO, it was also HIS kid that was miscarried. It would be a COMPLETELY different affair if he was joking around about that with someone else's kid in mind.  As far as him "blabbing" about it on National Tele, again, it was HIS kid to blab about....that makes a HUGE difference, IMO compared to him talking about his best friend who just had a miscarriage.  I applaud his openness to talk about it.  Miscarriages should be talked about more instead of kept hidden!!  All IMO

Yes, technically, he is allowed to. It's just human decency to honor the wishes of the mother of the unborn child, especially since it was someone he had loved and lived with. It  wasn't such a pressing issue that he needed to tell Lauren on their first date on camera. It was something that could have been easily shared during the fantasy suite off-camera in two weeks. By his own admission, he simply shared it to try to get Lauren to open up. He couldn't think of ANYTHING else to share about himself that could get her to open up? He's lived such a privileged life that this is the only difficult thing he could think of? And it was so important to get her to open up he needed to violate the privacy of the mother? I just think it comes down to basic human decency. And Arie shows over and over and over again that he doesn't give a poop about anything but himself and the woman he's currently banging or trying to bang. As soon as someone else catches his eyes, well, that previous girl's feelings are just an inconvenience. ALL, IMO.

As far as the bolded goes, I had no idea WE here KNEW the wishes of the mother of the unborn child. Isn't it ENTIRELY possible that it is something that's already been resolved between the two and WE aren't privy to it?????? IF I missed it somewhere that we know that, PLEASE point it out to me. I know I can't say that he violated the privacy of the mother of the unborn baby because I was never privy to conversations between them but that's just me......

From a personal note......I have had several miscarriages(3) and through my life I was always asked "do you have kids?" and when I say no, then the next question is "don't you want any?" followed by a quick "Why not?" at least till I started looking too dang old for that question to be broached then when I answered because I had miscarriages and since then can't have kids people respond with the quick and simple "Oh" and quickly walk away from me like I had scurvy or something......what I am getting about is even in this day and age, miscarriages aren't talked about, it's like it's a nasty secret or something. Personally I want an open discussion on it. I want the society this day and age not to be afraid to talk about it so I do commend Arie for getting personal with it all and talking about it. I sure as heck don't see him being insensitive about it, being rude/mean to the mother one iota.

I just think that in a way this couple(Arie and Lauren) are dammed if they do and dammed if they don't do/say anything at all at any time anywhere.....a real shame for that amount of negativity to follow you around when you are a couple in love just trying to make it. It's hard enough for any couple to make it out of this franchise without all that non help. ALL IMO

You know I'm not a fan of this couple but I doubt they had any intentions of hurting anyone who can't have a child. It was a dumb thing to do in their situation though, imo.

They do look happy. That doesn't change my opinion of Arie but I do hope he'll do right by Lauren.

Aunties_Love wrote:Becca's gone on with her life and same for these two.  Isn't that the best scenario out of this show???????

I totally agree. I could see Lauren and Arie telling each other dead baby jokes on their road trip. Would he have the same dynamic with Becca?

I think the wrestling match may have been an indication that Arie likes black humor and this may have been when Lauren really caught his eye while babieana lost his interest.

What I felt sad about that part of the conversation. Is that Arie probably didn't get any closure from her and the loss of their child. If she just left. That isn't right either both people grieve over the loss of a child. Back on topic of the show. When rewatching the last ATFR CH talks about might be a proposal but will she accept. Then talking to Arie and Lauren said "I didn't see that coming". Sure the show knew. He got the ring from Neil Lane. I just think it was all planned to where Becca was set up for next ette. JMO

To me it doesn't matter how they get there. If they find love from the show and it lasts. I say more power to them.

Kashathediva wrote:I have often wondered what any cast person or famous person for that matter would think of any type forum, message board etc where they are the subject matter non-stop.  I don't think I could read about it if it were me, good or bad. Both would be equally scary. JMO

Kashathediva Do you remember Andy Baldwin's season. Bevin got threats after the show. They even had to have the cops involved. I remember after that they stopped going to the contestants homes. I was really surprised that they show Lauren's families home, Arie's and his parents in this season. Their celebrity isn't as high as the main celebrities. I can't imagine their daily lives. That would be hard to go through.

Iluvbachette wrote:What I felt sad about that part of the conversation. Is that Arie probably didn't get any closure from her and the loss of their child. If she just left. That isn't right either both people grieve over the loss of a child. Back on topic of the show. When rewatching the last ATFR CH talks about might be a proposal but will she accept. Then talking to Arie and Lauren said "I didn't see that coming". Sure the show knew. He got the ring from Neil Lane. I just think it was all planned to where Becca was set up for next ette. JMO

I agree, Arie just as much needed closure and a grieving point and if the girl left before any of that can happen, then that is really hard to face on your own. It's hard enough when you have the love from your partner.


Of course things were planned! IMO, the producers had a bunch of things set up on their storyboard....namely how this season was going to go down, and IMO, it went down absolutely to the T of what the producers planned. Just a feeling I have and likely we won't know more than that till further down the road.

ALL IMO

@Aunties_Love well, I do know since she told us. Twice. She also said he lied about the details of hearing about the miscarriage and when the breakup happened because of course he did.

http://www.lifeandstylemag.com/posts/arie-luyendyk-jr-miscarriage-153224

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2012/07/emily-maynard-arie-bachelorette-dont-pick-him-ex/