Bachelor 22 - Arie Luyendyk Jr - Episodes - Mar 5th FRC ATFR - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

I've spent the last hour or so reading opinions. Too much to quote but I wanted to add my two cents in...just because this season was such a let down for me. I was so hoping Arie's journey wouldn't land on shaky ground but boy has it ever.

First of all, I think Arie really hoped to find the one. He wants to be happy and in love. I have no doubt about that. The rub... from where I sit, he has talked himself into every decision he's made with his head leading the way. He wanted this journey to work... badly, but he never committed with just his heart. I do feel bad for him but I have realized he has a comfort zone and he doesn't have the balls to create a relationship that fills the needs of two people. He can't envision that working out.

As much as I like Becca, I don't think they would have lasted. Arie isn't enough for Becca. The racing would have gotten old and she's not cut out to be a fan girl. She needs a partner with a bit more depth than Arie. They share the same wit but I can't imagine they would have meshed forever and ever. I just don't see it.

As for Lauren, when Arie spoke of remembering every dress, even earrings the girls wore...Lauren comes to mind. I have to give Lauren one thing, the girl knows how to put an outfit together. He is very image conscious. She comes across as needing a man to assure she's the "It" in his life. If there is one thing Arie Luyendyk knows how to do....it's play that role. Problem is he can't seem to play it long term. He seems to grow weary eventually. I can't buy that she's the steak at home because when his relationships are going well, they are all steaks at home. Arie doesn't do porkchops in his mind! I bet if I ask all the Lauren's before her, they would tell you the same. I have no idea how they are going to communicate and resolve conflict once tabloids and SM really begin to focus on Arie's character and her lack of personality.

Because of past relationships..when Arie began this journey, he wanted someone independent. Why? Adapting to his lifestyle is tough and he hadn't found anyone to date who can handle what he requires and challenge him to be a better partner.  The cameras will turn off and it will be just the two of them. I can hear the deafening silence from here, I'm afraid.

I can see why he held on to Emily's memory for so long. I never saw him rely on anything but his heart as he courted her. She is the perfect blend of what he needs. She checked all his boxes. Sigh. He had such remarkable women. Just a waste.    JMO

PS... Becca K doesn't have an ounce of Meandi in her... not even a little!!! If she whines and doesn't let Arie get a word in during ATFR, please let me know.  I do hope to hear her say "Es okay" if she's announced as the next 'Ette, though!

northernviewer wrote:“Guys like Arie” are what all the girls want ....the ungettable ... cuz they have what it takes to settle them down   Athletes and celebs get panties thrown at them all the time .... I’m sure it’s quite flattering.   One day he’ll find the girl that makes him throw the panties back  is it Lauren? Time is the only way to tell....

This only applies to a fraction of female population. Most mature women want a man that will commit, and who respects women and appreciates relationships. Arie is the type a guy you date once and learn from him what NOT to look for in a man, and the move on to find a real man that can handle a grown relationship. IMO

missnana wrote:

northernviewer wrote:“Guys like Arie” are what all the girls want ....the ungettable ... cuz they have what it takes to settle them down   Athletes and celebs get panties thrown at them all the time .... I’m sure it’s quite flattering.   One day he’ll find the girl that makes him throw the panties back  is it Lauren? Time is the only way to tell....

This only applies to a fraction of female population. Most mature women want a man that will commit, and who respects women and appreciates relationships. Arie is the type a guy you date once and learn from him what NOT to look for in a man, and the move on to find a real man that can handle a grown relationship. IMO

It applies to a large fraction

Of course we alll want the stable guy .... until a George Clooney walks into a room!! .... I’ve been on this earth to long enough to know that many, many women want to tame a “popular” man ... or at least be given the opportunity to try ....

mprssdbyu wrote:

As much as I like Becca, I don't think they would have lasted. Arie isn't enough for Becca. The racing would have gotten old and she's not cut out to be a fan girl. She needs a partner with a bit more depth than Arie. They share the same wit but I can't imagine they would have meshed forever and ever. I just don't see it.

As for Lauren, ... She comes across as needing a man to assure she's the "It" in his life. If there is one thing Arie Luyendyk knows how to do....it's play that role. ... I have no idea how they are going to communicate and resolve conflict once tabloids and SM really begin to focus on Arie's character and her lack of personality.

Because of past relationships..when Arie began this journey, he wanted someone independent. Why? Adapting to his lifestyle is tough and he hadn't found anyone to date who can handle what he requires and challenge him to be a better partner.  The cameras will turn off and it will be just the two of them. I can hear the deafening silence from here, I'm afraid.

I can see why he held on to Emily's memory for so long. I never saw him rely on anything but his heart as he courted her. She is the perfect blend of what he needs. She checked all his boxes. Sigh. He had such remarkable women. Just a waste.    JMO

So many aspects I agree with - Becca is livelier than Arie, whether it's all based on intellect, I don't know. The part about Lauren needing reassurance is spot on - I saw the same thing in her mother and remembered that Lauren said her parents had marital difficulties when she was younger. Perhaps it was because her dad was off flying fighter jets while her mom was home with "Top Gun" scenarios running through her head. When I saw Lauren's mom, I finally understood Lauren just a bit better. And if we think we've heard crickets during their dates, I can only imagine the cacophony in real life.

Yep, Emily looks like a golden goddess as we see more of Arie. And the women on this season were so much better than Nick's season - you almost go - "What if"?

stuckinsc wrote:

Mommyof2 wrote:

Lucas15 wrote:

LOL - to be honest I wasn't making that connection when I wrote the post but yes - that is exactly what he did.

As to the future? Of course I don't think anyone can predict that (but if some one can, PM me the Powerball numbers for next week). That said, if Arie is looking for that karmic connection and his choice is also, and they see that in each other then no - he won't go looking for it again. Burgers are nice but not when a man has steak at home.

I keep reverting back to Arie being 36.  He's not going to want to keep playing the field forever, Imho.     Will he be a 50 year-old man out and about cruising for hot chicks?   That said, if Arie were only 26, then I would say that maybe he isn't ready to settle down, but at 36 if you want a family, the time is now.  

Honestly, I dated a man who was 48 years old and much like Arie. He was an attractive man still and even with the woman he called the love of his life, he still cheated.  I think some people just do not have the ability to settle down and be faithful.  Is this Arie? I don't know, but since he hasn't managed monogamy before, I don't know that age is the magical answer.  There is a difference between men who are serial daters and men who cheat. Maybe Arie met his one with Lauren or maybe Lauren was the easy out from his not magical choice of Becca. JMO.

I guarantee it will get old after a while. Arie is not going to be an 80 year-old "so-called" playboy.

Mommyof2 wrote:

I guarantee it will get old after a while.  Arie is not going to be an 80 year-old "so-called" playboy.  

Only Jack Nicholson can pull that off

Mommyof2 wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:

Mommyof2 wrote:

I keep reverting back to Arie being 36.  He's not going to want to keep playing the field forever, Imho.     Will he be a 50 year-old man out and about cruising for hot chicks?   That said, if Arie were only 26, then I would say that maybe he isn't ready to settle down, but at 36 if you want a family, the time is now.  

Honestly, I dated a man who was 48 years old and much like Arie. He was an attractive man still and even with the woman he called the love of his life, he still cheated.  I think some people just do not have the ability to settle down and be faithful.  Is this Arie? I don't know, but since he hasn't managed monogamy before, I don't know that age is the magical answer.  There is a difference between men who are serial daters and men who cheat. Maybe Arie met his one with Lauren or maybe Lauren was the easy out from his not magical choice of Becca. JMO.

I guarantee it will get old after a while.  Arie is not going to be an 80 year-old "so-called" playboy.  

It does get old at some point.

northernviewer wrote:

missnana wrote:

northernviewer wrote:“Guys like Arie” are what all the girls want ....the ungettable ... cuz they have what it takes to settle them down   Athletes and celebs get panties thrown at them all the time .... I’m sure it’s quite flattering.   One day he’ll find the girl that makes him throw the panties back  is it Lauren? Time is the only way to tell....

This only applies to a fraction of female population. Most mature women want a man that will commit, and who respects women and appreciates relationships. Arie is the type a guy you date once and learn from him what NOT to look for in a man, and the move on to find a real man that can handle a grown relationship. IMO

It applies to a large fraction

Of course we alll want the stable guy .... until a George Clooney walks into a room!! .... I’ve been on this earth to long enough to know that many, many women want to tame a “popular” man  ... or at least be given the opportunity to try ....    

I have to agree with you @northernviewer until the guy doesn't choose them, then they all have a story to tell. What the heck were they doing with him if he has such a rotten past?

I'm not understanding Arie is the type that gets bored with the women he dates as opposed to it just didn't work out. How do we know this he gets "bored" ?

I don't think Arie wants to be single forever...not at all.

I don't think Becca or Lauren was/is the right one for him. But for those that feel Lauren should have been his choice at FRC...what do you see in their relationship that gives you the warm and fuzzies? Why do you think he feels like she is the one. What sets her apart for Arie? I don't even see FUN when they are together. I can't wait to hear him tell me why and it include something other than a physical feature. I don't want to hear sweet, etc either! I want substance to believe a word of what his head has sold to his heart!

GuardianAngel wrote:

northernviewer wrote:

missnana wrote:
This only applies to a fraction of female population. Most mature women want a man that will commit, and who respects women and appreciates relationships. Arie is the type a guy you date once and learn from him what NOT to look for in a man, and the move on to find a real man that can handle a grown relationship. IMO

It applies to a large fraction

Of course we alll want the stable guy .... until a George Clooney walks into a room!! .... I’ve been on this earth to long enough to know that many, many women want to tame a “popular” man  ... or at least be given the opportunity to try ....    

I have to agree with you @northernviewer until the guy doesn't choose them, then they all have a story to tell. What the heck were they doing with him if he has such a rotten past?

I'm not understanding Arie is the type that gets bored with the women he dates as opposed to it just didn't work out. How do we know this he gets "bored" ?

Absolutely.... We don’t know why his relationships end ... all we know is that he hadn’t found the one, unless Lauren is indeed the girl.

IMO it all comes down to competitive females and popular guys. Were they themselves when getting to know Arie? ....or were they playing games to get his interest. We don’t know anything, except what a few scorned women have said, no matter much we speculate about what we think went down. All I know is that he’s a popular guy ... so he must have something women want

mprssdbyu wrote:I don't think Arie wants to be single forever...not at all.

I don't think Becca or Lauren was/is the right one for him. But for those that feel Lauren should have been his choice at FRC...what do you see in their relationship that gives you the warm and fuzzies? Why do you think he feels like she is the one. What sets her apart for Arie? I don't even see FUN when they are together. I can't wait to hear him tell me why and it include something other than a physical feature. I don't want to hear sweet, etc either! I want substance to believe a word of what his head has sold to his heart!

My opinion... I watched unspoiled first few weeks ... didn’t see anything much between him and Becca ... still don’t ... I see him being most attracted to Lauren... period. Personally, if I could pick a girl for him... it’d be Becca, I like her, think she’s best on paper for him ... but if the chemistry isn’t there ... it isn’t there. It doesn’t mean Aries isn’t ready, it just means he’s a 37 year man who tried to do things the mature way, think with his head ... but that’s settling IMO and I’m glad he didn’t in the end. I’m sad for Becca, but know that eventually she’ll find the right guy.

mprssdbyu wrote:I don't think Arie wants to be single forever...not at all.

I don't think Becca or Lauren was/is the right one for him. But for those that feel Lauren should have been his choice at FRC...what do you see in their relationship that gives you the warm and fuzzies? Why do you think he feels like she is the one. What sets her apart for Arie? I don't even see FUN when they are together. I can't wait to hear him tell me why and it include something other than a physical feature. I don't want to hear sweet, etc either! I want substance to believe a word of what his head has sold to his heart!

Arie is just different with Lauren than the other girls. When he told her in Paris that he really wanted her to like him and he had a crush on her, it made me think of elementary school. He used Bibiana's setup to spend SQT with Lauren and I noticed that the "Kissing Bandit" basically asked permission before he kissed her. In Tuscany, he told her he was falling in love with her and in an ITM he said "I just want to grab that girl and tell her I love her." Then in Peru on their FSD, he did just that. Arie has been extremely patient with Lauren knowing she is "always in her head." Most leads would have sent a person like that home already. He has been chasing her most of the show. What do we say every season? Who is the lead chasing? He has been chasing Lauren. Becca is probably better on paper, but the heart wants what the heart wants and Arie wants Lauren. Jmhoaa.