Bachelor 22 - Arie Luyendyk Jr - Episodes - Mar 5th FRC ATFR - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

jeez does anyone get jojo and lauren b vibes from bens season was jojo the one that asked ben if he was in love with both of them? but lauren didn't ask anything? sorry just random thought that crossed my mind watching that clip .

Weird because I remember that season. I thought Ben had the most passion with Jojo . Didn’t he say ily to her first and only to Lauren after she said it ? I thought his heart was with Jojo and his head with Lauren. It all worked out as it should and I’m sure this will too. Except someone might need a mortuArie after this
JMSO

LeapofFaith wrote:jeez does anyone get jojo and lauren b vibes from bens season was jojo the one that asked ben if he was in love with both of them? but lauren didn't ask anything? sorry just random thought that crossed my mind watching that clip .

I was thinking earlier today about some similarities but what I remember from that season was that JoJo was more of a friend with Ben and Lauren was more the lover. IMO this season Becca is more the friend and Lauren the lover.

Lucas15 wrote:

LeapofFaith wrote:jeez does anyone get jojo and lauren b vibes from bens season was jojo the one that asked ben if he was in love with both of them? but lauren didn't ask anything? sorry just random thought that crossed my mind watching that clip .

I was thinking earlier today about some similarities but what I remember from that season was that JoJo was more of a friend with Ben and Lauren was more the lover. IMO this season Becca is more the friend and Lauren the lover.

My only dispute to that was Ben’s green swim shorts while they were kissing under a waterfall which seem to point right at Jojo , if you know what I mean . That’s not a friends pose to me.
I think Ben thought Jojo was passion material and not wife. Jmo

Honestly, I think if more Bachelors started picking the friend over the lover, we'd probably have a much higher success rate. Sean's always said that he picked his best friend and friendship is exactly what I see missing in so many Bachelor relationships. The lead gets so caught up in love that he forgets to figure out if he actually *likes* her! It's like Sharleen pointed out with Lauren/Ben, that you never see them just have fun or banter or be light-hearted with one another. It's always so serious. Such a 180 from most of our Bachelorette relationships and Sean/Cat. IMO.

Oh wow yeah that does seem to be the case. I remember this same conversation during Nick's season with Vanessa and Rachel and how Nick and Vanessa seemed so exhausting to watch and never had any fun together and with Nick and Rachel they seemed to have more of a friendship and enjoyed each other's company.

Aria wrote:Honestly, I think if more Bachelors started picking the friend over the lover, we'd probably have a much higher success rate. Sean's always said that he picked his best friend and friendship is exactly what I see missing in so many Bachelor relationships. The lead gets so caught up in love that he forgets to figure out if he actually *likes* her! It's like Sharleen pointed out with Lauren/Ben, that you never see them just have fun or banter or be light-hearted with one another. It's always so serious. Such a 180 from most of our Bachelorette relationships and Sean/Cat. IMO.

I posted my theory in the discussion thread the other day as to why I think there isn’t a high success rate with the Bach as it is with the ‘ette My opinion is that girls are more competitive with each other and want to “win” and will say and do what it takes. When the shows over.... the Bach is pretty much left scratching his head, as she’s really not the girl he thought she was. I’m not saying this is what happened this year, I’m saying in general, competitive, chameleon girls are the issue. Guys are more what you see is what you get.

I feel like I’m the only one, but both Lauren and Becca underwhelm me. They are both meh. It’s like arguing and getting worked up over vanilla vs. French vanilla. Same basic flavor. Both basically meh.

northernviewer wrote:

Aria wrote:Honestly, I think if more Bachelors started picking the friend over the lover, we'd probably have a much higher success rate. Sean's always said that he picked his best friend and friendship is exactly what I see missing in so many Bachelor relationships. The lead gets so caught up in love that he forgets to figure out if he actually *likes* her! It's like Sharleen pointed out with Lauren/Ben, that you never see them just have fun or banter or be light-hearted with one another. It's always so serious. Such a 180 from most of our Bachelorette relationships and Sean/Cat. IMO.

I posted my theory in the discussion thread the other day as to why I think there isn’t a high success rate with the Bach as it is with the ‘ette My opinion is that girls are more competitive with each other and want to “win” and will say and do what it takes.  When the shows over.... the  Bach is pretty much left scratching his head, as she’s really not the girl he thought she was.   I’m not saying this is what happened this year, I’m saying in general, competitive, chameleon girls are the issue.  Guys are more what you see is what you get.

Could it also be why it’s been the girls that have taken the guys back in a switch ? The competitive spirit doesn’t end with the F1 after all. If you go by that reasoning. .
Jmo

northernviewer wrote:

Aria wrote:Honestly, I think if more Bachelors started picking the friend over the lover, we'd probably have a much higher success rate. Sean's always said that he picked his best friend and friendship is exactly what I see missing in so many Bachelor relationships. The lead gets so caught up in love that he forgets to figure out if he actually *likes* her! It's like Sharleen pointed out with Lauren/Ben, that you never see them just have fun or banter or be light-hearted with one another. It's always so serious. Such a 180 from most of our Bachelorette relationships and Sean/Cat. IMO.

I posted my theory in the discussion thread the other day as to why I think there isn’t a high success rate with the Bach as it is with the ‘ette My opinion is that girls are more competitive with each other and want to “win” and will say and do what it takes.  When the shows over.... the  Bach is pretty much left scratching his head, as she’s really not the girl he thought she was.   I’m not saying this is what happened this year, I’m saying in general, competitive, chameleon girls are the issue.  Guys are more what you see is what you get.

I think the Ette has a greater success rate cause women are just smarter then men/more perceptive and generally more relationship entuned. I think women are better equipped in this scenario to do the picking. I think men, like biologically, and within the animal kingdom, are typically the chasers, the pursuers. Therefore, the format of Ette follows a more naturally biological flow for humans. Men almost always choose poorly. They pick with their little men parts. I mean, two successes, and one of those “successes,” the dude STILL chose wrong the first time. Only Sean went through the process like your average woman and picked someone with a better base then just who he wanted to sleep with.

sosleepy wrote:

northernviewer wrote:

Aria wrote:Honestly, I think if more Bachelors started picking the friend over the lover, we'd probably have a much higher success rate. Sean's always said that he picked his best friend and friendship is exactly what I see missing in so many Bachelor relationships. The lead gets so caught up in love that he forgets to figure out if he actually *likes* her! It's like Sharleen pointed out with Lauren/Ben, that you never see them just have fun or banter or be light-hearted with one another. It's always so serious. Such a 180 from most of our Bachelorette relationships and Sean/Cat. IMO.

I posted my theory in the discussion thread the other day as to why I think there isn’t a high success rate with the Bach as it is with the ‘ette My opinion is that girls are more competitive with each other and want to “win” and will say and do what it takes.  When the shows over.... the  Bach is pretty much left scratching his head, as she’s really not the girl he thought she was.   I’m not saying this is what happened this year, I’m saying in general, competitive, chameleon girls are the issue.  Guys are more what you see is what you get.

I think the Ette has a greater success rate cause women are just smarter then men/more perceptive and generally more relationship entuned. I think women are better equipped in this scenario to do the picking. I think men, like biologically, and within the animal kingdom, are typically the chasers, the pursuers. Therefore, the format of Ette follows a more naturally biological flow for humans. Men almost always choose poorly. They pick with their little men parts. I mean, two successes, and one of those “successes,” the dude STILL chose wrong the first time. Only Sean went through the process like your average woman and picked someone with a better base then just who he wanted to sleep with.

On point!

northernviewer wrote:I posted my theory in the discussion thread the other day as to why I think there isn’t a high success rate with the Bach as it is with the ‘ette My opinion is that girls are more competitive with each other and want to “win” and will say and do what it takes.  When the shows over.... the  Bach is pretty much left scratching his head, as she’s really not the girl he thought she was.   I’m not saying this is what happened this year, I’m saying in general, competitive, chameleon girls are the issue.  Guys are more what you see is what you get.

I think my wife would share that opinion and each time she states this I sort of feel surprised. Maybe it's a Mars / Venus bias that surprises me but she knows the Venus side much better than I do (although she is not one of "those women"). There's a sort of an "unspoken code of conduct" between many men that you stand down and let another man court a woman he's attracted to even if you're attracted to that woman. My wife always points out that some women will go after a man just to win even if he's not a prize they really want. I'm trying here not to paint all with a wide brush because not all men follow this code nor do all women compete to win but I do think there's some genetic code that we all share to some extent that is behind these behaviors.