Nick Viall & Vanessa Grimaldi - Bachelor 21 - Discussion

These discussions so interesting to me - it just illustrates how as humans we are all distinctly different and how one thing can be perceived completely differently - depending how one person sees something.

My DH has a lot of similar qualities with Nick in terms of his deadpan humor/expressions which can be seen as cocky or bored. I have a lot of similar qualities as Vanessa as I can be overly expressive (which can be seen as obnoxious) and loud. And my DH and I make jabs at each other all the time (people say we bicker like an old married couple) people just tick differently.  So I guess I related to the interview as that is literally how my DH and I act to one another ... we call each other out all the time - all in good fun of course. The growing part for us was knowing what is each other's boundaries - we call each other out in front of people but be have an unspoken agreement on what is off limits (this did take time to understand)

Obviously Nick/Vanessa had no problem with the video as they both liked and posted it.

So far there is nothing either have done that has been overly offensive to indicate to me trouble in paradise. I think her moving to LA - and even amidst the DWTS - have made a lot of time to spend jointly with family/friends says to me they are at the very least trying.

sbolduc wrote:These discussions so interesting to me - it just illustrates how as humans we are all distinctly different and how one thing can be perceived completely differently - depending how one person sees something.

My DH has a lot of similar qualities with Nick in terms of his deadpan humor/expressions which can be seen as cocky or bored. I have a lot of similar qualities as Vanessa as I can be overly expressive (which can be seen as obnoxious) and loud. And my DH and I make jabs at each other all the time (people say we bicker like an old married couple) people just tick differently.  So I guess I related to the interview as that is literally how my DH and I act to one another ... we call each other out all the time - all in good fun of course. The growing part for us was knowing what is each other's boundaries - we call each other out in front of people but be have an unspoken agreement on what is off limits (this did take time to understand)

Obviously Nick/Vanessa had no problem with the video as they both liked and posted it.

So far there is nothing either have done that has been overly offensive to indicate to me trouble in paradise. I think her moving to LA - and even amidst the DWTS - have made a lot of time to spend jointly with family/friends says to me they are at the very least trying.

I remember saying the same things you are saying - when Chris and Whitney were together. I think after many seasons and couples doing the 'few months together before breaking up for good' thing it's just common sense to be skeptical. IMO Nick has a lot to live up to in terms of how his history has gone. No couple anywhere at any time is safe - but these couples are on a show that ultimately comes with opportunities afterwards, and that usually stems from being seen as a 'couple'. Its a package deal. IMO they don't look genuine. Since the clever editing of his season and their relationship and how she was portrayed - i think in recent interviews they act like they could be from two separate planets.  IMO  

I can see what you are saying for a couple that's been together for years - @sbolduc I find it jarring for a couple that just had their very first 2 weeks of finally being out in the real world and living together...

what we see imho is 2 people that push each other's buttons and it's not yet clear whether they've built the stable safety net of a foundation for a relationship full of respect, adoration, caring, selfless giving etc. on which the bickering is built IMHO

emusha wrote:I can see what you are saying for a couple that's been together for years - @sbolduc I find it jarring for a couple that just had their very first 2 weeks of finally being out in the real world and living together...

what we see imho is 2 people that push each other's buttons and it's not yet clear whether they've built the stable safety net of a foundation for a relationship full of respect, adoration, caring, selfless giving etc. on which the bickering is built IMHO

Agreed. It's maybe okay if there is all that lovey dovey stuff behind it as the foundation, but not right now IMO. Plus, does V even like/want this dynamic? From what I saw her- she seemed like a typical needy Bach girl who wanted the guy to comfort her when she was crying and insecure, nothing to suggest any interest in constant one-upmanship IMO . I'm admittedly biased against Nick so idk.

They just can't resist taking little jabs at each other IMO. If they're like that in interviews/public I just think it's probably worse in private. JMO.

I''m just waiting until he gets voted off DWTS to see how they really are. It's all fun and games now.

Too bad we are not living with them to see how they really are in private with each other.

JMO

I agree with the above. To me, I saw more lovey dovey stuff on the show than now. Granted on the show they had bubble love. But as a couple who is supposed to be in the honeymoon stages, I dunno, I'm just not seeing it. I get that they are older, and I get that they are being realistic, but at the same time, show me love! Yes the banter might be cute, but at some point, I want to see them look into each other's eyes like there is no one else in the world they'd rather be with. But I just am not feeling the vibes, IMO.

Devil's advocate. Maybe they are not that touchy feely cotton candy couple? I can't imagine looking into my DH's eyes in public on camera with doe eyes, forget about him. It aint happening. (I'm talking about the early stages and not now yrs later). Now I would just say get up we're leaving. Now and be out the door.

^ Yeah, but the thing with young love (meaning new love), you just don't care who's watching, IMO. So that's not a factor for me really. They don't have to be touchy feely but to me I should still see it in the eyes, IMO.

Kashathediva wrote:Devil's advocate. Maybe they are not that touchy feely cotton candy couple? I can't imagine looking into my DH's eyes in public on camera with doe eyes, forget about him. It aint happening. (I'm talking about the early stages and not now yrs later). Now I would just say get up we're leaving. Now and be out the door.

This is how I kind of view them. JMO, but I feel like just because their relationship played out in the public eye doesn't mean they need to be all over each other 24/7. I actually like that they're being so lowkey besides DWTS. Not saying everyone isn't entitled to their own opinion but I think people are overanalyzing a 3 minute video. The interviewer was asking silly questions. I don't see anything wrong with how they answered/acted in the video. If it was serious questions yes, but it was meant to be lighthearted.

Also, I'm not seeing any other warning signs that they're doomed. He's gone out of his way to include her in his DWTS experience. They traveled to his hometown where they barely posted anything on SM. He wears a bracelet with her name on it. I think little things like that matter more in the long run then how they act in a 3 minute interview,etc. I don't know what else Nick can do to prove he cares about this relationship. I do agree that the true test will come post DWTS though.

^^^
In some people's eyes Nick is criticized for anything he does . I also thought the interview was sweet and funny. JMO