Re: Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #5

by Cocoasneeze Fri Feb 03, 2017 2:23 pm

Imo Ben needs to learn a lot about himself. He has no clue what he wants out of life, and who he is as a person. I get that many go to the show for an experience, and that's fine. But Ben took the lead role, proposed to Lauren twice, made grand gestures publicly about how he wanted to marry her. But IMO he's never been ready to get married. IMO any person should be at least that in tune with themselves, that when they sign up for a show about wedding preparations and getting married on tv, he should be 100% sure it's what he wants. Taking back a wedding, on tv, is devastatingly humiliating. And IMO after that Ben was the one suggesting they do more of their own thing. He really doesn't want to be in a committed relationship, at least with Lauren, but doesn't have the guts to admit it, IMO, even to himself. JMO

by Alanna Fri Feb 03, 2017 2:27 pm

Ben probably thought he wanted all this (wedding, marriage, house redecorating, pup, kids) because of his age, his friends heading down the path, it's what people, church, his community expects, etc. I'm guessing he was shocked at himself for not truly wanting it or being ready when the time came to pull the trigger.

I wonder if he'd be more ready if he found a more suitable partner and not a vapid idiot. IMO.

by Jolena Fri Feb 03, 2017 2:28 pm

Lennoxcolinrolland wrote:If we are to believe US Weekly, back when the finale of HEA aired, they said the storyline(s) was obviously exaggerated for tv purposes. I took that to mean the cancelation of the wedding. The way that was all filmed, specifically the last episode in Vegas, was very fake looking/sounding to me. That whole bachelor party, Ben was telling his buddies how nervous he was, etc..but then towards the end of the epsiode, their love story plays on a billboard right outside of their hotel, and bam! the wedding is back on. Conflict solved! (which is what happens in every story.) I do think Ben's emotions/feelings as to why he felt they weren't ready to marry were real (that therapy session was deep), but I'm not sure I believe the wedding was ever really off.

All IMO.

I thought the same thing.I thought that show was to show what they went through adjusting to life together after the show all leading up to the TV wedding. I didn't take therapy session seriously at all , thought it was to create Drama. But looking back and now seeing all the red flags of a break up I guess alot of what happened on the HEA show was real.jmo

by **Norcalgal** Fri Feb 03, 2017 2:29 pm

Ben Flajnik knew he wasn't ready to get married and he was the lead (BTW the wine brand he founded was sold last year for $$$$$). So was Jesse Palmer and other leads. Heck Jesse did the show because his agent told him to! Good reason, right?

I won't fault Ben for wanting to slow down marriage. If anything, stepping outside his normal operating mode of Indiana and Colorado, opened his eyes to all the world offers. He may truly love Lauren but could be conflicted about all he hasn't seen and done yet. I think he realized how young he is and there so a whole big world out there.

by Newt Fri Feb 03, 2017 2:35 pm

Lauren's birthday and she's dealing with "break up" rumors, living with a manchild and being bullied on sc about her appearance. How cruel! Stay strong, Lolo! <3

by IWouldMarryAshleyI Fri Feb 03, 2017 2:40 pm

Seabear wrote:That cancelled wedding scene on HEA was the most real and painful thing I have ever seen on this Franchise. The pain, shock and betrayal for Lauren was so terrible to watch. Her facial expression and tears were crushing. Ben's ridiculous explanation and justification made it even worse. He claimed he still loved her and wanted to marry her still but wanted to have stories and memories to share later in life first. It was nuts. The scene with Lauren talking to her sister Mollie about what happened was heartbreaking. There was no acting in this situation IMO because the pain and reaction by Lauren was incredibly difficult to watch as a viewer. Not fake in any way IMO. Ben said recently they tried to work through the situation during filming but as the show aired watching it on TV reopened wounds and made it more difficult. IMO the way Ben callously felt it was okay to publicly humiliate Lauren on TV again with no regard to her feelings, shows to me what a selfish immature manchild Ben is. Utterly thoughtless. IMO the moment that episode aired and the public humiliation began again....the relationship final death spiral began. I personally don't see how Lauren could ever trust Ben again. Why would any person want to be with someone who would treat them that way?? Ben learned nothing from the double ILY fiasco and first public humiliation because Ben always thinks he is right because he is just in pursuit of pacifying his own perspective IMO. Ben lacks the ability for relational balance IMO because he has been mollycoddled and pandered to his whole life IMO. Perfect Ben...I think NOT. Poor Lauren deserves so much more than a relationship where she NEEDS to be the surrogate Mom IMO. Ben's self involved neediness is endless IMO. Regardless of when the announcement is made....IMO these two are not destined for a HEA.
All JMO

I haven't watched HEA. Which episode is this where he does this to her? I would like to watch only that specific episode, if you can tell me which one it is.

by mindless Fri Feb 03, 2017 2:40 pm

Lennoxcolinrolland wrote:If we are to believe US Weekly, back when the finale of HEA aired, they said the storyline(s) was obviously exaggerated for tv purposes. I took that to mean the cancelation of the wedding. The way that was all filmed, specifically the last episode in Vegas, was very fake looking/sounding to me. That whole bachelor party, Ben was telling his buddies how nervous he was, etc..but then towards the end of the epsiode, their love story plays on a billboard right outside of their hotel, and bam! the wedding is back on. Conflict solved! (which is what happens in every story.) I do think Ben's emotions/feelings as to why he felt they weren't ready to marry were real (that therapy session was deep), but I'm not sure I believe the wedding was ever really off.

All IMO.

I don't think the wedding was ever off as in never happening, just the February wedding was postponed indefinitely. The final episode, however, made most viewers think it was back on, which was clearly never the case as evidenced by the awkward "We're in no rush" interviews around the finale and the fact that it's now February and they haven't even started planning. I do think they initially accepted the offer for February since their friends and Lauren's sister seemed to be under the impression that the wedding is pretty imminent. JMO.

by pikake Fri Feb 03, 2017 2:50 pm

Lauren just posted a beautiful picture on Instagram of herself with her sister and mother going to dinner last night. Sorry, I don't know how to post a link or a photo.

by Mustang19 Fri Feb 03, 2017 2:56 pm

Why does a person propose (twice) when they aren't ready to get married? I just don't get that. If I were Lauren, I would cut my losses. In Ben's defense, Lauren seems to be a nice person, but a little too vain for my taste. The blank stare selfies and pressured speech would drive me nuts.

I would want my fiance's feet to be warm and toasty, but that's me. All IMO

by IWouldMarryAshleyI Fri Feb 03, 2017 3:35 pm

sweeti810 wrote:Long time lurker, first time poster. Hope I do this right.

IMO, I don't think it's all Ben's fault IF they're done. Lauren isn't the girl she appeared to be on the show and I think she's much more high maintenance than he thought. Ben seems like a low key kind of guy. Yes, going on multiple reality shows would make you think otherwise, but I think he was genuinely trying to find love, so he wanted to do whatever it would take. The whole HEA show might make it questionable, but what if they were told they had to do it in order to get a televised wedding? IMO anyone in their position would do it because Bachelor weddings are amazing. Also, they were in the honeymoon phase when they signed on, so I believe they really wanted to get married back then. Ben may have been hesitant during HEA, but maybe that's because he finally started seeing the real Lauren. It's crazy how much she has changed from filming to now. This is obviously all JMO.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BPGLF_wAabG/?taken-by=laurenbushnell&hl=en
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/photos/meet-28-women-bachelor-2016-35635869/image-35642155

It does look like she's gotten more attractive, from left to right. But what does that indicate? I hope it isn't some kind of disorder.

by Cila51290 Fri Feb 03, 2017 4:30 pm

I feel like Lauren isn't the "conservative housewife" Ben was looking for. I think that's what he ultimately wants. I mean his whole "honey, I'm home!" persona is borderline playing a character from those perfect-family sitcoms. I think Lauren is too high maintenance and free spirited for his taste. Based on how he acted on HEA and post Bachelor, I think he wants a wife that he can dominate. Lauren is not gonna be that type of person, IMO.

Remember their first 1 on 1 where Ben was so impressed with Lauren saying she liked simple things and watching her Dad mow the lawn. That's basically what he wants Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #5 - Page 56 3806527698

Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #5 - Page 56 3806527698

by bleuberry Fri Feb 03, 2017 5:24 pm

So true! ^ These last 1-2 months have been the most she's reminded me of pre engaged Lauren though, after all the chit he put her through. It felt like she had a lower profile up until the HEA mess which he convinced her of, am I right?

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