Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #5

Alanna wrote:It's interesting that there was a big sentiment that the cancelled wedding was just show shenanigans but IMO it was real and no decent, sane man would sign up for that "storyline" unless it was actually going on to me. I liken this to sm telling the couples' stories in general also: very frequently what we see is really what we get IMO.

But, what if that person felt pressured into a wedding he/she really wasn't ready for? I'd rather him tell the truth than fake it.

atem wrote:

Alanna wrote:It's interesting that there was a big sentiment that the cancelled wedding was just show shenanigans but IMO it was real and no decent, sane man would sign up for that "storyline" unless it was actually going on to me. I liken this to sm telling the couples' stories in general also: very frequently what we see is really what we get IMO.

But, what if that person felt pressured into a wedding he/she really wasn't ready for?  I'd rather him tell the truth than fake it.  

This is the same guy that said on the ATFR that he would marry her tomorrow and reproposed. I think that makes a big difference. JMO

I'm sorry but the fact that Ben agreed to call the wedding off on national television speaks volumes. Not a man who respects Lauren. JMO

atem wrote:

Alanna wrote:It's interesting that there was a big sentiment that the cancelled wedding was just show shenanigans but IMO it was real and no decent, sane man would sign up for that "storyline" unless it was actually going on to me. I liken this to sm telling the couples' stories in general also: very frequently what we see is really what we get IMO.

But, what if that person felt pressured into a wedding he/she really wasn't ready for?  I'd rather him tell the truth than fake it.  

Then he absolutely, under no circumstance should have agreed to the reality show to air nationally that was meant to chronical his wedding journey. What a cluster f**k. What a foolish thing to do. How cruel to do that to your partner.

Not only does the reproposal not make sense, fine, they were new and barely new each other, whatevs. But maybe don't go and blindside her during filming.

Ben's second "proposal" and his "I would marry her tomorrow" was one of the more awkward things I have seen on this show recently. It was obvious to me personally that he was trying to over compensate because of everything that went down on his season. I get why he did it though. He was sort of in a pickle and wanted to prove to Lauren and her family that he was really in it.

He shouldn't have done that and he should have owned what happened in interviews. Instead, he would continuously talk about how difficult it was for him, how very real his feelings were for his F2 women, it will always be one of the hardest things he's done, but he can't regret it because "it spit him out with Lauren." Lauren deserved more than that and then Ben screwed up again with HEA. Ben seems like a super nice guy, but it seems like he lacks some maturity. All JMO

That cancelled wedding scene on HEA was the most real and painful thing I have ever seen on this Franchise. The pain, shock and betrayal for Lauren was so terrible to watch. Her facial expression and tears were crushing. Ben's ridiculous explanation and justification made it even worse. He claimed he still loved her and wanted to marry her still but wanted to have stories and memories to share later in life first. It was nuts. The scene with Lauren talking to her sister Mollie about what happened was heartbreaking. There was no acting in this situation IMO because the pain and reaction by Lauren was incredibly difficult to watch as a viewer. Not fake in any way IMO. Ben said recently they tried to work through the situation during filming but as the show aired watching it on TV reopened wounds and made it more difficult. IMO the way Ben callously felt it was okay to publicly humiliate Lauren on TV again with no regard to her feelings, shows to me what a selfish immature manchild Ben is. Utterly thoughtless. IMO the moment that episode aired and the public humiliation began again....the relationship final death spiral began. I personally don't see how Lauren could ever trust Ben again. Why would any person want to be with someone who would treat them that way?? Ben learned nothing from the double ILY fiasco and first public humiliation because Ben always thinks he is right because he is just in pursuit of pacifying his own perspective IMO. Ben lacks the ability for relational balance IMO because he has been mollycoddled and pandered to his whole life IMO. Perfect Ben...I think NOT. Poor Lauren deserves so much more than a relationship where she NEEDS to be the surrogate Mom IMO. Ben's self involved neediness is endless IMO. Regardless of when the announcement is made....IMO these two are not destined for a HEA.
All JMO

Between Ben's cold SM birthday greeting to Lauren, her recent trips and amount of time she is spending with friends & family, the sexy pics she is posting of herself & his absence fr her social media screams to me that these two are done & it's just a matter of time before it's formally announced. By that time it won't be a shock because people already suspected. It will fade fast, I don't see Ben or Lauren talking about the breakup or each other publicly.I was a fan of these two and thought for SURE that if any couple would make it from this franchise it would have been them. I give up betting on these couples because the ones I swear up and down will DEF make it DON'T and the ones I don't think have a chance DO. JMO:no idea:

Alanna wrote:It's interesting that there was a big sentiment that the cancelled wedding was just show shenanigans but IMO it was real and no decent, sane man would sign up for that "storyline" unless it was actually going on to me. I liken this to sm telling the couples' stories in general also: very frequently what we see is really what we get IMO.

What I thought was scripted shenanigans, was Ben's stupid speech in the final episode about how the wedding's back on and Lauren will be Mrs. Higgins. Obviously it was just empty words designed to tie up loose ends and redeem Ben as usual. I just hope Lauren was in on that deception and didn't get her hopes up again. Seriously, how can she not resent him at this point? He gets to jerk her around any which way he likes and TPTB always tie things up in a pretty bow, so Lauren's the only one getting criticism. I mean after the wedding cancellation she wasn't even sure if Ben still wants to live with her. How can you make your fiancée, who you proposed to twice on television, feel like that? It's like they're still on the Bachelor and Ben gets to make all the decisions while Lauren just waits around unsure of where she stands. No wonder she seems to have decided to start doing her own thing regardless of what Ben's up to. He's probably just happy to avoid her so he won't run the risk of making more promises he can't keep. JMO.

Ash2214 wrote:Ben's second "proposal" and his "I would marry her tomorrow" was one of the more awkward things I have seen on this show recently. It was obvious to me personally that he was trying to over compensate because of everything that went down on his season. I get why he did it though. He was sort of in a pickle and wanted to prove to Lauren and her family that he was really in it.

He shouldn't have done that and he should have owned what happened in interviews. Instead, he would continuously talk about how difficult it was for him, how very real his feelings were for his F2 women, it will always be one of the hardest things he's done, but he can't regret it because "it spit him out with Lauren." Lauren deserved more than that and then Ben screwed up again with HEA. Ben seems like a super nice guy, but it seems like he lacks some maturity. All JMO

Yeah, coming around and actually agreeing with you @Ash2214. I know, sit down.

I think Ben is a people pleaser and always wants to be the nice guy that everyone likes. The re-proposal was definitely damage control and trying to prove that he was in it with Lauren. The better approach, imo, would be just to say you are sorry. You are sorry for being reckless in the bubble and hurting your partner, you are sorry for being reckless and hurting your F2. He didn't have to apologize for his feelings. But a simple apology for how his feelings manifested while in the bubble would have gone a long way.

If we are to believe US Weekly, back when the finale of HEA aired, they said the storyline(s) was obviously exaggerated for tv purposes. I took that to mean the cancelation of the wedding. The way that was all filmed, specifically the last episode in Vegas, was very fake looking/sounding to me. That whole bachelor party, Ben was telling his buddies how nervous he was, etc..but then towards the end of the epsiode, their love story plays on a billboard right outside of their hotel, and bam! the wedding is back on. Conflict solved! (which is what happens in every story.) I do think Ben's emotions/feelings as to why he felt they weren't ready to marry were real (that therapy session was deep), but I'm not sure I believe the wedding was ever really off.

All IMO.

Ash2214 wrote:Ben's second "proposal" and his "I would marry her tomorrow" was one of the more awkward things I have seen on this show recently. It was obvious to me personally that he was trying to over compensate because of everything that went down on his season. I get why he did it though. He was sort of in a pickle and wanted to prove to Lauren and her family that he was really in it.

He shouldn't have done that and he should have owned what happened in interviews. Instead, he would continuously talk about how difficult it was for him, how very real his feelings were for his F2 women, it will always be one of the hardest things he's done, but he can't regret it because "it spit him out with Lauren." Lauren deserved more than that and then Ben screwed up again with HEA. Ben seems like a super nice guy, but it seems like he lacks some maturity. All JMO

I agree he lacks maturity. When they were promoting him to be the bachelor he was 26 yrs old, back then my opinion was that he was to young & immature to be anywhere near ready to get married & have kids. I know age isn't suppose to matter ( Heck I got married at 21 had baby by 24 & still married to same man 41 yrs ) but in today's world seems like this generation is more mature to settle down in their 30's. JMO