Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #4

Hi @Edgarretana10 I am not sure what you mean. If you are referring to Ben and Lauren not returning back to Denver at the same time together after the event finished, I don't see this as an issue.

I would be surprised, if Ben and Lauren actually broke up. I think Lauren staying in LA to catch up with Amanda is perfectly normal, and no indication of trouble with Ben and Lauren.

I found it really interesting and surprising that lauren when being interviewed said the best anyone can do for me is to put their partner's needs above their own...and ben has done that for me over the time we've been together.
Ben looked a bit taken aback by her response then got very absorbed into what she was saying. I would say that both times on tv 1) during the 'I love you' declaration 2) during the let's call the wedding off declaration Ben seemed to put his needs above hers. maybe she sees him doing the reverse in the aftermath?? her comment is either offbase or we actually don't really know how their relationship is despite how it was portrayed on tv.
I do not think Ben does very well with the high-intensity/pressure scenario that comes with the show and I imagine he'd be the kind of partner she wants who'd put her needs above his if they keep off of this show completely for a long while and work out their differences. he needs a serious calming influence to stop his overthinking and find his center and I don't think Lauren gives it to him on the regular basis he needs it

^ When she said that, I thought it was possibly more like a "*nudge nudge* start putting my needs first" type of thing. Kind of a hint to do it more or something. OR maybe she's more than fine with how he treats her/their relationship, and finds his behavior acceptable enough for her. Who knows. None of the shows were 100% representations of their relationship IMO, so it's possible he does cater to her very well.


I did find it rather interesting that in the E! Online article, Lauren said they were both fine being engaged and liked it and yada yada yada, in regards to not getting married right away. So maybe she's not in any rush to marry despite what their show made it seem? Or she's backed down on the rush a bit since then?


All IMO.

I just read where Ben was at a bar. Did someone see a picture of this? I've seen pictures before of him at bars with friends while lauren was away. It just seems to be a natural thing for guys to hang out especially with his friend Matthies(who I'm not sure I care for)JMO. I did think it odd at first ben going to the left and lauren going back to the right after their ET interview but it seemed she was doing another interview and was being called back to finish it. Also I thought it odd lauren sitting at a table on her phone by herself and Amanda calling her name, when lauren looked up she had a weird, sad face. At the same time , who am I to know what was going on. Probably nothing. I'm starting to realize there is 24 hrs. in a day and we only get 5 minutes of the time. I don't know what they are saying or doing but I'm sure it is everyday living like anybody would do. In this age of dating it does seem couples do spend more time with friends and hooked at the hip with their mates. My son had a friend tell him it wasn't good not to have his own friends after he got married or stop hanging out with his friends. I think that was great advice. My best friends daughter took a trip to Mexico couple yrs. ago with her friends after she was married and these girls had been friends since elementary school. Her husband had no objection either. So it seems to be a new generation plus they both have said how independent they are. As for lauren staying back with Amanda I agree Lauren is just being a good friend to Amanda since her break up especially so close to xmas. In Amanda's interview with ET she said this was the first time she had talked about the break up. When I read the comment Ben made on Lauren's pic yesterday I kinda chuckled. He didn't have to put anything but I thought he's missing her and wants to get back to regular life. I think Ben is realizing what a gem he has with Lauren and how it has been hard on her. That comment he made at the end of the interview "don't forget about us " tells me he still has issues with the popularity but I don't think lauren does. I also believe Ben was right Lauren is more mature than him probably because she is the oldest of 4 siblings and he is an only child. I need to remind myself he spent 4 or 5 days at Thanksgiving with Lauren and her family plus took a family photo. I can't imagine Lauren's family including him in that if they thought their was trouble. Didn't he just spend 7 days with her and her family between xmas and new year. Doing a lot of things with her brother, dad and uncle. That was just a week ago. I can't imagine faking all that. I'm thinking this is a much needed breather for them and probably over due. So with all that being said I think they are OK. Whew a lot I know so thanks for letting me share my thoughts which is only MY thoughts. OK I'm done.

If I had a husband who said I couldn't travel or hand around with my friends, he wouldn't be my husband for long.

There are recent articles in their fan thread if anyone wants to read them.

@Edgarretana10 you have mentioned several times you think there is big trouble. Please give examples as to why you think there may be problems, because I don't see it and it's always good to provide proof or statements to back up your opinion.

@GuardianAngel lets see how long she stays in L.A. that will tell a lot in my opinion

I know some people think differently about couples being apart, that its essential and healthy but when I dated the first two years I was tied to the hip with my boyfriend. It's when you feel butterflies in your stomach and want to spend your first everything together. It's only been 1 year of engagement for Ben and Lauren and they're acting like they've been married/together for 5 years... Yes, they've gone to trips together and did the reality show but to me it's all business trips. The only time they've been a normal couple was the trip they did after their show ended and went to some island alone and the times they're with their family & friends. But then again, this takes me back to when they spent some time in California recently with Lauren's family and yet again Lauren snaps a video of Ben sitting on planet jupiter on his phone.....Maybe my relationships were different but I honestly loved being with my significant other A LOT during that first and second year. These two honestly show affection towards eachother in the weirdest way. JMO

Then again it's only been, what, 9-10 months of being public and living together right? Feels like they've done enough. Travelled, redid Ben's house, taped the show, spent time with both families. Doesn't sound crazy to me.

bleuberry wrote:Then again it's only been, what, 10 months of being public and living together right? Feels like they've done enough. Travelled, redid Ben's house, taped the show, spent time with both families. Doesn't sound crazy to me.

Yes, thats true. But their relationship is still a little off to me based on the last couple of months and this is coming from me who was a fan of this couple. JMO

I agree with you. I still lean towards them getting through this learning curve together but they def have some stuff to figure out. I know we say Lauren has RBF but Ben's snapchat face takes the cake .

Basically imo they're not "friends" and wouldn't be friends if they weren't involved/sleeping together/fake reality show "engaged"/ whatever. So I get why she has more fun with her actual friends Duh and Double Trouble and probs same for him. IMO.