Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #4

Previous threads here

Continue #4 here.

Are Lauren and Ben not spending Christmas together? I just saw a comment on IG about them not spending Christmas together and that's it's only Tuesday and Lauren is already headed to be with her family while Ben stayed with his. Is this correct?

If so, I have to say I'm surprised. I know it's difficult with being from different states, but with any couple from this show and in real life I'd be saying the same thing. I think it's ridiculous. JMO

If they're not, that makes me think something's wrong behind the scenes

Ash2214 wrote:Are Lauren and Ben not spending Christmas together? I just saw a comment on IG about them not spending Christmas together and that's it's only Tuesday and Lauren is already headed to be with her family while Ben stayed with his. Is this correct?

If so, I have to say I'm surprised. I know it's difficult with being from different states, but with any couple from this show and in real life I'd be saying the same thing. I think it's ridiculous. JMO

Yup. My understanding is that this is their "compromise," which is laughable to me. When you're engaged and claim you're ready for marriage, your family becomes your spouse IMO. To spend the holidays with your mom and dad shows where your priorities are and it's not their SO. Which is fine, their life, yada yada, but I think it's a good example of their readiness to be together forevah. Are they going to split the kids down the middle for each set of grandparents too? Meh.

When is this wedding Benji-O is now so super duper ready for?

If they want to spend the holidays apart, thats their choice. I dont see whats wrong with that, as long as both are ok with it. Im not spending Christmas with my SO this year either as im going on a girls trip. Doesnt mean theres anything wrong us. We are both happy with the plans we have made.

The only way this isn't strange is if they visited one set of family together first and then traveled together to visit the other set of family. They could still be together and see both families for the holidays. It's not a difficult concept. Millions do it. Lol

I'm trying to picture my engaged friends going to visit their respective families separately for the holidays and it would be strange for sure. Unless there was something up with why one didn't want to see the other's family.

I know for me, there's a difference between a boyfriend and a girlfriend. For example, my brother dated his now fiancé for a couple of years before they got engaged. During those two years, sometimes they would spend the holidays together and sometimes they wouldn't. Now that they're engaged, he spent thanksgiving with her family in NC instead of Boston, and last weekend they flew to NC to celebrate Christmas with her family and they will be with us for actual Christmas this weekend. They will switch it around next year.

Once you're engaged, it's about blending your lives together and compromising to be together. If they're really okay with spending their first Christmas in public apart, I would have thought she would at least stay in Indiana an extra day or two to spend as much time as possible with him. All JMO

What?! They're spending Christmas apart?!

They are visiting both families. Lauren just left Warsaw and Ben is flying to Portland the day after Christmas. They have been pretty even with the time they have spent with families over the holidays. Both Mothers, Fathers, and Thanksgiving were spent with Laurens family. Easter and 4th of July were with Bens, and accompanied by Laurens family. Again, i dont see why them making a decision thats best for the both of them, and only affects the two of them, means something is wrong in their relationship.

I guess I just find it mind boggling that an engaged couple that should be blending their lives together is totally fine with spending arguably the biggest holiday apart from each other.

The same comment that I read referenced that Lauren said they were only spending Christmas Day apart (is this true?), but that it was a lie because Christmas Day is still five days away and she already left. If this is true, who knows if Ben will really be flying to Portland the day after Christmas.

With the amount of combined family stuff they'd done, I find it odd that they are not going to be together Christmas at least the two of them.  They could've hosted and had everyone come in if they were having issues deciding where, when, etc.  I could see if it someone on either side was sick and one of them was helping take care of the other or some type situation like that.  But to have been together until now with his parents and then separate until the day after, is a little odd, IMO, and makes me wonder if somethings up.

Of course it's their business and whatever floats their boat is fine.  But they make it public and put themselves out there so we can most definitely discuss and speculate, especially in a general discussion thread.

JMOAA

Ash2214 wrote:I guess I just find it mind boggling that an engaged couple that should be blending their lives together is totally fine with spending arguably the biggest holiday apart from each other.

The same comment that I read referenced that Lauren said they were only spending Christmas Day apart (is this true?), but that it was a lie because Christmas Day is still five days away and she already left. If this is true, who knows if Ben will really be flying to Portland the day after Christmas.

Ehh I'm not shocked or surprised really. I see zero warmth in that relationship personally and never did. They're together because why the hecko not? But she's a cold Ice Princess IMO and he needs constant attention/love and coddling. Maybe they'll last, who knows, but a passionate and loving match this is not IMO, more like one of appropriate convenience where each checks a bunch of nice to have boxes.