MAFS - Season 4 - Derek Schwartz - Heather Seidel

I'm so glad I read this thread. It all makes sense now. At first I thought that Heather was making a mountain out of a mole hill which totally turned me off to her. Kind of pointing out all of her faults in my my (or finding faults). But now realizing that it's not cigs, it ALL makes total sense, right down to his goofy smile abd squinted eyes. Not that the goofy smile and squinted eyes are a bad thing it's just not the "super excited " guy I was thinking and more of a "yeaaaa I'm stoned" kinda guy. Imo smoking isn't a total deal breaker if you've known someone for a long time and this is coming from someone that hasn't touched the stuff since high school 35 yrs ago because I unfortunately didn't like the buzz. But I can't even imagine being paired up with someone at first sight like this, by experts and have my groom getting stoned everyday. That's just crazy! I mean really! Hold off buddy until you know her for gods sake. First impressions are huge for me, which I've always considered a big fault of mine, but in this situation a first impression like this would be hard to get over. Example : "oh, and here me and my husband are on our honeymoon on the the beach and he's higher than a kite again" ugh. Gotta side with Heather on this one, I'd be enjoying this honeymoon in the company of myself whenever possible

Ali_R wrote:I feel so stupid! All the talking about smoking, one cigarette a day didn't seem excessive!!! Weed, Der!  People have mentioned how casual Dr. Pepper is about pot, remember she's from Seattle where it's legal and very, very common. I thought Derek's response after the honeymoon fight was amazing and Heather refused to open her mind and her heart and listen to what he was trying to say. When it all fell apart and degraded to nastiness and he made a comment about her being an alcoholic made me wonder if he already knew about her previous issues/DUII?  But I remind myself they're showing me what they want me to see. I have little hope for any couple that says it takes time to build up chemistry. Yeah, you can have love and a commitment but you ain't got a thing if you don't have that zing

I read somewhere (maybe linked off this thread?) that when 19, Heather was arrested for public intoxication (not a DUI) during some sort of Mardi Gras when lifting her top for beads. Supposedly, the arrest became life altering in that she didn't want to be that person.

What bothers me most about this episode is that the show paired her with a drug addict. That is so uncool.

Something one did once at age 19 should not trail the person around forever, especially if the person learned her lesson from it. What one is doing NOW at age 35 is another issue altogether. I think Derek needs to recognize he has a problem and get some help. JMO.

Columbia, MD wrote:Something one did once at age 19 should not trail the person around forever, especially if the person learned her lesson from it.   What one is doing NOW at age 35 is another issue altogether.  I think Derek needs to recognize he has a problem and get some help.  JMO.

He definitely know there is a problem and he was trying to figure a solution but Heather was so stuck on the problem that they were stuck in a circle. I totally think she checked out after finding out he had flaws. JMO

BTW I love this review. I agree with everything they said abt Heather and Derek

https://youtu.be/MYwWMKibHFw

I only caught the last few minutes, but I must say I was impressed with him trying to be reasonable and have a discussion with her.

Then, the you drank more alcohol than I ever smoked comment, threw me off. I didn't now that was an issue. That would be something along with the pot smoking, that I would have to try and compromise with, because I couldn't stand being with someone who drank that much or smoked every day.

If it's not ok for him to smoke pot while on holidays then it's not ok for her to drink that much being on holidays IMHO. This coming from someone who does neither.

The issue at first was it's not fair to Heather that he smokes and she didn't know. Now I see a situation where she perhaps drinks too much, and he didn't know.

GuardianAngel wrote:I only caught the last few minutes, but I must say I was impressed with him trying to be reasonable and have a discussion with her.

Then, the you drank more alcohol than I ever smoked comment, threw me off. I didn't now that was an issue. That would be something along with the pot smoking, that I would have to try and compromise with, because I couldn't stand being with someone who drank that much or smoked every day.

If it's not ok for him to smoke pot while on holidays then it's not ok for her to drink that much being on holidays IMHO. This coming from someone who does neither.

The issue at first was it's not fair to Heather that he smokes and she didn't know. Now I see a situation where she perhaps drinks too much, and he didn't know.

Heather's perspective was that to smoke a joint on waking up every day is materially different from having a beach-side cocktail on vacation, and candidly, I see that.

If that's the case, I would agree. However why did he accuse her of drinking way more than he ever smoked? I have not watched the full epi, so it might have been clarified by Heather exactly how much she was drinking.

Ali_R wrote:I feel so stupid! All the talking about smoking, one cigarette a day didn't seem excessive!!! Weed, Der!  People have mentioned how casual Dr. Pepper is about pot, remember she's from Seattle where it's legal and very, very common. I thought Derek's response after the honeymoon fight was amazing and Heather refused to open her mind and her heart and listen to what he was trying to say. When it all fell apart and degraded to nastiness and he made a comment about her being an alcoholic made me wonder if he already knew about her previous issues/DUII?  But I remind myself they're showing me what they want me to see. I have little hope for any couple that says it takes time to build up chemistry. Yeah, you can have love and a commitment but you ain't got a thing if you don't have that zing

I've never heard a "pothead" (they are in and all around my area) speak with such a clear understanding of what it takes to build a lasting relationship.  Also, I'm a little confused as to why Derek would possibly jeopardize his job by publicly smoking pot.  Some of this is not adding up to me, and seems more producer induced than anything.  jmo.

I noticed that on the individual interviews with Jamie Otis, after last night's episode, Heather was clearly in another room than the other cast members--as if her interview was done remotely.

I, too, think that Derek had some very valid things to say about his relationship with Heather and about working things out, but something about his goofy expression is just very off-putting to me.

Isn't Heather the flight attendant that is always travelling? IIRC maybe that's why she wasn't there.

I dont like Derek and he was the wrong pick for Heather period, nough said.

I thought last night was really telling. (I wonder what the average viewer thinks about all the "smoking" segments.) I thought Derek really was articulate and made a good point about Heather being alone if she doesn't at least try to talk things out and compromise. She's totally the Ashley of the season.

HOWEVER, I would definitely call foul if I got matched with someone who smoked pot five days in a row after we met, vacation or not.