The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - Episode 9 - Discussion - #2 *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

Sorry for another lengthy post of mine, I seem to love doing them haha. these are all my opinions:
 
1.       I’m kind of irritated that they switched the order of Lauren and Jojo’s date, but I understand it’s for good television.
2.       Two very different ILYs. I’m really trying to be as unbiased as I can be because I like Jojo as well, but I cried during Lauren’s, it was such a precious moment to see them unguarded, fully emotional.
3.       Two very different reactions to Ben’s ILY. Jojo was very aware of the fact that he is not supposed to say that, knowing “unwritten rules” of this reality show. It felt like she was primarily more shocked that he dared to say that on cameras, and then the meaning sunk in later. Lauren’s reaction was very “I can’t express how amazing I feel right now and you don't know how much you mean to me.” That’s my interpretation.
4.       BenJo relationship is so very physical.
5.       I thought Caila looked the most beautiful of all the episodes the morning after, when she sat on that bed saying good morning to Ben. I really felt sorry seeing her cry so much, and that comes from a person who didn’t particularly like her during the show. I guess I’m not that indifferent towards her.
6.       Caila seems to have set up a perfect back story for being the next ette, but I’m still rooting for Jojo to get it.
7.       If Ben and Lauren really are together now, this must have been really hard to cope with, if not still is.
8.       Ben, there’s no such thing as two true loves, don’t be greedy. I came in to justify his state of mind, lack of energy whatever before watching, hoping the previews were just trying to mislead us, but he said those three words way too many times for me to be on his side in this dispute. I know people have been giving Ben a lot of backlash during this season but this is the first time I felt really disappointed in him. I hope he at least owns up to everything.

9.       Lauren sky-rocketed to my most favourite beings on this show, closely followed by not Ben, not the twins or Jojo, but the sea turtles.

Aww poor Ben.
My reaction after each episode. This is so hard, i feel bad for him.

ForeverLove wrote:

sophienette wrote:

There is space at the  villa, they offer helicopter rides to and from there.

So Lauren still needs a Limo to get to Ben ?

I don't believe so

Carolinagirl1864 wrote:I think Ben is going to use the unlovable move and say he just got caught up with 2 women loving him.He had never felt really loved before.It is going to be his attempt to have everyone  feel sorry for him after this mess tonight.Hasn't that been the theme of his season that he was unlovable?

I saw an unlovable side of him tonight. He's definitely not taking Andrew Firestone's place as my favorite after that nonsense. It's like middle school Ben shows up every now and then. Actually, on twitter, people are saying he seemed stoned half the time. What the heck was wrong with him?  

mtnlvr55 wrote:I just re-watched the previews for the FRC.
It seems like Jojo is in brighter light.
It seems like Lauren is in a softer glow.
Would that make Lauren later? I think so, but not sure.
Both are riding in the same(or basically the same) helicopter. The same little no smoking emblem is over each girl's right shoulder. The color on the inside at least appears the same.
Anyone else rewatch thepreviews?

I noticed that you had the diamond patterned lantern right for the ily in JoJo's room. IA- Lauren looked later in the day.

IMO Ben is all kinds of stupid and immature.

I don't get why people feel sorry for him.
He has a lot of growing up to do before he can truly sustain a relationship.
Told Lauren he has been in love with her for a while, imagine Jojo watching that after being dumped. Why tell Jojo you love her if you knew you had been in love with Lauren?
At this point, the ones who were let go are the lucky ones. He is so full of crap just as Jojo's brothers called it.
Spewing out what he assumes people want to hear just so he appears to be the perfect Ben.
He spent all season almost hounding every girl to fall for him and tell him so when he knew he wanted Lauren. I know the premise of the show and all but Ben could have left the producers to do that job on the girls. Very selfish of him to say all that and hurt or embarrass so many of the girls. Think Jubilee, Becca, Caila, Jojo, even Lauren.

I actually respect JPG and Brad 1.0 so much more than "perfect Ben". At least they gave no false expectations.

I was planning on putting a post together with my thoughts but now I can't.

The only reason why I think/hope he picks LoLo is because of the way he looks at her - and the little nose gazes they do. My s/o looks at me like that - and Ben doesn't look at JoJo in the same way.

I think that if LoLo was never on the show - he would've picked JoJo hands down. Other than the ILY, JoJo's getting such a similar edit to Lana on Bach AUS.

all IMO of course!

So, I was wondering, are we really sure that Lauren had the 3 FD? I have listened to the ILY`s again and they have no emotions behind them (in his voice) when he says them to Jojo IMO (during their FD). Could he have slipped to Lauren and then had to tell JOJO the same? BUT, he doesn't seem like the guy that would agree on that, I guess he did love them both…

adj13 wrote:It seems like everyone is forgetting that this is A TV SHOW!!! The drama is amplified, the feelings are amplified... Everything is blown out of proportion!

Should Ben have told both girls he loved them? No. But IMO, Ben was saying what he felt in the moment with each girl. When he went on his date with JoJo, he didn't know Lauren would later confess her love for him. He only knew that JoJo loved him and he felt feelings of love for her too. So being the honest, in the moment, caring guy that he is, he expressed that. Was he thinking about the future and the repercussions? Obviously not, but if he was, he would be playing this whole thing safe and he wouldn't be being true to himself. As Trista Sutter just tweeted, "Without risk, there is no reward!"

In the end, he loved both girls at the end of this process, but loved one more than the other and could truly see his life with one over the other. (I will also say that I still believe his I love yous to Lauren seemed much more sincere and heartfelt).  

Obviously he has told his F1 about all of this. He isn't stupid! And no, it can't be easy to watch, but I feel like the ITM tonight of Lauren saying "I certainly think it's possible to be in love with two people" or something to that extent, already shows us that she is forgiving and understanding about this whole crazy process and the feelings that can develop. Freaking out that she needs to dump him right now over something that happened in November is a little outrageous, IMO. We have no idea how their relationship has developed since this was filmed 4 months ago.

This show is not real life, in real life you don't date multiple people at once, therefore, the rule of the relationship while on this show obviously do not apply the way they would in real life. Now that the show is over, the rule apply, but anything that happened while filming cannot be held against the lead, IMO.

THIS! 10/10

peggy0221 wrote:I haven't watched this episode yet, but I've said it right before it aired tonight, Ben did seem annoyed in the preview when he was talking with Lauren. If I were him, I would be thinking "What more do you want? I have made it so obvious it is you and every girls see it too."

IMO, Lauren doesn't seem to be a sweet girlfriend, she wants to be the Queen, be pleased and validated. I can see how tough it could be for the Bachelor, considering the process is emotionally draining. And she has been playing the hard to get game from the start, been dancing in circle the whole time. One day she could see herself with Ben, another day she is terrified and want more validation. This cycle has been repeating the whole season!!! If I were Ben, I will be annoyed too!!

All my opinions.

Well considering he also fell in love with another girl, maybe Lauren had reasons to doubt?

dandelioninspring wrote:I was planning on putting a post together with my thoughts but now I can't.

The only reason why I think/hope he picks LoLo is because of the way he looks at her - and the little nose gazes they do. My s/o looks at me like that - and Ben doesn't look at JoJo in the same way.

I think that if LoLo was never on the show - he would've picked JoJo hands down. Other than the ILY, JoJo's getting such a similar edit to Lana on Bach AUS.

all IMO of course!

I thought about Lana too. And IMO 'if' is never a good start for a relationship, there would be another 'if' stopping it if it wasn't Lauren (or Snez).

Ben deserves some flack, he's coming across really manipulative with his need to seem like the good guy and need to please everyone.

I'm pretty sure Lauren is the F1, I hope these episodes aren't too hard for her to watch.

sharonchan wrote:Not sure if some of these posts are from the West Coast but East Coast showing of this episode Ben's dates were: Caila, Lauren and JoJo. So he told Lauren he loved her before JoJo and as he was waiting for JoJo he said "if I can't resolve my feelings for JoJo (para-phrasing) I will have to let her go because it wouldn't be fair to her." Then she arrives and I  guess he realized he loved JoJo. What if when one of them finds out about the ILYs to the other one, they want to leave? And he says in the previews "because that's how much I love her" well sounds like he may have "owned up to his MISTAKE to F1 (whoever that is)  and she forgave him.   Anyway, just saw that several posts said JoJo was first date and overnight but not where I live JoJo was. Interesting they would show a different order from one on one coast and another on the opposite coast.

It was edited that way, and the audio you mention of Ben was all VO and probably added/recorded after the facts

sophienette wrote:

adj13 wrote:It seems like everyone is forgetting that this is A TV SHOW!!! The drama is amplified, the feelings are amplified... Everything is blown out of proportion!

Should Ben have told both girls he loved them? No. But IMO, Ben was saying what he felt in the moment with each girl. When he went on his date with JoJo, he didn't know Lauren would later confess her love for him. He only knew that JoJo loved him and he felt feelings of love for her too. So being the honest, in the moment, caring guy that he is, he expressed that. Was he thinking about the future and the repercussions? Obviously not, but if he was, he would be playing this whole thing safe and he wouldn't be being true to himself. As Trista Sutter just tweeted, "Without risk, there is no reward!"

In the end, he loved both girls at the end of this process, but loved one more than the other and could truly see his life with one over the other. (I will also say that I still believe his I love yous to Lauren seemed much more sincere and heartfelt).  

Obviously he has told his F1 about all of this. He isn't stupid! And no, it can't be easy to watch, but I feel like the ITM tonight of Lauren saying "I certainly think it's possible to be in love with two people" or something to that extent, already shows us that she is forgiving and understanding about this whole crazy process and the feelings that can develop. Freaking out that she needs to dump him right now over something that happened in November is a little outrageous, IMO. We have no idea how their relationship has developed since this was filmed 4 months ago.

This show is not real life, in real life you don't date multiple people at once, therefore, the rule of the relationship while on this show obviously do not apply the way they would in real life. Now that the show is over, the rule apply, but anything that happened while filming cannot be held against the lead, IMO.

THIS! 10/10

Fo Sho(w)! ;) You can fall in love with two people ...but do I think he stayed in love with Jojo, no. Their's was a bubble love. From what I have observed, if Ben's going to find forever love with anyone, it'd be Lauren. I think it is totally possible for him to pick Lauren and only want Lauren, proving to her every day that he just wants her! I didn't see any evidence that he was annoyed with her. Lauren might be hurt watching, but if she wants to work it out, she will be resilient because I'm sure Ben has been giving his ILY's for the past 4 months to only her. He probably told her which will soften the blow. If he told her, she can't pretend like she didn't know. I think her commentary post show will reflect this. "Yea, it sucks, but he has been honest with me throughout, so I trust him."