The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - Episode 9 - Discussion - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

It makes sense to me that Ben discussed his confusion,his "what have I done" telling two women ILY, with his parents. He looks exhausted and emotionally drained in Jamaica, and is in the bubble with only producers to talk to, who are undoubtedly emotionally manipulating him and who surely aren't there to give emotional support or help him sort out his feelings. Producers\handlers will only egg on his confusion and emotional meltdowns because it makes for good TV.

Interesting that previews show us Ben sharing his confusion with his parents but don't show us any response\feedback from the parents. I think the parents,who want what is best for Ben, and are not worried about what makes good TV, will give him feed back that ultimately will give him clarity.

I still always go back in my mind to the fact that after all the emotional angst they've showed us, we have that sc of Ben at FRC podium looking very confident and relaxed. And I do think he calls Mom from FRC to basically thank his parents for helping him "clear his head" and let them know he is now about to propose,and is very comfortable with his decision. JMO

casjacknick wrote:

tennischick80 wrote:

Mommyof1 wrote:

And the 3/4 Mesnick.  Clearly, he has strong feelings for both women at this point.  

Does he say, "I love both of them," or "I told them both I loved them"? to his parents. There's a difference, IMO.  

I don't know, where can we find that promo?
Also all the sleuthing has led us to believe that he says the new super heart felt one to Jojo, yes?

Have we matched the rooms? Votives, lamps, couch?

Here's the promo. Lucas and others figured out the spliced editing . But it shows what he told his parents .

Do we know with certainty that heartfelt ILY was to JoJo? Last I checked, it was still inconclusive.

Des was heartfelt in her love for Brooks. Jason was heartfelt in his love for Melissa.

Even if Ben is SUPER heartfelt about JoJo and genuinely confused... At the end of the day, he "loves someone else... More" to quote him from the promos.

I thought someone matched the candle on Jojo's bedside table or something.

Crazylady29 wrote:Well I'm not liking the fact that the super heartfelt I love you was for jojo and not Lauren.

Maybe he fell more deeply for Jojo and won't be able to let her go. I actually haven't watched it because I think it is to Jojo. OR, maybe his heartfelt I love you was what gives her total trust in him and then gets blindsided? I need to stop and just watch. There's nothing I can do to control what already happened. I may not like it in the end, but it doesn't change anything with me.

sosleepy wrote:Do we know with certainty that heartfelt ILY was to JoJo? Last I checked, it was still inconclusive.

Des was heartfelt in her love for Brooks. Jason was heartfelt in his love for Melissa.

Even if Ben is SUPER heartfelt about JoJo and genuinely confused... At the end of the day, he "loves someone else... More" to quote him from the promos.

I am kinda bent out of shape over this. But reading your comparisons makes sense . Guess it's actually hearing Ben say it to two is troublesome. This is new territory . Des only said it when Brooks wanted to leave. She exhaled and spilled her heart out. But it does show the lead can make due and a life with either of their F2's.

casjacknick wrote:I thought someone matched the candle on Jojo's bedside table or something.

No the angle doesn't work for that IMHO. However, I do think its JoJo and Lauren he says ILY to, potentially more than once to each.

See either way it's a lose lose situation to me. If he did feel more deeply for jojo than I have wasted all my time in watching for him and Lauren and why would he tell Lauren is he has been in love with her for a while? Than if he does end up blinding jojo I would like him less and less and my heart will go out to her

Crazylady29 wrote:See either way it's a lose lose situation to me. If he did feel more deeply for jojo than I have wasted all my time in watching for him and Lauren and why would he tell Lauren is he has been in love with her for a while? Than if he does end up blinding jojo I would like him less and less and my heart will go out to her

I guess that's the hard part. We're watching in realtime what actually happened months ago. No matter what transpired, if they're ok, we'll be ok. Imo

ForeverLove wrote:

sosleepy wrote:Do we know with certainty that heartfelt ILY was to JoJo? Last I checked, it was still inconclusive.

Des was heartfelt in her love for Brooks. Jason was heartfelt in his love for Melissa.

Even if Ben is SUPER heartfelt about JoJo and genuinely confused... At the end of the day, he "loves someone else... More" to quote him from the promos.

I am kinda bent out of shape over this. But reading your comparisons makes sense . Guess it's actually hearing Ben say it to two is troublesome. This is new territory . Des only said it when Brooks wanted to leave. She exhaled and spilled her heart out. But it does show the lead can make due and a life with either of their F2's.

Don't get bent out of shape. We don't even really know how it plays out yet. I'm going to wait until I crucify him. Honestly, if they are meant to be they will be, regardless of what happened while they were filming a very odd, and not true to life reality show. And if not, well- then they aren't worth my time obsessing over them and best they break up sooner than later so I move on! Haha

The older I get, I realize life isn't black and white. So many shades of grey. If it were *me* in Lauren's position and he was communicative, and we were really in love, I'd be forgiving. Maybe that's just me though.

Still sucks but hey it's their life not mine. I guess I just won't watch this show anymore because this show just makes me so mad