Becca Tilley - Bachelor 19 - Discussion - #9

happygolucky, I so understand what you are saying and I agree 100%. I think part of the reason I hope Ben doesn't end up with Becca is what I see as a lack of Passion in her. To each person I think that may mean something different. And passion does help define our character I believe. Others on the show have talked about their passion but never did see Becca do that. Be it animals, kids, art or the list goes on and on. Concerts, partying, and being a Christian are not passions in my eyes. Christianity can become a passion but to do that you have to not just talk the talk but walk the walk. Becca's tiny little bikini's and constant party photo's just don't show that to me. JMO To each their own, but I pray Ben doesn't pick her.

This is not about my story, but to give an example: I grow up in a middle class family, working parents and as long as I remember I was passionate about the nature conservancy and dancing. I tried all kinds of sports, but the longest I dedicated my time to was horseback riding and (latin/ballet) dance. My parents did their part of a dedicated teachers and silent partners and took their time so that I was able to afford to take lessons and I did my part to train my a** off, sometimes that meant giving something up in order to progress in my activity I was passionate about. When the time came for some serious competition I balked out ... I found other excuse to let those passions go ... there were my insecurities and personal struggles that were stronger than the love I had for the dance. As for the horses, i was fortunate enough that I live near the country and I continue to be involved with the animals. Today I'm mostly dedicated to help the dog-shelter in my community and I try to walk the walk with what I "preach" when it comes to love for the nature, ecology and water awareness.
Safe to say ... it was because of my character and my "weakness" that I didn't continue with both of my passions, which led me to retire before reaching any significant success (by general opinion).

But the passion itself never went away and continues to be present, just in another form and on the other scale of success, where there are no judges to give you half points, or gowns and makeup to apply to impress and no bloody toes, but there are moments when the struggle gets to you just as much, when you have to fight with the authorities for your voice, when you have to pay attention to things that can make or break your effort and hard work.

So I don't know how much the character defines what we are passionate about, but it definitely influences on how we are going to approach and pursue the "subject" of our passion. It defines our measure of success and where we put our limits to.

Agreed, HGL and well-said. I do believe our character can guide us with where to invest our energy into our passions. But at the end of the day, character definitely outweighs even passions/achievements, IMO. And character does not always correlate with passion/achievement or passion/achievement with character. A lot of people can have passions and achieve great things and still be lacking in good character. I've seen this time and time again with those whose passions may be considered noble -- their character one day may reveal that even the noblest pursuits/passions/achievements can be achieved through ignoble means.

One thing I do admire Becca for is her passion to remain a virgin which is something she has stuck with no matter what and that is hard to do in this world where sex is meaningless for so many. That she wants to save that for marriage speaks perhaps to her character and perhaps her passions and achievements as well. It may be silly to some but it has meaning to her and on that front, at least she is living her own life. She also seems to really want to fall in love and find someone. Perhaps that is why she is wandering aimlessly a bit. She has a good family and comes form a good background with good values and I do think she is more likely to be someone to get married and make her life about that. After 30, it's hard to make Hollywood home, even for those that like it.

I'm the last person who can judge another for "not figuring out" early in life ... because I changed my course and career aspirations many times (always with the common roots), something I understand was due to my personality (and my flaws), sometimes because of my character (and my weaknesses and strengths). I could only really understand it once it was over and behind me, because not always I felt as a winner or an achiever until someone else pointed out to me, that the moves I made were courageous and daring ... the last thing I ever thought of myself. So sometimes it can also be that we don't see our "character" the way other people perceive it... sometimes we need another person (it takes only 1) to push us, help us, not necessarily guide us, but gives us the opportunity, sometimes all it takes is a second of pause or an affirmative tap on the back.

I guess, I though Becca had hers the first time and didn't take it ... or didn't recognize it when faced with it ... but as a Nick's chick I guess fair-play in place ... Who am I to say when the lessons should be learned?
Nick made the "same mistake" twice ... only that the second time he finally took the bull by its horns and now rides the wave. So if Becca feels the need to try her luck another time, to face her own limits, insecurities, fears and maybe learn the lesson (with us watching), because I bet there will be one at the end of the road... I can only wish her good luck ... and be alert, eyes/heart/mind wide open.

ICU wrote:
happygolucky, I so understand what you are saying and I agree 100%.  I think part of the reason I hope Ben doesn't end up with Becca is what I see as a lack of Passion in her.  To each person I think that may mean something different.  And passion does help define our character I believe.  Others on the show have talked about their passion but never did see Becca do that.  Be it animals, kids, art or the list goes on and on.  Concerts, partying, and being a Christian are not passions in my eyes.  Christianity can become a passion but to do that you have to not just talk the talk but walk the walk.  Becca's tiny little bikini's and constant party photo's just don't show that to me.  JMO  To each their own, but I pray Ben doesn't pick her.

IMHO, each person is welcome to choose their passion and pursue it the way they so choose. Viewers have seen leads / contestants that had "solid" passions before appearing on the show. Some passions were job related: Ashley & dentistry, Des & bridal fashion design, Chris & landscape design, Jillian & interior design,etc. Some were more altruistic: Kiptyn & his charities, Whitney & women's fertility issues, Josh & his faith / charities, Sean & his faith. Still others seems to value their pursuit of "living la vida loca" and Hollywood-type fame as a passion: MeAndI, Kaitlyn & Shawn, Jake, Chris S. for example.

While remaining a virgin is a commendable choice, I don't view it as a "passion" and question why this choice is revealed on a scripted reality tv dating show. Please don't insult my intelligence by implying the reveal is to empower young women to make a similar choice. That story is a bit suspect when you tweet about using roofies to ra** another female. IMHO.

When your SM is mostly filled with references to the Bach, modeling, product promotion and your adoration of fast-food sprinkled with an occasional retweet of someone else's words of wisdom, it shows the person you choose to "be" in the eyes of the world. It's ok by me for you to walk that walk! We should all feel free to live our truth.

It's weird how Becca came and wrote on here right before filming started

IMO it's a WIN WIN for Becca to go on Ben's season.  The producers are probably paying her more than she would earn working at her job (just like they pay former contestants on BIP)  She gets to meet new friends, date a guy she's interested in, and travel to interesting places.

The producers may have promised Ben would keep her until the final 3 or 4 so she has the opportunity to change her image, promote her brand, or whatever other intentions she may have.

I don't see why the producers would feel compelled to promise her anything. If it wasn't her, they could've gotten another former contestant to come back on. The way I see it, Becca WANTS to come back on, be it for Ben or promotion or some of both..but I doubt she's being paid by TPTB

KatCAli90 wrote:It's weird how Becca came and wrote on here right before filming started

If it really was her, IMO she was very well liked during CS's season. IIRC there weren't very many negative SM comments at all. She enjoyed that spotlight I'm sure. Post show, it's been a little different, with her immature supposedly drunk texts, partying up with K and all those comments they put on SM "joking". The tide is turning IMO, like ICU said up thread, she doesn't walk the talk. It's annoying to me to read biblical messages tweeted out, when they are the furtherest from being a good shepherd.

I think her fan base has declined, and again, if it was really her, and she was reading the negative comments, knowing she was going to be in our faces again, maybe she was trying to lay the guilt on those who are no longer fans.

Now that we know thanks to RJ that she is going to be on the show just as we speculated, that post seems to be a last ditch maneuver to repair her image IMHO.

KatCAli90 wrote:It's weird how Becca came and wrote on here right before filming started

Yeah the timing felt rather calculated and manipulative IMHO , I am sure Becca knew about this forum long before that and some of the negatives observations and opinions about her

loveactually9 wrote:I don't see why the producers would feel compelled to promise her anything. If it wasn't her, they could've gotten another former contestant to come back on. The way I see it, Becca WANTS to come back on, be it for Ben or promotion or some of both..but I doubt she's being paid by TPTB

If I was a contestant going on the show a second time I wouldn't do it if there wasn't some type of financial compensation.  The show is going to get more buzz/ratings with a former contestant in the mix  JMO

In all the years, I've never heard that they paid a contestant. I don't think the F1 gets any compensation either. I know Ed didn't.

If they paid her, they are wasting their money IMO. What is the big deal about Becca returning. It's no different than any other returnee.