Becca Tilley - Bachelor 19 - Discussion - #9

mysthelma wrote:It's really a shame that most of these crop of young 20 something ladies that have recently been on the show don't seem to care about having a college education, and real jobs.... We are subjected to the wanna be models, actress, lifestyle and fashion bloggers, and the free spirits.... But I guess the show is a better fit for such contestants who are looking to capitalise on sm following and fame to build their brands and jump start some sort of a reality TV career..

People with real jobs and education don't have time to go on reality TV .

For some time I didn't know how to verbalize what I like about people (and what really draws me to certain characters from these shows) ... until a recent contestant spoke about what attracts her ... The Passion. Bingo! There's the right answer. It's the passion what I find the most attractive quality in people and it's what makes them appealing to me, even when they don't look like supermodels and even when they talk BS and do **** and make a fool out of themselves. If they do it with a clear purpose to follow whatever they are passionate about ... and if by any chance, their passion is correlated to mine ... it's a match (and if it's not, at least I appreciate the attempt and dedication they put to reach their goals)

I haven't felt the need to post in Becca's thread since her season ended, because there was nothing that I've read here (since I don't attentively follow the SM) that would indicate her being passionate about something worth "fighting" for, working on or sweat upon.
Maybe some of you are right and she lacks the purpose, the ambition (and ambition is not always to become famous, but it may be a side-product of the activity some undertake), maybe she lacks the knowledge (and the university degree is not the only place to get it), maybe she lacks the character, IDK, I only know that her post-show presence hasn't left any remarkable impression for me to be excited about.

The fact that the rumor about her joining the new season of TB is getting legs and is very plausible ... contrarily, doesn't make me frown upon. It might turn out to be the first thing since her last stint that Becca finally shows more grit and determination for something ... whatever that is.
We'll see ... actually you'll tell me, since I'm not much passionate about the new season to follow.

I will admit that some of her SM activity has lacked maturity. But, I think she is passionate about her Christianity and her family - which makes me like her.
IMO, we will see more of her personality if she stays around...and I think she will be around unless Ben finds someone that rocks his world.
I would love to see her fall in love for the first time. It would be a great story.

happygolucky wrote:For some time I didn't know how to verbalize what I like about people (and what really draws me to certain characters from these shows) ... until a recent contestant spoke about what attracts her ... The Passion. Bingo! There's the right answer. It's the passion what I find the most attractive quality in people and it's what makes them appealing to me, even when they don't look like supermodels and even when they talk BS and do **** and make a fool out of themselves. If they do it with a clear purpose to follow whatever they are passionate about ... and if by any chance, their passion is correlated to mine ... it's a match (and if it's not, at least I appreciate the attempt and dedication they put to reach their goals)

I haven't felt the need to post in Becca's thread since her season ended, because there was nothing that I've read here (since I don't attentively follow the SM) that would indicate her being passionate about something worth "fighting" for, working on or sweat upon.
Maybe some of you are right and she lacks the purpose, the ambition (and ambition is not always to become famous, but it may be a side-product of the activity some undertake), maybe she lacks the knowledge (and the university degree is not the only place to get it), maybe she lacks the character, IDK, I only know that her post-show presence hasn't left any remarkable impression for me to be excited about.

The fact that the rumor about her joining the new season of TB is getting legs and is very plausible ... contrarily, doesn't make me frown upon. It might turn out to be the first thing since her last stint that Becca finally shows more grit and determination for something ... whatever that is.
We'll see ... actually you'll tell me, since I'm not much passionate about the new season to follow.

Oh, she's on it alright. I'm confident that RS or a tabloid will mention her being one of the contestants by the end of the week. It will get out. The girls who get booted night 1 will talk. They will e-mail a tabloid or RS. They always do. As for the second bolded, I agree. We will see her more determined than the show portrayed her to be. Why? Because she wants Ben.

From what I have been told by a person close to casting, I don't see Ben picking Becca. Not with some of the girls that are going to be on this season. There are some really good ones.

@RammerJammer91 oh I believe you, no need for RS to confirm, I much rather hear it from you, just that I called it a rumor since there is no official confirmation on ABC and the show hasn't started. But even when RS "spoils" it's just a rumor to me, when it concerns him. Thanks for using your connections to "help" this forum have something to think/sleuth about.

@BowenAnderson ... when I said people "passionate" about something I mean something aside from their nuclear family ... something that requires work, dedication, time, practice, study, effort and is contributing to person's life, no matter how small the contribution is ... it can be some a religious nature, but then that would mean partaking in the study groups, volunteering, promoting your belief system (with whatever means there are), lending a hand in the same religious community, missionary work, ... I don't know if Becca has been that vocal and participating, or at least I haven't seen that brought up in her thread.

I can't hold anyone's lack of ambition against them. Some people are born with it, some aren't. I fall into the latter category really, even though I've graduated university. I'm just not ambitious, never was and it's not something you can force. You're either motivated by achievements or you aren't. Becca seems like the type who'd rather just live an easy life and enjoy the little things in it. I see nothing wrong with that personally, it's her life. She probably hopes to be a stay-at-home mom in the future anyway, so why should she be pursuing a career she doesn't want? I can see how that makes her uninteresting to follow, but I don't see it as a fault in any way. I think people's character matters more than their achievements and passions. Maybe she just hasn't discovered hers yet? People who know what they want early on and can pursue it with passion don't know how lucky they are. I would take that over floundering and uncertainty any day!

@mindless, probably you're right, the lack of career might be why she's not interesting to me. But being passionate about something doesn't have to be all about the career and monetary choice. It can also be a hobby, a side project on your own, ... and maybe that's the key, that she hasn't found hers yet. I don't say it's her fault and I definitely don't hold it against her (I was a "late bloomer" too, so i get it)... it only explained why I personally am not impressed by her to write about her or follow her.
But since her name is in the "news" again and soon there will be more to talk about, I'm trying to see the positive in her newest adventure ... and maybe this second stint will incite some new chapter in her life, maybe the one of finding her "calling" or simply freeing herself.

I think that Becca does have passions, like going to concerts and fashion and sports and Church. It's just that it comes off as materialistic and shallow in the little we know of her. She is very well-liked and i always remember that she was one of the first to show compassion towards Julia as she told the girls about her ex-husband and she was the one who threatened to block anyone who spoke negatively about Whitney. She's a good friend and I think she's probably a lot more interesting and fun than we think.

mindless wrote: I think people's character matters more than their achievements and passions.

Spot on, statement! I absolutely agree.

Clearly I didn't explained myself correctly. The passion for something in terms of work/effort is something completely different than the passion for things you do in your "spare time" out of fun with no particular consequence.

I observe what people are passionate about and what they dedicate their time to ... and that requires work, dedication and also the struggle, because not everything goes smoothly, or as planned and not always all doors are open to them. So people have to make an extra effort to prove themselves. Sometimes the passionate work is not their primary job, that pays bills, but it's something they're trying to built upon ... maybe never truly making it, but the time and love they put into it is what makes me respect the person who tries and doesn't give up. The passion doesn't necessarily lead into a career, that I guess would be ideal, but more often than not it's not the case of where the money comes in, but what and how you do it, to make the ends meet and how much you enrich your life and lives around you in the meantime.

Going out with friends, spending time with your family ... that's all good, but it's not the project that will ever cause you to struggle and challenge you, throw you out of the comfort zone, unless your family and friends push you to.

AllAboutLove wrote:

mindless wrote: I think people's character matters more than their achievements and passions.  

Spot on, statement! I absolutely agree.

Well, I guess that's where our point of views may differ. I think personal achievements and what we are passionate about define our character. The achievement itself is subjective, for some it may be raising a family, for some other a lucrative career, for someone else the opportunity to help some less-fortunate soul, or travel the world, for another to have graduated, for one it would mean as small as being able to take care of a plant for more than a year (I can't keep a flower alive, only ever-greens). And often people are successful regarding their passions because of their character. And success is subjective again. So all are correlated. One speaks about the other.

happygolucky wrote:

AllAboutLove wrote:

mindless wrote: I think people's character matters more than their achievements and passions.  

Spot on, statement! I absolutely agree.

Well, I guess that's where our point of views may differ. I think personal achievements and what we are passionate about define our character. The achievement itself is subjective, for some it may be raising a family, for some other a lucrative career, for someone else the opportunity to help some less-fortunate soul, or travel the world, for another to have graduated, for one it would mean as small as being able to take care of a plant for more than a year (I can't keep a flower alive, only ever-greens). And often people are successful regarding their passions because of their character. And success is subjective again. So all are correlated. One speaks about the other.

I agree with this. I also think our character plays a role in what we choose to pursue and be passionate about so it goes both ways.