The Bachelorette 11 - Kaitlyn Bristowe - Britt Nilsson - Edit Analysis - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

Soooo.... we finally got our answer!

Kait was introduced to Little Nick after all.

It was all quite funny how fast he got his clothes back on, including tie, after their behind-the-door moment last week. What I wonder is if there is more to this story... like... oh let's say... when they "did it". Of course, The Script says "on their date", but maybe they did more than just tweet each other online pre-show?

Oh well. Doesn't matter. The Deed Was Done. The bottom line is that they haven't left the Emerald Isle yet. Why bother? Most of the action this season happens behind closed doors anyway, not in the scenic tourist traps. Later, on Nick's date, Kaitlyn has trouble understanding the language of the fellow pub patrons, so she just sticks to the one language she understands... the language of whoopee.

Last episode was all about things being hard. This episode is all about things getting harder. Fortunately the next solo date that Kaitlyn has planned involves a SOFT-ware specialist.

At Innisfallen Island, Ben decides that they will "play around".

This, as we all know, is the code-word for something down and dirty... a game of hide and seek. Ooooooh! Better close my eyes!

When he asks her what she seeks in a husband, she responds "I'm all about the little things". You see... although Kait tells him that she's "falling in love" with him, it is very important to ask him THE Question that has been bugging her ever since he focused on the 70 year old instead of her at the Texas square dance: "Are you a virgin?" It is important that he has been "broken in" by a previous woman. (If Shawn gets her at the end of this, he can be confident that Nick "broke in" her too.) At first, Ben stops to think of Madonna's old '80s song (popular when he was in diapers no doubt) and figures that this word must mean "touched for the very first time". He confidently tells her "no". Kait then sighs a sign of relief that her upcoming episodes won't be as prolonged as Prince Farming's were with previous virgin Becca.

Unlike Cupcake last week, Ben keeps saying that his biggest fear is rejection. As long as the editors include three repeats of "rejection" and Ben consistently says he will "put myself out there regardless", he will be spared at least one more episode and not tossed off the Irish cliffs. Also it helps that he says he is "falling in love" with the girl he has had two boring TV show dates with. At some point, he discusses his past relationship with her and this is a sign for me to hit the bathroom, since these talks are completely pointless to The Storyline.

A do or die group date

Joe was in a "do or die" mood. How many times have we heard those words before? He gets quite frisky with her. I will give him this: his sit-down was the most entertaining on that date, even as he gets dumped right away (a.k.a. Kait's "we're not on the same page", "I don't think I am right there right now" and every other lah-dee-dah stock line recycled from previous seasons).

Now the moment we have all been waiting for...

Just as Ashley told Jay-Pee in Hong Kong that she initially had planned to elope to Salt Lake City with Bentley, Kaitlyn feels she must be honest with Shawn. During their alone time, we get this conversation regarding Nick:

Kait: "We had sex".
Shawn: "Was it good?"

Well... that is NOT what Shawn really says. Yet the way he looks up as if analyzing the situation, it seemed like he was not certain of Nick's... um... capabilities. Also HER look was pretty odd too.

Oh boy! Shawn had to go to the "Gents" Room right away! Had to gather his thoughts on the john. Then he agreed in a PI session that he will stay on the show! Oh yeah... despite still having a VERY HARD time with it. That's wuv, folks.

Surprisingly Jared got little action this episode.

*sniff sniff* He did get a tearful rose ceremony good bye. I was trying to remember who Jared reminded me of. Then  I realized, with his scruff growing in, that he is like a very young Jim Henson. Bet he does a knock-out Kermit the Frog impersonation.

Fantasy Dates... FINALLY!

Because Nick got a rose and another chance to Rock Her World, Shawn is getting furious. Why wouldn't he? Prepare for a showdown later.

Nick says at the start of his fantasy date: "This is a HUGE day." Yeah, Nick... we get it. As Kaitlyn told Ben, the "little things" matter, but nobody can dispute that how much you put out this season.

He also tells her that his parents met in a church. They are in a church when he says that, but actually we all know that he introduced himself to her online... and still MORE of himself in a hotel room. For her part, she says their relationship is "spiritual". This is because she had an out of body experience with him.

The two hang out in a prison (complete with wax figures and a wacky "bogus" jail cell suite) since these two have guilt written all over their faces. Nick chooses this time to rat out his biggest competitor, Shawn. We learn... if Nick is telling the truth... that Shawn once bragged about being an "Eskimo buddy" and also enjoying various "chicks" like some pop singer... or something along those lines. I did not re-watch this thing, so feel free to correct me. This makes me wonder if his bragging makes Kaitlyn question his motives and all of this Nick Sex Business is a "test of trust".

If I had to give an award to Best Line Anybody Used To Close A Fantasy Suite Door, it would go to Nick's (in PI) "Let's just get to it."

Curiously... despite him having his shirt off over morning breakfast... we learn that the two pretty much just... talked... this time. (Maybe each contestant was only allowed one trip to the pharmacy?)

Now... for the Battle Of The Stags, antler to antler

... although the actual deer were on Ben's island getaway... and looked like does (or, as they are called in the UK, "hinds")

Shawn needs to pay Nick a visit to have a talk of his own (but with his shirt on). He thinks Nick is not here for the right reasons, out to improve his "damaged" image last season and even repeats a few words that Chris Soules told Nick in Belgium a year ago. (At least Shawn watched Andi's season carefully.) This evolves into our next "To Be Continued".

More boring Britt and Brady business over the end credits...

My favorite line was Britt saying she is not sure if she is "coming out". I guess she is discussing "geographically" in regards to meeting Brady, but I wonder what we may be seeing at the end of this season. Could Britt be hooking up with Kaitlyn and Brady hooking up with either Nick or Shawn? Maybe Nick and Kait's sex was just an experiment on the side?

^^^
JBF. You are brilliant! Thanks for the chuckle...chuckle....

Thanks for the support. The only way I can take this show seriously is by ridiculing it.

So much of it feels... well, surreal.

In the olden days when folks like Kaitlyn, Shawn and Nick talked and acted the way they do on TV, you expected one of them to also say either "Are we on Candid Camera?" or "Live! This is Saturday night!" The facial expressions on both K & S when the former discusses N ("we had sex") were... again, surreal. I expected S to be genuinely upset, but either sex is no big deal to him or he thinks this is a "script" they are following. Traditionally the editors don't get that "point blank" about the hanky panky. They want audiences to speculate "did they or didn't they".

For now, I am just accepting what I see on TV. She "had sex" with Nick. Yet a part of me does see the possibility of Shawn getting way too smug of his standing on the show (somewhat like JP was about Ashley before Ben Flajnik had his "overnight" in Taiwan) and Kaitlyn decided to tell him a Little White Lie to lower his confidence and make him be less certain of their relationship. That is what PRODUCTION wants at least. Note too how, pre-Nick Affair, she fussed about giving Shawn too much... *drink!*... reassurance.

We all first "met" Nick on a "leaked" video set on an airplane (presented by Yee Spoiler King). Although it looked subject to much editing (being presented in two parts), he never once mentioned "making love" with Andi just as he disclosed on ATFR. Instead he mentions getting along well with her folks, some comments of confidence she gave him and the prospect of seeing her post-show hanging out at K-Mart (which suggested more of a boy-pal/gal-pal relationship than a hot and heavy lovers relationship). He was also criticizing the always sleeping and s**ting Josh. Now... I never thought of Josh as the type who did not socialize, as Nick insinuated here, since we saw him buddy-ing a lot with other guys on screen such as JJ and Marcus. This makes me wonder if Nick was discussing the more reserved and more moderately sociable Chris Soules (possibly) in the running for the Bachelor gig over him instead and we were simply assuming he was discussing the F1 guy. All of this is just speculation on my part since that video was so jumbled and confusing. Also I do not want to make the Nick fans upset by suggesting he may not have "fallen in love", but we all know about this show and how the contestants must think of other options when not The Chosen One.

(Key storypoint contrast that season: Nick was accused of being "dishonest" by Marcus, Brian, Cody and Chris. In contrast, Chris Soules got all of his answers right on the lie detector test that Nick did not take.)

Now... I am assuming that Kaitlyn saw Andi's full season on TV (since she was familiar with Chris Soules out of the limo) and should be well aware of Nick accusing Andi of "making love" in front of a live audience. This raises the question of why she decides to get behind the hotel door with him weeks before fantasy date time. Also she ONLY tells Shawn on screen that she and Nick "had sex" (since "making love" is less specific). One easy answer would be her strong desire to have sex with Nick and thinking this is no big deal, yet making sure Shawn knows well ahead of time instead of finding out on ATFR.

Somehow, though, the puzzle pieces are still not fitting so easily here.

Add to this curious situation is the fact that Nick has yet to disclose in any private interview or with other guys or with Kaitlyn on screen that "anything" happened other than the standard TV enhanced romantic moment. I would think Nick would look at her in a different way after sharing bodily fluids with her... and even be massaging her, touching her more and so forth on screen. (Ashley and JP were really groping each other post-Hong Kong.) I am not saying that these two did not do what she told Shawn, but it does play off very strangely on TV from a body language angle. Maybe my problem is that past shows of this series and others like Big Brother that involved (alleged) sex displayed different behavior among the contestants than this... and I am not sure exactly how people are supposed to "behave" in front of cameras anymore.

It still amused me how we had a group date, pre-Nick and not involving Shawn, in which a group of guys were required to discuss sex/making-love for a bunch of professional actors posing as middle school students. The whole set-up was clearly pre-planned with a purpose in mind.

Also Ian accusing her of "making out with a bunch of dudes", but "not questioning his (Nick's) intentions" the week before The Irish Rendezvous. Don't get me started on Ian's camera conscious behavior in all of his PI sessions. That guy was clearly being handing SOME dialogue to say by SOMEBODY.

None of this rrrreeeeeaaaallly matters. Just that I tend to view this as TV drama rather than TV reality. Amazing how many guys "fell in love" with Kaitlyn, including Ben and dumped Joe and Jared. Talk about living in the Bachelorette Bubble.

I dunno... any other thoughts here?

Really interesting points, JBF. Thanks!

Ha ha! If nothing else, this potentially scripted (note I say potentially) Monday night fodder at least has us discussing all of the "polarizing" subjects on this forum... namely, the pleasures-of-the-flesh. I enjoy reading the different opinions. Some of us think that sex is a biological necessity like eating and the object of the game is to find a willing partner who is advertizing on craigslist's personals and is "disease free". Some of us are more "traditional", expecting to be "wedded before bedded". No clue what to make with the Bachelor/ette contestants, but at least Fleiss & Co. insists everybody gets blood tests.

JBF- I laughed out loud when reading your statement that Ben paid more attention to the 70 year old at the square dance than he did Kaitlyn!! You're right!!I also agree with you that most of the guys seemed to be in the bubble and I'm not sure how many (if any) were really interested in Kaitlyn in reality, besides Shawn. And I agree that Ian was seriously prodded to make those statements but I think that he was goaded into some serious anger before he sounded off to Kaitlyn....I also agreed with his statements completely. True, it was in keeping with the sexual theme of the season I was really apalled by the grade school kids and the sex education- they really didn't need to stoop that low. I really am struggling this season because I can't get behind Kaitlyn, Shawn or Nick, but I really enjoyed reading all of your thoughts.

The rutting season continues...

Sometimes I think I am watching Animal Planet. That is, during the times that network gets frisky in their programming. It doesn't matter how cute the horses, asses and lambs look in this episode. They are all up to something-something.

With all due respect (Nick's favorite phrase)... we continue where we left off last week: Nick and Shawn continue their verbal dispute that isn't much of a dispute. Kinda ends as a draw. My guess is that they made up behind closed doors. Only Kaitlyn and we "Fleissed" TV viewers have to wait to find out at the end of the season.

Meanwhile, Ben is Kait's "calming" influence.

This date was... well, calm. Did anything happen? Oh yeah. The two were... um, horsing around.

While Kait is falling in love with Ben, Ben is falling harder and harder. With these words, Kait is hopeful that she will wake up in the morning knowing that the soft-ware salesman will be her husband. As Jimmy Cliff used to sing, the harder they come, the harder they fall. Ben anticipates the best "sleepover" ever.

The next morning, she tells us that she's "more confused than ever".

Next, Shawn chases his little balls all over the golf course...

I thought I would fall asleep during this date. It started out even more boring than Ben's (if that is possible).

Yet Kait got him to strip naked before fantasy overnight time. This is so unfair. Remember how she also wore her black leotards in her sumo "diaper" while all of the guys, including Shawn, were forced to expose their unmentionables in theirs? Kait apparently loves watching porn videos of fully clothed women humiliating naked men... the ultimate feminist revenge fantasy.

Nonetheless Shawn says he had fun. He and Kait are in an "awesome spot"... until she brings up Nick, his battlin' bro-buddy. He then reveals his meet-up with Nick after his fantasy date (a.k.a. "Um... Kaitlyn, I don't know how to tell you this, but... Nick and I had sex too. Just kidding!"). He doesn't believe in ratting dudes behind their backs.

She tells us on camera that they need to discuss all of this Nick "jealousy" further off camera. Ooooohhhhh Kait, can't you be more romantic than that? At this point, I am throwing in the towel and assuming that Kaitlyn wants Shawn the most when he is "jealous". Something about him being "jealous" brings out The Beast in him... and Kaitlyn wants to play Belle.

After the overnight, Shawn is shown storming down the stairs and Kait sports the unsatisfied look on her face. Rrrriiiiggghhht. Those goofy editors!

Out in the Irish greenery, Nick stands outside his mini-house eager to continue his bro-buddying with Shawn. However Shawn has a headache after satisfying Kaitlyn's verocious appetite. (She had hoped her overnight with Shawn would be "huge", after all.) After much deliberation, he reluctantly allows Nick back into his villa so they can verbally "dispute" some more for the cameras so that the editors have more of a "story" than just Kait telling an eye-rolling Shawn that "we had sex".

Now, before our "dramatic" rose ceremony...

...we get Mister Harrison in another boring sitdown with Little Red Riding Hood. She discloses to him that her ultimate fantasy is watching Nick and Shawn wrestle all over the golf course buck-naked... and the winner carrying her back to his lair. Harrison, however, tells her that they will be airing this episode during Family Hour, so she instead discusses how much of a husband she thinks Ben will make instead.

Because they fought each other and forgot what time it was, BOTH Nick and Shawn now look like Grizzly Adams in all of their scruff. Only Ben remembered to shave, since he is the third wheel of this show anyway and has too much time on his hands. The editors are quite cute to insert all of Kaitlyn's talk of "finding my husband" over shots of a gulping Ben standing in his line-up. Of course, you know they are picking our brains.

She takes time out to sob... and then promote Ben as a worthy Bachelor for next season.

Ben tells us: "I'll miss that girl. I'll miss her a lot." Also: "I was definitely changed by Kaitlyn." (In what way? Touched for the very first time?)

As Ben leaves in his limo, we get Quiet Time with the other two dudes... much like Juan Pablo's Top Two Ladies. (One of them, Clare, got commercial teasing in Bachelor In Paradise promos... sobbing to the raccoon about her spider bite.)

Meeting the boys' folks in Utah: Will match-maker Kait bring them back together? Ooops! I guess I am thinking this show is different.

Awww... remember when Nick told Brian that he would marry Andi on a mountain top? Maybe he will get his wish high in the Rockies.

*sniff sniff* Only HIS family doesn't think so. They are all expecting him to get heartbroken... AGAIN!!!! Twice, sister Maria mentions the key word "blindsided". Too bad The Dawg didn't make it. Just about everybody else in The Family did, including the one Little Brother who looks just like Big Brother, but without his whiskers.

When talking to Nick's real bros (as apposed to Shawn, his sparring bro), Kaitlyn rams her foot in her mouth repeatedly by saying she and Nick are enjoying "being in the moment". (Hardly the line you expect for longterm marriage. Desie used "being in the moment" constantly with Brooks during her season.)

Alone with mommy Mary, Nick tells her that he enjoys "making out" with Kaitlyn. Oh Nick. Is that ALL you did with her? Kait apparently thinks a LOT more happened... or so she wanted Shawn to think so.

Nick to Kait: "I love you"
Kait: "Promise?"
(Yup... Neil Lane is expecting both guys properly brainwashed.)

Nick is an a** man, while Shawn is a... um, "center-region" man. Watching how each guy massages her as her legs prop over his is quite... interesting.

Shawn values his sisters' opinions more than anybody else in the world. The trouble is... he also values his dad's opinion more than anybody else in the world. Daddy is more skeptical than the women. Yet Shawn insists that "I'm a-following mah heart", so Daddy gives his blessing.

Body language-wise, Kait definitely looks more "gooey" with Shawn in these moments than Nick. Also I noticed a LOT more lop and chop by the editors. Many scenes with her talking to the sisters had VERY bad dubbing and her head turned so we can not see her talk.

Obviously... she ends this episode split between the two final guys.

Um... whatever.

Another week of Men Tell Nothing before the grand finale of "Will Shawn stay jealous long enough to keep Kaitlyn satisfied?" Or will Ben on MTN have to tell All Of America that Kait "made love to me and told ME that I was The ONLY ONE before dumping me"?

Yeah, both being brainwashed and picking out Neil Lane rings is going to be hard to watch....nice post JBF.

You can tell that I can't wait for this silly season to end.

I mean... I've always enjoyed watching Nick on TV. He was a total riot on Andi's season. Here, he looks bored and distracted. Even though Kait told Shawn... and "All of America"... that "we had sex", both she and Nick didn't look all that "into" each other in the Meet His Family segment. (Then again, Shawn hardly batted an eye when he was first informed. He just had to take a dump in the Gents Room.)

When she keeps discussing Nick with Shawn over and over and over, I am reminded of the sitcom "plot" of the wife telling her husband she's having an affair just to distract him from all of his sports watching on TV. I think she WANTS Shawn to be "jealous" simply to light a fire under his butt... and it isn't working very well. The "disputes" between Shawn and Nick resemble that of annoyed neighbors fussing over a lawn mower. Shawn's "I don't want to talk to you" business with Nick looked like simple annoyance that Nick didn't put Kait back in the garage after he is done borrowing her.

(Note: While I ridicule Shawn a lot for being rather dull on screen, I do think he will make The Perfect Low-Key Husband. It won't matter how many flat tires, "F"s on Little Johnny's report card, broken cell phones, plumbing that need fixed or emotional breakdowns that Mrs. Booth has, he will probably put up with ANYTHING that life dishes out. We can even say that he will be Kait's... rock of Gibraltar. This silly TV show is just a test to see how much he can deal with.)

I couldn't stop laughing through all of her "in the moment" talk with Nick's brothers. Also both sis and mom insisting that Nick will get heartbroken again. I tell yah... if I didn't know any better, I would think they are setting Nick up as a "will the third time be the charm?" Bachelor. As much as Ben Zzzzz is well liked here and Jared, Cupcake and Ben H. look like model boy-toys, Nick is the only one I would watch next season. Despite being boring THIS season, he could recharge his batteries and once again be a laugh-fest as the lead, just as he was in Andi's.

I want the OLD Nick back. Who cares what ladies get cast? He is (or was,in Andi's season) Mister Personality.

^^^   JBF

Great post JBF- you had me laughing out loud.

JBF wrote:I couldn't stop laughing through all of her "in the moment" talk with Nick's brothers. Also both sis and mom insisting that Nick will get heartbroken again. I tell yah... if I didn't know any better, I would think they are setting Nick up as a "will the third time be the charm?" Bachelor. As much as Ben Zzzzz is well liked here and Jared, Cupcake and Ben H. look like model boy-toys, Nick is the only one I would watch next season. Despite being boring THIS season, he could recharge his batteries and once again be a laugh-fest as the lead, just as he was in Andi's.

I want the OLD Nick back. Who cares what ladies get cast? He is (or was,in Andi's season) Mister Personality.

ITA agree! As much as I like the other guys I think it will just be the same old same old if they are lead. I would watch if Nick is lead and am sure even those who say they won't will do so as well. Even Nick being boring this season still brought in the ratings.