Bachelor 19 - Chris Soules - Discussion - #2

JBF, I haven't talked to you all season! Now that your girl Kaitlyn is gone, (hopefully to return as the next Bachelorette) who is your pick for f1?

Ooof! For me, it is between Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

May the best gal win!

It "appears" as if Becca is a "hidden" F1, but... I really can't say with any certainty anymore.

One thing... they had better not edit next season like this one. We have one finalist who was Find Waldo much of the season (a.k.a. no "story" apart from being a virgin) and the other can't stop talking wedding bells in every PI session. How can you decide between these two?

Yeah. I miss Kaitlyn.

JBF wrote:Ooof! For me, it is between Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

May the best gal win!

It "appears" as if Becca is a "hidden" F1, but... I really can't say with any certainty anymore.

One thing... they had better not edit next season like this one. We have one finalist who was Find Waldo much of the season (a.k.a. no "story" apart from being a virgin) and the other can't stop talking wedding bells in every PI session. How can you decide between these two?

Yeah. I miss Kaitlyn.

Kaitlyn's so great, she added so much humor to this show. I really hope she's the next Bachelorette, I have zippo desire to watch Britt. Though Ashley S would be a hoot!

I'm sticking with Whitney, this season. I'm always thinking it's the "hidden" one (ala: Reid, Chris L, Chirs S etc...) Thank goodness only a week and a half left and we'll know!

One reason I picked Jade for Bachelorette is because they could bill her season "Who will tame the wild mustang?" Also it would be fun to see how many guys her season will admit to her face that they "took a peep" at her online.

I just rewatched the limo entrances (not fun, must have been 30 commercials) and I totally forgot about Kaitlyns plow the field and the Tupperware jokes!!!

IrishGal wrote:What does playing the game of "options" mean?  I'm sorry but I really have no clue. Same with "reading these people".  I honestly can't imagine. 

sorry Irish for confusing you. It doesn't mean anything more than that, but to explain: I use quotation marks  sometimes as air-quotes or sometimes when I simply don't know how else to describe smth.
Game of options - it's what I would call my way of imagining possible outcomes, changing fictitious edit, storylines... as for reading people ... I don't know any of the participants, I can only observe so much of what it's shown to us, but I do like to understand their motives for behaving/acting the way they do, so I always question the reasons behind their decisions/opinions/preferences that they show... nothing more.


Interesting JBF about the charts ...

because that's the exact vibe I'm getting while watching these 2 different relationships:

I've read somewhere here (not this thread, but can't remember which one) that Whitney and Chris are compatible because of their opposite energies, since she is very energetic and he isn't. But that's not how I perceive Chris. To me he is just as energetic and it was shown on numerous occasions that his "energy" level fluctuates (energy in the sense: his mood, his interest, his positive-negative attitude, demeanor, his confidence...) ...

because of that I feel like Whitney in certain moments can be a provoker/instigator (not intentionally) and rather than balancing him, she is adding to his "energy" ... if it's negative, it only goes lower, if it's positive it happens to go encouraging higher. And to me that means that things can be just fine, as long they can communicate and express themselves when problems occur.

But I see that Chris is not the kind of person who opens up and speaks up when the waters get rough, he doesn't like conflict and because he is an emotional talker, when he gets agitated he can't communicate freely and coherently, he often prefers to back away from discussing issues that bother him. And that is a problem alert in my book.

Becca (for that little that I've observed) has more calming energy. So maybe that's the reason I see Chris more free and confident to express himself when he's with her. And I would go as far and say, that she could be the right person to steer his ship back, when he would escape in his deep thoughts.

happygolucky wrote:

IrishGal wrote:What does playing the game of "options" mean?  I'm sorry but I really have no clue. Same with "reading these people".  I honestly can't imagine. 

sorry Irish for confusing you. It doesn't mean anything more than that, but to explain: I use quotation marks  sometimes as air-quotes or sometimes when I simply don't know how else to describe smth.
Game of options - it's what I would call my way of imagining possible outcomes, changing fictitious edit, storylines... as for reading people ... I don't know any of the participants, I can only observe so much of what it's shown to us, but I do like to understand their motives for behaving/acting the way they do, so I always question the reasons behind their decisions/opinions/preferences that they show... nothing more.


Interesting JBF about the charts ...

because that's the exact vibe I'm getting while watching these 2 different relationships:

I've read somewhere here (not this thread, but can't remember which one) that Whitney and Chris are compatible because of their opposite energies, since she is very energetic and he isn't. But that's not how I perceive Chris. To me he is just as energetic and it was shown on numerous occasions that his "energy" level fluctuates (energy in the sense: his mood, his interest, his positive-negative attitude, demeanor, his confidence...) ...

because of that I feel like Whitney in certain moments can be a provoker/instigator (not intentionally) and rather than balancing him, she is adding to his "energy" ... if it's negative, it only goes lower, if it's positive it happens to go encouraging higher. And to me that means that things can be just fine, as long they can communicate and express themselves when problems occur.

But I see that Chris is not the kind of person who opens up and speaks up when the waters get rough, he doesn't like conflict and because he is an emotional talker, when he gets agitated he can't communicate freely and coherently, he often prefers to back away from discussing issues that bother him. And that is a problem alert in my book.

Becca (for that little that I've observed) has more calming energy. So maybe that's the reason I see Chris more free and confident to express himself when he's with her. And I would go as far and say, that she could be the right person to steer his ship back, when he would escape in his deep thoughts.

I completely agree with this post.This is how I see it but have not been able to articulate my thoughts. Thanks!!

JBF wrote:One reason I picked Jade for Bachelorette is because they could bill her season "Who will tame the wild mustang?" Also it would be fun to see how many guys her season will admit to her face that they "took a peep" at her online.

great point and it would be interesting, no doubt.

I wish for Kaitlyn to get the gig - if she wants that. I would watch the guys anyway, but it's good to have a lead that I actually like and we all know she's no angel, so it would definitely be a polarizing season all over again.

Sparkler I rarely express myself good enough to be understood, so I thank you.

Imwould prefer Jade as well. Everyone now knows about the pictures so they come in knowing they have to deal with that. I like Kaithlyn but i cant see a lot of appeal for the male specie in her. Yes she is funny and crude with her speech..and then what?

Jade a small town girl who made an error in judgement with the pictures and yet has managed to turn her life around with her own cosmetics company has a better appeal. IMO

I am not sure where to post this, so went with a general, general discussion thread. I said this for Andi's season and felt this way about Sean and Des too and now feel it for Chris too.

The bubble is a crazy, designed to make you fall in love fast with more than one person. So to me the lead having strong "feelings" for more than one person isn't shocking or even bad. It is to be expected. And to me it doesn't take away from the feelings they have for their eventual F1, if anything to me it is a bigger compliment to F1, then them not feeling anything for anyone else at all.

If there is a really great other, someone else who made them feel and was awesome, but at the end they wanted, needed or just plain really loved or liked someone else more that is fantastic.

Seriously, to me the fact that someone else was really, really good and hard to chose from at the end makes them picking me more fantastic. I was so wonderful that in the end they chose me over something else really good? That is a huge compliment.

The real relationship begins after the show, the time during the show is dating on steroids. To me surviving it with something worth building on is a real accomplishment.

So just like Sean's feelings for Lindsey didn't take away from what he felt with Cat, Des's Brooks love/fascination in no way hurt her and Chris and honestly the fact that Nick and Andi had such a great connection during the show, just made her picking Josh that much more significant, whoever Chris picks should feel honored that with someone else he cared so much about at the end of the day he chose her should mean a lot. She wasn't a fall back or a default or anything else. At the end of the day with two great choices, she was the one he really, really wanted. That to me means more than all the fake words, bubble feelings in the world. Given more than one great option, at the end it was you. That to me is a real basis to build love on.

stuckinsc wrote:I am not sure where to post this, so went with a general, general discussion thread.  I said this for Andi's season and felt this way about Sean and Des too and now feel it for Chris too.

The bubble is a crazy, designed to make you fall in love fast with more than one person.  So to me the lead having strong "feelings" for more than one person isn't shocking or even bad.  It is to be expected.  And to me it doesn't take away from the feelings they have for their eventual F1, if anything to me it is a bigger compliment to F1, then them not feeling anything for anyone else at all.

If there is a really great other, someone else who made them feel and was awesome, but at the end they wanted, needed or just plain really loved or liked someone else more that is fantastic.

Seriously, to me the fact that someone else was really, really good and hard to chose from at the end makes them picking me more fantastic.  I was so wonderful that in the end they chose me over something else really good?  That is a huge compliment.

The real relationship begins after the show, the time during the show is dating on steroids.  To me surviving it with something worth building on is a real accomplishment.

So just like Sean's feelings for Lindsey didn't take away from what he felt with Cat, Des's Brooks love/fascination in no way hurt her and Chris and honestly the fact that Nick and Andi had such a great connection during the show, just made her picking Josh that much more significant, whoever Chris picks should feel honored that with someone else he cared so much about at the end of the day he chose her should mean a lot.  She wasn't a fall back or a default or anything else.  At the end of the day with two great choices, she was the one he really, really wanted. That to me means more than all the fake words, bubble feelings in the world.  Given more than one great option, at the end it was you.  That to me is a real basis to build love on.

I agree with you Stuck - in general
I honestly believe that the "love" felt for F1 and F2 isn't on the same level - ever.
Like you said, everything is on the steroids, amplified, so I get that the lead is confused, because I bet he is told by TPTB things that make him question, doubt and fear and during the whole process doesn't have much time for himself (alone, without some commitment to promote, shoot, travel, ...) so probably the whole journey is arranged that way, that the lead finally gets the time to sort his&her thoughts only at the very end before having to choose.
In that confusion I believe.
But I doubt that deep inside he is confused who is making his "blood" warm.
In this particular season, I'm pretty convinced he knew, he felt it, but maybe didn't know how to define it, where to put it and how to act upon the realization.
Watching Des' season (almost year later after being aired and knowing the finale) I also noticed she knew about Chris, but too much "noise" put her in confusion.
(don't know about other seasons ... oh yeah, Andi - she knew "from the start" - period)

I think most leads have to deal with A) perfect attributes that they always said or thought they want in their partner and B) a person who just IS, but there are millions of questions and unknowns ... so only after the FRC when real "relationship" begins, the true process of finding out starts.