Re: Episode 11 - 8/1 Finale - Discussion - Thread #1

[ironcat]

: Did anyone else notice how at the F2 "RC" toast it appeared Ashley was speaking only to Ben for a good deal of it? Could have been editing, I realize.... and/or her overcompensating and not wanting to make her preference of JP too obvious. But I did wonder if that was part of the reason Ben felt he had an edge....???

I'm not convinced Ben was "competing". I just tend to think he too got sucked up into some fairytale dreaming.... till the bubble burst. But I appear to be in the minority so I'll hush up now. :missspeak:

I sincerely hope you don't feel that you have to hush up. I want to hear the perspective of Ben fans. I am also trying to be respectful of your feelings, while still being able to give my thoughts. Some of us may feel differently after we finally see what happens at the FRC with our own eyes.

My sense of it was that Ben seemed confident for some time. I remember how he mentioned the HTD to Ashley and spoke as if it was a done deal that he would be given a rose that week. She told him that he sounded really confident. I think JP may have picked up on the confident vibe from Ben and that might have been one reason for his fear and insecurity. If you feel that you're the one and have it locked up, then that would explain why Ben seemed so unflappable and calm. We are used to seeing some anxiety as the season moves toward its inevitable ending. I wondered why Ben was such a sea of calm. Then there was JP, who had the chemistry and passion with Ashley that we all saw for ourselves. He was a bundle of nerves in Taipai. I think seeing Ben come back after being out overnight and observing his quiet calm and confidence, could only have made it worse for JP.

I know that it was said yesterday that some were blaming Ben for what happened at the FRC. I am certainly not blaming him in any way. All I am saying is that it might have helped if he considered the possibility that he wouldn't get picked. A little healthy doubt isn't a bad thing, especially with this show. I don't know if it's entirely possible prepare yourself for the FRC. However, if you have some nerves and apprehension, then maybe that helps to absorb the shock. I still remember Trista's season, where Charlie was brimming with confidence and Ryan was a nervous wreck. I find it hard to believe that Ben didn't at least consider at some point that Ashley might pick JP.

Something else that may have given Ben so much confidence was the fact that he spent more time with Ashley than JP did overall. Both of JP's 1-on-1 dates were in the evening and he didn't have any type of date with her in the 2nd episode, while Ben had a date every episode with both of his 1-on-1 dates starting during the day and one of them being overnight. The overnight date probably gave him the most confidence and he probably assumed Ashley had chosen him for that because she liked him the most, though we know the producers probably only chose him for that because he was JP's biggest competition and they probably had some idea of how he would react to it. I'm sure the producers also gave Ben a lot of reassurance and JP a lot of doubt, which probably explains why we have this mess going into the FRC.

Oh, ITA that the producers are responsible for setting this trainwreck in motion in more ways than one. They probably saw that Ben was very susceptible to believing their assurances that Ashley really was into him, which obviously made him more confident. And I also suspect that the producers are the ones who encouraged him to not let Ashley speak first, but to tell her how he felt and get down on that knee ASAP. They knew the result they were aiming for (2 proposals) and they got it.

Have to totally disagree that Ashley, already in love with another guy (she told JP she had been wanting to tell him for a long time how she felt, so she clearly knew by then, if it wasn't already obvious to us), and barely able to give Ben more than long pecks throughout the whole show, would EVER consider being intimate with him. Pavalygurl, you might forgive her, but I think it's JP that she'd be worried about, don't you? Even though she kept telling the camera how attractive she found Ben, she sure never acted on it in the least. So to go from that to having sex with him the night before she probably knew she WAS going to have sex with her future husband is, frankly, unfathomable to me.

[bluwavz]

HI pavalygurl. Agree to disagree. I don't think they were, but we'll never know. Playing the devil's advocate, if that's the case, and Ashley was only using the sexual compatibility as her final decision, then it was best with JP. I have more repsect for her and think she is realy a good girl. She pointed out "two beds, this is where we'll be sleeping', and I believe that's what she meant, and that's exactly what happened, not a producer line.

I checked back. There was only one bed in their FS, she never pointed out two. She pointed to the bed and said, "And this is really cool because this is where we're going to sleep, but it's open to the pool, too."

I'm not suggesting they did anything, though.

[pavalygurl]

HI pavalygurl. Agree to disagree. I don't think they were, but we'll never know. Playing the devil's advocate, if that's the case, and Ashley was only using the sexual compatibility as her final decision, then it was best with JP. I have more repsect for her and think she is realy a good girl. She pointed out "two beds, this is where we'll be sleeping', and I believe that's what she meant, and that's exactly what happened, not a producer line.

Not sure it was sexual compatibility test although I think for many of us it is more compatible with someone we are "in love" with vs someone who we may "love".



I just think it could have been a sort of expression of her caring for him, but he of course would not know that.

[kdubs_ca]

Actually Chantal was not shocked at not being picked. She said she knew from the bright sun, she was going too early to the FRC and knew it was not her. She was deeply hurt and humiliated, but not shocked.

I guess I should have said that she was confident after the LCD, I do remember that she was enough of a student of the show to know she was too early for the FRC (like Bevin.) I was such a huge fan of hers last season (still am) and maybe it was all editing, but I was so hoping that she would be more in tune with Brad during that date. I say this all as just curiosity about what causes these bright, intelligent people to miss all the signs, unless it's all editing and they always know.

[Guest]

Ben sister is the one who applied for him, so he might not have watch the show so who knows and not a student of it. She sure took away his first proposal oh what a game!

[pavalygurl]

Ben sister is the one who applied for him, so he might not have watch the show so who knows and not a student of it. She sure took away his first proposal oh what a game!

That's another part of what makes me sad. But to paraphrase Ames, "love is complicated". I think Ben will recover and I hope his next proposal meets with better results.

[Guest]

deleted

[northernviewer]

Ben sister is the one who applied for him, so he might not have watch the show so who knows and not a student of it. She sure took away his first proposal oh what a game!

anybody that goes on a realty dating show without first checking it out, is nuts!! if he got blindsided due to ignorance, that would be his fault.

[pavalygurl]

I'm done discussing the sex life of people we don't even know. It's a new low for me, too, Alanna. Guess when all else fails, go for whatever to justify whatever.

Chantal is a member here and probably Ashley H. My apologies to both of you for inuendos, which are no one's business. Respect both of you, and you both did the best you could under the circumstances and acted with class and dignity.

Gina and Alana: no need for you to apologize for my behavior. If I have offended anyone, my apologies.

[Alanna]

Pav, I'm not offended, I just thought it's funny/weird/ridk to even consider. LOL.

[Guest]

No problem, pavalygurl. I think we all forget we have some very special members on this board who read

[Pattycake92]

Only people that know what happened in the fantasy suite are Ashley and Ben. Ashley is like honest Abe, I think she told JP everything and obviously he's ok with whatever it was. Like CL says, what happens in the FS stays in the FS!

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