Re: Episode 11 - 8/1 Finale - Discussion - Thread #1

[ironcat]

^there will be a clear difference in Ashley's demeanor when the fam meets JP vs when they meet Ben. Even if the whole season wasn't so obvious, it would be at that moment. Game over.

Did Ashley meet with Chrystie before she brought Ben to meet them? If so, I'm pretty sure that Ashley was still feeling very raw about her battle with her sister and that would affect her, she says she has no poker face. :Frown:

They have a sneak peak of Ashley talking to her sister on two occasions and she starts crying the minute Chrystie expresses her opinion about JP. That would give it away to me. I don't get why Chrystie was so gaga over Brad and he was 38 years old. JP is 4 years younger than that. What 'lifestyle' is JP living? The big city life? Did Ashley say she wanted to live/have kids in a more diverse environment? Do they even know what kind of life she wants?

Anyway, who is going to tell Ben it wasn't JPs east coast lifestyle that gave him the edge? LOL! I guess he hasn't really been watching the parts with her and JP or maybe he's a little dense.

I don't really get Chrystie or where she's coming from with the "handle" Ashley part? It seriously sounds like a sexual thing when I think about it. Anyway, IA that Ashley's demeanor gives everything away both times. She's basically saying "This is The One, Chrystie, chill, dawg."

I don't have any sisters but I do have some insanely close BFFs and we've definitely had reactions to each others choices in guys sometimes like, "Are you joking? He's never coming near you again! Stop smoking!" But if one of them started reacting like Ash, I would hope that I would take a step back and realize that something is up here. I'm glad she's Team Cupcake now though. I don't understand how one wouldn't be after watching this season.

As for Ben, I need to see it but it's utterly ridiculous to claim that JP was the "safe" choice. If he saw the season, he now knows that JP was the only choice. She was totally different with him and their interactions were on a completely different plane than any other relationship she had going on. I guess he's hurting (still?) so that's why he says it. I do love that it sounds like Ashley turns it around with "no, buddy, YOU were the safe choice." Although, I hate the whole "safe/head" versus "unsafe/heart" choice. Ugh. This isn't a rom-com or Sex and the City, but whatever.

I also wonder what Chrystie thought when she saw the "demure" JP going at it with her sister in the rain? :hearts love: :!:

Yeah, when she called JP "demure", which is a word I've only heard applied to young women, I thought, Chrystie, you are waaayyyy off track. She probably should have used the word "staid", but JP isn't that at all either. He was just nervous, respectful and on his best behavior to meet his future inlaws, just like his parents taught him. Well-mannered is not staid, or demure.

[agentcurls]

Ben might not see the Jash connection because he's in a little defense-mechanism-denial & he's still somewhat detatched.

When someone is finally able to break down all of Ben's walls, that person will be very lucky because I think there is definitely something amazing in there.

[agentcurls]

I also wonder what Chrystie thought when she saw the "demure" JP going at it wi th her sister in the rain? :hearts love: :!:

:bad girl: :cc2: :heygoodlooking

[MaggieMae]

The editing on this show leaves A LOT to be desired and things that don't fit into the storyline that MF and his minions have for the lead and each contestant aren't shown.



Chris L was very irritated with the way the show portrayed his mother's death and his reaction to it. The show made it seem like this was all he talked about. And poor Emily had the personality edited right out of her to support the "delicate Southern flower" storyline.



So I'm not surprised to find out that Ben has a very goofy, silly and fun side. Ashley made reference to it several times in her blogs but we didn't get to see it much because that didn't support his storyline.

[Guest]

So did Fleiss finally give us the love story and obvious pick because the sister was going to throw in a monkey wrench at the end and that would be this season's mystery? If that is the case I guess we should thank sis. Sorry if this has already been discussed. I admit I didn't go back and read the thread. I like Ben too. I think he will find someone great like CL did. Ben seems like a really nice guy.

[LibbyBell]

I didn't care about Ashley being the bachelorette, planned no investment on my part. Wasn't even sure I'd watch every Monday.

Bam, JP looking like a model, walks out of that limo.."no gimmicks, me and my smile"...then the cupcake story inside, he hooked me bigtime. I started to watch just to see him, still didn't give a dang about Ashley (at that time). Then when I saw her glow around JP and the connection (despite the smokescreen called BNB), I started to really like her, thought she was a sweet girl. And that only increased every week.

Now I totally adore this couple. I love more together than apart - if that makes any sense. I love that they are a 'we' now and the love is so in our face, they just cannot hide it.

This will be the best FRC and AFRC and media tour for me of any couple frome this show. I fell in love with them, while they were falling in love with each other. Best.Ending.Ever

ME TOO, Gina!!

Cheers~

[sjcaligurl]

I also wonder what Chrystie thought when she saw the "demure" JP going at it with her sister in the rain? :hearts love: :!:

I forgot about that! I don't think a "demure" guy would be bold enough to suggest a coin toss for a kiss to a woman he barely knows. I hope she covered her face when she saw that Phuket beach/rain footage. I would never be able to watch my sister in a scene like that. I almost had to cover my face and I don't even know them. LOL! I'm sure she changed her mind early on. It was really obvious that he really liked her early on and became very protective of her. Maybe his shaved head scared her ... or maybe his 'model' looks made him seem suspect.

When she took Brad home, her mom said that she'd liked all of her boyfriends so it doesn't sound like she'd had a stream of bad relationships. Sounds like her ex-BF left the state and they broke up after college. She was single for a few years because she was so into school. Her mom didn't even have a problem with JP. Obviously if she brought JP home, she must have seen something in him. She was really rude to JP which wasn't nice. But, I'm glad he was able to talk to Ashley about what she said to him instead of holding it in or dressing it up like it didn't bother him. I imagine that was very scary because Ben made it clear that if his mother and sister didn't like her, things wouldn't work out. I think he may have a few things to learn too. It's his life and he has to live it.

As with Constantine, he may be looking for someone to fit into his current/immediate family instead of seeking someone who is a fit for him but may change the family dynamic some. There still are some cultures where the wife moves in with the in-laws and basically becomes a servant, of sorts, to his family. In fact, I just saw that episode of Flo from the Bad Girl's Club getting married and, in accordance with Albanian tradition, her MIL picked her wedding gown, she trained her in how to serve tea to the men and family (and walk out of the room backwards so as not to turn her back to them), her own mother couldn't come to the wedding and she moved in with them that night. I don't think that would work for Ashley for very long.

[northernviewer]

My opinion of Ben, (as a widowed mother of 2 20something sons) is that Ben still needs to grow up. That whole convo with his mother on their HTD's was a definite WTH moment for me. They have a camera crew at their house filming the Bachelorette, where he's brought a girl home that he could possibly be engaged to in a few weeks... and all they talk about us how Ben acted after his dad died and how he wasn't there for for his mother?? Now if he was 23 or 24 and lost his dad when his was around 20 and at college, I could understand it all better. but at the age he's at, my opinion is that Ben only thinks about Ben. Then I hear how Ben acts at the FRC (sounded totally overconfident considering how we've been shown what the dynamics were between Ash and him - which was goofy friends hanging out and kissing a little). Sorry folks, but I'm getting a spoiled boy that needs to stop thinking so highly of himself.

[Bhaka]

I didn't care about Ashley being the bachelorette, planned no investment on my part. Wasn't even sure I'd watch every Monday.

Bam, JP looking like a model, walks out of that limo.."no gimmicks, me and my smile"...then the cupcake story inside, he hooked me bigtime. I started to watch just to see him, still didn't give a dang about Ashley (at that time). Then when I saw her glow around JP and the connection (despite the smokescreen called BNB), I started to really like her, thought she was a sweet girl. And that only increased every week.

Now I totally adore this couple. I love more together than apart - if that makes any sense. I love that they are a 'we' now and the love is so in our face, they just cannot hide it.

This will be the best FRC and AFRC and media tour for me of any couple frome this show. I fell in love with them, while they were falling in love with each other. Best.Ending.Ever

I agree, Gina! I don't want to be insensitive to Ben fans who are not sharing the joy right now (I've been there), but I am so over-the-top happy about this season.

[sjcaligurl]

My opinion of Ben, (as a widowed mother of 2 20something sons) is that Ben still needs to grow up. That whole convo with his mother on their HTD's was a definite WTH moment for me. They have a camera crew at their house filming the Bachelorette, where he's brought a girl home that he could possibly be engaged to in a few weeks... and all they talk about us how Ben acted after his dad died and how he wasn't there for for his mother?? Now if he was 23 or 24 and lost his dad when his was around 20 and at college, I could understand it all better. but at the age he's at, my opinion is that Ben only thinks about Ben. Then I hear how Ben acts at the FRC (sounded totally overconfident considering how we've been shown what the dynamics were between Ash and him - which was goofy friends hanging out and kissing a little). Sorry folks, but I'm getting a spoiled boy that needs to stop thinking so highly of himself.

Okay, I didn't even want to get into how much that creeped me out. One of my twitter pals WENT OFF about the mom so she picked up on the same thing I did. Something odd is going on there. I didn't think he needed to be apologizing to her on camera no matter what he did or how he acted and even the way she 'accepted' his apology just sent a chill through me. I do think he has some more growing up to do and I don't think he's really ready to be engaged to be married when he really hasn't even had a real girlfriend in a while. He really needs to be dating and I'm sure that he, and probably a few of the other guys who were there, have a better idea of what they want and how they want to feel. I think even Lucas said he opened up and learned how to talk about his feelings more ... and he'd been married before.

I think Ben got caught up in fraternity think. His little crew is probably a lot like the BB crew and they seemed to mock JP. They probably told him that JP was no competition for him and he bought it. I'm thinking there is probably some envy on behalf of the guys who were there a little longer because they got a little more invested than they wanted to. Lucas didn't want to acknowledge JP as a good fit. I'm not sure what Nick's trip is because after he got eliminated, he supposedly tweeted something like "that's not what happened" then deleted it. Then, he's talking about JPs temper on the BB with the biggest crew of *holes in the franchise and Monday night, he mocked Ashley saying "did she say 'adventuresome'? " ... It just shows she made a good choice. A lot of these guys are stuck on themselves and still very immature. I'd like JP/Ashley to become friends with Trista/Ryan, Ali/Roberto , DeAnna/Stephen ... maybe Peyton/Chris if they can tear themselves away from the BB crew.

William tweeted about wanting to move to NYC ... I told him to see if JP/Ashley could find him a hookup (he replied 'excellent idea') ... Graham told him to give it a shot too. They can find some decent people to hang out with ... and, yes, I think William was a good guy ... just no where near ready for Ashley.

[ironcat]

My opinion of Ben, (as a widowed mother of 2 20something sons) is that Ben still needs to grow up. That whole convo with his mother on their HTD's was a definite WTH moment for me. They have a camera crew at their house filming the Bachelorette, where he's brought a girl home that he could possibly be engaged to in a few weeks... and all they talk about us how Ben acted after his dad died and how he wasn't there for for his mother?? Now if he was 23 or 24 and lost his dad when his was around 20 and at college, I could understand it all better. but at the age he's at, my opinion is that Ben only thinks about Ben. Then I hear how Ben acts at the FRC (sounded totally overconfident considering how we've been shown what the dynamics were between Ash and him - which was goofy friends hanging out and kissing a little). Sorry folks, but I'm getting a spoiled boy that needs to stop thinking so highly of himself.

I've never been a big fan of Ben personally, just didn't see all that much appealing about him, and didn't see the great sense of humor others did (possibly because I suspect it's a little too juvenile for an old lady like me), but I do think he's probably a nice guy in real life, and not the next addition to the Bachelor Beatdown sleazoids. However, I always felt that he was in no way ready to get engaged at the end of this process. He seems to be a young 28, as opposed to someone like Roberto, who at 26 seemed to have his s**t together much moreso, and on top of that, the emotional wall that he has had up for quite a while not only needed to be broken (which I assume it was), but is not conducive to jumping into the first relationship immediately after (and particularly one generating from this show) all the way to a quick engagement. IMO he is so far from ready for that, and it may be why he was also so unrealistic/naive in assessing where he ultimately stood with Ashley. And why he's now apparently exhibiting a bit of the sour grapes instead of being able to be more gracious.

[bluwavz]

I didn't care about Ashley being the bachelorette, planned no investment on my part. Wasn't even sure I'd watch every Monday.

Bam, JP looking like a model, walks out of that limo.."no gimmicks, me and my smile"...then the cupcake story inside, he hooked me bigtime. I started to watch just to see him, still didn't give a dang about Ashley (at that time). Then when I saw her glow around JP and the connection (despite the smokescreen called BNB), I started to really like her, thought she was a sweet girl. And that only increased every week.

Now I totally adore this couple. I love more together than apart - if that makes any sense. I love that they are a 'we' now and the love is so in our face, they just cannot hide it.

This will be the best FRC and AFRC and media tour for me of any couple frome this show. I fell in love with them, while they were falling in love with each other. Best.Ending.Ever

I agree, Gina! I don't want to be insensitive to Ben fans who are not sharing the joy right now (I've been there), but I am so over-the-top happy about this season.

Bhaka, it's not insensitive to Ben fans to be over-the-top happy about the outcome of this season. I know if Ben had been Ashley's choice, I wouldn't have been able to contain myself. :awesome:

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