Re: Andi Dorfman & Josh Murray - Bachelorette 10 - General Discussion #2

by Alanna Mon Jan 12, 2015 5:09 pm

Ash2214 wrote:
Alanna wrote:
You're right, he did put her first for awhile but there was something going on there for Andi's only fav'd tweet in Dec being that Josh loves his mom more than anything, her included I suppose in retrospect. Anyway, Josh seems really happy with his mom/family and I'm sure both will find their right person eventually.

Yes he did and maybe he eventually realized he wanted to compromise. It's not okay to shut out your family completely just to keep you girlfriend, fiance, or wife happy. Relationships are about compromise, which in regards to his family, it didn't really seem Andi was necessarily willing to do. They saw the Murray's twice in about a five month period. Heck, they spent the major holiday's with the Dorfman's. Would they have spent an early Thanksgiving with the Murray's if they weren't already in town for Josh's brother? I'm not so sure about that.

I hope no one takes this the wrong way, but the Dorfman's are Jewish. Wouldn't it have been nice of Andi to want to spend Christmas with the Murray's esepcially since the Dorfman's had Thanksgiving? I wonder how Josh felt spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in Las Vegas on the slot machines and shopping. Josh really seemed to cater to Andi and her family and there's nothing wrong with that. I liked seeing how close it appears Josh got with the Dorfman's, but at the same time, it wasn't fair to him that he was seemingly cut off from his family until November. Maybe he resented Andi for not allowing him to still be close to his family and maybe Andi resented him for still missing his family even though he had her and her family. Who knows.

We agree for the most part I think. There wasn't the right navigation/compromise balance struck ever imo. Josh shouldn't have unfollowed his mom or ignored her birthday in the beginning, not congratulated his brother on the engagement and all that stuff in Oct. The balance wasn't there ever, on either side of the coin. It's moot now so I'll let this go Smiley

by nannymargie Mon Jan 12, 2015 5:16 pm

I think the important point is that they spent both holidays with both sets of parents regardless if it was on the exact day or not. They did UGA football games with both parents. Then they did Chief's games twice with the Murrays. I don't think they were doing more things with one side or the other.

They saw the Dorfman's more because they live in the same city. The Murray's are 6/8 hours away so it's harder to see them as much.

I think they did the best they could because of all the other traveling in between.

by Guest Mon Jan 12, 2015 5:17 pm

Kashathediva wrote:Let me add in my own personal situation, I let my children and their significants lead their own life first.
It is not my place to offer an opinion, advice or such even when asked. It takes me a lot to go there. It is a privilege to be a valuable part of their lives and not a right.

I completely agree. It makes it hard on your own kids, if you interfere or don't like their spouse. My kids aren't old enough to be married, but I hope I do as well with this.

by Guest Mon Jan 12, 2015 5:22 pm

Well, the interview answered the career question. She wants to be a fashion designer!
I'm not sure if their families had anything to do with the breakup bottom line for me,if the relationship was worth it, really worth and had all the ingredients to work in the long run,then, if there is family interference, the extended family can be temporarily put on hold while the relationship flourishes.

by nannymargie Mon Jan 12, 2015 5:24 pm

lexforlife wrote:Well, the interview answered the career question. She wants to be a fashion designer!

Nothing wrong with that and giving it a try. She still could be a wife at the same time.

by atem Mon Jan 12, 2015 5:26 pm

lexforlife wrote:Well, the interview answered the career question. She wants to be a fashion designer!

Andi does? I guess I don't understand that, but whatever.

by stuckinsc Mon Jan 12, 2015 5:26 pm

nannymargie wrote:I think the important point is that they spent both holidays with both sets of parents regardless if it was on the exact day or not. They did UGA football games with both parents. Then they did Aaron's games twice with the Murrays. I don't think they were doing more things with one side or the other.

They saw the Dorfman's more because they live in the same city. The Murray's are 6/8 hours away so it's harder to see them as much.

I think they did the best they could because of all the other traveling in between.

I had this situation with my first marriage. My husbands family was 45 minutes away. We saw them at least every other weekend, and I was happy too. I can also say that because of that my MIL also understood that every Christmas would be spent with my family who didn't get to see us as much. I am sure she would have loved to have us there and I am sure my hubby didn't enjoy five years in a row without Christmas Day with his family, but we compromised, it is what happens.

The key days, the actual holiday was always, always with the Dorfmans. They are Jewish, they don't celebrate Christmas, but Josh and the Murrays do, so why exactly the need to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in Vegas with the Dorfmans? Sounds like a power control to me and a big red flag.

by stuckinsc Mon Jan 12, 2015 5:28 pm

nannymargie wrote:
lexforlife wrote:Well, the interview answered the career question. She wants to be a fashion designer!

Nothing wrong with that and giving it a try. She still could be a wife at the same time.

Agreed but it would be very hard to try to start a new career and be a new mother all at the same time and do it "perfectly" as Andi would want to.

I maintain, Andi was okay with the wife part, but she was in no way ready for the motherhood part. That is okay, just not where Josh was at.

by Guest Mon Jan 12, 2015 5:34 pm

nannymargie wrote:
lexforlife wrote:Well, the interview answered the career question. She wants to be a fashion designer!

Nothing wrong with that and giving it a try. She still could be a wife at the same time.

True, but I think she wants to do it on a large scale where her designs are well known and being a wife IMO will interfere with launching her own designs on a national platform as I imagine she wants. I wish her the best with that.

by albean99 Mon Jan 12, 2015 5:36 pm

stuckinsc wrote:
nannymargie wrote:
lexforlife wrote:Well, the interview answered the career question. She wants to be a fashion designer!

Nothing wrong with that and giving it a try. She still could be a wife at the same time.

Agreed but it would be very hard to try to start a new career and be a new mother all at the same time and do it "perfectly" as Andi would want to.

I maintain, Andi was okay with the wife part, but she was in no way ready for the motherhood part. That is okay, just not where Josh was at.

IA about Andi but don't know where Josh is either. He didn't seem in a hurry to have a serious relationship pre-show.

Andi may want to be a fashion designer but you can't just want it. There has to be some talent and haven't seen that yet. I guess I'd have more respect if she really gave law a shot.

by Ash2214 Mon Jan 12, 2015 5:43 pm

albean99 wrote:
stuckinsc wrote:
nannymargie wrote:

Nothing wrong with that and giving it a try. She still could be a wife at the same time.

Agreed but it would be very hard to try to start a new career and be a new mother all at the same time and do it "perfectly" as Andi would want to.

I maintain, Andi was okay with the wife part, but she was in no way ready for the motherhood part. That is okay, just not where Josh was at.
IA about Andi but don't know where Josh is either. He didn't seem in a hurry to have a serious relationship pre-show.

Andi may want to be a fashion designer but you can't just want it. There has to be some talent and haven't seen that yet. I guess I'd have more respect if she really gave law a shot.

I think he was and that's why he wasn't in a long term relationship during that five year period as weird as that sounds. He was in a pretty long term relationship before that five year period started, but he said during that five year period he just didn't find someone who he felt he could make it long term with. He said he didn't want to waste the girls time or his so if he felt during casually dating that if it wasn't going to lead anywhere then he would break it off with the person. I actually admire that. I think he was waiting for the right person to come along. No point in wasting your time or someone else's. I have a friend that's a relationship girl just for the sake of having a relationship even if she knows there's no legitimate future. It's a waste of time IMO and just not fair.

by stuckinsc Mon Jan 12, 2015 5:45 pm

albean99 wrote:
stuckinsc wrote:
nannymargie wrote:

Nothing wrong with that and giving it a try. She still could be a wife at the same time.

Agreed but it would be very hard to try to start a new career and be a new mother all at the same time and do it "perfectly" as Andi would want to.

I maintain, Andi was okay with the wife part, but she was in no way ready for the motherhood part. That is okay, just not where Josh was at.
IA about Andi but don't know where Josh is either. He didn't seem in a hurry to have a serious relationship pre-show.

Andi may want to be a fashion designer but you can't just want it. There has to be some talent and haven't seen that yet. I guess I'd have more respect if she really gave law a shot.

Given Jolena and LW's discussion with Josh in AC, it sounded like Josh wanted Andi pregnant yesterday and she was hesitant.

I don't know if Andi has the talent to design, like you said the t-shirt and the dress did not impress me. But I don't think Andi liked being a lawyer at all. She ran too quickly and never came back. I am okay with her trying out the design thing, I think the experiences we grow from the most are actually when we try and fail. I guess I wish I had tried more in my 20s instead of settling and supporting my ex and putting my dreams on hold. So I say, if she can afford it, then do it. She is young enough to find another dream if that one doesn't work out. I just don't see Andi ever practicing law again. Her notoriety IMO would make it very hard for her to be anything other than a DUI or Personal Injury lawyer and that is not glamorous at all.

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