Andi Dorfman & Josh Murray - Bachelorette 10 - General Discussion #2

SueSt wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:

aviej wrote:

The sooner she recognises this, the better for her IMO.

But in my opinion, I think it is actually good that she is taking the time to do this. She has to figure it out on her own. It was obvious to most of us that Andi didn't want to be an Atlanta housewife.  As much as I don't like her and if she really left guys she was dating to do this show twice, that is horrible, but Andi did try to be the Atlanta housewife.  She tried to want to be there and hangout and do all those things everyday.  I don't think it made her happy, it seemed like times when she didn't have Josh, Kelly or someone else to help her occupy her time she was not really enjoying it.  

Good for her for taking the time to find out what she wants.  She is only 27 years old and quite honestly had been on a very direct and focused path on something that I think she unfortunately found out wasn't her dream and what she thought it would be (the law).  I am happy for her that this show has given her the resources to figure it out.  I actually think pursuing her dreams and figuring out what is good for her is absolutely the best thing for her right now.

If Andi and Josh are meant to be, they will find their way back to each other.  But, obvious, IMO, where they are right now wasn't good for them or they would not have broken up.  I think they both need time to pursue what is important to them.  If after that they decide that their love was the most important of all they will make it back, but if not, they will, I am sure find what it is they need.

To be honest, the one of the reasons it took me so long to get on the Chris and Des train was because I didn't think Des had truly given herself time in her heart to give up on the dream of Brooks.  I was truly afraid that after a little while she would discover that while Chris was really great, that her heart wondered too much what might have been.  Boy, was I ever wrong about that.

But oddly enough, I think I had that feeling one season too soon.  I think Andi really did love Josh and I think she wanted to be happy with their lives and unfortunately she wasn't.  Good for her for figuring it out sooner rather than later.  Every breakup sucks, but as a divorced woman, I can honestly say, I wish I had had the courage to end my engagement when I had that feeling. Being divorced is 100 times worse than breaking an engagement and I am truly happy for both to not have to go through that.  

I actually think that any of these couples marrying in under a year is a really bad idea.  They met in the most unnatural of circumstances, they need time to figure out if all those feelings are strong enough to build a solid foundation for the future, because MF and his "fairytale" usually has very little to do with real life.  Heck Chris and actually going to Iowa this year has impressed the heck out of me.  Chris needed to find a woman who could love his life, for once MF let go of the travel porn to try to do what was best for his lead.

MF and TPTB, IMO never tried that for Andi. I think they were mad at her for not only getting rid of first choice Eric too soon, but then insisting on their choice 1B for herself.  They games and manipulation they played on both her and Nick between FRC and AFTR were mean and cruel.

Experience speaks louder than words.  Thanks for sharing your perspective about breakups, Stuck.

I hope that Andi will take time to figure it all out, because in the absence of knowing what she wants, she projected a false but persuasive image of someone that did… and as a result, wound up ensnaring both Nick and Josh in a separate illusions and wounding each of them significantly when the illusion was revealed.  I don’t think she meant to do it, I don’t think she knew she was doing it, but she did it just the same.

I’m not sure, of course, but I don’t think Andi figured it out sooner than later, I think Josh did and broke up with her.  Her ‘performance’ at Chris’ premiere suggests to me that she was still trying to push the illusion (all the back rubbing and mega watt smiling) while Josh had already checked out.  It’s also in keeping with the total lack of self-awareness she has presented in the last months.  

I agree with your former hesitations about Chris and Des… I had the same experience, thinking she switched her heart too soon.  And good, as you suggest, that she and Chris took the time to build a solid foundation.

You are not the first to suggest that TPTB were angry at Andi for choosing the ‘leads’ they wanted and took it out on her (Nick) in postproduction… If true, it’s another level of evil and manipulation that’s really really creepy!

mamahamme wrote:Maybe so I remember in the hotel before the contestants went to the mansion Josh was interviewed and the first thing he said he was looking for was someone who is sophisticated. That might be hard to find plus that could be one of the reasons it has taken so long to find someone.

Kashathediva wrote:There is some flexibility in being a financial planner. Work can be done outside of the formal office setting.
That being said you are only as successful of a financial planner as the time and effort you put into it. Most people value their investments(to say the least!) and do spend time researching the person they trust their hard work funds to be invested. So you can read between the lines.  Obviously, networking is important, also, but a good track record and work ethic means everything.
To me whether it' Advocare, Mary Kay, Avon, Shaklee, Herbal Life, or Amway--it has a bit of both part time job/used car salesman/snake oil salesman stigma attached to it. Some make a real go of it, most not so much.
As far as taking time away from their real job--that is subjective.
It amazes me how attached at the hip society is with their phones and that is more disruptive to work than anything. I have cameras everywhere at work. The only time I use my phone is in a private restroom and as a nurse, restroom breaks are few and far between.  But everywhere I go people are on the phone at work texting, searching etc. Really? Do your work!

nannymargie wrote:

mamahamme wrote:Maybe so I remember in the hotel before the contestants went to the mansion Josh was interviewed and the first thing he said he was looking for was someone who is sophisticated. That might be hard to find plus that could be one of the reasons it has taken so long to find someone.

Josh has always said that he is picky when it comes to finding someone to settle down with.  It had taken him 5 years before he found it in Andi.  Of course Andi provided a few things he wasn't looking for.   So does Josh change what he wants in a woman or does he himself reflect on what they had and feels he should give this relationship another chance?  The next few weeks and months will have us on edge wondering if it's God's will to make this relationship new again or lead them on different paths.

What kind of scares me is that will Josh put his family first again over what he wants?  

mamahamme wrote:**Edited**.

Chancy wrote:

nutty1 wrote:I am probably 10 pages too late, but I was perusing through the threads and saw mention of Andi and Josh's Atlantic City interview, so I watched. Here are my 2 thoughts.
First, for someone who never warmed too much to Josh, it was probably the most I ever liked him.
Second, I never followed them post show and if I had seen that interview, I would have thought they were perfectly happy and fine. I saw no read flags there at all. Monday night - yes. But not that interview.

I watched that interview too and had a slightly different impression. I thought they were already showing little signs of wear. They seemed to spend their day in AC separately, didn't really know what the other did. Time alone, great, but don't you talk about your day? Andi had no clue if he was up or down gambling, said she let him go off to do his thing while she shopped. He got in a little dig about her shopping. The interviewer asked about her shoes and Andi looked at Josh sheepishly and said, "Burberry." When asked about who controls the finances, Josh vehemently exclaimed, "I do, I'm a financial planner!" He seemed angry.

I didn't watch the interview when it aired so am looking at it through the lens of the breakup, but I think little cracks were starting. I had hope for this pretty couple, sorry they can't work it out, but they'll be just fine in time, like so many littered hearts before them. I hate the families as collateral damage though, especially the children, but they all get through it just fine in the end, so many examples.  I'm most interested in the former contestants who go on to create happy marriages and families, both in and outside of the franchise.