Andi Dorfman & Josh Murray - Bachelorette 10 - General Discussion #2

That girl was very religious so that was my next guess was that they were spotted at a church. How did you find out Alanna?

Costiesgirl wrote:That girl was very religious so that was my next guess was that they were spotted at a church. How did you find out Alanna?

https://twitter.com/leaannporter/status/554428236793647105

Lol that's bad taking pics in church

I am probably 10 pages too late, but I was perusing through the threads and saw mention of Andi and Josh's Atlantic City interview, so I watched. Here are my 2 thoughts.
First, for someone who never warmed too much to Josh, it was probably the most I ever liked him.
Second, I never followed them post show and if I had seen that interview, I would have thought they were perfectly happy and fine. I saw no read flags there at all. Monday night - yes. But not that interview.

How exhausting for both of them. I know watching Andi question Josh all season exhausted me. Before the season began I actually wanted her to pick Josh, but after the second episode and the Andi couldn't trust Josh because she had been cheated on crap, I jumped off the train.

I hoped that it would stop once she chose him and it seemed at AFTR it had with them spending all their time together.

But if Andi couldn't let go of the fact that Josh might be attracted to other women that is sad. I know for me and all marriages of my friends you don't stop being attracted to other people, but you love the one you are with and don't want to act on that attraction. Trust is so vital to any relationship and if Andi wasn't able to trust in Josh and I am sure it was hurtful for both of them.

That was actually something I liked about Andi with Nick at least at first, he seemed to calm her and she seemed secure when with him. No, I don't want her back with Nick, but maybe Andi needs a man she thinks she is "hotter" than to be secure?

I also think Andi would have loved to be like Jesse James and Eric Decker and while Josh didn't mind the hanging out sometimes, I think he wanted a more normal life.

Josh's choice of Advocare may have been the first straw. She even posted a tweet about the Advofreak coming to bed and snuggling her. If it was just a little thing and didn't require a lot of work, but if you really want to do MLM well and are committed to it, it takes a lot of time and work at first. Josh seems like he has never been afraid of hard work.

I do wonder if Josh felt compelled to make it even more successful because of the fact that Andi had chosen to quit working to pursue whatever it was she wanted.

In either case, I do think this might be for the best, once the burning hot flame of passion started to burn down it seems like when they had to find the common ground and compromises it got too difficult.

I hope for them to both find the person that it is easier to make those compromises and find a happy common ground with. Andi should be able to be who she wants to be, be that designer, spoiled stay at home wife, or whatever. For Josh I hope for him to find someone who is good with his choices and his family.

nutty1 wrote:I am probably 10 pages too late, but I was perusing through the threads and saw mention of Andi and Josh's Atlantic City interview, so I watched. Here are my 2 thoughts.
First, for someone who never warmed too much to Josh, it was probably the most I ever liked him.
Second, I never followed them post show and if I had seen that interview, I would have thought they were perfectly happy and fine. I saw no read flags there at all. Monday night - yes. But not that interview.

Thanks for saying this nutty.

stuckinsc wrote:How exhausting for both of them.  I know watching Andi question Josh all season exhausted me.  Before the season began I actually wanted her to pick Josh, but after the second episode and the Andi couldn't trust Josh because she had been cheated on crap, I jumped off the train.

I hoped that it would stop once she chose him and it seemed at AFTR it had with them spending all their time together.

But if Andi couldn't let go of the fact that Josh might be attracted to other women that is sad.  I know for me and all marriages of my friends you don't stop being attracted to other people, but you love the one you are with and don't want to act on that attraction.  Trust is so vital to any relationship and if Andi wasn't able to trust in Josh and I am sure it was hurtful for both of them.

That was actually something I liked about Andi with Nick at least at first, he seemed to calm her and she seemed secure when with him.  No, I don't want her back with Nick, but maybe Andi needs a man she thinks she is "hotter" than to be secure?

I also think Andi would have loved to be like Jesse James and Eric Decker and while Josh didn't mind the hanging out sometimes, I think he wanted a more normal life.  

Josh's choice of Advocare may have been the first straw.  She even posted a tweet about the Advofreak coming to bed and snuggling her.  If it was just a little thing and didn't require a lot of work, but if you really want to do MLM well and are committed to it, it takes a lot of time and work at first.  Josh seems like he has never been afraid of hard work.  

I do wonder if Josh felt compelled to make it even more successful because of the fact that Andi had chosen to quit working to pursue whatever it was she wanted.  

In either case, I do think this might be for the best, once the burning hot flame of passion started to burn down it seems like when they had to find the common ground and compromises it got too difficult.

I hope for them to both find the person that it is easier to make those compromises and find a happy common ground with.  Andi should be able to be who she wants to be, be that designer, spoiled stay at home wife, or whatever.  For Josh I hope for him to find someone who is good with his choices and his family.

I agree with the whole post, especially the bolded.

KB_Mom wrote:I've read the many thought provoking posts on what led to the demise of the relationship.  While opinions may differ as to what led to break up and who ended it, the one thing that seems really clear to me is that Andi is utterly lost as to what she wants from life and what direction she wants to go in with her life. I've never been a fan of her, but to be as lost as she seems to be, I do feel sympathy for her. Can only hope this "crash" will be a learning experience, that she will think long and hard, and make wise decisions what direction she wants to go in the future.

KB Mom; short and to the point. ITA.
I came to dislike Andi but I also feel for her.
It will be interesting to see whether she uses this experience as a springboard towards realigning her life or continues down the same empty path.

KB_Mom wrote:I think we will hear from Andi when she has figured out how she is going to spin this.

You may be right, but she would be better off if she stopped spinning and took time to reflect on her life, her choices and her future.

nutty1 wrote:I am probably 10 pages too late, but I was perusing through the threads and saw mention of Andi and Josh's Atlantic City interview, so I watched. Here are my 2 thoughts.
First, for someone who never warmed too much to Josh, it was probably the most I ever liked him.
Second, I never followed them post show and if I had seen that interview, I would have thought they were perfectly happy and fine. I saw no read flags there at all. Monday night - yes. But not that interview.

We had a couple of fans from this forum that were there for that event. They said they seemed extremely happy and very sweet together and I think it's because they genuinely were. I've been repeating myself a lot the past few days, but I think they were very happy until the past couple of months.

Most of their interviews were like the one from Atlantic City.

nutty1 wrote:I am probably 10 pages too late, but I was perusing through the threads and saw mention of Andi and Josh's Atlantic City interview, so I watched. Here are my 2 thoughts.
First, for someone who never warmed too much to Josh, it was probably the most I ever liked him.
Second, I never followed them post show and if I had seen that interview, I would have thought they were perfectly happy and fine. I saw no read flags there at all. Monday night - yes. But not that interview.

I watched that interview too and had a slightly different impression. I thought they were already showing little signs of wear. They seemed to spend their day in AC separately, didn't really know what the other did. Time alone, great, but don't you talk about your day? Andi had no clue if he was up or down gambling, said she let him go off to do his thing while she shopped. He got in a little dig about her shopping. The interviewer asked about her shoes and Andi looked at Josh sheepishly and said, "Burberry." When asked about who controls the finances, Josh vehemently exclaimed, "I do, I'm a financial planner!" He seemed angry.

I didn't watch the interview when it aired so am looking at it through the lens of the breakup, but I think little cracks were starting. I had hope for this pretty couple, sorry they can't work it out, but they'll be just fine in time, like so many littered hearts before them. I hate the families as collateral damage though, especially the children, but they all get through it just fine in the end, so many examples. I'm most interested in the former contestants who go on to create happy marriages and families, both in and outside of the franchise.

This is my first post on the actual split, although I have commented in some other threads indirectly. First off I want to say to the fans I am sorry for all of you I know it sucks to see two people you really like/cheer on go their separate ways, but if we have learnt anything from the past couples it is always for the best.

I agree with Nutty I did not sense anything from the Monday night broadcast that there was trouble in paradise. The only time I noticed anything was when Andi and Josh were in the audience and Chris asked them about Britt, I thought Josh looked a little sad in a way but I thought he was just lethargic. Again I didn't really think anything was wrong.

Part of me thought they were going to make it all the way to the altar and another part thought that while on the surface they seemed incredibly compatible, I do think there were fundamental differences between the two.

I do commend them for coming to terms with it sooner rather than later, it takes a lot of courage to admit a relationship isn't working and even more courage to part ways. For me I can't blame Josh or Andi separately, first off because I really don't know them nor do I really know anything about their relationship, and secondly even if I did it takes two people for a relationship to strive or for a relationship to fail. Sometimes it just isn't meant to be.