Andi Dorfman & Josh Murray - Bachelorette 10 - General Discussion #2

nannymargie wrote:Josh accepted Andi and all her flaws.  He knew she was an over thinker.  Andi also said that she could be her complete self with Josh, he saw her for who she is and still loved her.  Someone like that is hard to find and doesn't come along every day.

What is a cerebral connection anyway?  You don't hear people say I married someone with a cerebral connection.  You always hear people say I married my best friend.  

Yes, he knew she was an over-thinker, but did he know what it was like to be with one day in day out for the rest of his life? No, he did not. He couldn't have. Really, it's so easy to say all those things at the start of a relationship when you're madly in love. You think you mean every word you say, but time proves whether that's really the case or not. They were together for a mere 8 months. That's not long for two people who supposedly accepted each other with all their flaws and had unconditional love for another. The proof is in the pudding. And I don't really trust anything Andi says, because she's clearly very concerned about appearances. And yes, you do hear people say they married their best friend all the time. Hence why Andi kept repeating it, IMO.

I agree with Nannymargie. In life you need a partner who would balance you off - not another extension of yourself. If you married someone who over analyzed and thought just like you it'll drive you crazy. I think when you marry someone opposite to yourself you can lean on each other's strengths and weaknesses in difficult times. Is JP the cerebral match to Ash? I doubt. But a relationship is not founded on brain power. IMO, the most important things in a relationship are God, love and communication. I do believe they were deeply in love, I do think they communicated to each other - maybe sometimes bickered, but who hasn't. Josh didn't care that he might get sent home, he was open and honest about his feelings for the lie detector test. I think Andi was most vulnerable to Josh in that she shared her deepest hurt of a past relationship with him. Yes she and Nick communicated well on a philosophical sense but that's just philosophy. He could barely hold two sentences together when talking to her. Post show Andi did say that they did not show Josh's intellectual side. According to Andi, she had a greater love with Josh and that's what it came down to. I really hope their friends try to talk them into getting back together at least to give it another shot to say we tried again and failed, then they can really move on. But i do think they need to take a vacation together, outside of the US where they can just be themselves rather than being a brand and figure things out there.

Ash2214 wrote:I have some similar thoughts, aviej.

Let's not forget that according to RS, Andi dated someone starting once she got back from filming Juan Pablo's season up until she left filming for the bachelorette. This guy just happened to be a very, very wealthy real estate person down in ATL. That's makes it two relationships she broke off to go on the two shows, so if we're going to talk about trust issues..

I think it's going to take a very special breed of man to make it last with Andi. Not anything wrong about that, but that's my opinion. No guy from the show was going to be it.

What? Never heard of any Real Estate man. Where did this come from?

^ It came from RS. He teased her about it in quite a few posts during Juan Pablo's season. She casually dated a loaded real estate guy once she got back from filming Juan Pablo's season and seemed to continue it throughout the season since he would mention it a few times.

The point I wanted to make that in all seriousness, she broke it off with two guys before she started filming each show. Was she really looking for forever on these shows knowing she had someone at home just mere weeks or days before she left? Like I said, she needs a special breed of guy. Someone loaded, quiet, and weak that will do what she wants. Again, nothing wrong with that and it's my opinion.

Ash2214 wrote:^ It came from RS. He teased her about it in quite a few posts during Juan Pablo's season. She casually dated a loaded real estate guy once she got back from filming Juan Pablo's season and seemed to continue it throughout the season since he would mention it a few times.

The point I wanted to make that in all seriousness, she broke it off with two guys before she started filming each show. Was she really looking for forever on these shows knowing she had someone at home just mere weeks or days before she left? Like I said, she needs a special breed of guy. Someone loaded, quiet, and weak that will do what she wants. Again, nothing wrong with that and it's my opinion.

Ok I never paid attention to RS except for spoilers.

Kashathediva wrote:^^ My guess. Only speculative. Minutes after RS came out with his stuff, she posted on FB about flying to Atlanta.
And of course, she knew what was going on.

Your speculation is likea class in RS 101. YOu've got his number and now we can all decipher more about where he gets his info (apart from BBF of course!).

This was tweeted by Jenny Molen, who happens to be very close to Elan, and production in general. To me it shows that the producers knew about the breakup by Monday (anyone could have been RS source):

Thanks for watching everyone. I'll leave you with this one last thought: Andy's boyfriend hates her.

Good night:)

— Jenny Mollen (@jennyandteets) January 6, 2015

It shows Jan 6th,but she posted it when the show ended on the 5th.

I think it could just be her observation. I mean it did seem that way watching it back. Josh couldn't have looked more uncomfortable if he tried.

Andi summarized her attraction to each man many times on the show.  Josh was handsome, gregarious, goofy, ex-Athlete, warm, fun.  Nick was passionate, mature, thoughtful, analytical, articulate. (Of course each man had other characteristics too but these are the ones Andi kept referring to.)  She was pulled to each man for different reasons.

Andi chose her 'dream' guy', Josh, the guy she always wanted.  And it was the right choice, she had to choose Josh to see her dream through. And in this light, I guess, it would have been impossible for her to choose Nick. (As Atem keeps reminding us/me Andi chose Josh.   )  

So Andi’s destiny was to finally have what she said she always wanted.  But to my eyes, Andi’s experience showed her that her dream (what she said wanted) couldn't give her what she really needed...

And what follows are my thoughts based on my own life experiences.  I share them here knowing they will not resonate with those of you who believe Andi and Josh belong together…

I have suffered this type of ‘realignment’ in my life, and in my experience, there’s no way to know you are on the wrong path ahead of time; you only know in hindsight.  And confronting the end of a dream, I have tried (as I saw Andi do at the Premiere last week) to will the dream to work with every ounce of steely determination I could muster.  But desire and will is not enough if it’s the wrong dream.  

And you finally have to let go… and it leaves you shattered and confused; your whole life is upside down.  And afterwards, if you’re open (not blaming other people or circumstances), there can be a long period of thoughtful and often painful introspection to understand how you got to where you are.  But taking the time to understand your choices leads you out of the rubble and helps you find your way forward.

Despite how heartless Andi was towards Nick; karmaically, I hope she can find her way and move forward.

julychild wrote:This was tweeted by Jenny Molen, who happens to be very close to Elan, and production in general. To me it shows that the producers knew about the breakup by Monday (anyone could have been RS source):

Thanks for watching everyone. I'll leave you with this one last thought: Andy's boyfriend hates her.
Good night:)

— Jenny Mollen (@jennyandteets) January 6, 2015

It shows Jan 6th,but she posted it when the show ended on the 5th.

Why doesn't she know that Josh is the fiancee? Or that it's spelled Andi?

bleuberry wrote:

julychild wrote:This was tweeted by Jenny Molen, who happens to be very close to Elan, and production in general. To me it shows that the producers knew about the breakup by Monday (anyone could have been RS source):

Thanks for watching everyone. I'll leave you with this one last thought: Andy's boyfriend hates her.
Good night:)

— Jenny Mollen (@jennyandteets) January 6, 2015

It shows Jan 6th,but she posted it when the show ended on the 5th.

Why doesn't she know that Josh is the fiancee? Or that it's spelled Andi?

Good catch and question.

Ash2214 wrote:I have some similar thoughts, aviej.

Let's not forget that according to RS, Andi dated someone starting once she got back from filming Juan Pablo's season up until she left filming for the bachelorette. This guy just happened to be a very, very wealthy real estate person down in ATL. That's makes it two relationships she broke off to go on the two shows, so if we're going to talk about trust issues..

I think it's going to take a very special breed of man to make it last with Andi. Not anything wrong about that, but that's my opinion. No guy from the show was going to be it.

Oh this is new info to me! I'm dying to know all about this fellow now. If they dated casually, I wouldn't be surprised if she goes back to him now, especially if he's older. I do think she started feeling insecure with Josh in part to his instability in his job(s) as well as her instability after quitting her job also. And like Mindless said, he probably stopped being as supportive/doting if his sm is any indication of what was happening behind the scenes and it made her even more nuts.

I doubt they showed up to LA planning to breakup in the next 2 days though. I assume they were squabbling, one of them "offered" to break up and the other called the bluff with, "sounds good to me, let me just call our PR person real quick."