Re: Andi Dorfman & Josh Murray - Bachelorette 10 - General Discussion #2

by **GuardianAngel** Sat Jan 10, 2015 1:06 am

stuck! Glad to read in the other thread all is well!

One of the biggest mistakes IMO that people make in a relationship, is they think they can change the other person. Speaking from experience, the one who was expected to change to accommodate them, it doesn't work.

The same goes for if one of the parties change for whatever reason. It can't be expected that the relationship will remain the same if that person is now totally different then when they met. I'm not saying that Andi necessarily changed, she just may not have been what Josh thought she was, or vice versa. Maybe Andi thought she could fit in Josh's life, but realized she couldn't.

by KB_Mom Sat Jan 10, 2015 1:08 am

stuckin sc-very well stated and ITA.

I really liked Eric and still feel sad that he died. (RIP).

And Eric was able to read her like a book and it didn't take him long to read her.

by StacyNor Sat Jan 10, 2015 1:09 am

Man, if it is true that Andi ended it. I have to say she has gained some respect from me. Knowing the backlash she was gonna receive and did what was best for her and not care about the public outrage must have took guts. Still dislike her, but must say if she did break off the engagement good for her.

by MiaHawk Sat Jan 10, 2015 1:10 am

stuckinsc wrote:"StacyNor wrote:
"Kashathediva wrote:
When you sell a pound of flesh to MF, it's going to hurt.
I don't think I can recall a main who has come out of this completely unscathed. Perhaps Yawn, but even he got some static. Not much, though."
Has any lead ever lost as much as Andi?

Before The Bachelor

*Had a long term boyfriend who supposedly cheated on her and that was the reason why I spent the whole season watching her question and torture Josh if he really, really loved her
*Her own place which most have speculated that she couldn't afford on her salary so was probably at least partially paid for by mommy and daddy
*A job Which she willingly left twice to tape this show and then quit all together

After The Bachelor

*No boyfriend It might be good for her to learn to be on her own for a while
*Doesn't have her own place
*No job In line with being on her own, at 27 maybe it is time for Andi to learn to take care of herself and not rely on mommy and daddy or a man to support her
*Her reputation is in tatters Her own actions have done this, so sorry she has only herself to blame, she was happy to help ruin JPG's to get the bachelorette gig
*The ring she loved she must now give up sorry, to me she always seemed more in love with the ring than with Josh
*People are blaming her for the break up 1. it is now reported she did end it. 2. don't go on a show and claim you want to be married and pick a guy who is ready for marriage and kids and then get mad at him when that is what he wants

This show was the worst thing to happen to her.

I added my italics thoughts to the bold above.

Andi and Nikki both have grown to really piss me off for this reason. They both chose men who were very clear and specific about who they were and what they wanted.

JPG's first priority was his daughter and living a life in Miami with his daughter. Nikki, if you didn't want to move to Miami then here's an idea, don't pursue the man and want him to chose you.

Andi, Josh said he wanted to be married and have babies with you from the FS on. You knew that was what he wanted, so if you wanted to quit your job and try another career that is great, but if planning a wedding and having babies wasn't in your immediate plans then you made the mistake, not him.

This is a real pet peeve of mine. All the hot and wonderful chemistry in the world isn't going to save "love" if you don't want the same things in life. And to blame the man or complain that he wasn't willing to give you what you wanted, when he was very specific before hand that what you wanted wasn't going to agree with what he wants and even more so, you don't tell him that what he wants isn't what you want.

This would be a great time for Andi to grow and learn something about herself. If that happens, I could actually become a fan. But if Hy bails out his princess again and she continues to be the royal b*tch I saw for a season and half then good luck to her and since I am not impressed with the two examples of Andi's fashion designs I have seen so far, I expect in five or ten years on a road trip through Atlanta to see DUI Dorfman signs up on the highway, because she has lost most credibility to practice any serious kind of law from her own actions.

So nope, I don't feel sorry for Andi. I said it the night of the finale and AFTR when some commented that Nick wasn't a gentleman. Andi has never once acted like a lady, so I won't blame a man if he treats her the way that she acts.

Eric totally had it right!

^^^This is what I've been waiting all day to read. You nailed it! clapping!

by luvlady345 Sat Jan 10, 2015 1:15 am

Kashathediva wrote:
luvlady345 wrote:Well good thing Jen S. is great these day happy with a gorgeous family to boot.

Yes, she is. I must be missing your point.

I guess my point is , well no matter what label someone try to attached to others it has no bearing on their lives, be it the worst ette or the best. It all comes out in the wash.

by StacyNor Sat Jan 10, 2015 1:16 am

stuckinsc wrote:"StacyNor wrote:
"Kashathediva wrote:
When you sell a pound of flesh to MF, it's going to hurt.
I don't think I can recall a main who has come out of this completely unscathed. Perhaps Yawn, but even he got some static. Not much, though."
Has any lead ever lost as much as Andi?

Before The Bachelor

*Had a long term boyfriend who supposedly cheated on her and that was the reason why I spent the whole season watching her question and torture Josh if he really, really loved her
*Her own place which most have speculated that she couldn't afford on her salary so was probably at least partially paid for by mommy and daddy
*A job Which she willingly left twice to tape this show and then quit all together

After The Bachelor

*No boyfriend It might be good for her to learn to be on her own for a while
*Doesn't have her own place
*No job In line with being on her own, at 27 maybe it is time for Andi to learn to take care of herself and not rely on mommy and daddy or a man to support her
*Her reputation is in tatters Her own actions have done this, so sorry she has only herself to blame, she was happy to help ruin JPG's to get the bachelorette gig
*The ring she loved she must now give up sorry, to me she always seemed more in love with the ring than with Josh
*People are blaming her for the break up 1. it is now reported she did end it. 2. don't go on a show and claim you want to be married and pick a guy who is ready for marriage and kids and then get mad at him when that is what he wants

This show was the worst thing to happen to her.

I added my italics thoughts to the bold above.

Andi and Nikki both have grown to really piss me off for this reason. They both chose men who were very clear and specific about who they were and what they wanted.

JPG's first priority was his daughter and living a life in Miami with his daughter. Nikki, if you didn't want to move to Miami then here's an idea, don't pursue the man and want him to chose you.

Andi, Josh said he wanted to be married and have babies with you from the FS on. You knew that was what he wanted, so if you wanted to quit your job and try another career that is great, but if planning a wedding and having babies wasn't in your immediate plans then you made the mistake, not him.

This is a real pet peeve of mine. All the hot and wonderful chemistry in the world isn't going to save "love" if you don't want the same things in life. And to blame the man or complain that he wasn't willing to give you what you wanted, when he was very specific before hand that what you wanted wasn't going to agree with what he wants and even more so, you don't tell him that what he wants isn't what you want.

This would be a great time for Andi to grow and learn something about herself. If that happens, I could actually become a fan. But if Hy bails out his princess again and she continues to be the royal b*tch I saw for a season and half then good luck to her and since I am not impressed with the two examples of Andi's fashion designs I have seen so far, I expect in five or ten years on a road trip through Atlanta to see DUI Dorfman signs up on the highway, because she has lost most credibility to practice any serious kind of law from her own actions.

So nope, I don't feel sorry for Andi. I said it the night of the finale and AFTR when some commented that Nick wasn't a gentleman. Andi has never once acted like a lady, so I won't blame a man if he treats her the way that she acts.

Eric totally had it right!

This is well said and I agree completely :claphands

.

by notarose Sat Jan 10, 2015 1:27 am

I think TPTB were aware that a break up announcement was eminent.

That's why:
1. There was no footage shown of Chris with Andy in Epi 1 (subtle disassociation; she suddenly became invisible).
2. Andi & Josh were asked about fans in the mall (like Sean/Cat) and about wedding planning (like Marcus/Lacey) after the other couples. Again a subtle tactic, this time of comparison by anyone viewing who choice to notice.

I even think Nick was told he might not want to attend (perhaps the reason was NOT accurately given). TPTB did have to ok him giving his 2 interviews about the break up and the fact he was allowed to do so shows, me at least, that TPTB gave him positive consideration. Giving the interviews stopped any speculation about him. No dragging through the mud by media via speculation and allowed him to disassociate from their situation. All wrapped up and tied with a bow. Also, nothing for media to grab on to inorder to enhance or keep the break up story going... no secondary storyline.

And we also have Momma Murray nipping any speculation of a reconciliation in the bud in very timely fashion - wise to end before marriage is as final as it gets. Loss of another media storyline.

I also think TPTB may use a form of shunning for this break up case. By that I mean they will sweep it under the carpet as quickly as possible... not very different from how they gave so little time to Andi/Josh at the ATFR and never showed a highlight clip of their love story either. I do think Andi/Josh, during their relationship, were given noticeable less opportunity than many previous couples which signals to me that TPTB were just counting down the minutes or for whatever reason chose not to invest much or often. If one or both do seek the limelight then shunning is like a power outage..

Yep, I think it will be an "out of sight, out of mind" spin so that the focus can return to Chris' love journey, Des & Chris' wedding (even though they are doing this on their own dollar), and Marcus & Lacey's planning. The interview with Nikki F. put that season to rest so now the focus will likely be squarely on the future of the happy couples..

by **GuardianAngel** Sat Jan 10, 2015 1:30 am

notarose!

by umngirl Sat Jan 10, 2015 1:46 am

Probably really late to the party, but I'm just rewatching parts of Monday's show and I just noticed the disconnect between them sitting in the audience. Andi was turned almost completely to the side with her legs crossed into the aisle. Such odd body language but it makes sense now. Plus the OTT rubbing again when CH talked to them in the audience.

by stuckinsc Sat Jan 10, 2015 2:05 am

Great post Notarose! I still think TPTB wanted Josh as the bachelor this year and really did hope that pushing Nick at AFTR to reveal that Andi had sex with him was their last ditch effort to break them up. I have grown to assume that any words out of CH's mouth are lies or PR, if the truth falls in the PR scheme great, if not that is so not a problem for CH.

I am glad Nick was free and clear of this mess, and I am trying to care about Chris the farmer even though he is a very boring version of my UT crush, Matthew McConaughey. I am still bummed that I didn't get to stalk a taping of the bachelor here in GA and with a huge football theme, I am much more into that than farming.

by Guest Sat Jan 10, 2015 2:07 am

stuckinsc wrote:"StacyNor wrote:
"Kashathediva wrote:
When you sell a pound of flesh to MF, it's going to hurt.
I don't think I can recall a main who has come out of this completely unscathed. Perhaps Yawn, but even he got some static. Not much, though."
Has any lead ever lost as much as Andi?

Before The Bachelor

*Had a long term boyfriend who supposedly cheated on her and that was the reason why I spent the whole season watching her question and torture Josh if he really, really loved her
*Her own place which most have speculated that she couldn't afford on her salary so was probably at least partially paid for by mommy and daddy
*A job Which she willingly left twice to tape this show and then quit all together

After The Bachelor

*No boyfriend It might be good for her to learn to be on her own for a while
*Doesn't have her own place
*No job In line with being on her own, at 27 maybe it is time for Andi to learn to take care of herself and not rely on mommy and daddy or a man to support her
*Her reputation is in tatters Her own actions have done this, so sorry she has only herself to blame, she was happy to help ruin JPG's to get the bachelorette gig
*The ring she loved she must now give up sorry, to me she always seemed more in love with the ring than with Josh
*People are blaming her for the break up 1. it is now reported she did end it. 2. don't go on a show and claim you want to be married and pick a guy who is ready for marriage and kids and then get mad at him when that is what he wants

This show was the worst thing to happen to her.

I added my italics thoughts to the bold above.

Andi and Nikki both have grown to really piss me off for this reason. They both chose men who were very clear and specific about who they were and what they wanted.

JPG's first priority was his daughter and living a life in Miami with his daughter. Nikki, if you didn't want to move to Miami then here's an idea, don't pursue the man and want him to chose you.

Andi, Josh said he wanted to be married and have babies with you from the FS on. You knew that was what he wanted, so if you wanted to quit your job and try another career that is great, but if planning a wedding and having babies wasn't in your immediate plans then you made the mistake, not him.

This is a real pet peeve of mine. All the hot and wonderful chemistry in the world isn't going to save "love" if you don't want the same things in life. And to blame the man or complain that he wasn't willing to give you what you wanted, when he was very specific before hand that what you wanted wasn't going to agree with what he wants and even more so, you don't tell him that what he wants isn't what you want.

This would be a great time for Andi to grow and learn something about herself. If that happens, I could actually become a fan. But if Hy bails out his princess again and she continues to be the royal b*tch I saw for a season and half then good luck to her and since I am not impressed with the two examples of Andi's fashion designs I have seen so far, I expect in five or ten years on a road trip through Atlanta to see DUI Dorfman signs up on the highway, because she has lost most credibility to practice any serious kind of law from her own actions.

So nope, I don't feel sorry for Andi. I said it the night of the finale and AFTR when some commented that Nick wasn't a gentleman. Andi has never once acted like a lady, so I won't blame a man if he treats her the way that she acts.

Eric totally had it right!

SPOT ON !
Totally agree with you, Stuckinsc.
And many times I thought about how perspicacious Eric Hill had been !

by notarose Sat Jan 10, 2015 2:15 am

stuckinsc wrote:Great post Notarose! I still think TPTB wanted Josh as the bachelor this year and really did hope that pushing Nick at AFTR to reveal that Andi had sex with him was their last ditch effort to break them up. I have grown to assume that any words out of CH's mouth are lies or PR, if the truth falls in the PR scheme great, if not that is so not a problem for CH.

I am glad Nick was free and clear of this mess, and I am trying to care about Chris the farmer even though he is a very boring version of my UT crush, Matthew McConaughey. I am still bummed that I didn't get to stalk a taping of the bachelor here in GA and with a huge football theme, I am much more into that than farming.

I also suspected TPTB had their eye on Josh as a real Bachelor contender when the season began.

heartglasses

Matthew M. would be my kind of season

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