Bachelor In Paradise - **Finale** - Episode 7 - September 8 2014 - General Discussion - *Spoilers*

MiaHawk wrote:I know I'm biased when it comes to my little Strudel, but...

I'd bet dollars to donuts that each and every one of those 20+ very lucky ladies was treated with kindness, tenderness, and respect, whether it was for 24 minutes, 24 hours, or 24 days.

Well if he did indeed sleep with that radio host or whatever while in a relationship, then he cheated and that's the opposite of treating someone with respect. The girl he was with may have never found out, but that just makes it worse IMO. There are no excuses for cheating. And not everyone wants to be in the limelight, so just because women aren't badmouthing him in public doesn't mean everyone has a good opinion of him. I think I also read that he was living in Europe for a while playing football for a living, so most of the women he's been with probably don't even know he's been on TV, since they're in Poland or where ever.

Not trying to be a downer, but I feel like there's a lot we don't know about him, and he gives me a strange vibe. It's like he's sedated or something, dead behind the eyes. Not to mention desperate for a wife. Oh well, good luck to Lacy!

MiaHawk wrote:

Bet2Win wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:I just do not like this girl. She can't even take a compliment without turning it into a poor me situation.

Or, she's :fishing: for more.  :WAVEY:

Whether it's that she cannot take a compliment or she's fishing for more, both to me are a sign that she is lacking in self-confidence.  I hope she can grow and mature into a confident woman who finds the right guy for her.

I think she is very much lacking in self-confidence. I felt that it showed in many of her actions and comments during BIP. She way over-analyzes everything, much like Clare seems to. Shoot, much like I once did - but, geez, it will wreck your relationships faster than anything else about you.

Well, I enjoyed the show. Easy side entertainment while getting some things done on the computer, although I had to make sure my kids didn't see or hear it (some of the things they say out loud make me quite uncomfortable). I very much enjoyed the Marcus / Lacy romance, and found the Michelle and Cody match up interesting (if unexpected and a bit odd), too. Not a bad summer filler, although I do hope they make some changes to give potential couples a better chance; I very much agree with a comment I heard from Jason on one of the podcasts, where he found it incongruent how the format forced focusing on one person quickly, when in TB they always encourage an open mind and NOT focusing on one person quickly. I like my multiple roses idea; I think they could make that work.

I'm gonna chime in her about Sarah. Not that I know her personally because I don't. But I have walked in her shoes and know exactly where she is coming from deep inside. Most have no clue, and are judgemental to her actions. Because you are looking from the outside looking in. I am going to give it to you from the inside looking out.

I also was born with birth defects. In my case way more severe then Sarah's. Mine was my legs, with the ending result being a double amputee below the knees.

Life isn't normal at all even though my parents and my family made it so. And tried to teach me that I was just as good as everyone else, no different. That life is about the heart and soul, not the outer beauty.

In my case there were very few dates only in my junior/ senior years. I was never invited to proms, dances etc..And in those days you DID NOT ask the guy. It just wasn't done. You fight back the tears all the time because of the stares, whispers, laughs etc..It wasn't just in school but every where you went. Even though I wanted to wear pants most of the time. My mom made me face the world in dresses. I hated it. It is a torture within yourself. Low self esteem, more than you can even imagine. I wouldn't even wear shorts in public till I turned 30, and summer time never was at the beach. You feel you aren't good enough or worthy of love.

I moved away from home after high school and transferred with my job to a totally different state. There I met my first husband by the grace of god. Only because I would drive around my new town at night trying to get my barings of where I was living and what was where. He was a police officer who thought I might need some help. Long story short one day he just happened to show up at my house. Of course they know where you live. Easy for them to check up on.

Just like high school it was no touching of the legs. It was several dates before we even discussed my situation. And by then he had gotten to know me more than my disability. We would later marry and divorce 13 years later do to his affair.

I joined a private faternity club at the insistance of a friend. There is where I was introduced to my now husband of 25 years. Even though I have had two marriages. I don't look back at my first marriage as a negative. But a blessing that I have had 2 loves in my life when most people can't find one.

It is going to take a very special person to embrace Sarah and make her feel special about herself. That she does have worth and is capable of having that great love. She already stated she regrets jumping to conclussions with Robert. And I can totally see that. At times I felt she came across maybe needy. But I can see through that as a form of weakness and fear, just like I had. I was afraid to go on dates even when I was asked. But I would go because I was excited when someone would ask. It didn't even matter if I thought the guy was cute or not. I didn't want someone to have pity on me. But to like me for me.

I was only 23 when I married my first husband. So yes maturity will come in time. And with the blessing of Graham and some other amazing friends from the show. I can see Sarah coming out better than she ever imagined. She will feel good about herself, and life once she starts peeling off the layers of hurt she has suffered
for so long. As you will see through the show. More and more times she had her arm exposed. And that is a good sign of feeling better about herself.

So I ask please don't be so judgemental. It isn't easy on us. We are human to and want love just like everyone else. It just takes a special person to help us see the best in us. She will come around. I wish her nothing but
the best.

Who knows now that the show is over. Robert and her just might date. And they will feel as if there has been no time lapse between them. If not, some day she will find that guy who will so complete her in every way.

As far as how she felt about the fantasy date. You have see between the lines. Here you have Michelle, Cody, Marcus and Lacy all smiling and glowing with excitement of their overnight dates. Look at Sarah and Robert. It wasn't just Sarah's disappointment that she wished she had just as much as amazing time. Both of their faces showed it didn't go well. I don't think Sarah is totally off the mark on what happened. But I do think there might of been a lot of cutting and splicing in those pieces. When talking about the jeans. Later Robert posted on twitter that, that didn't happen. Who knows if it did or not. If it wasn't meant to be is just wasn't. Life goes on and so will theirs. We can only wish them all the best in love. No matter how long it takes.

BTW I do think Graham was a very big support of Sarah's. On one twitter Sarah had posted he was her rock. But I have not been able to find it since the show. Which makes me believe she deleted it. And early on in the show he said how beautiful she was. Graham doesn't just through things out there. He is a great guy. I'd love to see him as a Bachelor for sure.

Iluvbachette wrote:I'm gonna chime in her about Sarah...

This is one of the loveliest posts I've ever read on this site. Thank you so much for your insight, Iluvbachette. Bravo!

Bhaka wrote:

Iluvbachette wrote:I'm gonna chime in her about Sarah...  

This is one of the loveliest posts I've ever read on this site.  Thank you so much for your insight, Iluvbachette.  Bravo!

Agreed, thank you for sharing your story.

Very nice post Iluvbachette. Thanks for sharing with us.

That was a great post, Iluvbachette! Thank you so much with sharing your experiences with us.  

I really hope Sarah finds someone who will show her that he's attracted to her. I don't know if Robert was or not because he didn't show it. I think he's too reserved for her.

I met Graham years ago, I've attended his charity events in NYC more then once. He is a very very nice, caring person inside and out. I too think that he would make a great bachelor , he gives so much of himself to others and to charities. I would love to see him find that special one. Great guy!

Jolena wrote:I met Graham years ago, I've attended his charity events in NYC more then once.  He is a very very nice, caring person inside and out. I too think that he would make a great bachelor , he gives so much of himself to others and to charities. I  would love to see him find that special one.   Great guy!

It was wonderful to watch Graham on BIP. Definitely one of my favorite contestants ever. I would be thrilled to see him as the bachelor.

Bhaka wrote:

Jolena wrote:I met Graham years ago, I've attended his charity events in NYC more then once.  He is a very very nice, caring person inside and out. I too think that he would make a great bachelor , he gives so much of himself to others and to charities. I  would love to see him find that special one.   Great guy!

It was wonderful to watch Graham on BIP.  Definitely one of my favorite contestants ever.  I would be thrilled to see him as the bachelor.

I wonder if Graham would be a good fit, since they seem to have gone younger recently in the girls cast. At 35, it maybe that Graham actually needs that mature relationship and I don't know that the younger women of this show will give him that. Of course if they cast like they did for Byron it might work better.

I really liked Graham on the show and didn't feel any real spark between he and AshLee. I thought he liked her, but he didn't really adore her or seem to want to be with her as more than good friends. I think AshLee is a hard woman to feel that way with. She came of as sweet sometimes, then others she was trashing others. It is like there are many AshLee's and Graham seems to be more straight forward.

Jolena wrote:I met Graham years ago, I've attended his charity events in NYC more then once.  He is a very very nice, caring person inside and out. I too think that he would make a great bachelor , he gives so much of himself to others and to charities. I  would love to see him find that special one.   Great guy!

Yes! I would LOVE to see Graham as Bachelor. He is such a doll.

I really enjoyed BIP and was teary eyed during finale. I think that Lacy & Marcus are a great match. I could care less about his past.

I listened to AfterBuzz with Robert and Zack. They both loved experience and come across as great guys. I truly think that Robert is a standup guy who was unsure of how he felt about Sara so didn't take it to that next level since they both live in LA and are part of Bach Nation. Smart to not lead her on and sad that they were not on same wavelength but that's life. Zack seems to still be wistful about Jackie. If they lived in same city, I am sure he'd pursue her.

Brooks, Tasos ... come back next season if still single, please!!. Funny how gals were a bit more colorful, higher drama.