Bachelor In Paradise - **Finale** - Episode 7 - September 8 2014 - General Discussion - *Spoilers*

stuckinsc wrote:

Bhaka wrote:

Iluvbachette wrote:I'm gonna chime in her about Sarah...  

This is one of the loveliest posts I've ever read on this site.  Thank you so much for your insight, Iluvbachette.  Bravo!

Agreed, thank you for sharing your story.

I agree! Wonderful post!

Iluvbachette thank you for sharing. From the time we met Sarah on Sean's season I felt she was so brave to even put herself out there and I also understood exactly why she was feeling and saying the things she did then as well as on BIP. She's a beautiful girl and I hope she can find her great love that accepts her for her.

I know we're probably past this topic, but just have to add something about the claims against Marcus by Sydney James. Both Sydney and her sister have one thing on their mind - being famous. Whether that's by attaching themselves to Bachelor contestants or having a reality show - fame is on their mind. Whoever said that she's coming out of the woodwork now to get attention is spot on. My guess is she would love nothing more than to be in the pages of Us Weekly as the "other woman." Hopefully nobody gives her the attention she craves.

I wouldn't worry too much about Sarah. I still think something-something is brewing between her and Graham post-show. Oh sure, they seem like just "friends" on the surface. Yet they do act mighty cozy. Intriguingly, she does seem like his "type".

Regarding Robert. He was just as awkward on Clare's date and in his scenes with Michelle early in the season. The only reason he was fussin' over Lacy was because Marcus made the necessary move that Robert didn't. However, was Robert even THAT interested in Lacy? Or was he just giving excuses as to why he wasn't "connecting" with ANY female on the show? I saw more of a "connection" with Zack. The whole sleeping-with-his-trousers-on bit was exaggerated for TV, but Sarah accomplished more with him than any other female COULD on the show. At least she made it to second base. I wonder if production forced them to stick it out to the end just so there would be that third couple in the running. All joking aside, I think he takes this process slower than this TV show allows.

Sarah may be "handicapped" (and I use quotes around that word because she is still capable of scaling down buildings with Sean Lowe like Wonder Woman), but she is still... One... Hot... Chick. Most viewers with all four limbs would still LOVE to look like her.


Too bad they don't make mushy movies like this anymore. Every hot-blooded female in 1946 was eager to find herself a Homer.



By the way, doesn't Harold Russell (the actor here... and, yes, he had no hands due to a war accident) resemble Chris Soules? LOL!

Bhaka wrote:

Iluvbachette wrote:I'm gonna chime in her about Sarah...  

This is one of the loveliest posts I've ever read on this site.  Thank you so much for your insight, Iluvbachette.  Bravo!

Thank you very much for sharing your personal story. You have reminded me that even if I view a person as "the same as everyone else", nobody is really "the same" as anyone else because we all have an inner story shaped by our own unique life experiences. You were able to shed some light for me on your unique experiences and remind me that Sarah's life experiences may have been quite different from my own.

When I watch this show, I truly watch to observe people. I am fascinated by people. Many, many times I sit and scratch my head at the things that people do on this show. Afterall, there are a lot of crazy things that happen on this show! Sometimes (through the editing) we are given a little more of a person's history. That back story lays out the pieces of their puzzle and sometimes makes it easier for me to understand them. I say sometimes, because it is only sometimes that what I glean from this show can shed the light that I need to fully understand them.

Often times it is only after "thinking aloud" (aka posting here) and reading other poster's input that my opinions are further honed and/or challenged. I love this board because I get additional facts or insights from a variety of people from all stages and walks of life. Thank you again for sharing your story and for allowing me (and, I'm sure, many other "less verbal" members) to perhaps understand Sarah a little bit better.

MiaHawk wrote:

Bhaka wrote:

Iluvbachette wrote:I'm gonna chime in her about Sarah...  

This is one of the loveliest posts I've ever read on this site.  Thank you so much for your insight, Iluvbachette.  Bravo!

Thank you very much for sharing your personal story.  You have reminded me that even if I view a person as "the same as everyone else", nobody is really "the same" as anyone else because we all have an inner story shaped by our own unique life experiences. You were able to shed some light for me on your unique experiences and remind me that Sarah's life experiences may have been quite different from my own.  

When I watch this show, I truly watch to observe people. I am fascinated by people.  Many, many times I sit and scratch my head at the things that people do on this show. Afterall, there are a lot of crazy things that happen on this show!  Sometimes (through the editing) we are given a little more of a person's history. That back story lays out the pieces of their puzzle and sometimes makes it easier for me to understand them. I say sometimes, because it is only sometimes that what I glean from this show can shed the light that I need to fully understand them.  

Often times it is only after "thinking aloud" (aka posting here) and reading other poster's input that my opinions are further honed and/or challenged. I love this board because I get additional facts or insights from a variety of people from all stages and walks of life. Thank you again for sharing your story and for allowing me (and, I'm sure, many other "less verbal" members) to perhaps understand Sarah a little bit better.              

Great posts everyone, and I like this one from you Mia a lot. Similar thinking got me starting the Galleries I do for the contestants. I like trying to figure out a litle more than what we are given on screen... simple things like jobs (Josh is more than an ex-athlete, Lacy has a very dedicated career...) and some more complex (Marcus' difficult childhood, etc. ) so I can look at them as human beings with qualities and flaws but also a history that makes them special.

MVMom39forever wrote:

Jolena wrote:I met Graham years ago, I've attended his charity events in NYC more then once.  He is a very very nice, caring person inside and out. I too think that he would make a great bachelor , he gives so much of himself to others and to charities. I  would love to see him find that special one.   Great guy!

Yes! I would LOVE to see Graham as Bachelor. He is such a doll.

I really enjoyed BIP and was teary eyed during finale. I think that Lacy & Marcus are a great match. I could care less about his past.

I listened to AfterBuzz with Robert and Zack. They both loved experience and come across as great guys. I truly think that Robert is a standup guy who was unsure of how he felt about Sara so didn't take it to that next level since they both live in LA and are part of Bach Nation. Smart to not lead her on and sad that they were not on same wavelength but that's life. Zack seems to still be wistful about Jackie. If they lived in same city, I am sure he'd pursue her.

Brooks, Tasos ... come back next season if still single, please!!. Funny how gals were a bit more colorful, higher drama.

I heard Robert on Afterbuzz and I agree with your assessment. It sounded like he liked Sarah, and would have been happy to continue to date her back in CA, but didn't want to get intimate with her for fear that she would interpret it as more of a committed interest and a promise of exclusivity he wasn't ready to give her at that point. Unfortunately, because of Sarah's insecurities about her own attractiveness, coupled with comparing her night to the other two women who got very physical with their guys (and Michelle, bless her heart, really decided to blab all the details, which none of us needed to hear, especially Sarah in her frame of mind), it kind of created another one of those perfect storms for her to get upset and go off on Robert. I think Robert was actually shocked by her reaction, because he thought he was doing a nice thing by being a gentleman with her, only to get blasted for it.

In retrospect, it's possible that this miscommunication on both their parts highlighted why they wouldn't be right for each other anyway. I suspect that Robert is not an overly physically affectionate guy, and Sarah apparently needs that. She should find herself a Cody Code.

sophienette wrote:

MiaHawk wrote:

Bhaka wrote:

This is one of the loveliest posts I've ever read on this site.  Thank you so much for your insight, Iluvbachette.  Bravo!

Thank you very much for sharing your personal story.  You have reminded me that even if I view a person as "the same as everyone else", nobody is really "the same" as anyone else because we all have an inner story shaped by our own unique life experiences. You were able to shed some light for me on your unique experiences and remind me that Sarah's life experiences may have been quite different from my own.  

When I watch this show, I truly watch to observe people. I am fascinated by people.  Many, many times I sit and scratch my head at the things that people do on this show. Afterall, there are a lot of crazy things that happen on this show!  Sometimes (through the editing) we are given a little more of a person's history. That back story lays out the pieces of their puzzle and sometimes makes it easier for me to understand them. I say sometimes, because it is only sometimes that what I glean from this show can shed the light that I need to fully understand them.  

Often times it is only after "thinking aloud" (aka posting here) and reading other poster's input that my opinions are further honed and/or challenged. I love this board because I get additional facts or insights from a variety of people from all stages and walks of life. Thank you again for sharing your story and for allowing me (and, I'm sure, many other "less verbal" members) to perhaps understand Sarah a little bit better.              

Great posts everyone, and I like this one from you Mia a lot. Similar thinking got me starting the Galleries I do for the contestants. I like trying to figure out a litle more than what we are given on screen... simple things like jobs (Josh is more than an ex-athlete, Lacy has a very dedicated career...) and some more complex (Marcus' difficult childhood, etc. ) so I can look at them as human beings with qualities and flaws but also a history that makes them special.

I agree! Great posts everyone. That's what this forum should be(and is mostly all) about.

ironcat wrote:

MVMom39forever wrote:

Jolena wrote:I met Graham years ago, I've attended his charity events in NYC more then once.  He is a very very nice, caring person inside and out. I too think that he would make a great bachelor , he gives so much of himself to others and to charities. I  would love to see him find that special one.   Great guy!

Yes! I would LOVE to see Graham as Bachelor. He is such a doll.

I really enjoyed BIP and was teary eyed during finale. I think that Lacy & Marcus are a great match. I could care less about his past.

I listened to AfterBuzz with Robert and Zack. They both loved experience and come across as great guys. I truly think that Robert is a standup guy who was unsure of how he felt about Sara so didn't take it to that next level since they both live in LA and are part of Bach Nation. Smart to not lead her on and sad that they were not on same wavelength but that's life. Zack seems to still be wistful about Jackie. If they lived in same city, I am sure he'd pursue her.

Brooks, Tasos ... come back next season if still single, please!!. Funny how gals were a bit more colorful, higher drama.

I heard Robert on Afterbuzz and I agree with your assessment.  It sounded like he liked Sarah, and would have been happy to continue to date her back in CA, but didn't want to get intimate with her for fear that she would interpret it as more of a committed interest and a promise of exclusivity he wasn't ready to give her at that point.  Unfortunately, because of Sarah's insecurities about her own attractiveness, coupled with comparing her night to the other two women who got very physical with their guys (and Michelle, bless her heart, really decided to blab all the details, which none of us needed to hear, especially Sarah in her frame of mind), it kind of created another one of those perfect storms for her to get upset and go off on Robert.  I think Robert was actually shocked by her reaction, because he thought he was doing a nice thing by being a gentleman with her, only to get blasted for it.  

In retrospect, it's possible that this miscommunication on both their parts highlighted why they wouldn't be right for each other anyway.  I suspect that Robert is not an overly physically affectionate guy, and Sarah apparently needs that.  She should find herself a Cody Code.

I was thinking the same thing regarding Cody Code. I think that a man who is very demonstrative with his feelings and physically warm, like Cody, might be the kind of guy that Sarah needs. Who knew we'd be looking to clone Cody!?!?

MiaHawk wrote:Who knew we'd be looking to clone Cody!?!?      

She will find an excuse with everyone she meets. I understand her emotional problems that she may have because of her appearance, but you either deal with it, get help if you need it, do whatever it takes to like yourself. Otherwise she'll never change. You can't keep doing the same thing and expect different outcomes. It was wrong of her to expect Robert to have sex with her, just because, and now using that as an excuse. She wanted him to fight for her. What's up with women wanting men to fight for them. Stop playing games, and maybe there won't be any fighting necessary.

Breaking up with Robert broke my heart (twice). If this had happened back in L.A., I probably would have had a conversation with Robert and tried to work it out instead of impulsively dumping him. But Chris Harrison takes no prisoners and there was no time for “working it out.” Admittedly, by my seventh word in, I wondered if I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. Had I overanalyzed the situation and let the pressure of Chris’s ultimatum impair my judgment? Here I am looking at a smart, funny, genuine man who has treated me so well, yet I am making him cry. It sucked. This was a man who took me swimming every day, brought me ice cream, sent me sweet notes, called me his “bae,” and protected me from every new guy that entered Paradise… and he’s suddenly not enough. What’s wrong with me!? I’m still not sure, but I know I wanted him to fight back.
Parade - Sarah

I don't necessarily believe that Sarah was expecting sex with Robert in the FS, but she was expecting more interest to be shown by him---both via conversation and physical affection. The spark fizzled in the FS instead of igniting. It was part of the process of "testing" the relationships, like CH said. And their relationship failed that test. Perhaps without other people or external distractions, the relationship could not stay afloat. Simple as that. It happens. In group settings you can be laughing and having a good time, and then when it's just you and him, crickets. It's a red flag, a sign that you're not meant to be together. The editing made it seem like it was because of the jeans and no sex, but it was more about how that night didn't live up to her expectations of making her feel special, loved, desired, or that the relationship was moving forward in a romantic direction.

I also don't understand all of the angst over CH telling them to decide if they wanted to date IRL. Say yes to dating or break up. What's the big deal about saying yes to dating IRL when you live 10 minutes away? It's not like TPTB were going to do bed checks on them every night, was it? What would have been the big deal if they said they wanted to date IRL and shortly thereafter they broke up? Isn't that what happens all of the time with this stupid franchise? if she really felt that Robert could be a good boyfriend to her, she would have been wise to agree to date him and see where it went in the weeks to come. But, I think she knew in her gut that "it" wasn't there. Nobody's fault. Just wasn't in the cards. The vast majority of the tears on this show are grief that love didn't happen for them, rather than grief that they are saying goodbye to someone.