Re: Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray Bachelorette 10 - Media - Twitter - General Discussion Thread

[stuckinsc]

IC, you bring up a valid point, do we know if Nick would act differently than Josh in the same situation and we have no idea.

Andi seems to really enjoy continuing to take digs at Nick.  He has been silent for 13 days and not mentioned.  She is the one keeping the story alive.  

Yes, they media keeps asking about Nick, because she keeps reacting.  If she said, I am so happy and in love with Josh and showed no animosity to Nick, the interviewers would quit asking.  There would be no story in it.

Andi once again is showing that when things don't go her way, she is mean and petulant.  I am fine with that.  It cements to me that my impressions of her weren't wrong.  Josh has successfully challenged her with the lie detector, so I hope that he can continue to learn and grow.

Very much in your opinion. I don't see the petulance or meanness you read in Andi's behavior.  IMO she is handling things well, albeit with a wicked sense of humor.    

Physical violence in my opinion is never funny. Just like someone being bipolar isn't funny.

IMO, she is the one continuing to discuss Nick, if she didn't make her "wicked" funny comments, then the reporters and everyone else would move on to their happiness. But then again, to me someone that you keep mentioning in that way is someone you still care very much about. I don't give that kind of attention to people I don't care about.

[Lucas15]

As for Andi, she knew her future mother-in-law was hosting a viewing party, so did she come out and try to be gentle and calm the situation?  Knowing that whatever happened her MIL would see?  Nope she came out very rigid and telling Nick that she never loved him and never said she did. Doesn't sound like the smart way to avoid having your MIL embarrassed in front of her friends.

This is a "damned if you do / damned if you don't" situation and every lead faces it. If you "please" one group of people by saying "it was love at first sight" then you offend everyone else who would think "if you knew all along why did you lead me on?". But if you say "Gee I was conflicted to the very end and finally picked XXX" then you offend the one you picked by making it seem like you really didn't have strong feelings for them ever and almost had to flip a coin at the end. You just can't win - all you can do is choose who is going to damn you.

Probably the best thing a lead can do is answer this situation in such a way as to best secure their future - by flattering the one you did pick and pleasing their family and friends because that's your future; the ones you will offend by doing this are your past. So to me Andi did exactly the smart thing to do because her MIL really doesn't care about Nick or anyone else on the show except her son and her son's fiancee.

[sdmom]

I have a question:
I am really bothered by Andi's making fun of JPG's accent. Because like him, English is not my native language. No matter how hard I've tried, it's nearly impossible to get rid of the accent.
Has Andi apologized for it or shown any regrets?

[eirekay]

IC, you bring up a valid point, do we know if Nick would act differently than Josh in the same situation and we have no idea.

Andi seems to really enjoy continuing to take digs at Nick.  He has been silent for 13 days and not mentioned.  She is the one keeping the story alive.  

Yes, they media keeps asking about Nick, because she keeps reacting.  If she said, I am so happy and in love with Josh and showed no animosity to Nick, the interviewers would quit asking.  There would be no story in it.

Andi once again is showing that when things don't go her way, she is mean and petulant.  I am fine with that.  It cements to me that my impressions of her weren't wrong.  Josh has successfully challenged her with the lie detector, so I hope that he can continue to learn and grow.

It is a valid point!    On the other hand, how would this board react if Nick described Andi as a word that rhymes with "itch"? He would be tarred and feathered pretty quickly IMO.

[eirekay]

As for Andi, she knew her future mother-in-law was hosting a viewing party, so did she come out and try to be gentle and calm the situation?  Knowing that whatever happened her MIL would see?  Nope she came out very rigid and telling Nick that she never loved him and never said she did. Doesn't sound like the smart way to avoid having your MIL embarrassed in front of her friends.

This is a "damned if you do / damned if you don't" situation and every lead faces it. If you "please" one group of people by saying "it was love at first sight" then you offend everyone else who would think "if you knew all along why did you lead me on?". But if you say "Gee I was conflicted to the very end and finally picked XXX" then you offend the one you picked by making it seem like you really didn't have strong feelings for them ever and almost had to flip a coin at the end. You just can't win - all you can do is choose who is going to damn you.

Probably the best thing a lead can do is answer this situation in such a way as to best secure their future - by flattering the one you did pick and pleasing their family and friends because that's your future; the ones you will offend by doing this are your past. So to me Andi did exactly the smart thing to do because her MIL really doesn't care about Nick or anyone else on the show except her son and her son's fiancee.

I think a lead can answer "I took each relationship separately and tried to let myself experience all that each man had to offer. When I really looked into my heart, I knew that I loved F1 - that my feelings were deeper and stronger for him, even thought I cared deeply for F2 as well."

[isittrue]

As for Andi, she knew her future mother-in-law was hosting a viewing party, so did she come out and try to be gentle and calm the situation?  Knowing that whatever happened her MIL would see?  Nope she came out very rigid and telling Nick that she never loved him and never said she did. Doesn't sound like the smart way to avoid having your MIL embarrassed in front of her friends.

This is a "damned if you do / damned if you don't" situation and every lead faces it. If you "please" one group of people by saying "it was love at first sight" then you offend everyone else who would think "if you knew all along why did you lead me on?". But if you say "Gee I was conflicted to the very end and finally picked XXX" then you offend the one you picked by making it seem like you really didn't have strong feelings for them ever and almost had to flip a coin at the end. You just can't win - all you can do is choose who is going to damn you.

Probably the best thing a lead can do is answer this situation in such a way as to best secure their future - by flattering the one you did pick and pleasing their family and friends because that's your future; the ones you will offend by doing this are your past. So to me Andi did exactly the smart thing to do because her MIL really doesn't care about Nick or anyone else on the show except her son and her son's fiancee.

I think a lead can answer "I took each relationship separately and tried to let myself experience all that each man had to offer.  When I really looked into my heart, I knew that I loved F1 - that my feelings were deeper and stronger for him, even thought I cared deeply for F2 as well."

Perfectly put!

[Acrunch]

It is a valid point!    On the other hand, how would this board react if Nick described Andi as a word that rhymes with "itch"?  He would be tarred and feathered pretty quickly IMO.

I think he pretty much did even if he didn't use that word specifically. Come on now...cold, unfeeling, unsympathetic, IJS.

[sdmom]

IC, you bring up a valid point, do we know if Nick would act differently than Josh in the same situation and we have no idea.

Andi seems to really enjoy continuing to take digs at Nick.  He has been silent for 13 days and not mentioned.  She is the one keeping the story alive.  

Yes, they media keeps asking about Nick, because she keeps reacting.  If she said, I am so happy and in love with Josh and showed no animosity to Nick, the interviewers would quit asking.  There would be no story in it.

Andi once again is showing that when things don't go her way, she is mean and petulant.  I am fine with that.  It cements to me that my impressions of her weren't wrong.  Josh has successfully challenged her with the lie detector, so I hope that he can continue to learn and grow.

It is a valid point!    On the other hand, how would this board react if Nick described Andi as a word that rhymes with "itch"?  He would be tarred and feathered pretty quickly IMO.

I don't know why, but the bolded part makes me   
Anyway, he's been called d-bag, jerk, jacka$$ on this board.
I have no problem with double standards, because I know I am guilty of it when it comes to my fav!

[Acrunch]

It is a valid point!    On the other hand, how would this board react if Nick described Andi as a word that rhymes with "itch"?  He would be tarred and feathered pretty quickly IMO.

I think he pretty much did even if he didn't use that word specifically. Come on now...cold, unfeeling, unsympathetic, IJS.

I think a lead can answer "I took each relationship separately and tried to let myself experience all that each man had to offer. When I really looked into my heart, I knew that I loved F1 - that my feelings were deeper and stronger for him, even thought I cared deeply for F2 as well."

But she did say all those type of things during AFR before Nick "asked". She said her relationship with him was great and there was nothing wrong with it or Nick but that it came down to having something greater with Josh. The only think she couldn't/wouldn't say is that she was "in" love with Nick and that's what set him off. Anything short of her telling him that she was in love with him would have ended the same way.

[Alanna]

It is a valid point!    On the other hand, how would this board react if Nick described Andi as a word that rhymes with "itch"?  He would be tarred and feathered pretty quickly IMO.

I think he pretty much did even if he didn't use that word specifically.  Come on now...cold, unfeeling, unsympathetic, IJS.

I think a lead can answer "I took each relationship separately and tried to let myself experience all that each man had to offer. When I really looked into my heart, I knew that I loved F1 - that my feelings were deeper and stronger for him, even thought I cared deeply for F2 as well."

But she did say all those type of things during AFR before Nick "asked".   She said her relationship with him was great and there was nothing wrong with it or Nick but that it came down to having something greater with Josh.  The only think she couldn't/wouldn't say is that she was "in" love with Nick and that's what set him off.  Anything short of her telling him that she was in love with him would have ended the same way.  

Exactly. Nick says Jodi is great and wishes them well while simultaneously doing more than any f2 in the history of this show to break them up and humiliate her live on camera. He is just so manipulative in my eyes, it's obscene.

[BohemianNika]

I don't know about y'all (   I went there), but my hearing can be sometimes colored by my preconceived opinion of certain person. I like Andi, and I really didn't feel that what she said was coming from a bad place. I honestly thought she was trying to take the funny way out of it and referred to Kelly's tweet, while talking to her best friend's husband, on a radio.

Now, if you are Nick's fan, or just don't like Andi, listening to the same interview, you hear a mean spirited comment.

Just because we think we know how she meant it, doesn't make it true. Our opinions aren't facts.

[Lucas15]

I think a lead can answer "I took each relationship separately and tried to let myself experience all that each man had to offer. When I really looked into my heart, I knew that I loved F1 - that my feelings were deeper and stronger for him, even thought I cared deeply for F2 as well."

But she did say all those type of things during AFR before Nick "asked".   She said her relationship with him was great and there was nothing wrong with it or Nick but that it came down to having something greater with Josh.  The only think she couldn't/wouldn't say is that she was "in" love with Nick and that's what set him off.  Anything short of her telling him that she was in love with him would have ended the same way.  

Indeed she did say something very close to this. My notes (a paraphrase not a transcription) were:

Andi explains that she was not in love with him and she never said that she was in love with him and was very careful to never say that she was. She says she did have a great relationship with Nick and that she 100% believes that if she had it all to do all over again she would still have a great relationship with Nick. She admits that "it sounds harsh to say but how do you compete with a greater relationship". There was nothing wrong with their relationship but "something else was more right". She said it's tough to say face to face and perhaps she should have said it earlier but at the end of the day "that is the truth".

And that was what prompted Nick to ask "the question".

[Sponsored content]