Re: Nick Viall - Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - Thread #6

[lavenderred]

Author and 'Bachelorette' superfan Jennifer Weiner: Stop the shame game!

Jennifer Weiner
TODAY contributor

So, yes, Nick, we know you did it. But, clearly, knowing that we know wasn’t enough. Nick wanted to plant his flag (and, maybe, to let victor Josh Murray know that Andi may not have chosen Nick, but that he got there first). It was churlish and ungentlemanly at best, slut-shaming and sloppy-seconding at worst, a way of slapping a scarlet 'S' on a woman’s chest with the whole world — including her newly announced fiancé and, presumably, her parents — looking on.

http://www.today.com/entertainment/bachelorette-andi-dorfman-shouldnt-be-shamed-says-jennifer-weiner-1D79993348

[chloep]

Now i wonder if the shoe was on the other foot

Been wondering the same thing. Kinda.   

What if the roles were reserved?

Nick would be the lead who slept with XX, who told him that she loved him and that she sees sex as a big deal(Fiance stuff) and that it means the world to her.... Nick would have gone out of his way to reassure XX the whole season, even on their very last date. Then approximately 8hrs after telling her that "she has nothing to worry about" he'd show up and dump XX in an almost callous, cold and unfeeling way, with no reason given, zero sympathy shown.
Nick then would get engaged approximately 8 hrs later to OO, a girl he slept with 4 days after sleeping with XX and tell her that she has been the one from the beginning.
XX would try to contact Nick to finally gain a better understanding of things, Nick would rebuff every single of her attempts, nor would he try to contact her in private.
XX would show up to the ATFR hurt, visible shaken, fighting tears, her whole body shaking. She would go on to say that she wishes them well but that she has no idea what the freak has happened.
Here comes Nick, frowning, acting like a total dick towards XX, cold, menacing, unfeeling, zero sympathy shown despite XX being clearly shaken. He'd refuse to give her any answers, and eventually would say that he has never loved her....
XX visible shaken, with tears in her eyes would ask him if he really never loved her, than why did he make love to her, knowing how much sex meant to XX and that XX did not expect sex that night at all...
Nick would seethe from anger(that the picture of the perfect couple of him & OO is destroyed) and continue to say nothing and not show even the resemblance of remorse/sympathy..



SURE. People would say "oh, poor Nick.".... NOT.

[chloep]

_______________________________

We're all for women sleeping with whomever they want without being publicly shamed for it, as long as they're honest with their partners. In all our advice writing, we encourage (read: demand) that people treat their sex partners with respect, open communication and forthrightness -- no matter their gender. That's basic human decency.

Of course, decency is not a commodity television usually trades in. It's a testament to the perverse power of reality TV that anyone thinks Nick should have acted any differently or that Andi acted nobly.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/em-and-lo/the-bachelorette-what-happens-in-the-fantasy-suite-stays-in-the-fantasy-suite_b_5631391.html

[BachfanNY]

http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/nick-viall-interview-i-only-revealed-i-had-sex-with-the-bachelorette-star-andi-dorfman-because-she-was-so-cold-16568.php

Nick's a vindictive, immature ass.

Interesting, Nick wanted empathy.



He watched this show before so he well knew there could be a 50% chance he would be F2 and that Andi could just as much have slept with and fallen in love with her other guy. He had to know it wasn't easy for Andi to dump him. He asks for empathy and yet has a hard time giving it to Andi. Does he even realize what he's saying or does it just apply to him??  

[Relalou]

Now i wonder if the shoe was on the other foot

Been wondering the same thing. Kinda.   

What if the roles were reserved?

Nick would be the lead who slept with XX, who told him that she loved him and that she sees sex as a big deal(Fiance stuff) and that it means the world to her.... Nick would have gone out of his way to reassure XX the whole season, even on their very last date. Then approximately 8hrs after telling her that "she has nothing to worry about" he'd show up and dump XX in an almost callous, cold and unfeeling way, with no reason given, zero sympathy shown.
Nick then would get engaged approximately 8 hrs later to OO, a girl he slept with 4 days after sleeping with XX and tell her that she has been the one from the beginning.
XX would try to contact Nick to finally gain a better understanding of things, Nick would rebuff every single of her attempts, nor would he try to contact her in private.
XX would show up to the ATFR hurt, visible shaken, fighting tears, her whole body shaking. She would go on to say that she wishes them well but that she has no idea what the freak has happened.
Here comes Nick, frowning, acting like a total dick towards XX, cold, menacing, unfeeling, zero sympathy shown despite XX being clearly shaken. He'd refuse to give her any answers, and eventually would say that he has never loved her....
XX visible shaken, with tears in her eyes would ask him if he really never loved her, than why did he make love to her, knowing how much sex meant to XX and that XX did not expect sex that night at all...
Nick would seethe from anger(that the picture of the perfect couple of him & OO is destroyed) and continue to say nothing and not show even the resemblance of remorse/sympathy..



SURE. People would say "oh, poor Nick.".... NOT.

But it wasn't on the other foot, and he said what he said and he revealed his complete lack of character IMO. Andi didn't seem menacing at all to me, just awkward and trying to be present for him but also true to herself and her new fiancé. Nick is now now saying he responded to her "coldness" by revealing this, so that is his justification. That is revenge and not mourning and that is certainly not something to be applauded, again IMO.

[isittrue]

Now i wonder if the shoe was on the other foot

Been wondering the same thing. Kinda.   

What if the roles were reserved?

Nick would be the lead who slept with XX, who told him that she loved him and that she sees sex as a big deal(Fiance stuff) and that it means the world to her.... Nick would have gone out of his way to reassure XX the whole season, even on their very last date. Then approximately 8hrs after telling her that "she has nothing to worry about" he'd show up and dump XX in an almost callous, cold and unfeeling way, with no reason given, zero sympathy shown.
Nick then would get engaged approximately 8 hrs later to OO, a girl he slept with 4 days after sleeping with XX and tell her that she has been the one from the beginning.
XX would try to contact Nick to finally gain a better understanding of things, Nick would rebuff every single of her attempts, nor would he try to contact her in private.
XX would show up to the ATFR hurt, visible shaken, fighting tears, her whole body shaking. She would go on to say that she wishes them well but that she has no idea what the freak has happened.
Here comes Nick, frowning, acting like a total dick towards XX, cold, menacing, unfeeling, zero sympathy shown despite XX being clearly shaken. He'd refuse to give her any answers, and eventually would say that he has never loved her....
XX visible shaken, with tears in her eyes would ask him if he really never loved her, than why did he make love to her, knowing how much sex meant to XX and that XX did not expect sex that night at all...
Nick would seethe from anger(that the picture of the perfect couple of him & OO is destroyed) and continue to say nothing and not show even the resemblance of remorse/sympathy..



SURE. People would say "oh, poor Nick.".... NOT.

Excellent post Chloe and there is definitely a double standard here.

[chloep]

Now i wonder if the shoe was on the other foot

Been wondering the same thing. Kinda.  

What if the roles were reserved?

Nick would be the lead who slept with XX, who told him that she loved him and that she sees sex as a big deal(Fiance stuff) and that it means the world to her.... Nick would have gone out of his way to reassure XX the whole season, even on their very last date. Then approximately 8hrs after telling her that "she has nothing to worry about" he'd show up and dump XX in an almost callous, cold and unfeeling way, with no reason given, zero sympathy shown.
Nick then would get engaged approximately 8 hrs later to OO, a girl he slept with 4 days after sleeping with XX and tell her that she has been the one from the beginning.
XX would try to contact Nick to finally gain a better understanding of things, Nick would rebuff every single of her attempts, nor would he try to contact her in private.
XX would show up to the ATFR hurt, visible shaken, fighting tears, her whole body shaking. She would go on to say that she wishes them well but that she has no idea what the freak has happened.
Here comes Nick, frowning, acting like a total dick towards XX, cold, menacing, unfeeling, zero sympathy shown despite XX being clearly shaken. He'd refuse to give her any answers, and eventually would say that he has never loved her....
XX visible shaken, with tears in her eyes would ask him if he really never loved her, than why did he make love to her, knowing how much sex meant to XX and that XX did not expect sex that night at all...
Nick would seethe from anger(that the picture of the perfect couple of him & OO is destroyed) and continue to say nothing and not show even the resemblance of remorse/sympathy..



SURE. People would say "oh, poor Nick.".... NOT.

But it wasn't on the other foot, and he said what he said and he revealed his complete lack of character IMO.  Andi didn't seem menacing at all to me, just awkward and trying to be present for him but also true to herself and her new fiancé.  Nick is now now saying he responded to her "coldness" by revealing this, so that is his justification.  That is revenge and not mourning and that is certainly not something to be applauded, again IMO.

IMO, if you didn't think that Andi acted unfeeling and cold and did not have her RBF on then you must have watched a different show(or are simply trying to come to terms with the fact that Andi banged another guy, while maintaining that she has always loved Josh, her fiancé.... and I would actually genuinely understand the latter.  [ETA: that's kinda creepy smiley, but I am serious.] It is a difficult and messy situation for those who supported this couple on the belief that they shared this incredible love story. On another day, if I had been more invested in the spoiled couple(or the lead) I may have been one of those supporters/fans. I am sure it's not easy. You either have to accept it as it is or try to vent to lessen the blow.)


RBF in full action:

[FLChica]

Now i wonder if the shoe was on the other foot

Been wondering the same thing. Kinda.   

What if the roles were reserved?

Nick would be the lead who slept with XX, who told him that she loved him and that she sees sex as a big deal(Fiance stuff) and that it means the world to her.... Nick would have gone out of his way to reassure XX the whole season, even on their very last date. Then approximately 8hrs after telling her that "she has nothing to worry about" he'd show up and dump XX in an almost callous, cold and unfeeling way, with no reason given, zero sympathy shown.
Nick then would get engaged approximately 8 hrs later to OO, a girl he slept with 4 days after sleeping with XX and tell her that she has been the one from the beginning.
XX would try to contact Nick to finally gain a better understanding of things, Nick would rebuff every single of her attempts, nor would he try to contact her in private.
XX would show up to the ATFR hurt, visible shaken, fighting tears, her whole body shaking. She would go on to say that she wishes them well but that she has no idea what the freak has happened.
Here comes Nick, frowning, acting like a total dick towards XX, cold, menacing, unfeeling, zero sympathy shown despite XX being clearly shaken. He'd refuse to give her any answers, and eventually would say that he has never loved her....
XX visible shaken, with tears in her eyes would ask him if he really never loved her, than why did he make love to her, knowing how much sex meant to XX and that XX did not expect sex that night at all...
Nick would seethe from anger(that the picture of the perfect couple of him & OO is destroyed) and continue to say nothing and not show even the resemblance of remorse/sympathy..



SURE. People would say "oh, poor Nick.".... NOT.

Thanks for taking the time to write all of this out chloep.  Nick - or any Bachelor - would be vilified forever if he behaved this way toward his F2!  Double standard much?

[chloep]

Wait... Just reading my post.... It is supposed to be "reversed" not "reserved". Obviously...

[luvlady345]

Chloep, LOL wow how to misinterpret what I posted. If the shoe was on the other foot, I am saying how would Nick feel or react if this was one of his sister's who a man did this to how would he feel?

[chloep]

^^ I know. Hence the "Kinda." and the  

I am sure he wouldn't be fan at all. But then again, I doubt he would be a fan of what his sister did to said guy either.... That's my point. The complete refusal of some people to see the situation for what it was. (Not just his comment, but the preceding events.) The complete refusal to see it from both sides(no matter what fandom you are a part of.)

[CHO]

Major major problem I see in all of this is -- what on earth is Andi doing sleeping with Nick when she is about to be engaged to Josh ? What are you thinking, Andi ?
Unbelievable !

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