Re: Nick Viall - Bachelorette 10 Contestant - Spoilers - Discussion - Thread #5

[dw_a_mom]

MiaHawk, you are ON today!

Thanks

[MiaHawk]

Thanks, everybody. I'm just trying to have fun.   

[happygolucky]

I have a question for all who wish to enlighten me:

What did Nick do to deserve to be called:
creep, serial killer, douchebag?

I would like to know why those names?

Thank you.

PS. I find him handsome even in his scarves (maybe it is European style, because men here do wear them when gets chilly), he may not be the pretty-face like Josh, but has an amazing body and a great mind, so that makes him sexy in my book.

[sdmom]

I have a question for all who wish to enlighten me:

What did Nick do to deserve to be called:
creep, serial killer, douchebag?

I would like to know why those names?

Thank you.

PS. I find him handsome even in his scarves (maybe it is European style, because men here do wear them when gets chilly), he may not be the pretty-face like Josh, but has an amazing body and a great mind, so that makes him sexy in my book.

Nothing. Nothing at all. In fact, no one on this show is deserved such harsh negativity.
Btw. I love how he wears his scarf.

[mtnlvr55]

I have a question for all who wish to enlighten me:

What did Nick do to deserve to be called:
creep, serial killer, douchebag?

I would like to know why those names?

Thank you.

PS. I find him handsome even in his scarves (maybe it is European style, because men here do wear them when gets chilly), he may not be the pretty-face like Josh, but has an amazing body and a great mind, so that makes him sexy in my book.

I my opinion, nothing. He played "the game" and I can see why the guys didn't like that.  He violated "man code" on numerous occasions (interrupting dates when he had a rose, not putting bros before H*es, etc.)
He did get edited to get Andi's key without showing any id: that would be weird and creepy if it were not for this show and the cameras that "set up his behavior."
People do get into camps this point in the season and feel the need to throw the other party under the bus if they feel their chosen one isn't "winning."

[Tiggerlgh]

I have a question for all who wish to enlighten me:

What did Nick do to deserve to be called:
creep, serial killer, douchebag?

I would like to know why those names?

Thank you.

PS. I find him handsome even in his scarves (maybe it is European style, because men here do wear them when gets chilly), he may not be the pretty-face like Josh, but has an amazing body and a great mind, so that makes him sexy in my book.

Nothing IMHO, but I didn't call him or any of these guys names (except hottie, Cuttie, etc).

You have to ask the people that called him names...why?

[happygolucky]

thanks ... Tigg, it's fine, I didn't read any of you here on this forum call him like that ... but on twitter and facebook that's how he is called mostly ... so I want to understand ... if any of you understand it better than me, to explain why this position of women writing such a harsh opinions, btw - women of all ages.

[dw_a_mom]

thanks ... Tigg, it's fine, I didn't read any of you here on this forum call him like that ... but on twitter and facebook that's how he is called mostly ... so I want to understand ... if any of you understand it better than me, to explain why this position of women writing such a harsh opinions, btw - women of all ages.

I don't get it at all; I know he has been intentionally edited to create doubt (ie the arrogance and douche bag stuff), but to me it seems so obvious that there is so much more there, and I love his subtle ways with Andi. I was pretty surprised that Molly Mesnick doesn't like him; I guess that he's mostly just not the typical "type" for this show, but why is that a bad thing? Sometimes people are so herd.

[MiaHawk]

I do not read twitter or fb or instagram or any SM (unless somebody here posts it....thank you to those who do!). The closest thing to SM that I actively participate in is this forum.  In general, I think there is a lot of anonymous nastiness that comes with online posting and SM.  People, myself included, forget at times that their comments go out into the big wide world for many, many to see. The instantaneousness of thinking a thought, putting it into print, and circulating it to the masses, creates an easy way to spew anger or say mean things.  There is a 'mob mentality' to it, too.  So people get emboldened by the nastiness of other posters and often try to one-up the others with their snark or nastiness.  

Time for an apology...if I have crossed a line, if I have been unnecessarily harsh, or if I have offended anyone, it wasn't my intent.  I will try to do better.  Yet I cannot promise all hearts and rainbows.

It seems to me (amongst the teens, 20s and 30s) that douchebag is a very commonly used word.  As far as I can tell, people use it synonimously with jerk or a$$.  And they say it openly and freely.  When I grew up the only time you heard the word douche or douchebag was when those embarrassing Summer's Eve commercials came onto the tv while you were sitting next to your parents watching the Carol Burnett Show.  Today, douchebag is the new a-hole.

My little Strudel called Nick a douchebag on the show, or at least that is how it looked with the editting(that they were speaking about Nick).  I think, if I can speak for Marcus, he said it because while he didn't think Nick was a horrible person, that he did not like some of his attitudes (smugness, strongly assertive, dry humor) and some of his choices (taking time with Andi at RCs when he already had a rose...a problem each season with at least one person, his open and verbal dislike for the GDs could have rubbed those men who had only been on GDs the wrong way, or his sneak over right after Marcus' one on one...if Marcus found out about that I could see him being very upset).  I think that people tend to (as I just demonstrated above) speak for their favorites.  So, if Nick slighted or annoyed a particular guy, and that guy's fan is posting a comment, I think they see things through that lens.  And then they post things from that point of view.  

Do I think this is right?  I don't know.  If you watch this show, you are bound to relate more to one person or another and then carry their torch into battle for them, posting passionately in favor of them and against anyone who dares to cross them.  It is why we say #teamnick or #teamjosh.  People tend to draw lines in the sand, because it is theeasiest thing to do, to default into that mode of thinking, to be part of a mob.  

I think it is wrong to say purposefully hateful things about anyone.  I thought it was horrible what people ( including people on the staff of this show) were saying about Drew in Des' season.  The problem is that we all have different senses of humor and levels of sensitivity to things that are said.  What may offend one may not offend another.  When you are speaking to a friend, for example, you know what is allowable and what crosses a line with that person.  And we have different types of conversations with different friends and we are constantly adjusting our vocabulary and tone.  We don't think too consciously about it because it just comes naturally. But on SM none of those patterns exist, so people get themselves into trouble by crossing those lines.  

I am certainly not trying to make excuses for people's nastiness, laziness, or hurtfulness.  I am simply trying to look for the reason behind why some otherwise nice people turn really nasty on SM.  While I think that posting a hate filled post is a douchebag move, I don't necessary think that the poster is a fulltime douchebag.  I choose to think it is a moment of weakness for most people and not who they they are in sum total.

[SueSt]

Great post Mia.
I do think there is a difference between people that have first hand knowledge (Marcus on Nick) using the word douchbag and strangers using the word.  The first while it may not be nice, is actually acceptable to me...
I mean Marcus knew Nick intimately and is entitled to his opinion (right or wrong, immature or not).
SM strangers that use this term to describe someone they don't know intimately are engaged, as you say, in mob mentality. This is something which is very troubling.
The stuff about Drew was really onerous to me; I mean TPTB making fun of their own talent was despicable... but maybe that's a different issue!!

[happygolucky]

 I don't see anything negative in expressing "harsh" words in the moment of the particular situation done by the guys in the house, but the repeating theme on social media is really puzzling to me, how people just love to hate or ... I don't know, maybe find those kind of words sarcastic (not to me, not that way), but at the same time they don't understand Nick's dry humor.
I don't have twitter, so i don't follow anyone either, but I did clicked on the #Thebachelorette Nick ... and all those comments appeared, a lot even from women who run fan-sites, blogs, entertainment pages, so that's why it was startling to me.

[2observe]

^^^Great post Mia.  

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