Re: Josh Murray - Bachelorette 10 Contestant - Spoilers - Discussion - Thread #4

[umngirl]

Do you think Josh has shagged anyone in the last 5 years?  Seriousl question.  Or do you think he is a born-again virgin like Sean was?  Just curious to hear some opinions.  Because if he hasn't "dated" in 5 years, it kind of implies that he's been celibate, but then again it could mean he hasn't formally "dated" anyone or
"been in a committed relationship" but that he has hooked up with a girl from time to time.  Just curious if people think he's been celibate or hooking up?

I honestly don't know the answer to that and frankly I don't what to know. If he wanted to discuss that with Andi it's up to him.

But I'll hazard a guess that the answer to you first question is yes.

It was really the lie-detector date preview that made me think about this.  They asked Dylan if he'd "slept with more than 20 women".  He answered "yes".  I personally thought that this sounded like a lot of different sexual partners for a 26 year old.  But, then again, I'm practically a dinosaur and I may have a very different veiw of sex than the contestants.  For example, if asked "Have you had more than 20 girlfriends", do you think Dylan would have answered "yes"?  So, what I'm getting at is that it's all about semantics.  And it's possible that people from different generations have and use different vocabulary to talk about relationships.  Personally, it doesn't matter to me if Josh has or hasn't dated, has or hasn't hooked up. I think similarly to Relaxing that "dating" is important in order to know oneself.  But everyone goes through the process of dating differently. Some people know much more quickly what they want or don't want or what they need or don't need.  I trust that Andi and Josh will discuss all topics to the degree that they deem necessary in order to know and understand one another. And if they are together, they will continue to get to know one another with time, just like all couples do.  

I'm close to 25 and I thought that was a lot and I know it's way more than most of my friends too.

I just want to mention again that I already hate this stupid lie detector date.

[albean99]

We're not confusing dating vs relationship, Alanna. Josh specifically said dating and Andi even tweeted it the other night. Do I think he went 5 yrs without a date? No. I don't know why he said it which made me suspicious because it's so obviously untrue.

Why is it that not dating such a bad thing? It's only hard to believe for those who are used to jumping from one relationship to another and getting no where. People do not take time to get to know their own self anymore, that's why there are so many divorces. I personally know a lot of young Christians who are exhausted with the empty relationships that goes nowhere, and have decided to take time out to get strong in the Lord by strengthening their relationship with God, not engaging in sexual relationships, just like Sean did. Josh might be one of those who don't want to say it, especially after seeing what Sean had to go through, or may be he was busy doing other things, there is more to life than chasing women, you know. JMO
If Andi thinks Josh is lying, why not send him home? But, of course not, that's the man she really wants, and will not let him go. You watch and see. Storyline

I do think not dating at all for five yrs would be a red flag for me but I don't believe it. I'm not Andi. She can believe what she likes.

[chloep]

Do you think Josh has shagged anyone in the last 5 years?  Seriousl question.  Or do you think he is a born-again virgin like Sean was?  Just curious to hear some opinions.  Because if he hasn't "dated" in 5 years, it kind of implies that he's been celibate, but then again it could mean he hasn't formally "dated" anyone or
"been in a committed relationship" but that he has hooked up with a girl from time to time.  Just curious if people think he's been celibate or hooking up?

I honestly don't know the answer to that and frankly I don't what to know. If he wanted to discuss that with Andi it's up to him.

But I'll hazard a guess that the answer to you first question is yes.

It was really the lie-detector date preview that made me think about this.  They asked Dylan if he'd "slept with more than 20 women".  He answered "yes".  I personally thought that this sounded like a lot of different sexual partners for a 26 year old.  But, then again, I'm practically a dinosaur and I may have a very different veiw of sex than the contestants.  For example, if asked "Have you had more than 20 girlfriends", do you think Dylan would have answered "yes"?  So, what I'm getting at is that it's all about semantics.  And it's possible that people from different generations have and use different vocabulary to talk about relationships.  Personally, it doesn't matter to me if Josh has or hasn't dated, has or hasn't hooked up. I think similarly to Relaxing that "dating" is important in order to know oneself.  But everyone goes through the process of dating differently. Some people know much more quickly what they want or don't want or what they need or don't need.  I trust that Andi and Josh will discuss all topics to the degree that they deem necessary in order to know and understand one another. And if they are together, they will continue to get to know one another with time, just like all couples do.  

I'm close to 25 and I thought that was a lot and I know it's way more than most of my friends too.

I just want to mention again that I already hate this stupid lie detector date.

It is a lot. But I am going to go out of a limb here and say that most of the guys still there are close to that number...
Putting it into perspective(that of a virile, 20 something young man of the 21st century) 20 is not exactly a lot:
Let's say_
+ 2-3 girlfriends in HS,
+ 2-3 GFs in college, + 5-10 random hook ups in between
+ couple of girlfriends since then
+ couple of hook ups since then
and you've got your 20+ number.

[pavalygurl]

Do you think Josh has shagged anyone in the last 5 years?  Seriousl question.  Or do you think he is a born-again virgin like Sean was?  Just curious to hear some opinions.  Because if he hasn't "dated" in 5 years, it kind of implies that he's been celibate, but then again it could mean he hasn't formally "dated" anyone or
"been in a committed relationship" but that he has hooked up with a girl from time to time.  Just curious if people think he's been celibate or hooking up?

Mia, I am so happy you are back!   

[MiaHawk]

We're not confusing dating vs relationship, Alanna. Josh specifically said dating and Andi even tweeted it the other night. Do I think he went 5 yrs without a date? No. I don't know why he said it which made me suspicious because it's so obviously untrue.

Why is it that not dating such a bad thing? It's only hard to believe for those who are used to jumping from one relationship to another and getting no where. People do not take time to get to know their own self anymore, that's why there are so many divorces. I personally know a lot of young Christians who are exhausted with the empty relationships that goes nowhere, and have decided to take time out to get strong in the Lord by strengthening their relationship with God, not engaging in sexual relationships, just like Sean did. Josh might be one of those who don't want to say it, especially after seeing what Sean had to go through, or may be he was busy doing other things, there is more to life than chasing women, you know. JMO
If Andi thinks Josh is lying, why not send him home? But, of course not, that's the man she really wants, and will not let him go. You watch and see. Storyline

Maggenzm, I agree with a lot of what you have written. I believe very strongly that one of the most important things in life is to truly know oneself. That takes time and introspection. For some, being in a relationship or being part of a larger crowd can cloud that process of introspection and autonomy. On the other hand, sometimes it is through our relationships with others that we can learn a great deal about ourselves. There is no one "right way", and I have never agreed with the attitude that one must be in a relationship just to be with somebody and not alone. Absolutely nothing wrong with being single, or with being single knowing what you want.

I am a mother of teenagers. One day my daughter mentioned how 2 teenagers that we knows have dated from middle school through their freshman yr in college (8 years). I told her that I thought that might not be the healthiest or best thing to do. She countered with "Don't you believe in childhood sweethearts that grow up to be married?" I told her how rare that is in this day and age. Then I went on to say, "If a toddler was just standing and learning to take its first steps, and all of a sudden they tied another toddler to it like a 3-legged race, and they stayed joined like that growing and walking together for years, and then a few years later they were untied, do you think that they'd be able to walk normally? No, they would not have developed their own walking skills. People need to grow up unhindered, with the ability to know what they like and don't like, what they want to do and not do, etc. If you spend too much time during your developmental stages under the strong influence of others, you may grow up and not really know your own mind and heart."

[bilolo]

I hate the lie detector so much, i wish the guys would all refuse to do it and leave Andi there, what a stupid thing to do ugh. A lie detector won't help you, follow your heart and enjoy the ride. Don't upset your boys like that. Those questions are so stupid and going too far, what a humiliating experience.  

[umngirl]

Do you think Josh has shagged anyone in the last 5 years?  Seriousl question.  Or do you think he is a born-again virgin like Sean was?  Just curious to hear some opinions.  Because if he hasn't "dated" in 5 years, it kind of implies that he's been celibate, but then again it could mean he hasn't formally "dated" anyone or
"been in a committed relationship" but that he has hooked up with a girl from time to time.  Just curious if people think he's been celibate or hooking up?

I honestly don't know the answer to that and frankly I don't what to know. If he wanted to discuss that with Andi it's up to him.

But I'll hazard a guess that the answer to you first question is yes.

It was really the lie-detector date preview that made me think about this.  They asked Dylan if he'd "slept with more than 20 women".  He answered "yes".  I personally thought that this sounded like a lot of different sexual partners for a 26 year old.  But, then again, I'm practically a dinosaur and I may have a very different veiw of sex than the contestants.  For example, if asked "Have you had more than 20 girlfriends", do you think Dylan would have answered "yes"?  So, what I'm getting at is that it's all about semantics.  And it's possible that people from different generations have and use different vocabulary to talk about relationships.  Personally, it doesn't matter to me if Josh has or hasn't dated, has or hasn't hooked up. I think similarly to Relaxing that "dating" is important in order to know oneself.  But everyone goes through the process of dating differently. Some people know much more quickly what they want or don't want or what they need or don't need.  I trust that Andi and Josh will discuss all topics to the degree that they deem necessary in order to know and understand one another. And if they are together, they will continue to get to know one another with time, just like all couples do.  

I'm close to 25 and I thought that was a lot and I know it's way more than most of my friends too.

I just want to mention again that I already hate this stupid lie detector date.

It is a lot. But I am going to go out of a limb here and say that most of the guys still there are close to that number...
Putting it into perspective(that of a virile, 20 something young man of the 21st century) 20 is not exactly a lot:
Let's say_
+ 2-3 girlfriends in HS,
+ 2-3 GFs in college, + 5-10 random hook ups in between
+ couple of girlfriends since then
+ couple of hook ups since then
and you've got your 20+ number.

I totally see how some people get to that number or even more. I just personally know very few who have.

And I think I'd hate this date less if Andi also had to take the test too. It's only fair.

[sbolduc]

Do you think Josh has shagged anyone in the last 5 years?  Seriousl question.  Or do you think he is a born-again virgin like Sean was?  Just curious to hear some opinions.  Because if he hasn't "dated" in 5 years, it kind of implies that he's been celibate, but then again it could mean he hasn't formally "dated" anyone or
"been in a committed relationship" but that he has hooked up with a girl from time to time.  Just curious if people think he's been celibate or hooking up?

I honestly don't know the answer to that and frankly I don't what to know. If he wanted to discuss that with Andi it's up to him.

But I'll hazard a guess that the answer to you first question is yes.

It was really the lie-detector date preview that made me think about this.  They asked Dylan if he'd "slept with more than 20 women".  He answered "yes".  I personally thought that this sounded like a lot of different sexual partners for a 26 year old.  But, then again, I'm practically a dinosaur and I may have a very different veiw of sex than the contestants.  For example, if asked "Have you had more than 20 girlfriends", do you think Dylan would have answered "yes"?  So, what I'm getting at is that it's all about semantics.  And it's possible that people from different generations have and use different vocabulary to talk about relationships.  Personally, it doesn't matter to me if Josh has or hasn't dated, has or hasn't hooked up. I think similarly to Relaxing that "dating" is important in order to know oneself.  But everyone goes through the process of dating differently. Some people know much more quickly what they want or don't want or what they need or don't need.  I trust that Andi and Josh will discuss all topics to the degree that they deem necessary in order to know and understand one another. And if they are together, they will continue to get to know one another with time, just like all couples do.  

I'm close to 25 and I thought that was a lot and I know it's way more than most of my friends too.

I just want to mention again that I already hate this stupid lie detector date.

It is a lot. But I am going to go out of a limb here and say that most of the guys still there are close to that number...
Putting it into perspective(that of a virile, 20 something young man of the 21st century) 20 is not exactly a lot:
Let's say_
+ 2-3 girlfriends in HS,
+ 2-3 GFs in college, + 5-10 random hook ups in between
+ couple of girlfriends since then
+ couple of hook ups since then
and you've got your 20+ number.

I totally see how some people get to that number or even more. I just personally know very few who have.

And I think I'd hate this date less if Andi also had to take the test too. It's only fair.

Agreed. I am in my late 20s, and about half of my close friends are in the 20+ range, the other half had long term boyfriends (5+ years) in HS and/or college. They are all smart, successful, confident women. I can definitely see it.

[MiaHawk]

Do you think Josh has shagged anyone in the last 5 years?  Seriousl question.  Or do you think he is a born-again virgin like Sean was?  Just curious to hear some opinions.  Because if he hasn't "dated" in 5 years, it kind of implies that he's been celibate, but then again it could mean he hasn't formally "dated" anyone or
"been in a committed relationship" but that he has hooked up with a girl from time to time.  Just curious if people think he's been celibate or hooking up?

I honestly don't know the answer to that and frankly I don't what to know. If he wanted to discuss that with Andi it's up to him.

But I'll hazard a guess that the answer to you first question is yes.

It was really the lie-detector date preview that made me think about this.  They asked Dylan if he'd "slept with more than 20 women".  He answered "yes".  I personally thought that this sounded like a lot of different sexual partners for a 26 year old.  But, then again, I'm practically a dinosaur and I may have a very different veiw of sex than the contestants.  For example, if asked "Have you had more than 20 girlfriends", do you think Dylan would have answered "yes"?  So, what I'm getting at is that it's all about semantics.  And it's possible that people from different generations have and use different vocabulary to talk about relationships.  Personally, it doesn't matter to me if Josh has or hasn't dated, has or hasn't hooked up. I think similarly to Relaxing that "dating" is important in order to know oneself.  But everyone goes through the process of dating differently. Some people know much more quickly what they want or don't want or what they need or don't need.  I trust that Andi and Josh will discuss all topics to the degree that they deem necessary in order to know and understand one another. And if they are together, they will continue to get to know one another with time, just like all couples do.  

I'm close to 25 and I thought that was a lot and I know it's way more than most of my friends too.

I just want to mention again that I already hate this stupid lie detector date.

It is a lot. But I am going to go out of a limb here and say that most of the guys still there are close to that number...
Putting it into perspective(that of a virile, 20 something young man of the 21st century) 20 is not exactly a lot:
Let's say_
+ 2-3 girlfriends in HS,
+ 2-3 GFs in college, + 5-10 random hook ups in between
+ couple of girlfriends since then
+ couple of hook ups since then
and you've got your 20+ number.

I totally see how some people get to that number or even more. I just personally know very few who have.

And I think I'd hate this date less if Andi also had to take the test too. It's only fair.

Agreed. I am in my late 20s, and about half of my close friends are in the 20+ range, the other half had long term boyfriends (5+ years) in HS and/or college. They are all smart, successful, confident women. I can definitely see it.

See, I'm older than the 20s and I grew up in a different time, and that's why I try not to judge some of the differences I see between the generations. I have my opinions, but my opinions are just that... opinions...thoughts...not Gospel. My main point was that "dating" is semantics. I used the Dylan lie detector question to prove a point. (Sex is not the same as dating). Peace!

[cindebugg]

We're not confusing dating vs relationship, Alanna. Josh specifically said dating and Andi even tweeted it the other night. Do I think he went 5 yrs without a date? No. I don't know why he said it which made me suspicious because it's so obviously untrue.

Why is it that not dating such a bad thing? It's only hard to believe for those who are used to jumping from one relationship to another and getting no where. People do not take time to get to know their own self anymore, that's why there are so many divorces. I personally know a lot of young Christians who are exhausted with the empty relationships that goes nowhere, and have decided to take time out to get strong in the Lord by strengthening their relationship with God, not engaging in sexual relationships, just like Sean did. Josh might be one of those who don't want to say it, especially after seeing what Sean had to go through, or may be he was busy doing other things, there is more to life than chasing women, you know. JMO
If Andi thinks Josh is lying, why not send him home? But, of course not, that's the man she really wants, and will not let him go. You watch and see. Storyline

I do think not dating at all for five yrs would be a red flag for me but I don't believe it. I'm not Andi. She can believe what she likes.

Aaron mentioned that Josh hasn't dated in a number of years in an interview that was posted today. Beyond that, I haven't seen or heard about any social media evidence of past relationships or ex girlfriends coming forward to call him out. IMO Josh is smart enough to know not to go on national TV and lie.

[Ash2214]

I'm taking a break from sending out resumes because it's a real pain in the bum, so here are my thoughts in regards to Josh/dating.

I personally do think Josh has slept with girls in the past five years and he's casually hung out and probably even casually dated girls. More so, to me anyway, it seems like he's telling Andi he hasn't had a serious girlfriend, or just a girlfriend for that matter, in five years. He had a girlfriend while he was playing baseball and then it seems another girlfriend after that. It's not like he hasn't had a serious relationship or dated girls. He has had both. I don't think you need to date a lot or have multiple serious relationships in order to know what you want out of life or a partner. Sometimes people just know. He has had relationships and has dated, so I would assume he already knows what he wants.

What I really liked is that he basically told Andi he doesn't like to waste anyone's time including his. If he knows it's not going anywhere with someone then he'll end it. I appreciate this because I'm the same way. I can tell pretty early on if there's ever going to be something long lasting with someone and I'm only 23. I hate wasting my time and I hate wasting any other guys time. I would much rather be with someone I'm crazy about then just casually date guys that I know I won't be with a few months down the road. It appears Josh has a similar thought process. He's 29 and he's been around. He played baseball, not in the MLB, but he's seen a lot in the minors. I don't think he's been waiting for the "perfect" woman, but more so the woman that fits together with him perfectly and those are two different things.

He certainly gained a bit more respect from me when he was telling Andi all of this. You don't need to serially date to know what you want out of life and what you want in someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Sometimes it's a good thing to wait for the person that fits perfectly with you.

I also just barfed a little knowing Dylan has slept with 20 women. I know that's actually not completely horrendous, but still. Ick. It should be an interesting episode. I hate the whole concept, but regardless it will be interesting.

[Maggenzm]

I found this at NON spoiler. RULES FOR DATING MY SON.
This is what Josh brother twitted regarding their mom rules. Very funny

http://instagram.com/p/bm1JWqM24D/

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