Re: Brooks Discussion Group

by sdmom Thu Aug 22, 2013 1:30 pm

Rudyblue wrote:I've said it before, the reason there are separate threads is because people do feel strongly. Some individuals prefer to stay on the Chris fan threads so that they will not have to deal with negative comments about Chris. Some prefer to stay on the Brooks fan threads so they don't have to deal with negative comments on Brooks. Some like to have an objective discussion on the general discussion thread and that's cool too. What's not cool is taking material from one thread and putting it in another when the threads have been separated to reduce conflict. Doing this is asking for trouble.

I would also point out that trashing other posters is not permitted. Many would consider the expression "fangirl" pejorative, and would probably suggest it's not a good way to refer to other posters.

Totally agree with the bolded part, and you said it much better than I would ever have! I am not ashamed to admit I am a Drew Fangirl and I completely adore him, that's why I spend most of my time reading and posting on his FAN thread. I also feel Fan thread is created to be a safe haven that we can safely express our adoration without being bashed, where we can stay in our own fantasy bubbles if we chose to. So, can we just let Brooks/Chris fans post on their individual fan threads freely, as long as they don't attack/trash other posters?
I really would like to hear Love_Me and San's guideline on taking posts from fan threads to general discussion threads. TIA!

by Mustang19 Thu Aug 22, 2013 2:24 pm

albean99 wrote:All of the threads seems to be doing similar things. I'm a fan of different couples & people so I've seen a lot and I don't really enjoy pumping up one person/couple by criticizing another. Once one starts doing it the others jump in and it can get ugly. I want to defend someone at times but end up deleting my draft because it's just not worth it. To me the most important rule here is not to bash or criticize members. We're going to still be here when a new season starts and you never know who you'll be a fellow fan with. :Nod:

Great post, Albean. Totally see the bolded happening, and you're right, it's not worth responding. Everyone's mind is made up. I really don't see anyone in particular "bashing or hating on" Brooks in the Chris fan thread, and I don't see any Chris "bashing or hating on" in the Brooks fan thread. If you want to call Chris = Dull or Brooks = wishy-washy hating or bashing then, in my opinion that's a little bit thin-skinned. I have seen the vast majority wishing C+D happiness in the Brooks thread, saying he seems like a great guy. I have seen mostly in the Chris thread saying Brooks was honest. If one single questionably negative post is said about either contestant, then every poster in that thread is labeled a "hater" or "basher" when that is simply not the case if people care to read objectively.

by Aunties_Love Thu Aug 22, 2013 6:19 pm

Rudyblue wrote:I've said it before, the reason there are separate threads is because people do feel strongly. Some individuals prefer to stay on the Chris fan threads so that they will not have to deal with negative comments about Chris. Some prefer to stay on the Brooks fan threads so they don't have to deal with negative comments on Brooks. Some like to have an objective discussion on the general discussion thread and that's cool too. What's not cool is taking material from one thread and putting it in another when the threads have been separated to reduce conflict. Doing this is asking for trouble.

I would also point out that trashing other posters is not permitted. Many would consider the expression "fangirl" pejorative, and would probably suggest it's not a good way to refer to other posters.

But if stuff is in a fan thread and warrants further discussion, where do we put it?

by IrishGal Thu Aug 22, 2013 7:03 pm

Honestly, I've thought about this and I see nothing wrong with moving an interesting post from one thread to another. I'm shocked by the negative reaction on the parts of a few. It's something we have always done when an interesting comment is posted on a thread that the majority don't read. That's going back on Bach boards 10 years to FORT. As far as I know, the fan threads are no more private or sacred than non-fan threads. The entire forum is public. Obviously, JMHO.

by hillie Thu Aug 22, 2013 9:54 pm

Aunties_Love wrote:
Rudyblue wrote:I've said it before, the reason there are separate threads is because people do feel strongly. Some individuals prefer to stay on the Chris fan threads so that they will not have to deal with negative comments about Chris. Some prefer to stay on the Brooks fan threads so they don't have to deal with negative comments on Brooks. Some like to have an objective discussion on the general discussion thread and that's cool too. What's not cool is taking material from one thread and putting it in another when the threads have been separated to reduce conflict. Doing this is asking for trouble.

I would also point out that trashing other posters is not permitted. Many would consider the expression "fangirl" pejorative, and would probably suggest it's not a good way to refer to other posters.
But if stuff is in a fan thread and warrants further discussion, where do we put it?

How about under your hat???

For all of us, there no need to discuss any of our opinions with those who are not interested in discussing them. Dragging conversations to all different threads to try to make a point is no way to gain friends and influence people, at least not in my book. Keeping the discussions to the topics where we are posting would cause less strife and perhaps some actual discussion may occur.

by Muslady Thu Aug 22, 2013 10:12 pm

hillie wrote:
Aunties_Love wrote:
Rudyblue wrote:I've said it before, the reason there are separate threads is because people do feel strongly. Some individuals prefer to stay on the Chris fan threads so that they will not have to deal with negative comments about Chris. Some prefer to stay on the Brooks fan threads so they don't have to deal with negative comments on Brooks. Some like to have an objective discussion on the general discussion thread and that's cool too. What's not cool is taking material from one thread and putting it in another when the threads have been separated to reduce conflict. Doing this is asking for trouble.

I would also point out that trashing other posters is not permitted. Many would consider the expression "fangirl" pejorative, and would probably suggest it's not a good way to refer to other posters.
But if stuff is in a fan thread and warrants further discussion, where do we put it?
How about under your hat???

For all of us, there no need to discuss any of our opinions with those who are not interested in discussing them. Dragging conversations to all different threads to try to make a point is no way to gain friends and influence people, at least not in my book. Keeping the discussions to the topics where we are posting would cause less strife and perhaps some actual discussion may occur.

I thought the operative word in the thread title was discussion; I guess not. scratch

by Kashathediva Thu Aug 22, 2013 10:18 pm

Muslady wrote:
hillie wrote:
Aunties_Love wrote:
Rudyblue wrote:I've said it before, the reason there are separate threads is because people do feel strongly. Some individuals prefer to stay on the Chris fan threads so that they will not have to deal with negative comments about Chris. Some prefer to stay on the Brooks fan threads so they don't have to deal with negative comments on Brooks. Some like to have an objective discussion on the general discussion thread and that's cool too. What's not cool is taking material from one thread and putting it in another when the threads have been separated to reduce conflict. Doing this is asking for trouble.

I would also point out that trashing other posters is not permitted. Many would consider the expression "fangirl" pejorative, and would probably suggest it's not a good way to refer to other posters.
But if stuff is in a fan thread and warrants further discussion, where do we put it?
How about under your hat???

For all of us, there no need to discuss any of our opinions with those who are not interested in discussing them. Dragging conversations to all different threads to try to make a point is no way to gain friends and influence people, at least not in my book. Keeping the discussions to the topics where we are posting would cause less strife and perhaps some actual discussion may occur.
I thought the operative word in the thread title was discussion; I guess not.

It is for discussion per the thread title. As long as the discussion abides by site rules and is respectable it should be fine. :yes:

People who would like to discuss can, people who just want to read can and people who want to scroll by or skip the thread can do so, too. Options for all. :Biggrin:

by ironcat Thu Aug 22, 2013 10:30 pm

If there is something being discussed in a fan thread that you disagree with and want to comment on (I'm assuming that this would only be necessary if one disagrees, since "me tooing" can and is certainly done on fan threads all the time), why not just raise the topic anew on the Discussion threads without referencing the prior comments (and who made them) at all? All you need to do is say "I don't think (or I disagree with the idea) that blah blah blah..." What bothers people (I assume) is having one's post, which was intended for, and shared with, like-minded people, moved to another thread for the sole purpose of having their specific opinions shot down by people on the other side of the fence. That's only going to cause people on both sides of the argument to get more defensive.

by 2observe Thu Aug 22, 2013 10:40 pm

Rolly wrote:I'm not sure why the first date being dressed as a brides and groom as being a sign that he wasn't F1. Des wanted someone that could just roll with it and have fun and that's exactly what Brooks did. He didn't seem to be freaked out about it at all in fact seemed to really enjoy the entire date..."it keeps getting better and better and better...hold on to your seat belts ...this is gonna be an awesome ride."

And because they do the Hollywood sign like anther couple that also indicates he is not F1? I don't get it?

Brooks seeing Des kiss other guys...he said he didn't think Des' relationship with other guys affected him. He wanted the rose on that group date and he got it. He said getting that rose reinforced the relationship that they had and he was glad he got the rose. This was after he saw Des kiss James.

I feel like I'm and I know Des is now with Chris. Truth be told I really like Chris and I'm hoping they will have a wonderful life together. I think he wanted Des in spite of the feelings he knew she had for Brooks. Don't you think Chris also suspected Brooks was Des' F1? ...I still believe if there had been more time and not the pressure of a proposal we might have a different ending....JMO. It may be true that Chris is a better fit for Des and she got what she wanted, a proposal and someone that loves her just as much, probably more than she loves him.

Regarding the bolded, didn't Brooks suspect that Chris was Des' F1??? He said that he noticed the way Des always looked at Chris, especially during RCs. I think that it's why Brooks was so surprise that Des was declaring all that love for him. It was always going to be Chris as F1.

by Muslady Thu Aug 22, 2013 11:02 pm

ironcat wrote:If there is something being discussed in a fan thread that you disagree with and want to comment on (I'm assuming that this would only be necessary if one disagrees, since "me tooing" can and is certainly done on fan threads all the time), why not just raise the topic anew on the Discussion threads without referencing the prior comments (and who made them) at all? All you need to do is say "I don't think (or I disagree with the idea) that blah blah blah..." What bothers people (I assume) is having one's post, which was intended for, and shared with, like-minded people, moved to another thread for the sole purpose of having their specific opinions shot down by people on the other side of the fence. That's only going to cause people on both sides of the argument to get more defensive.

I really like the 3 discussion groups. I do like the chance to have my say within a like-minded forum. I have posted the same opinion in 2 of the threads where I specifically omitted the 3rd only because I knew the 3rd would not be receptive, which is fine with me. I understand the "defensiveness" issue, but I don't think it is avoidable if you are to have a discussion. At least, if folks choose not respond kindly. Since we have had the 3 discussion threads the animosity has been toned down a great deal. Disagreeing is not a bad thing only when done with unkind remarks.

by Guest Thu Aug 22, 2013 11:08 pm

2observe wrote:
Rolly wrote:I'm not sure why the first date being dressed as a brides and groom as being a sign that he wasn't F1. Des wanted someone that could just roll with it and have fun and that's exactly what Brooks did. He didn't seem to be freaked out about it at all in fact seemed to really enjoy the entire date..."it keeps getting better and better and better...hold on to your seat belts ...this is gonna be an awesome ride."

And because they do the Hollywood sign like anther couple that also indicates he is not F1? I don't get it?

Brooks seeing Des kiss other guys...he said he didn't think Des' relationship with other guys affected him. He wanted the rose on that group date and he got it. He said getting that rose reinforced the relationship that they had and he was glad he got the rose. This was after he saw Des kiss James.

I feel like I'm and I know Des is now with Chris. Truth be told I really like Chris and I'm hoping they will have a wonderful life together. I think he wanted Des in spite of the feelings he knew she had for Brooks. Don't you think Chris also suspected Brooks was Des' F1? ...I still believe if there had been more time and not the pressure of a proposal we might have a different ending....JMO. It may be true that Chris is a better fit for Des and she got what she wanted, a proposal and someone that loves her just as much, probably more than she loves him.
Regarding the bolded, didn't Brooks suspect that Chris was Des' F1??? He said that he noticed the way Des always looked at Chris, especially during RCs. I think that it's why Brooks was so surprise that Des was declaring all that love for him. It was always going to be Chris as F1.

well jeez.. if that's true.. she sure messed up their beginning. I am sure she is kicking herself for what she said. I do believe it was partly over the heat of the moment and feeling rejected, but Chris was a little behind Brooks IMO. Chris noticed it in episode 3 and looked a bit defeated until she gave him the rose. I don't think Brooks and Des belonged together. It's just sad that she had to realize that on national television... well hell.. worldwide tv based on all our posters here from all over the world. It leaves a mark on an otherwise promising relationship that she will not soon shed. Chris asked us to analyze these words in one of his poems.. "the process, the downfall and existence". He was talking about that her perception might be off, because guys were deceiving her. My interpretation of what he wants us to look at post show is that the process lead to a downfall (the Brooks saga) and the existence they live in with Chris being perceived as the second choice. I wish people could give her a break at this point. She had a great date with Brooks first, she fell for him and it didn't work out, but a great guy was there. It is not like he is some icky Bob Guiney. Chris is a prize. It's not much a stretch to believe she understands that now.

by Aunties_Love Fri Aug 23, 2013 12:05 am

hillie wrote:
Aunties_Love wrote:
Rudyblue wrote:I've said it before, the reason there are separate threads is because people do feel strongly. Some individuals prefer to stay on the Chris fan threads so that they will not have to deal with negative comments about Chris. Some prefer to stay on the Brooks fan threads so they don't have to deal with negative comments on Brooks. Some like to have an objective discussion on the general discussion thread and that's cool too. What's not cool is taking material from one thread and putting it in another when the threads have been separated to reduce conflict. Doing this is asking for trouble.

I would also point out that trashing other posters is not permitted. Many would consider the expression "fangirl" pejorative, and would probably suggest it's not a good way to refer to other posters.
But if stuff is in a fan thread and warrants further discussion, where do we put it?
How about under your hat???

For all of us, there no need to discuss any of our opinions with those who are not interested in discussing them. Dragging conversations to all different threads to try to make a point is no way to gain friends and influence people, at least not in my book. Keeping the discussions to the topics where we are posting would cause less strife and perhaps some actual discussion may occur.

Somehow I don't think that is the appropriate place to keep a discussion. Mind you, if you prefer to keep some there, then thats up to you. Me, I do like healthy discussion and feel that it's a good thing. If something is posted in a different thread, like IrishGal stated, we have always been able to move them around to an appropriate area of discussion; so why is it different now?

As far as making friends, I do believe I do have friends on this forum????

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