Re: Brooks Forester - Bachelorette 9 - Fan Thread - Discussion #5

[Guest]

Like I said, the only thing he got off this show (plus some experiences) was a messed up finger.

Ha! So true, Adele...BTW I'm a fan of that name. Adele!

Thank you! I love it.

[Guest]

I got the opportunity to talk to his cousin and she was reluctant to talk and I won't say all she said, but Brooks is not still in love with Des.  He made the best decision for him and for her ultimately.  His sister sent in his application for the show without him knowing about it.  He went ahead and did it and did develop feelings for Des but not strong enough to last after the show. Its very unusual being away for so long from friends and family, everything you do being monitored constantly and Des being the only girl in the picture.  It was very hard to leave because he didn't want to hurt her.  When he returned home he had to have major surgery on his finger.  It was very messed up and a bad break.  The episodes following the dodgeball date he was quite medicated and his cousin said the whole family could tell and probably also a reason we didn't seen very much of him.

I didn't think he loved her anymore, but it's good to know that information. It's interesting that he was quite medicated the rest of the show. No wonder he seemed more out of it. Poor guy about his finger. See the things none of us even knew?

I remember he received so many hateful remarks after his injury and going to the ER, etc., like being a wuss for instance. Imagine that, it was a really painful and serious break. Poor guy. Hope it's all mended correctly.

I know! I was always trying to defend him to my friends and people who kept saying he was a wuss by telling them it was a compound break, it had broken the skin, open bone, it would be very painful. I hope it'd be pretty normal, but I don't know if they could ever make it quite the same.

[Guest]

You can see in this picture where Brooks is nicely displaying his fingers for us that his right index finger, near the knuckle, is swollen and thick.

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[Guest]

It's funny to consider that early spoiler from the housekeeper in Antigua now...that Des was sad after the final shoot and not at all looking like someone who was ready to get married. I ignored that aspect of the spoiler bc it didn't support my theory that he came back and all was well, but now, of course it makes sense. Poor Chris. He seems like a good dude, and regardless of whatever happiness she's trying to project (and I don't think all of it is make-believe), he really got the short end of the stick. The housekeeper's account of Des's mood confirms a bit to me that the producers talked her into the ending.

Brooks seems happier now, and I agree with those who say she wasn't for him. As the episodes progressed, I started to wonder what she brought to the table for him. Which isn't to disparage Des, only to say that I understood partially why he wasn't clicking with her. A simple example is how she'd never been out of the country, while he has really explored the world. Of course, this example alone doesn't make or break whether or not someone falls in love with another, but I started to see how Brooks might be looking for something different. Des hasn't gone to college; Des isn't close with her family. I understand how this could hold him back because they'd hold me back too. (Again, I'm not disparaging Des, just stating facts.) Des herself said she just wants a simple life. I think Brooks wanted/wants more, and he wanted/wants more out of love too. I think he was shocked (rightfully so) at how casually she turned around and declared her love for Chris, which only further proved to him that she wasn't right for him: he wants someone who values "I love you" as much as he does. Whether or not it was producer manipulated or rebound-driven or even truly honest, Des told two guys she loved them within a week. I think for Brooks, that was the final nail in the coffin -- no thought of reconciliation after she was so frivolous with something he holds dear.

[Guest]

well, I'm still in the Bres corner I guess... my 12 step program just doesn't seem to be working. I totally saw Brooks lean forward at the AFTR to check out if she had a ring on or not. why would he bother if he said goodbye on the pier in Antigua and left with no regrets? what difference would it make at that point if indeed he had no feelings? I stand by what I saw in his reaction to the ring, and her reaction when he first stepped out on that stage.

this doesn't mean that Des will not find happiness with Chris, many a good marriage has been made when one party does all the loving and the other settles in for the long haul... or that Brooks will not find the girl of his dreams, but they will always have a bit of the others heart. I believe if she had not convinced herself that any relationship was better than none and had not accepted that proposal with Chris in 5 or less days, and had she gone to that AFTR still single, Brooks would have asked her out and they may have gone on from there or not. we will never know.  of course he will answer now that probably not, but he did say in that one interview that he was so close he could almost touch it...

step 1... "O God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

[nannymargie]

well, I'm still in the Bres corner I guess... my 12 step program just doesn't seem to be working. I totally saw Brooks lean forward at the AFTR to check out if she had a ring on or not. why would he bother if he said goodbye on the pier in Antigua and left with no regrets? what difference would it make at that point if indeed he had no feelings? I stand by what I saw in his reaction to the ring, and her reaction when he first stepped out on that stage.

this doesn't mean that Des will not find happiness with Chris, many a good marriage has been made when one party does all the loving and the other settles in for the long haul... or that Brooks will not find the girl of his dreams, but they will always have a bit of the others heart. I believe if she had not convinced herself that any relationship was better than none and had not accepted that proposal with Chris in 5 or less days, and had she gone to that AFTR still single, Brooks would have asked her out and they may have gone on from there or not. we will never know.  of course he will answer now that probably not, but he did say in that one interview that he was so close he could almost touch it...

step 1... "O God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

 

[sushifan]

well, I'm still in the Bres corner I guess... my 12 step program just doesn't seem to be working. I totally saw Brooks lean forward at the AFTR to check out if she had a ring on or not. why would he bother if he said goodbye on the pier in Antigua and left with no regrets? what difference would it make at that point if indeed he had no feelings? I stand by what I saw in his reaction to the ring, and her reaction when he first stepped out on that stage.

this doesn't mean that Des will not find happiness with Chris, many a good marriage has been made when one party does all the loving and the other settles in for the long haul... or that Brooks will not find the girl of his dreams, but they will always have a bit of the others heart. I believe if she had not convinced herself that any relationship was better than none and had not accepted that proposal with Chris in 5 or less days, and had she gone to that AFTR still single, Brooks would have asked her out and they may have gone on from there or not. we will never know.  of course he will answer now that probably not, but he did say in that one interview that he was so close he could almost touch it...

step 1... "O God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

I'm glad to hear the feedback from Brooks' cousin. It certainly sounds like he made a sound decision in walking away and not looking back. He walked away knowing they did not have enough to last in the real world, full stop. I'm sure TPTB tried to manipulate him into staying/returning, telling him Des needed him, etc., but ultimately in leaving, he did what was best for both Des and himself. Nothing but respect from me for that decision! I'm also sure he would like people to stop asking him whether he still has unresolved feelings for Des. That has to be getting super old. Auntie Lyn, I think Brooks would want everyone to accept that he basically said "later, gator" to this show and isn't looking back. Don't you think? :WAVEY: 

[Guest]

well, I'm still in the Bres corner I guess... my 12 step program just doesn't seem to be working. I totally saw Brooks lean forward at the AFTR to check out if she had a ring on or not. why would he bother if he said goodbye on the pier in Antigua and left with no regrets? what difference would it make at that point if indeed he had no feelings? I stand by what I saw in his reaction to the ring, and her reaction when he first stepped out on that stage.

this doesn't mean that Des will not find happiness with Chris, many a good marriage has been made when one party does all the loving and the other settles in for the long haul... or that Brooks will not find the girl of his dreams, but they will always have a bit of the others heart. I believe if she had not convinced herself that any relationship was better than none and had not accepted that proposal with Chris in 5 or less days, and had she gone to that AFTR still single, Brooks would have asked her out and they may have gone on from there or not. we will never know.  of course he will answer now that probably not, but he did say in that one interview that he was so close he could almost touch it...

step 1... "O God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

I think one can have feelings - as Brooks obviously did, given he got choked up at ATFR - and still recognize why the relationship won't work. I think Brooks is there. I'm not sure Des is, but that's her burden to shoulder, along with Chris's.

[atem]

well, I'm still in the Bres corner I guess... my 12 step program just doesn't seem to be working. I totally saw Brooks lean forward at the AFTR to check out if she had a ring on or not. why would he bother if he said goodbye on the pier in Antigua and left with no regrets? what difference would it make at that point if indeed he had no feelings? I stand by what I saw in his reaction to the ring, and her reaction when he first stepped out on that stage.

this doesn't mean that Des will not find happiness with Chris, many a good marriage has been made when one party does all the loving and the other settles in for the long haul... or that Brooks will not find the girl of his dreams, but they will always have a bit of the others heart. I believe if she had not convinced herself that any relationship was better than none and had not accepted that proposal with Chris in 5 or less days, and had she gone to that AFTR still single, Brooks would have asked her out and they may have gone on from there or not. we will never know.  of course he will answer now that probably not, but he did say in that one interview that he was so close he could almost touch it...

step 1... "O God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

I know how you feel. I've felt that way before on this show and that's why the more info known, the better. This show gets away with so many lies and half truths. It's going to take longer for some to get over it.

[Rolly]

i don't think that Brooks was still "in love" with Des at ATFR but I saw that they had something that seemed unresolved. I think when he left the show (not the ATFR but the break up scene) he was conflicted. As others pointed out there were some mixed messages but he did say to his mom and sister I just don't think I can propose at the end of this (sounds kind of reasonable...) and Brooks knew that's was what Des wanted. Once he left the show there probably was no turning back.

The shocker for me was where he seemed to be at at the HTD....he looked like a man in love. "Where have you been all my life", anxious because he wanted it to go well, saying his mom loved Des and was 100% supportive, he talked to his family about all the things he loved about her, he felt closer to the union of marriage than he had ever been, and he didn't want to see her go. The next meeting with Des then is the break up?!?  I think he got cold feet because he wasn't ready to propose...JMO. I think he had deeper feelings for her than he wanted to admit.

I can imagine that he was very relieved to have the show over. From the very beginning he was spoiled as the F1. Many people assumed that Des and Brooks were together engaged. That must have been very uncomfortable to not be able to be honest with people and to know how he really left the show... maybe wondering how people were going to react. And he had to wait that 3 months also not knowing how the show ended after he left.

The show is over now and it is what it is. Even though I thought so much of Brooks' ups and downs throughout the show seemed to be more with the process, in the end he didn't feel prepared to make a commitment and decided it was best to leave. Hopefully Des and Chris will have a happy life without regrets.

And Brooks in my opinion is leaving with a lot more than a broken finger. Look at his following, look at his fan thread, he is stopped every where he goes with people wanting his picture, his company can use him for publicity and he will get a trip or two out of the deal. I can also say without a doubt he will have no trouble whatsoever getting a date.  Last but not least I think he has come away looking the best of anyone. He has an honest gentle nature, a great sense of humor, was loved by Des and all the guys. How many guys would have the guts to do what he did at this stage of the game? I'm gonna miss him.

[Guest]

well, I'm still in the Bres corner I guess... my 12 step program just doesn't seem to be working. I totally saw Brooks lean forward at the AFTR to check out if she had a ring on or not. why would he bother if he said goodbye on the pier in Antigua and left with no regrets? what difference would it make at that point if indeed he had no feelings? I stand by what I saw in his reaction to the ring, and her reaction when he first stepped out on that stage.

this doesn't mean that Des will not find happiness with Chris, many a good marriage has been made when one party does all the loving and the other settles in for the long haul... or that Brooks will not find the girl of his dreams, but they will always have a bit of the others heart. I believe if she had not convinced herself that any relationship was better than none and had not accepted that proposal with Chris in 5 or less days, and had she gone to that AFTR still single, Brooks would have asked her out and they may have gone on from there or not. we will never know.  of course he will answer now that probably not, but he did say in that one interview that he was so close he could almost touch it...

step 1... "O God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

I'm glad to hear the feedback from Brooks' cousin.  It certainly sounds like he made a sound decision in walking away and not looking back.  He walked away knowing they did not have enough to last in the real world, full stop.  I'm sure TPTB tried to manipulate him into staying/returning, telling him Des needed him, etc., but ultimately in leaving, he did what was best for both Des and himself.  Nothing but respect from me for that decision!  I'm also sure he would like people to stop asking him whether he still has unresolved feelings for Des.  That has to be getting super old.  Auntie Lyn, I think Brooks would want everyone to accept that he basically said "later, gator" to this show and isn't looking back.  Don't you think? :WAVEY: 

oh sushifan, I totally understand where you are coming from, but as far as a fan of Bres, it is just difficult for me to wrap my head around. I watched this show unfold in a particular manner, then it was confirmed at the breakup that indeed, what I saw were the feelings that were given... and then it just stopped! the abruptness and finality is what is difficult to understand. I couldn't be more proud of Brooks for moving forward after this show, and not looking back... and indeed saying "see you later gator", but i'm not there as of yet. I will be eventually, but it does not lessen the longing to see what might have been. I do wish people would not question him regarding his feelings for Des, I would imagine that would be difficult to deal with however he is feeling. I know from another couple that missed on this franchise that moving forward is difficult but not impossible, but there is always that "what if..."

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[Guest]

feel.  I've felt that way before on this show and that's why the more info known, the better.  This show gets away with so many lies and half truths.  It's going to take longer for some to get over it.  

the next time I get invested in one of these shows (and I hope that's never), i'm going to follow you around atem, and do your running for you... just tell me why I'm looking for stuff and what it may mean, ok?

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