Re: The Final One (F1) - Bachelorette 9 - Spoilers - Thread #4

[Goldie2]

Am a Brooks fan - but was wondering how does everyone rooting for Des and Brooks happy ending resolve what he said last night about " hoping she was into one of the other guys more" in his PO after telling her goodbye.
No guy in love,  even a confused guy, hopes his girl is in love with someone else.
I found that statement very telling.

I def saw a guy struggling not wanting to hurt her and feeling bad at how devastated she was .
But feeling bad you hurt someone should not be confused with being in love.

Brooks a decent guy. Breaking a girls heart never easy.
When he returns, i would really question if i were Des if it is more out of guilt for leaving than a real revelation of "love " at that point, especially after his talk with CH and his family where he admitted to not being in love with her.

I also think that saying he did not want to leave her and already missed what they shared also very telling.

I think he felt bad he hurt her so much , that's how I read it .

It's one thing to be a slow- thinker and confused by the process of the show.
But most guys in that case would stay and try and sort it out if they loved the girl instead of risking losing her forever.

Brooks leaving and allowing her to possibly get engaged to another man very telling.
No guy walks away from a girl they love or hopes
their girl is into another guy more ....even if they are confused.

I think he was just not that into her at that point and felt badly about hurting her.

[SouthernMomOf4]

This same thing happens every season at this time. Two distinct camps. The "happily ever after camp" and the "this is a Fleissing camp". We will know in a few weeks.

My position is no man would put someone through what he put her through last night on a whim. He knows his own heart. And he knew her heart as well. She made it clear when she was "running" while he was "jogging". And if you recall, he said then he "wasn't there". He got his validation from his family and he never waived with CH that he needed to leave. He was clear more time wasn't going to change it. He has never been as invested as she was.

Like I said, if somehow he winds up putting a ring on it we will get the break up news right around the time the Bach begins if not before. If I am wrong, I prefer my crow barbecued.

[Pattycake92]

Sorry, but I just do not agree. Even CH asked him that very thing, why not take the time on the FD to explore his feelings with Des and take the private time to talk to her and maybe figure out where they are? Des said to him that she was going to tell him that she loved him on their FD.  So all Brooks had to do was give it chance. Otherwise, why didn't he bow out earlier? I don't see any consistency, internal or otherwise, in what Brooks did.  

The other thing is that Des wrote in her blog posted today that she never knew about his conversation with his family. That was the first time she saw it. Also, she said that he never indicated to her in their time together that was he in any way conflicted about his feelings. She had no idea about this supposed internal struggle.  She clearly indicated in her blog that she believed he led her to believe that he did care for her and that there were no deep seated conflicts. That's why she was so blindsided.  Brooks didn't know that she really loved him all along. So why not give it a chance and spend some along time together if he had come this far? Otherwise, he should have gotten out of it sooner.

That's not what she said in her blog. Here ya go

I was surprised watching the episode and seeing the conversations Brooks had with his mother and sister and with Chris Harrison, expressing his doubts and feelings. He never expressed those concerns with me until it was too late. I was completely blindsided and heartbroken by his exit.

She was surprised at what he said. Not that he met with his mom and Chris.

[Cecilia]

This same thing happens every season at this time.  Two distinct camps.  The "happily ever after camp" and the "this is a Fleissing camp".  We will know in a few weeks.

My position is no man would put someone through what he put her through last night on a whim.  He knows his own heart.  And he knew her heart as well.  She made it clear when she was "running" while he was "jogging".  And if you recall, he said then he "wasn't there".  He got his validation from his family and he never waived with CH that he needed to leave.  He was clear more time wasn't going to change it.  He has never been as invested as she was.  

Like I said, if somehow he winds up putting a ring on it we will get the break up news right around the time the Bach begins if not before.  If I am wrong, I prefer my crow barbecued.  

Well, I'm in the somewhere in between camp! It's definitely not "happily ever after" after watching what happened on tv last night (which BTW it looked like they gave us A LOT of the footage of their talk). But I also think if they want the chance they deserve it and that's their business.

[Ariela]

And then there's this which makes you doubt that she chose Chris or Drew

Stay tuned next week to find out what happens with Brooks, my broken heart and the remaining men. 

The remaining men?  Like they are an afterthought or something. 


And telling us they passed notes?  Not something you would do if you are currently in a relationship with Chris or Drew.

From our dates, notes passed and words spoken, he led me to believe that he was on board and wanted this to work out. 

This season clearly now all about Brooks and Des.
The other guys are just that - other guys to her.

" LED ME TO BELIEVE he wanted this to work out"
Does not sound good ..

" Better I found out in Antigua than later down the road "
Also not a positive sign ...

IF she were happy and with Brooks she would not be making these cryptic statements today.

Evidently those passed notes didn't make any difference, Brooks still dumped her on TV.

So how is it, Patty, that you think picking Chris or Drew would be worse than taking Brooks back?
IMO, both situations are  losing propositions.

Taking wishy washy Brooks back is as bad or even worse than choosing one of the other guys who she is still not in love with, but there is still hope because she didn't allow herself to fall with the others concentrating on Brooks. She told Brooks that she was saving her heart for him, so basically didn't give the other guys a chance. Had she known that Brooks does not love her, she may have let herself fall for some of the other guys. She thought that she and Brooks were on the same page all this time. That's just wrong.

Brooks dumped her, and Des was guilting (? a word) him into staying....I wanted you to meet my family....arghhh
The girl needs some self respect. She begged Sean not to dump her. Now Brooks...

[Nativenewyorker]

How can you say Brooks was not honest with Des because he did not tell her he was talking to his family.  What was he suppose to do  call her or go knock on her door and tell her.  He hasn't been able to see her since the HT date.

READ her blog. Des is saying in her blog that she was NOT aware of some things, and she mentions the Brooks' family talk until she saw it on TV. Obviously she writes these blogs AFTER she watches the episode. IF she's currently with him don't you think he'd tell her the entire story?

Are you guys getting annoyed by the TRUTH?

Thank you for saying this and keeping it real! I say read her blog for yourselves and see exactly what she said! She wrote this blog after watching the episode! So this was the first time that she saw Brooks talking to his family and heard him expressing these doubts. If they really are together and he was her F1 in the end, then wouldn't he have told her about this? Why would he not let her know about this important talk with his family?

What Des is saying in her blog is not difficult to understand. What I simply don't understand is why anyone would still want Des to be with Brooks given all that has happened and what CH said on GMA and what Des herself said in her blog? Is it about her happiness or satisfying fans of Brooks?

[Kashathediva]

The guy sat down and in a very straight forward well thought out way said he is not in love with Desiree.

If production convinces him to put a ring on it next week - I would give milk a longer shelf life.

I believe he likes and respects Desiree, but love it is not.  Brooks comes across as a man who thinks things through carefully before putting it out there so he must have really put thought into walking away like he did knowing it would be hurtful.

The whole season there has been red flag after red flag after red flag with this guy and yet since RS says he is F1 everyone wants to believe in a Cinderella happy ending.  Unfortunately real life is messy and you don't always get that happy ending.  Realistically speaking this situation looks a lot like a hot mess.

Thank you! I particularly like your got milk quote!! 

[Kashathediva]

Was Brooks supposed to say 'I'm just not that into you' so don't give me a rose next time.  If there were 'red flag's' she missed, why didn't CH point them out to her during their RC talks?  Chris doesn't mind stepping up to the plate when a guy has a girlfriend back home and bringing it to the lead's attention.  So funny how this show has lastest this long?   

Because it was storyboarded to be this way from the onset. CH did give some clues--and then promptly led her off to her own demise.

[nannymargie]

I think breaking up was the hard part. If he comes back, it'll be because he's had a complete change of heart or a lightbulb moment. To me, it'd be easier to just go on home. Coming back and begging for a second chance isn't going to be easy by any means.

Patty, how many people on this forum have broken up with someone and gotten back together?  That's why I don't understand why some say she should not take him back.  If she loves him that much she will give him another chance.  When Brooks comes back that is because he really knows in his heart that Des is the love of his life.

[Cecilia]

I think breaking up was the hard part. If he comes back, it'll be because he's had a complete change of heart or a lightbulb moment. To me, it'd be easier to just go on home. Coming back and begging for a second chance isn't going to be easy by any means.

Patty, how many people on this forum have broken up with someone and gotten back together?  That's why I don't understand why some say she should not take him back.  If she loves him that much she will give him another chance.  When Brooks comes back that is because he really knows in his heart that Des is the love of his life.

I think it's more - I don't need to know if she is the love of my life after this weird experiment/dating reality show but I care enough about her to want to try dating her in the real world. If that's good enough for her (got what she needs rather than what she wanted?) then he wants to try with her.

[Nativenewyorker]

How can you say Brooks was not honest with Des because he did not tell her he was talking to his family.  What was he suppose to do  call her or go knock on her door and tell her.  He hasn't been able to see her since the HT date.

READ her blog. Des is saying in her blog that she was NOT aware of some things, and she mentions the Brooks' family talk until she saw it on TV. Obviously she writes these blogs AFTER she watches the episode. IF she's currently with him don't you think he'd tell her the entire story?

Are you guys getting annoyed by the TRUTH?

 Are you purposely trying to annoy anyone? Your posts are comical.

On a serious note, did Des say she was not aware that he spoke with his family when they initially broke up in Antigua or that she didn't know it until now (present day)?

That is exactly the point she was trying to make.

The fact is that Des pointed out in her blog that she did not know that Brooks spoke to his family prior to Antigua.
If he was her F1 - wouldn't that have been discussed between them since filming ? Surely he would have spoken to her about his confusion and doubt.

That itself is a huge red flag IMO and I'm not sure why when stuff like this is being pointed out the poster is being made fun of.  
Is everyone in high school here ?  


And she could have left that thought (about discussing what happened) completely out of her blog if she choose to.

Seriously folks start taking off the  .
It is entirely possible that he is F1 and the spoilers are right. We have all known that since day 1 and Brooks f1 should come as a shock to nobody. But how about tracking a few clues that they are wrong ?

Well said! I don't think there is any reason for it to get so personal that other posters have to be attacked. Someone is explaining a point and just because it doesn't happen to go along with what someone else may want, then it has to be comical? I don't get it. As has been said, this is just reality show. The people involved usually manage to come out of it okay. They do go on with their lives. The world doesn't end.

I see nothing wrong with providing clues that the spoiled ending may not be correct.

[Nativenewyorker]

Sorry, but I just do not agree. Even CH asked him that very thing, why not take the time on the FD to explore his feelings with Des and take the private time to talk to her and maybe figure out where they are? Des said to him that she was going to tell him that she loved him on their FD.  So all Brooks had to do was give it chance. Otherwise, why didn't he bow out earlier? I don't see any consistency, internal or otherwise, in what Brooks did.  

The other thing is that Des wrote in her blog posted today that she never knew about his conversation with his family. That was the first time she saw it. Also, she said that he never indicated to her in their time together that was he in any way conflicted about his feelings. She had no idea about this supposed internal struggle.  She clearly indicated in her blog that she believed he led her to believe that he did care for her and that there were no deep seated conflicts. That's why she was so blindsided.  Brooks didn't know that she really loved him all along. So why not give it a chance and spend some along time together if he had come this far? Otherwise, he should have gotten out of it sooner.

That's not what she said in her blog. Here ya go

I was surprised watching the episode and seeing the conversations Brooks had with his mother and sister and with Chris Harrison, expressing his doubts and feelings. He never expressed those concerns with me until it was too late. I was completely blindsided and heartbroken by his exit.

She was surprised at what he said. Not that he met with his mom and Chris.

You are parsing my words. In the end, that is exactly what I was saying. You are just taking one part of what I said and trying to make it seem that I am saying something other than what I am saying, which is that she was surprised at what he said because he never said them to her. That is the point and it can't be somehow glossed over because it's a big deal.

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