ATFR (Live) - 8/05 - Bachelorette 9 - Discussion and Spoilers

I've been holding back (imagine that) but here goes:

I don't believe for one minute that Des can feel total devastation one day, and say:

~I love you and you're the only one I can say that to.
~I don't care that you just broke my heart, I love you.
~I was conflicted because I didn't want to share my heart. I wanted to give it to you.
~When I was going on dates I wanted to go on dates with you, that's why I was conflicted.
~This sucks. I've done everything alone and that's why I was hoping to meet someone to share my life with.
~I just can't love them as much as I know I have to give. And that's not what they deserve.
~Honestly for me, it's over.
~I just want to go home.

and then magically go on one date with Chris and flip it around.

Her answer to that question today? The process is accelerated. That's how she can do it.  

There is a reason Chris is not watching that break-up with Brooks. He is clueless and can't even understand why everyone is asking him how he feels about it on the talk show circuit. Is that a good way to start a relationship? The past makes us who we are. Hiding it is not the answer. Everyone around them is talking about it and they are just going to pretend like it never happened?

I know Chris is a great guy and I know Des had feelings for him. But it is a complete dishonor to him to accept a proposal after what she just went through a few days before and think people are going to buy into it.

When your heart is broken, it takes time to heal. You can't give a broken heart to someone else to heal. You have to heal it yourself before you can give it away again. I don't care how "accelerated" the process is. One LCD date and a few MTP hours is not enough time.

I do wish them well. I hope they can move out of the limelight. It's the only way they have a chance.

Beeleever wrote:I've been holding back (imagine that) but here goes:

I don't believe for one minute that Des can feel total devastation one day, and say:

~I love you and you're the only one I can say that to.
~I don't care that you just broke my heart, I love you.
~I was conflicted because I didn't want to share my heart. I wanted to give it to you.
~When I was going on dates I wanted to go on dates with you, that's why I was conflicted.
~This sucks. I've done everything alone and that's why I was hoping to meet someone to share my life with.
~I just can't love them as much as I know I have to give. And that's not what they deserve.
~Honestly for me, it's over.
~I just want to go home.

and then magically go on one date with Chris and flip it around.

Her answer to that question today? The process is accelerated. That's how she can do it.  

There is a reason Chris is not watching that break-up with Brooks. He is clueless and can't even understand why everyone is asking him how he feels about it on the talk show circuit. Is that a good way to start a relationship? The past makes us who we are. Hiding it is not the answer. Everyone around them is talking about it and they are just going to pretend like it never happened?

I know Chris is a great guy and I know Des had feelings for him. But it is a complete dishonor to him to accept a proposal after what she just went through a few days before and think people are going to buy into it.

When your heart is broken, it takes time to heal. You can't give a broken heart to someone else to heal. You have to heal it yourself before you can give it away again. I don't care how "accelerated" the process is. One LCD date and a few MTP hours is not enough time.

I do wish them well. I hope they can move out of the limelight. It's the only way they have a chance.

GREAT POST! I AGREE TOTALLY.

Beeleever wrote:I've been holding back (imagine that) but here goes:

I don't believe for one minute that Des can feel total devastation one day, and say:

~I love you and you're the only one I can say that to.
~I don't care that you just broke my heart, I love you.
~I was conflicted because I didn't want to share my heart. I wanted to give it to you.
~When I was going on dates I wanted to go on dates with you, that's why I was conflicted.
~This sucks. I've done everything alone and that's why I was hoping to meet someone to share my life with.
~I just can't love them as much as I know I have to give. And that's not what they deserve.
~Honestly for me, it's over.
~I just want to go home.

and then magically go on one date with Chris and flip it around.

Her answer to that question today? The process is accelerated. That's how she can do it.  

There is a reason Chris is not watching that break-up with Brooks. He is clueless and can't even understand why everyone is asking him how he feels about it on the talk show circuit. Is that a good way to start a relationship? The past makes us who we are. Hiding it is not the answer. Everyone around them is talking about it and they are just going to pretend like it never happened?

I know Chris is a great guy and I know Des had feelings for him. But it is a complete dishonor to him to accept a proposal after what she just went through a few days before and think people are going to buy into it.

When your heart is broken, it takes time to heal. You can't give a broken heart to someone else to heal. You have to heal it yourself before you can give it away again. I don't care how "accelerated" the process is. One LCD date and a few MTP hours is not enough time.

I do wish them well. I hope they can move out of the limelight. It's the only way they have a chance.

I agree Bee, and worse yet she is telling the media that it was TWO weeks from the time Brooks left and the proposal!!! Can you believe that?!  Poor Chris KNOWS that is not true. I agree 100% with Des about not letting the past define your future but when you need to tell a big lie about the past for the sake of your present and future that's not a good thing!

I'm not going to watch Des and Chris on the talk show circuit but could one of you please summarise what Chris has been saying when asked about Des and Brooks ? TIA

dw_a_mom wrote:

Piper61 wrote:I think I recall her saying she was falling for Chris but not that she loved Chris.  I could be misremembering, but even after that, what she said during and after her Madeira date with Brooks reaffirmed how she felt about him.  Until the breakup and even during the breakup she confessed she loved him, and the infamous not being able to love the other two the same.  I guess a good excuse is saying your love for one, blinded and blocked the possibility with the others.  But she would not have said that had Brooks went on the FD, and stayed until the end.  I can't reconcile being so in love with Brooks for awhile, and then 3-5 days later being in love with Chris to accept his proposal.  It happened, they're engaged, but I reserve a bit of doubt to her total sincerity accepting the proposal.  Time heals, so she has had time to heal now but I don't think she has completely and I still didn't see the same sparkle with Chris last night that I saw with Brooks.  Granted, we didn't see every moment and agentcurls said they were very cudly, kissy and sweet with each other.  I wish them the best for their future together.

Overall, I agree with you.  But one thing to remember:

I think all proposals and acceptances on this show are leaps of faith, and in this case no different - although it probably had to be a bigger leap of faith than usual.

Just remember that these aren't real proposals, so you have to take that lens off of it.  They are expressions of hope for a possible future together, with the Bachelor Bubble giving them incentive to frame it as a proposal.

It is a lot easier to believe when you look at that way.

Good things to point out again, dw.  

nd4reality wrote:I'm not going to watch Des and Chris on the talk show circuit but could one of you please summarise what Chris has been saying when asked about Des and Brooks ? TIA

Its sad nd4...just that he has not seen the breakup because he and Des talked about and thought it would be best. But I am sure he has seen clips by now and the barrage of questions have made him curious. Something tells me after the interviews today he'll be going home to sneak a peek at what went down.

sfrank wrote:

nd4reality wrote:I'm not going to watch Des and Chris on the talk show circuit but could one of you please summarise what Chris has been saying when asked about Des and Brooks ? TIA

Its sad nd4...just that he has not seen and because he and Des talked about and thought it would be best. But I am sure he has seen clips by now and the barrage of questions have make him curious. Something tells me after the interviews today he'll be going home to sneak a peek at what went down.  

He hasn't watched ? Really ? Yes it is sad. I hope he is strong enough to stomach it even if they are really happy (which I think they are).

I hope she told him exactly what went down those days exactly. She cannot even lie about it because it is all on tape for everyone to see. But I agree it is sad that he was taken out on the media circuit without full disclosure and prepping prior.


As I said I am not going to watch their media circuit - at least for now. Perhaps when their relationship is more cemented I will consider going back to watch. I've done that before - skipped over this stage and oftentimes never even looked back particularly when the couple is splitsville in 6 months time.

sfrank wrote:

nd4reality wrote:I'm not going to watch Des and Chris on the talk show circuit but could one of you please summarise what Chris has been saying when asked about Des and Brooks ? TIA

Its sad nd4...just that he has not seen the breakup because he and Des talked about and thought it would be best. But I am sure he has seen clips by now and the barrage of questions have made him curious. Something tells me after the interviews today he'll be going home to sneak a peek at what went down.

I'm going to go ahead and disagree! If you had been following who chris is the way I have you would know chris isn't that immature! He knows that des cared for brooks and that she is now engaged and in love with him! He isn't going to dwell on what happened 3 months ago but he is going to move forward with HIS fiancé who seem quite happy IMO! Also chris said they have built something great post show and that's what matters! He is not delusional and if anyone has settled it it certainly isn't des! She's the winner for the having chris by her side right now!

Oh boy...please let's not stoop to the level that we accuse people who have a different perspective as being bitter. I just read that on another thread.

I have the right to my opinion just the same as everyone else in this discussion forum. I don't know these people. I'm not invested in their relationship. I'm looking at the reality of the situation.

I have nothing against either Des or Chris or them as a couple. I just don't buy the sudden flip or the acceptance of a proposal in a matter of days. And neither is most of the viewing audience based on the reaction today.

sfrank wrote:

nd4reality wrote:I'm not going to watch Des and Chris on the talk show circuit but could one of you please summarise what Chris has been saying when asked about Des and Brooks ? TIA

Its sad nd4...just that he has not seen the breakup because he and Des talked about and thought it would be best. But I am sure he has seen clips by now and the barrage of questions have made him curious. Something tells me after the interviews today he'll be going home to sneak a peek at what went down.

I might be crazy but I think I would have more issue with the fantasy suite. If I proposed to somebody who slept with two other people the week before that would bother me more. I have read many of your posts over the seasons who day that is the norm.

I also think Chris is mature and by all the crying that went on last night knew there were feelings for Brooks. I also think he is confident enough in what they have. Shooting ended two months ago and I think she is honest enough to share. She knows darn well he can find it. I also thing moving this weekend and ending this media circus shows the level of maturity and the depth. She said she always fell for the wrong guys and was afraid of doing it again. While he is not my type he is secure in his own skin and does provide her with the security she needs. Heck, the guy got through a conversation/grilling with brother Nate. I am not going to second guess her and wish them the best as only they know what really happened. We saw the edit. I would have supported her no matter who she picked as she is a grown woman and we were not there. We just watched the TV production. Big difference!

Swissmiss wrote:

sfrank wrote:

nd4reality wrote:I'm not going to watch Des and Chris on the talk show circuit but could one of you please summarise what Chris has been saying when asked about Des and Brooks ? TIA

Its sad nd4...just that he has not seen the breakup because he and Des talked about and thought it would be best. But I am sure he has seen clips by now and the barrage of questions have made him curious. Something tells me after the interviews today he'll be going home to sneak a peek at what went down.

I might be crazy but I think I would have more issue with the fantasy suite. If I proposed to somebody who slept with two other people the week before that would bother me more. I have read many of your posts over the seasons who day that is the norm.

I also think Chris is mature and by all the crying that went on last night knew there were feelings for Brooks. I also think he is confident enough in what they have. Shooting ended two months ago and I think she is honest enough to share. She knows darn well he can find it. I also thing moving this weekend and ending this media circus shows the level of maturity and the depth. She said she always fell for the wrong guys and was afraid of doing it again. While he is not my type he is secure in his own skin and does provide her with the security she needs. Heck, the guy got through a conversation/grilling with brother Nate. I am not going to second guess her and wish them the best as only they know what really happened. We saw the edit. I would have supported her no matter who she picked as she is a grown woman and we were not there. We just watched the TV production. Big difference!

Thanks Swissmiss, totally second what you wrote....all opinions are welcome but folks should remember this saying, "if you put people down, it means you are already below them". Only time will tell with Des and Chris, they have about the same chance as surviving as the past couples that have come out from this show, and if they do, it's kudos to them for making it work, afterall it's their lives and no onle else's.

I have always said I am a Des supporter and I will continue to say that. I trust her judgement and her right to make the decisions that are right in her life. I don't have to agree with them, and in this instance I don't. IMHO, she should have never accepted a proposal after Brooks broke her heart only days earlier. But as someone else pointed out, on this show a proposal is just an agreement to date IRL and see where is goes after the show.

Looking at it from that perspective, I do wish them well and hope they live happily ever after.