Episode 8 (HTD's) - 2/18 - Bachelor 17 - Discussion - Spoilers

My DIL is Filipino from somewhat northern Philippines, looks a bit like Catherine and I consider my son very lucky to have her. She is smart and beautiful and from a farm. The first thing I noticed is that she assumes people she meets are nice - they have to prove otherwise. "Amercians" tend to be a little more skeptical when meeting new people. And she's learned, unfortunately, that Americans can be critical and gossipy especially in some areas they've lived in. I wish I could visit her home and attend their Christmas celebrations. Their "rural" local church is amazing - the figurines and stained glass are as nice as any church here. The entry to it can be fully opened from wall to wall - what a welcoming way to enter a church.

Thanks for the insight, Catwoman and everyone else who talked about their situation.

I could see them working through the cultural differences. We don't have that in our relationship but still our upbringing & families couldn't be more different.

albean99 wrote:Thanks for the insight, Catwoman and everyone else who talked about their situation.

I could see them working through the cultural differences. We don't have that in our relationship but still our upbringing & families couldn't be more different.

I've always thought people all over the world are more the Same than they are Different. And that's a good thing.

[quote="RealityEscape"]

albean99 wrote:Thanks for the insight, Catwoman and everyone else who talked about their situation.

I could see them working through the cultural differences. We don't have that in our relationship but still our upbringing & families couldn't be more different.

I've always thought people all over the world are more the Same than they are Different. And that's a good thing.[/quote]



Great way of putting it and I totally agree. When looking for my husband, I didn't want someone that was a exact copy of myself. I wanted someone different from me. That's the spice of life. : ),

RealityEscape wrote:

albean99 wrote:Thanks for the insight, Catwoman and everyone else who talked about their situation.

I could see them working through the cultural differences. We don't have that in our relationship but still our upbringing & families couldn't be more different.

I've always thought people all over the world are more the Same than they are Different. And that's a good thing.

I totally agree. There are times when I feel that a non-Filipino friend understands me so much better than my Filipino ones. I would like to think that over the years, I have kept and passed on to my children the best of my Filipino heritage and tradition such as my faith, respect for elders, the importance of education, a work ethic that requires always giving your best whether in sports, a job, or academics, etc. I discuss with my children what I don't like about my culture: the difficulty to confront or work out conflicts openly, the need to please the family at the cost of one's dreams and aspirations, and the preoccupation with material things (check out Filipino cars, designer clothes, purses, and bling blings =D).

estahafa wrote:

RealityEscape wrote:

albean99 wrote:Thanks for the insight, Catwoman and everyone else who talked about their situation.

I could see them working through the cultural differences. We don't have that in our relationship but still our upbringing & families couldn't be more different.

I've always thought people all over the world are more the Same than they are Different. And that's a good thing.

I totally agree. There are times when I feel that a non-Filipino friend understands me so much better than my Filipino ones. I would like to think that over the years, I have kept and passed on to my children the best of my Filipino heritage and tradition such as my faith, respect for elders, the importance of education, a work ethic that requires always giving your best whether in sports, a job, or academics, etc. I discuss with my children what I don't like about my culture: the difficulty to confront or work out conflicts openly, the need to please the family at the cost of one's dreams and aspirations, and the preoccupation with material things (check out Filipino cars, designer clothes, purses, and bling blings =D).

This. My husband is also non-Filipino (but I am) and I hope that when we eventually have children I will be able to do the same. :-)

[/quote]I totally agree. There are times when I feel that a non-Filipino friend understands me so much better than my Filipino ones. I would like to think that over the years, I have kept and passed on to my children the best of my Filipino heritage and tradition such as my faith, respect for elders, the importance of education, a work ethic that requires always giving your best whether in sports, a job, or academics, etc. I discuss with my children what I don't like about my culture: the difficulty to confront or work out conflicts openly, the need to please the family at the cost of one's dreams and aspirations, and the preoccupation with material things (check out Filipino cars, designer clothes, purses, and bling blings =D).[/quote]

This. My husband is also non-Filipino (but I am) and I hope that when we eventually have children I will be able to do the same. :-)[/quote]

Hi! I am so surprised to meet many kababayan in this forum! Is it because Catherine is like a magnet for us? She certainly represents a slice of our own love stories--falling in love with a non-Filipino man. My boss used to tell me when I was single that I would never end up with a Filipino husband because he thought I have strong opinions about many things, I have pursued higher education, and I always come across independent. He might be right about that because many Filipinos feel threatened by strong women.

I am white and married to a filipino.

My husband saw Catherine, and he had no doubt that she will do whatever Sean says.

He says typical pinays are subservient (or in his words) worship caucasian men. Please dont flog me for this, it is my husband's words not mine.

So as a white woman who has some insight to filipino culture. (My filipino husband and I have three children btw). I would think Catherine would be putty in Sean's hands. As my father in law and husband thinks, filipina women are happy to be the follower to their white husband and maybe that is what Sean is seeking, who knows. I just wish he will not take advantage of that. Ive seen many asian women with white boyfriends and he is always the boss, and she always ends up the one compromising. I see this in Sean and Catherine's dynamic. She worship her, and he will be there for her as long as she is the follower to his lead.

No flogging but Cat has never lived in the Philippines, born in Washington, raised in Seattle, and her teenage years by an academic single mother.
I love hearing everyone's comments on Filipino women, but I think we also need to factor in that Catherine is a modern american girl. Not accepting to have sex on a tv show so as not to embarass her more traditional family is one thing, being subservient is another.

twinkletoes143 wrote:I am white and married to a filipino.

My husband saw Catherine, and he had no doubt that she will do whatever Sean says.

He says typical pinays are subservient (or in his words) worship caucasian men. Please dont flog me for this, it is my husband's words not mine.

So as a white woman who has some insight to filipino culture. (My filipino husband and I have three children btw). I would think Catherine would be putty in Sean's hands. As my father in law and husband thinks, filipina women are happy to be the follower to their white husband and maybe that is what Sean is seeking, who knows. I just wish he will not take advantage of that. Ive seen many asian women with white boyfriends and he is always the boss, and she always ends up the one compromising. I see this in Sean and Catherine's dynamic. She worship her, and he will be there for her as long as she is the follower to his lead.

I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area. Every 3rd couple there is white-man-asian-woman (not really, but really) or white-man-hapa-woman (like Catherine). In my observation, in those couples, the man might be the financial leader, but the woman is the leader in every other way. It's just that the women "lead from behind", as the female pros on DWTS might say. This is the dynamic I see btwn Sean & Catherine - Catherine is setting the emotional tone and pace of her relationship with Sean.

HowSoonIsNow wrote:

twinkletoes143 wrote:I am white and married to a filipino.

My husband saw Catherine, and he had no doubt that she will do whatever Sean says.

He says typical pinays are subservient (or in his words) worship caucasian men. Please dont flog me for this, it is my husband's words not mine.

So as a white woman who has some insight to filipino culture. (My filipino husband and I have three children btw). I would think Catherine would be putty in Sean's hands. As my father in law and husband thinks, filipina women are happy to be the follower to their white husband and maybe that is what Sean is seeking, who knows. I just wish he will not take advantage of that. Ive seen many asian women with white boyfriends and he is always the boss, and she always ends up the one compromising. I see this in Sean and Catherine's dynamic. She worship her, and he will be there for her as long as she is the follower to his lead.

I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area. Every 3rd couple there is white-man-asian-woman (not really, but really) or white-man-hapa-woman (like Catherine). In my observation, in those couples, the man might be the financial leader, but the woman is the leader in every other way. It's just that the women "lead from behind", as the female pros on DWTS might say. This is the dynamic I see btwn Sean & Catherine - Catherine is setting the emotional tone and pace of her relationship with Sean.

Hehe - this reminds my of my favorite quote from 'my big fat Greek wedding'' when the daughter is frustrated with her mom about the men being the head of the house.. Good old mom says, 'the man may be the head, but the woman is the neck. And the neck can turn the head whichever way she wants to.' classic!

sophienette wrote:No flogging but Cat has never lived in the Philippines, born in Washington, raised in Seattle, and her teenage years by an academic single mother.
I love hearing everyone's comments on Filipino women, but I think we also need to factor in that Catherine is a modern american girl. Not accepting to have sex on a tv show so as not to embarass her more traditional family is one thing, being subservient is another.

ITA. My husband and I both wear the pants in our family. Sometimes he tops and sometimes I... Oh wait wrong reference :Biggrin:. I believe the best partnerships practice equal opportunity. JMO