Episode 8 (HTD's) - 2/18 - Bachelor 17 - Discussion - Spoilers

Jaybird wrote:

HowSoonIsNow wrote:

twinkletoes143 wrote:I am white and married to a filipino.

My husband saw Catherine, and he had no doubt that she will do whatever Sean says.

He says typical pinays are subservient (or in his words) worship caucasian men. Please dont flog me for this, it is my husband's words not mine.

So as a white woman who has some insight to filipino culture. (My filipino husband and I have three children btw). I would think Catherine would be putty in Sean's hands. As my father in law and husband thinks, filipina women are happy to be the follower to their white husband and maybe that is what Sean is seeking, who knows. I just wish he will not take advantage of that. Ive seen many asian women with white boyfriends and he is always the boss, and she always ends up the one compromising. I see this in Sean and Catherine's dynamic. She worship her, and he will be there for her as long as she is the follower to his lead.

I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area. Every 3rd couple there is white-man-asian-woman (not really, but really) or white-man-hapa-woman (like Catherine). In my observation, in those couples, the man might be the financial leader, but the woman is the leader in every other way. It's just that the women "lead from behind", as the female pros on DWTS might say. This is the dynamic I see btwn Sean & Catherine - Catherine is setting the emotional tone and pace of her relationship with Sean.

Hehe - this reminds my of my favorite quote from 'my big fat Greek weeding' when the daughter is frustrated with her mom about the men being the head of the house.. Good old mom says, 'the man may be the head, but the woman is the neck. And the neck can turn the head whichever way she wants to.' classic!

sophienette wrote:No flogging but Cat has never lived in the Philippines, born in Washington, raised in Seattle, and her teenage years by an academic single mother.
I love hearing everyone's comments on Filipino women, but I think we also need to factor in that Catherine is a modern american girl. Not accepting to have sex on a tv show so as not to embarass her more traditional family is one thing, being subservient is another.

gabriele wrote:it's interesting to hear the stories about filipino culture. fortunately, i don't think sean and cat will have any problems due to cultural differences. as for being more subservient faith can play into that as well. i don't know how conservative sean is but in some church circles the husband is considered the head of the household and supposed to lead. not all of us buy into that teaching though.

Catdwoman50 wrote:

Jaybird wrote:

HowSoonIsNow wrote:

twinkletoes143 wrote:I am white and married to a filipino.

My husband saw Catherine, and he had no doubt that she will do whatever Sean says.

He says typical pinays are subservient (or in his words) worship caucasian men. Please dont flog me for this, it is my husband's words not mine.

So as a white woman who has some insight to filipino culture. (My filipino husband and I have three children btw). I would think Catherine would be putty in Sean's hands. As my father in law and husband thinks, filipina women are happy to be the follower to their white husband and maybe that is what Sean is seeking, who knows. I just wish he will not take advantage of that. Ive seen many asian women with white boyfriends and he is always the boss, and she always ends up the one compromising. I see this in Sean and Catherine's dynamic. She worship her, and he will be there for her as long as she is the follower to his lead.

I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area. Every 3rd couple there is white-man-asian-woman (not really, but really) or white-man-hapa-woman (like Catherine). In my observation, in those couples, the man might be the financial leader, but the woman is the leader in every other way. It's just that the women "lead from behind", as the female pros on DWTS might say. This is the dynamic I see btwn Sean & Catherine - Catherine is setting the emotional tone and pace of her relationship with Sean.

Hehe - this reminds my of my favorite quote from 'my big fat Greek weeding' when the daughter is frustrated with her mom about the men being the head of the house.. Good old mom says, 'the man may be the head, but the woman is the neck. And the neck can turn the head whichever way she wants to.' classic!

Love your post. I can totally relate.

gabriele wrote:it's interesting to hear the stories about filipino culture. fortunately, i don't think sean and cat will have any problems due to cultural differences. as for being more subservient faith can play into that as well. i don't know how conservative sean is but in some church circles the husband is considered the head of the household and supposed to lead. not all of us buy into that teaching though.

jcrbil wrote:I think many have the wrong idea of what Christians believe as the man as head of the "household" thinking it necessarily requires submission in a negative sense. I think Christian marriage requires the husband to love his wife sacrificially (as Christ, who DIED for the church). The word that is often translated "submit" in the husband/wife scriptures is better translated "yield" as in a response to being loved. I have heard Sean want to say he is wants to be the spiritual head of the household, but as he said when Selma talked about once having made up her mind about something, it was made up, Sean expects both discussion and compromise (which connotes bi-lateral decision making).

dw_a_mom wrote:

sophienette wrote:No flogging but Cat has never lived in the Philippines, born in Washington, raised in Seattle, and her teenage years by an academic single mother.
I love hearing everyone's comments on Filipino women, but I think we also need to factor in that Catherine is a modern american girl. Not accepting to have sex on a tv show so as not to embarass her more traditional family is one thing, being subservient is another.

Agreed.

marriedtoabaritone wrote:

jcrbil wrote:I think many have the wrong idea of what Christians believe as the man as head of the "household" thinking it necessarily requires submission in a negative sense. I think Christian marriage requires the husband to love his wife sacrificially (as Christ, who DIED for the church). The word that is often translated "submit" in the husband/wife scriptures is better translated "yield" as in a response to being loved. I have heard Sean want to say he is wants to be the spiritual head of the household, but as he said when Selma talked about once having made up her mind about something, it was made up, Sean expects both discussion and compromise (which connotes bi-lateral decision making).

This is such a tricky topic, but I think you did a great job explaining, jcrbil. I know in my own marriage, our goal is mutual submission, or a figurative dying to our own selfish desires (over what's best for our family). I do not think it means that we shouldn't have our own goals or dreams or that it's the wife's job to give in 100% of the time, which is how I think "submission" has come to be seen.

My husband and I have very unique strengths and skill sets that work best when we're working together toward a mutual goal. He is my best friend and it's my joy to show him love and respect, just as he does me.