Bachelor 24 - Peter Weber - General Discussion - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

We’ve seen Barb with Hannah Ann & Hannah B, no issues with them, in fact she loved them, even after Hannah B dumped Peter, & Hannah Ann told him he wasn’t a real man. She’s posted about her love for Kelley & producer Julie. Peter’s ex gf Calee said she got along great with his parents, I think the ex gf that was on the show to expose VF also said something similar about getting along with the parents. There’s definitely a pattern with Barb, but the pattern is that Barb seems to get along great with the women in Peter’s life. Except Madison. And idk what Barb’s relationship is with Jack’s gf, but they’ve been together for over a year, I think whatever her opinion of Barb is, she’s had enough personal experience with Barb to base it on that, not a reality tv appearance where viewers clearly haven’t gotten the full story. All jmo.

Tiggerlgh wrote:

Linds911 wrote:Lordy that IG video Barb posted. She and Mamma Murray should become friends. Totally reminds me how she acted the whole time Andi and Josh were together/engaged. If Peter and Madison did stay together for awhile I could see the same thing happening- spending more time with her family then his until the holidays roll around. Barb is going to do this with every gf he has from here on out. Wonder how she is with Peter's brother's gf?

Not necessarily the Barb loves HA and Kelly.  It’s not every girl she dislikes.

HB as well. Barb was in the audience at ATFR. Nothing suggested she harbored ill will toward Hannah B even though she rejected Peter. Barb even laughed and clapped along when the 4x in a windmill was revealed. Nothing negative from her was noted.

@notarose true! It’s really just Madi as Renae posted above. She like Jacks girlfriend as well.

notarose wrote:

Tiggerlgh wrote:

Linds911 wrote:Lordy that IG video Barb posted. She and Mamma Murray should become friends. Totally reminds me how she acted the whole time Andi and Josh were together/engaged. If Peter and Madison did stay together for awhile I could see the same thing happening- spending more time with her family then his until the holidays roll around. Barb is going to do this with every gf he has from here on out. Wonder how she is with Peter's brother's gf?

Not necessarily the Barb loves HA and Kelly.  It’s not every girl she dislikes.

HB as well. Barb was in the audience at ATFR. Nothing suggested she harbored ill will toward Hannah B even though she rejected Peter. Barb even laughed and clapped along when the 4x in a windmill was revealed. Nothing negative from her was noted.

Sorry, but I don't trust anything from a woman who publicly humiliated her own son on national tv. She certainly didn't care if they dumped Peter because it brought him back to her and I doubt she considered any of them a real threat. HB in particular while she had dumped her little Bud had just proved to the nation what a stud he was...4x!!! That made mommy dearest really proud. That was the moment where I thought things were weird in that household. I think Madi was the only one that didn't play her game and the only one that made Bud stand up to her...if only for a little bit. :babies: JMO

ReneeM wrote:We’ve seen Barb with Hannah Ann & Hannah B, no issues with them, in fact she loved them, even after Hannah B dumped Peter, & Hannah Ann told him he wasn’t a real man. She’s posted about her love for Kelley & producer Julie. Peter’s ex gf Calee said she got along great with his parents, I think the ex gf that was on the show to expose VF also said something similar about getting along with the parents. There’s definitely a pattern with Barb, but the pattern is that Barb seems to get along great with the women in Peter’s life. Except Madison. And idk what Barb’s relationship is with Jack’s gf, but they’ve been together for over a year, I think whatever her opinion of Barb is, she’s had enough personal experience with Barb to base it on that, not a reality tv appearance where viewers clearly haven’t gotten the full story. All jmo.

Just my thoughts about why BarbW would seem to not get along with several other women in Peter’s life?

The last girlfriend that lived out of state from Peter was eliminated from his life coincidentally just when they started making plans to move together AWAY from LA and Barb ‘s control. He also was offered The Bachelorette gig, which I could see his mom REALLY pushing him in that direction...

Hannah B.:  She let go of Peter and may have broken his heart up, BUT didn’t take him away from HER , and gave him a public sexual prowess reputation that she quite enjoyed on the live Finale, Hannah  did not live FAR AWAY, was based in LA when everything was coming to the end. She DIDNT feel threatened. Also, it opened the door for Peter to become the Bachelor...

Hannah S.: The only meeting they had was very short and HS said all the things that made her feel she would still be in control, she was young and wanting to live in LA, would worship her son and herself, and didn’t seem like a threat. Maybe she sensed that Peter was not into her as much.

Madison : She first met her at the vow Renewal,  and thought she was very nice. Fast forward to MTP. I guarantee you that Barb was reading every spoiler and the whole debacle with Madison saving herself for marriage and the non sexual aspects. Plus her son was FaceTiming her and who knows what he told her or them about his inner debate regarding HS and Madison.
When they meet, she is faced with a very genuine but strong girl who is NOT following the usual lines and still has doubts. And she DIDNT have sex with her son. And Barbara has heard of the ‘ ultimatum and is not happy about that. This, in Barbara’s eyes, and she she said so directly to Madison, was not her business to tell Peter, he should have sex with whoever he wants, whenever he wants, and Barb did not appreciate Madi’s stance that it was hurtful to her for him to do so. Major divide right there.
Barbara ‘ won ‘ Peter senior by cheating on his wife, lets remember that he has another son who is COMPLETELY CUT OFF from the Weber’s... So her views and experience are vastly influencing her opinions of Madison. Plus Madison lives FAR from LA and would probably not move nearby LA.
Then Madison’s personality is strong and anchored in morals that just are very foreign to the Weber’s. She is mature and would not be easily swayed by others dictat. She would be an «  equal partner «  with Peter, not a subversive wife that does what MIL wants. She would most likely take Peter AWAY from her. Not only in distance, but emotionally as well. And the ‘coup de grace ‘ was that she felt that Peters feelings for Madison were way stronger and therefore threatened her much more than ever before. The way he talked about Madi, defended her when she went into crisis mode with ‘God has put HA here for you’ ...and he was saying « ‘ don’t do this to me, stop... » And he was talking about moving away...

In a nutshell, Madison represented too many threats for Barbara to accept her in their family’s mist, and frankly, such a good thing that Madi is not having to deal with these dysfunctional issues on a daily basis, she dodged an fricking BOMB. IMO

All JMHO

Astrobach wrote:Just my thoughts about why BarbW would seem to not get along with several other women in Peter’s life?

The last girlfriend that lived out of state from Peter was eliminated from his life coincidentally just when they started making plans to move together AWAY from LA and Barb ‘s control. He also was offered The Bachelorette gig, which I could see his mom REALLY pushing him in that direction...

Hannah B.:  She let go of Peter and did break his heart, BUT didn’t take him away from HER , and gave him a public sexual prowess reputation that she quite enjoyed on the live Finale, Hannah  did not live FAR AWAY, was based in LA when everything was coming to the end. She DIDNT feel threatened. Also, it opened the door for Peter to become the Bachelor...

Correction, Calee & Peter were making plans for her to move to LA, not away from there. As for Hannah B, when Peter was on her season, she still lived in Alabama, & had expressed no plans to move to LA. Everyone’s entitled their opinion ofc. My opinion is that Barb simply didn’t like Madison & everything we know of Peter’s past romantic interests is that Barb’s reaction to Madison is not how she typically behaves. Jmo.

@Astrobach Yes Barb's reaction to Madi was more about Barb's loss of control than anything else. Barb has literally said now that she DOESN'T dislike Madi, and that she doesn’t know her well enough to have formed an opinion. The issue at heart wasn’t really about Madi, it’s that Peter actually stood against what his Mom wanted. Barb wanted him to choose HA and as others have also explained, her toxic household is run on control and coercion where all things must gratify Barb's ego and desires. If you're not a threat to that control then you're in the clear.

Barb was fine with Madi when she first met her too at the vow renewal, it changed after she met HA and Peter started to make it clear it was Madi he loved the most and Barb's opinion wasn't the priority. Peter said the ex gf who confronted Victoria F was someone he saw 4 times in a month. Who knows how she would’ve actually felt if he was potentially marrying her. If Calee didn't represent any threat to Barb's control then I am sure she was fine with her, IMO Barb can turn her anger and tears on and off like a switch.

Let's also look at why Barb would appear to be fine with Hannah B after she dumped Peter. You can only understand that if you understand Barb's psychology. Barb was cheering about the 4 times in a windmill part because she saw that as a positive statement about her son. It was something Barb wanted to hear. This is the same thinking process with Barb applauding Hannah Ann criticizing Peter. Barb wanted Peter to be punished. Hannah Ann did what she wanted to do, it's as simple as that. Barb also later wrote a message to Kelley saying she was always the one she liked the most, hardly a nice thing to say after what HA went through. Barb can appear to “like” anyone in the moment and it's dependent on whether they're doing something she likes and whether it gratifies her ego. IMO even if Barb "likes" you there's nothing solid or stable about it. It can change as soon as you're viewed as a threat to her control (which is exactly how the Weber's dysfunction and IMO abusive cycle shows itself: approval in the family is the equivalent of love).

Knowing who Barb is as a person, the toxic dynamic she created, her capacity to humiliate her children and her own questionable actions, anyone she dislikes should consider it an honor, it probably says something positive about their character. All JMO.

@cheriee Yep, the Only Commun denominator is if Barbara feels threatened in her ‘ authority’ ( her ego needs ) then she is ready to kick you to the curb.
Anyone who agrees with her is in her good graces, but only insofar as this is changing according to Barbs moods and expectations. Pretty much textbook narcissistic IMO.



@ReneeM Same thing, ses above, explained even further by @cheriee

Tiggerlgh wrote:

Linds911 wrote:Lordy that IG video Barb posted. She and Mamma Murray should become friends. Totally reminds me how she acted the whole time Andi and Josh were together/engaged. If Peter and Madison did stay together for awhile I could see the same thing happening- spending more time with her family then his until the holidays roll around. Barb is going to do this with every gf he has from here on out. Wonder how she is with Peter's brother's gf?

Not necessarily the Barb loves HA and Kelly.  It’s not every girl she dislikes.

@Tiggerlgh
IMO, Barb hates girlfriends she can’t control and/or keep in LA and I totally agree with @Jolena. Things will change and the power base will shift rapidly once those girlfriends and finances become wives and mothers. It’s nothing new. Barb will keep her kids under her thumb for as long as she can but, ultimately power accrues to the wife and the mother of the grandkids and her mother. That’s a fact of life. Barb should understand that given her own husband’s reported actions. Also, Peter is clearly looking for a very young wife but, they don’t stay young forever and a thirty year old daughter in law can be quite a bit more powerful than a twenty three year old (although Madi is quite fierce a;d powerful, right now). All IMO.

@Astrobach IMO Barb displays every significant attribute of a narcissistic abuser. None of her actions will make sense if you don't understand that. Narcissists often appear to "like" people, in as much as it's helpful to them getting what they want and maintaining control. When Madi became a threat to what Barb wanted (Peter to get engaged to HA and for her ego to be validated) she went on the attack. Narcissists view their children as simply objects to get them what they want (please note how Peter's own feelings were always viewed as secondary). Barb's love is conditional, if you want to see a pattern there's a significant one. Madi (who was different from anyone he'd ever dated) was likely one of the first times Peter truly went against what his Mother wanted, and IMO Barb made sure Peter and Madi were punished for it.

And can I also say that it is a dangerous mentality to blame the victims of a narcissist for why they're singled out. I hope everyone can understand that a person can have a relationship with 10 others and only abuse one person. That doesn’t mean they’re not an abuser or that it’s the victim's fault. A person can choose to just bully one person in their lifetime. That doesn’t mean the person isn’t a bully or that there’s something about the victim that warranted the bullying. The narcissist is responsible for their actions, it doesn’t matter if it’s to one person or a hundred. All JMO.

cheriee wrote:@Astrobach IMO Barb displays every significant attribute of a narcissistic abuser. None of her actions will make sense if you don't understand that. Narcissists often appear to "like" people, in as much as it's helpful to them getting what they want and maintaining control. When Madi became a threat to what Barb wanted (Peter to get engaged to HA and for her ego to be validated) she went on the attack. Narcissists view their children as simply objects to get them what they want (please note how Peter's own feelings were always viewed as secondary). Barb's love is conditional, if you want to see a pattern there's a significant one. Madi (who was different from anyone he'd ever dated) was likely one of the first times Peter truly went against what his Mother wanted, and IMO Barb made sure Peter and Madi were punished for it.

And can I also say that it is a dangerous mentality to blame the victims of a narcissist for why they're singled out. I hope everyone can understand that a person can have a relationship with 10 others and only abuse one person. That doesn’t mean they’re not an abuser or that it’s the victim's fault. A person can choose to just bully one person in their lifetime. That doesn’t mean the person isn’t a bully or that there’s something about the victim that warranted the bullying. The narcissist is responsible for their actions, it doesn’t matter if it’s to one person or a hundred. All JMO.

@cheriee

So well stated and I agree.

cheriee wrote:@Astrobach IMO Barb displays every significant attribute of a narcissistic abuser. None of her actions will make sense if you don't understand that. Narcissists often appear to "like" people, in as much as it's helpful to them getting what they want and maintaining control. When Madi became a threat to what Barb wanted (Peter to get engaged to HA and for her ego to be validated) she went on the attack. Narcissists view their children as simply objects to get them what they want (please note how Peter's own feelings were always viewed as secondary). Barb's love is conditional, if you want to see a pattern there's a significant one. Madi (who was different from anyone he'd ever dated) was likely one of the first times Peter truly went against what his Mother wanted, and IMO Barb made sure Peter and Madi were punished for it.

And can I also say that it is a dangerous mentality to blame the victims of a narcissist for why they're singled out. I hope everyone can understand that a person can have a relationship with 10 others and only abuse one person. That doesn’t mean they’re not an abuser or that it’s the victim's fault. A person can choose to just bully one person in their lifetime. That doesn’t mean the person isn’t a bully or that there’s something about the victim that warranted the bullying. The narcissist is responsible for their actions, it doesn’t matter if it’s to one person or a hundred. All JMO.

The shame is that Barbara can use the Cuban culture to encourage her kids to remain at home under her thumb. I mentioned this before, but Barbara said the four of them were like "one", which made my skin crawl. Financially, especially in LA, it makes all the sense in the world to live at home if you're rarely there, but if anybody's kids need to move out, it's Barb Weber's. I will always have a soft spot for Peter. Maybe it's because I'm so used to emotionally closed off men that I feel for a guy who wears his heart on his sleeve as Peter does. All I want for him is for this experience to get him to start reexamining his life and how he's going about relationships. As adults, we're all responsible for our actions, but when you literally are shown what shaped a person, it's impossible for me not to feel some empathy. I certainly never expected Dean to make the strides he has, but he put in the work with the help of a therapist.