Bachelor 24 - Peter Weber - General Discussion - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

With respect to Barb and Peter Weber, we may never see again such an apt, public, example of a mother/adult child relationship that trips these red flags (need for therapy!) with regard to lack of boundaries.  Lots of good points made in these threads. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/unhealthy-boundaries-with-mom_n_5b3bb8a8e4b07b827cbb887f. I thought this Huff Post piece made good points. Does Peter read here, LOL? He could make some notes in this diary searching his soul in response to these. Hmm, Peter, can you think of a time when ... ??

Your job as a mother is to raise your children up to live apart from you. Sort of sucks (my 24 year old sleeps upstairs today, and occasionally!) but seriously, she checks every box. And his over-sensitivity to highly emotional women, "addiction" to physical intimacy, etc. now looks like a cry for help!

I'd rather look away! The whole thing is sad. And so explanatory. Kudos to Bach production for revealing in Episode 2 what we were all blind to with that "date" that was all about Barb. It's crazy. I respect the storytelling, their psychologists must have seen it coming.

I grew up in a deeply dysfunctional family where love was withdrawn as a means of control. Even though I lived on my own after my teen years, the control was exerted and my entire sense of self was wrapped in the approval of the parent. The light began to dawn in my 30s but full realization wasn’t until my 40s. That was despite having been on my own and raising a family. I wish now that I’d gone into therapy early on, but I didn’t know what I didn’t know.

My point is that Barb has entangled her family in a web of dysfunction where nothing feels ok if they don’t have her approval which equals love. And her approval is all dependent on if her ego is being gratified. She is totally self-serving and narcissistic. I feel for the boys and anyone who gets involved.

Astrobach wrote:@dee Hummmm, not so sure about that. I don’t see him gaining after the major disaster of the ending. There is always an upward curve before the ending but only those that are REALLY liked are still followed, and there are a lot of media and press people who are done with him now that it’s over. IMO, he will slowly lose followers for all the stuff going on and HOW it ended, not only with NO fiancée, or s/o but a lot of Madi’s and HA fans will drop him.
There are the ‘ curious followers ’ who just follow to see who make comments, see stories and try to get BTS info. Plus if any more rumors of hooking up perdure, I don’t see him shining like that for long. I could be wrong but he is nowhere near the kind of momentum that Tyler had and kept despite some curves here and there.
JMO

I was one of the curious followers. Followed for about 2 weeks and as soon as the breakup post was posted, I unfollowed.

As for his data, there is a poster on reddit that is deep into tracking the IG follows of ALL BN contestants. She works with data on a daily basis in her job and loves what she does so much, continued on with BN. She now has an IG account @bachelordata where she posts snippets. And, she has now set up a website with her data!

Peter's stats per her website https://www.bachelornationdata.com/home

5/8/19 - 585
8/19/19 - 1,107,826
11/22/19 - 1,283,337
3/13/20 - 2,168,845

She pulls data on a daily basis automatically so the data for how their growth happens is there.

Top 5 contestants of all seasons, all in the 2 million + club:

Hannah Brown - 2,676,018
JoJo Fletcher - 2,255,829
Tyler Cameron - 2,198,222
Peter Weber - 2,172,847
Colton Underwood - 2,009,896

And sitting at 6th ----- Madison Prewett with 1,890,437

The rest of the top 10:
Kaitlyn Bristowe - 1,803,402
Cassie Randolph - 1,720,152
Hnnah Godwin - 1,581,839
Caelynn Miller-Keyes - 1,518,205

Hannah Ann is sitting in 16th with 1,330,674.

@HavaDrPepper  can the part about Madison be placed on her page?  Nice info for her followers and I do not know how to do that and attaching the source.

Lucas15 wrote: Ah - the elephant in the room. Watching Peter and Madison and Peter and Hannah Ann I felt Peter was much more into Madison than he was into Hannah Ann, and I also felt Hannah Ann was just a little bit "too perfect" in what she was saying - it always seemed to me to be her saying what she believed people wanted to hear to portray herself as the ideal F1 whereas Madison seemed more authentic (maybe too honest) with her answers. Peter always seemed to me to be begging Madison to stay the course until he could get to the end and pick her. Until that changed.

To me that "until" moment when things changed was when Peter sat down with his family to get their feedback on the two girls that they had just met on the MTP dates. IMO he was gutted that they didn't like Madison and Barb's diatribe over Hannah Ann "she's an angel sent from heaven" and "don't let her go - bring her home to us" and flood of (probably fake) tears. Peter knew then what we would only come to realize as we watched the ATFR - that his family would never accept Madison because his mother didn't like her and his mother rules the family. Yes - Peter and Madison didn't align on many things but IMO those differences were reconcilable between them - but what could never be reconciled was Barb's dislike of Madison and the way his mother rules the family. The next time Peter and Madison talked in depth about their relationship was the late portion of their LCD. IMO there's a lot we didn't see of that but what we did see was Peter accepting that Madison would leave and he stopped trying to change her mind. IMO it's likely he never told Madi just how badly the MTP date had turned out and how much his mother didn't like Madison - Madi only learned this on the ATFR with Barb's toxic performance there.
JMHO

I feel the same as you @Lucas15. And it’s extremely clear to me that Peter felt the strongest about Madison and was gutted when his Mother didn’t approve. He seemed to actually for the first time push against what his Mother wanted when she was ranting against Madi, he told them they didn’t understand how much she meant to him. Knowing just how toxic his family is, this was a sign of how strongly he did feel for her (even him considering reconciling with Madi knowing his Mother’s feelings says something). Remember Peter even said in the ITM after Madi’s MTP that even if his parents didn’t understand all that matters is that he did and he would be the one spending a lifetime with her. He also said “I can’t help that I want Madi more than anything”. Even when they were breaking up he said that he knew that there were obstacles but he still would’ve done anything he could to be with her. I think you’re right that Peter didn’t ever tell Madi just how angry Barb was and I don’t think Madi ever knew just how toxic the Weber family was, that would only come out in the finale.

@BlueTone was spot on about how Barb has created a family dynamic where nothing feels okay if you don’t have her approval which equals love. And that her approval depends of her narcissistic need to have her ego gratified. At the different MTP you could see the contrast. Hannah Ann told Barb (by no coincidence IMO) exactly what she wanted to hear and flattered Barb’s ego. In contrast, when Madi honestly told Barb that she viewed her and Peter as equals in this process and essentially said that she wouldn’t be subservient to just his and Barb’s needs, Barb’s narcissistic tendencies went on attack mode. In Barb’s world, Madi not putting Peter and his Mother on a pedestal was a clear sign that she couldn’t be controlled. And that was never going to be acceptable in the Weber family where above all, Barb’s needs must come first (this was further revealed with Barb holding onto months later that Peter and Madi were late to the MTP. This had nothing to do with actually caring about them being late, Barb’s real issue was that she wasn’t the priority IMO… ironic considering the show was meant to be about Peter finding love).

I do hope Peter will get the help he needs and seek proper therapy, I just think he appears right now to still unfortunately be years away from that. Many things were exposed but sadly it’s all too often that abusive behavior gets swept under the rug and everyone tries to move on to pretend it’s all okay. The unhealed wounds remain though. All JMO.

River57 wrote:@HavaDrPepper  can the part about Madison be placed on her page?  Nice info for her followers and I do not know how to do that and attaching the source.

Madi is at 1.9 million and she has barely posted anything!

atem wrote:

River57 wrote:@HavaDrPepper  can the part about Madison be placed on her page?  Nice info for her followers and I do not know how to do that and attaching the source.

Madi is at 1.9 million and she has barely posted anything!

I will venture out there and make a prediction.... that within the next 3 months Madi will not only have reached 2 million + BUT she will pass Peter, who will consistently drop IMO. Let’s see.

As it turns out, it may be good thing Peter has no home of his own. Now, he actually has his specialty - an excuse! Delta has announced a 40% reduction in flights so, given Peter’s age, we know he’s not very senior and maybe he and his little brother can stay home with mom while dad goes to work and the parent/child dysfunction can get another boost like it got Tuesday night. Yaaay.

Chgohighlife wrote:As it turns out, it may be good thing Peter has no home of his own. Now, he actually has his specialty - an excuse! Delta has announced a 40% reduction in flights so, given Peter’s age, we know he’s not very senior and maybe he and his little brother can stay home with mom while dad goes to work and the parent/child dysfunction can get another boost like it got Tuesday night. Yaaay.

He said in that TMZ interview that he is flying Sunday. I assume he means working. jmo

Lordy that IG video Barb posted. She and Mamma Murray should become friends. Totally reminds me how she acted the whole time Andi and Josh were together/engaged. If Peter and Madison did stay together for awhile I could see the same thing happening- spending more time with her family then his until the holidays roll around. Barb is going to do this with every gf he has from here on out. Wonder how she is with Peter's brother's gf?

Linds911 wrote:Lordy that IG video Barb posted. She and Mamma Murray should become friends. Totally reminds me how she acted the whole time Andi and Josh were together/engaged. If Peter and Madison did stay together for awhile I could see the same thing happening- spending more time with her family then his until the holidays roll around. Barb is going to do this with every gf he has from here on out. Wonder how she is with Peter's brother's gf?

I posted yesterday that Peter's brothers GF is not his wife yet. A GF and a wife are two completely different things. Now that Jac's GF witnessed this side of Barb, im sure it will stick in back of her mind. I also said Barb is in for a rude awaking once these boys have wives and the wives mothers kind of come first to them. Oh Boy ! jmo

Linds911 wrote:Lordy that IG video Barb posted. She and Mamma Murray should become friends. Totally reminds me how she acted the whole time Andi and Josh were together/engaged. If Peter and Madison did stay together for awhile I could see the same thing happening- spending more time with her family then his until the holidays roll around. Barb is going to do this with every gf he has from here on out. Wonder how she is with Peter's brother's gf?

Not necessarily the Barb loves HA and Kelly. It’s not every girl she dislikes.