Bachelor 23 - Cassie Randolph - **Sleuthing Spoilers**

avacaroline wrote:I think the varied reaction to Cassie and her family on this board and on social media is indicative of just how difficult it can be to understand someone with different religious and moral values than your own. As a Christian, none of this seems out of the ordinary, weird, abusive, over-controlling, repressive, etc.... to me.  It’ is biblical to honor your father and mother... even as an adult.  Not “obey” but honor. The fact that she listened to their concerns and took them to heart was exactly what her faith asks of her.  It is biblical to show discernment, to seek God in everything, and to wait for Him to show you His will.  Clearly, Cassie wasn’t sure what God had for her at that moment. She needed to step back and search her heart and listen for God’s voice in it all.  Non Christians might not understand it, might not agree with it, might not like it.....but it’s who she is and it’s what she and her family believe in. She wasn’t ready in that moment and so she pumped the breaks and did what was best for her.  It seems like they reconciled so, in the end, she did things on her own terms and the way in which she was comfortable. To me, that’s incredibly admirable and shows a great deal of maturity in her faith. Just because someone has religious values doesn’t mean that they are weak or wrong or immature.  

And the argument that she shouldn’t have gone on a reality show that expects to end in an engagement if she wasn’t sure she would be ready.... IMO is ridiculous.  I longed to be married for several years before I met and was actually ready to marry my husband. Being READY to get married and actually finding the person that you are ready to say YES to, are completely different things.  

It’s intersting to me that the same people that show distaste for Cassie and her family’s conservative values, are the same ones that are livid that she didn’t mindlessly follow along with the formula of a reality tv show.  In my opinion, it takes a much stronger woman to say no and recognize that you aren’t ready than to say yes because that’s what you’re “supposed” to do.

Go Cassie!

ETA:  all of my statements about Cassie and her family’s beliefs are my opinions based on what I have seen and heard them say on YO, The Bachelor, and social media.

lavenderfan wrote:So it seems like Cassie has been with Colton this whole week or for a chunk of this week. Michelle and Caelynn have been hanging out with each other, but no cassie. Yesterday Michelle went to dinner with her parents and Caelynn but no cassie.

YOU GUYS. 3 MORE DAYS UNTIL we start seeing cute lovey dovey IG posts from Colton and Cassie. I can already sense Colton's excitement with his social media posts.

Billysmom wrote:Tbh I wasn't clear about whether cassie wanted Colton to be annoyed at her dad, or whether cassie was upset that Colton wasn't yielding to the impediment that was her dad's inability to give his blessing.  I found her communication skills in that moment sorely lacking, though I cut her slack as that was a tough conversation to have even in real life much more so in Bach life....especially with Colton shaking like a leaf, poor thing. I think time would be their best ally in honing their (her) communication...I hope Colton allows for that time before marriage, in spite of the intensity of their chemistry. Jmo

avacaroline wrote:I think the varied reaction to Cassie and her family on this board and on social media is indicative of just how difficult it can be to understand someone with different religious and moral values than your own. As a Christian, none of this seems out of the ordinary, weird, abusive, over-controlling, repressive, etc.... to me.  It’ is biblical to honor your father and mother... even as an adult.  Not “obey” but honor. The fact that she listened to their concerns and took them to heart was exactly what her faith asks of her.  It is biblical to show discernment, to seek God in everything, and to wait for Him to show you His will.  Clearly, Cassie wasn’t sure what God had for her at that moment. She needed to step back and search her heart and listen for God’s voice in it all.  Non Christians might not understand it, might not agree with it, might not like it.....but it’s who she is and it’s what she and her family believe in. She wasn’t ready in that moment and so she pumped the breaks and did what was best for her.  It seems like they reconciled so, in the end, she did things on her own terms and the way in which she was comfortable. To me, that’s incredibly admirable and shows a great deal of maturity in her faith. Just because someone has religious values doesn’t mean that they are weak or wrong or immature.  

And the argument that she shouldn’t have gone on a reality show that expects to end in an engagement if she wasn’t sure she would be ready.... IMO is ridiculous.  I longed to be married for several years before I met and was actually ready to marry my husband. Being READY to get married and actually finding the person that you are ready to say YES to, are completely different things.  

It’s intersting to me that the same people that show distaste for Cassie and her family’s conservative values, are the same ones that are livid that she didn’t mindlessly follow along with the formula of a reality tv show.  In my opinion, it takes a much stronger woman to say no and recognize that you aren’t ready than to say yes because that’s what you’re “supposed” to do.

Go Cassie!

ETA:  all of my statements about Cassie and her family’s beliefs are my opinions based on what I have seen and heard them say on YO, The Bachelor, and social media.

GuardianAngel wrote:

Norcalgal wrote:

Maddy wrote:

Sharleen wrote:

First of all, it is clear she has not held herself to the standards taught growing up. This is a wonderful growth in a person, however, she most likely feels guilt for stepping away from those high moral standards. Additionally, since she is only 23 years old and still finding herself, she is still learning what her personal convictions and beliefs are, and therefore, is unsure what her non-negotiables are when looking for a life partner. To me, it seems clear there was a non-negotiable that came up in her relationship with Colton and she felt torn whether that should in fact affect the relationship or she should re-think her initial standard. And I feel her saying she “didn’t know” to Colton was more she didn’t know what her standards should be.

I love what Sharleen says about Cassie and feel it applies to so many young women.

IA as well. She makes sense in every sentence especially about marrying someone who you're "suppose" to marry rather than someone you want to marry, speaking from experience. Is Cassie saying if her father didn't give his blessing's then no way does she even want to date him?

I still cannot come up with any explanation as to why it was important for Cassie to be annoyed, or whatever she was feeling, that Colton wasn't angrier than he was. If Colton was livid and thrashing things around would that have made her feel better? That's really out there in my world to want someone to be really p*ssed for "ME". Not only did Cassie come off script, so did Colton, making sure he let her know, the fact that her Dad didn't give his blessing's, doesn't change how he feels, nor does he expect an engagement. No other lead that I can recall revealed his feelings like Colton did. Also, I'm not a fan of "I'm not there yet, I don't know if I can get there". She leaves, and he doesn't give up.  IMHO that's a horrible selfish thing to say to someone who is pouring out their heart. She could have been honest, to me she wasn't, because everything he was offering was not helping. I think there were some underlying reason's that we aren't aware of. Is Colton going to always wonder now if she's certain or not? To me there are hints of wanting the chase. Wanting Colton to be more angry, offering no pressure in engagement didn't even fizz on her, Colton being realistic, Cassie wishing he finds the one who loves him, that's something the contestants say to the lead when they are let go. Nothing changed her mind, she wanted to go.

You can honour your parents, and not take their advice. IMHO there's nothing wrong with that. Her father simply said if you're not feeling it don't let it go on too long. I would have said the same thing. Even after Colton took the engagement off the table, she still didn't know. She said that several times. She doesn't like him enough to stay?because that's what it looked like to me. You either like someone on a first date or you don't. How could she not know how she feels.

She just seemed very immature to me during the break up, without any real explanation that made any sense to me.

jojo47 wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:

Norcalgal wrote:

Maddy wrote:

Sharleen wrote:

First of all, it is clear she has not held herself to the standards taught growing up. This is a wonderful growth in a person, however, she most likely feels guilt for stepping away from those high moral standards. Additionally, since she is only 23 years old and still finding herself, she is still learning what her personal convictions and beliefs are, and therefore, is unsure what her non-negotiables are when looking for a life partner. To me, it seems clear there was a non-negotiable that came up in her relationship with Colton and she felt torn whether that should in fact affect the relationship or she should re-think her initial standard. And I feel her saying she “didn’t know” to Colton was more she didn’t know what her standards should be.

I love what Sharleen says about Cassie and feel it applies to so many young women.

IA as well. She makes sense in every sentence especially about marrying someone who you're "suppose" to marry rather than someone you want to marry, speaking from experience. Is Cassie saying if her father didn't give his blessing's then no way does she even want to date him?

I still cannot come up with any explanation as to why it was important for Cassie to be annoyed, or whatever she was feeling, that Colton wasn't angrier than he was. If Colton was livid and thrashing things around would that have made her feel better? That's really out there in my world to want someone to be really p*ssed for "ME". Not only did Cassie come off script, so did Colton, making sure he let her know, the fact that her Dad didn't give his blessing's, doesn't change how he feels, nor does he expect an engagement. No other lead that I can recall revealed his feelings like Colton did. Also, I'm not a fan of "I'm not there yet, I don't know if I can get there". She leaves, and he doesn't give up.  IMHO that's a horrible selfish thing to say to someone who is pouring out their heart. She could have been honest, to me she wasn't, because everything he was offering was not helping. I think there were some underlying reason's that we aren't aware of. Is Colton going to always wonder now if she's certain or not? To me there are hints of wanting the chase. Wanting Colton to be more angry, offering no pressure in engagement didn't even fizz on her, Colton being realistic, Cassie wishing he finds the one who loves him, that's something the contestants say to the lead when they are let go. Nothing changed her mind, she wanted to go.

You can honour your parents, and not take their advice. IMHO there's nothing wrong with that. Her father simply said if you're not feeling it don't let it go on too long. I would have said the same thing. Even after Colton took the engagement off the table, she still didn't know. She said that several times. She doesn't like him enough to stay?because that's what it looked like to me. You either like someone on a first date or you don't. How could she not know how she feels.

She just seemed very immature to me during the break up, without any real explanation that made any sense to me.

I thought Sharleen had some solid & insightful thoughts on how this date/conversation went down. I like Cassie, but it’s really hard not to argue a lot of what Sharleen says.

She also gives the goods on the production side of the show that are telling. I like that she published the notion that Harrison’s segment of the fence jump was likely filmed after the fact. And how CH is actually barely around.