Bachelor 23 - Cassie Randolph - **Sleuthing Spoilers**

Really interesting discussions here for the last few pages.
I’d like to have Matt in the hot seat on Tuesday. I want to know if he has learnt something from watching his daughter suffer the consequences of his bad advice, both on TV and in SM.

I'd like to ask Matt what he thinks about people making him the star of the show.

cassie + colton @cassieandcolton
#TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/lN12XpQR1E
cassie + colton @cassieandcolton
Part 1 of @colton and @CassieRandolph's Overnight Date. "I want to be in love with Cassie"

Part 2 of @colton and @CassieRandolph's Overnight Date. "[Cassie] has a goofy, fun, playful side of her, and then she still has this sexy, edgy, confident side to her as well"

Part 3 of @colton and @CassieRandolph's Overnight Date. "Colton is a pretty easy guy to really love"

cassie + colton @cassieandcolton
Part 4 of @colton and @CassieRandolph's Overnight Date. "I love Cassie. Point blank" #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/iBJbba5s0d

cassie + colton @cassieandcolton Mar 7
Part 5 of @colton and @CassieRandolph's Overnight Date. "[Colton] is one of the most genuine and honest people that I know" #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/snIA8CwRPB
https://mobile.twitter.com/cassieandcolton

cassie + colton @cassieandcolton
Part 6 of @colton and @CassieRandolph's Overnight Date. "I did ask [your Dad] for a blessing at the end of this if we get there, for an engagement, and I didn't get his approval" #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/038I9SZRTE

cassie + colton @cassieandcolton
Part 7 of @colton and @CassieRandolph's Overnight Date. "By [your Dad] telling me that I don't have his blessing, it does not discourage me at all in this. And it will not change the way I continue to feel about you" #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/3UKrGi9o4P

cassie + colton @cassieandcolton
Part 8 of @colton and @CassieRandolph's Overnight Date. "It is really important that my Dad approves or gives his blessing. I did not think he wouldn't" #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/obiPzdxVE4
cassie + colton @cassieandcolton
Part 9 of @colton and @CassieRandolph's Overnight Date. "When I saw Cassie at our house last week, I can't say I was convinced that she was in love" #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/YqMjrwL0rD

cassie + colton @cassieandcolton
Part 10 of @colton and @CassieRandolph's Overnight Date. "I don't want it to be over with [Colton], but then it scares me getting to the end and accepting a proposal. That's huge." #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/phtu9ZWsIf

cassie + colton @cassieandcolton
Part 11 of @colton and @CassieRandolph's Overnight Date. "If you're not feeling it, the longer you let it go on is not doing you any service, not doing him any service" #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/t6hhmtE8LS
https://mobile.twitter.com/cassieandcolton

cassie + colton @cassieandcolton
Happy #InternationalWomensDay to these kind, sweet, incredible, strong, loving women. Thank you for sharing your stories, for continually lifting each other and others up, and for knowing your strength and worth @CassieRandolph @michellerando @caelynnmk pic.twitter.com/zhq4gUzslH

I think the varied reaction to Cassie and her family on this board and on social media is indicative of just how difficult it can be to understand someone with different religious and moral values than your own. As a Christian, none of this seems out of the ordinary, weird, abusive, over-controlling, repressive, etc.... to me.  It’ is biblical to honor your father and mother... even as an adult.  Not “obey” but honor. The fact that she listened to their concerns and took them to heart was exactly what her faith asks of her.  It is biblical to show discernment, to seek God in everything, and to wait for Him to show you His will.  Clearly, Cassie wasn’t sure what God had for her at that moment. She needed to step back and search her heart and listen for God’s voice in it all.  Non Christians might not understand it, might not agree with it, might not like it.....but it’s who she is and it’s what she and her family believe in. She wasn’t ready in that moment and so she pumped the breaks and did what was best for her.  It seems like they reconciled so, in the end, she did things on her own terms and the way in which she was comfortable. To me, that’s incredibly admirable and shows a great deal of maturity in her faith. Just because someone has religious values doesn’t mean that they are weak or wrong or immature.  

And the argument that she shouldn’t have gone on a reality show that expects to end in an engagement if she wasn’t sure she would be ready.... IMO is ridiculous.  I longed to be married for several years before I met and was actually ready to marry my husband. Being READY to get married and actually finding the person that you are ready to say YES to, are completely different things.  

It’s intersting to me that the same people that show distaste for Cassie and her family’s conservative values, are the same ones that are livid that she didn’t mindlessly follow along with the formula of a reality tv show.  In my opinion, it takes a much stronger woman to say no and recognize that you aren’t ready than to say yes because that’s what you’re “supposed” to do.

Go Cassie!

ETA: all of my statements about Cassie and her family’s beliefs are my opinions based on what I have seen and heard them say on YO, The Bachelor, and social media.

I think I have strong opinions here because we recently sent our firstborn off to college, thinking she was well-prepared for the challenges of a social life on her own. In a few short months she found herself in over her head, and suckered into doing things she now regrets greatly, but which at the time seemed ok because "everyone does it." She sees now the wisdom of the principles in which she was raised, and wishes we had been around to help her stay strong in the face of outside pressures. We are grateful that she is able to bounce back from the situation she got herself into....but we recognize that situation might well have ended up far far worse. We are hoping what she has learned has made enough of an impression to stick with her when she faces similar pressures down the road. But if someone could have brought me to her on the eve of those turning-point moments, I'd have been there in a flash....a parent never stops making their child's welfare a top priority. I'm not an evangelical Christian, but I am finding myself questioning if the emphasis in our current world on freedom/choice/self-expression has possibly created a generation with no guiding principles.... Our phones have better gps than our children sometimes...jmo

I think this all turned out the way it was supposed to. I'm not convinced cassie and Colton will end up married, but we have finally seen more depth out of these two than simply their great physical chemistry. My personal opinion is that they each still need some time to grow into their best selves; it remains to be seen whether there is enough breathing room in their relationship to allow that to happen. I'm frankly pretty amazed that the pretty girl who to me originally came off a tad ditzy, jmo, has shown more backbone than many other seemingly stronger F1s. I'm hoping she will continue to surprise- in a good way- during the final episodes, because yes, I do believe Colton is a really solid guy. All jmo

Every season there are controversial events, cast members, parents not liked. The social media backlash against Cassie and her dad will calm down Tuesday after Colton and Cassie’s reunion. People will move on and accept the reality of what IS, not what happened 6 months ago.

Cocoasneeze wrote:@Billysmom

I definitely think that's a factor. I also think, that her father's sudden visit brought up that inner turmoil the person who wrote to Sharleen from their conservative background viewpoint, to the front very strongly. Jmo.

For myself, having grown up in a conservative Catholic family, if my father flew to another continent, knocked on my hotel door right before I was to have a overnight date with a guy, it would have freaked the heck out of me! Especially if she was saying she's not in love with him yet. I have no doubt Matt and the producers swayed her decision. Interesting perspective from Anna in Sharleen's recap, about Cassie's standards and living up to them, what she said I believe has merit. This takes me back to the conversation Cassie and Colton had on their first 1-1 date, about how he deals with the "virginity" and the relationship being so public, and her concern was people judging her for not being a virgin. I always thought it was an odd conversation to have be left in there but now it makes a little more sense.

CH says we see all the nitty gritty, warts and all, I really hope they show how all this transpired.

alwayscooking wrote: This takes me back to the conversation Cassie and Colton had on their first 1-1 date, about how he deals with the "virginity" and the relationship being so public, and her concern was people judging her for not being a virgin.  I always thought it was an odd conversation to have be left in there but now it makes a little more sense.

I wonder if Cassie's parents knew she was not a virgin before the show aired?

Norcalgal wrote:

alwayscooking wrote: This takes me back to the conversation Cassie and Colton had on their first 1-1 date, about how he deals with the "virginity" and the relationship being so public, and her concern was people judging her for not being a virgin.  I always thought it was an odd conversation to have be left in there but now it makes a little more sense.

I wonder if Cassie's parents knew she was not a virgin before the show aired?

I don't know but the cat's outta the bag now, Do you remember that conversations they had on their 1-1? Did you or anyone find it odd?

Norcalgal wrote:

Maddy wrote:

Sharleen wrote:

First of all, it is clear she has not held herself to the standards taught growing up. This is a wonderful growth in a person, however, she most likely feels guilt for stepping away from those high moral standards. Additionally, since she is only 23 years old and still finding herself, she is still learning what her personal convictions and beliefs are, and therefore, is unsure what her non-negotiables are when looking for a life partner. To me, it seems clear there was a non-negotiable that came up in her relationship with Colton and she felt torn whether that should in fact affect the relationship or she should re-think her initial standard. And I feel her saying she “didn’t know” to Colton was more she didn’t know what her standards should be.

I love what Sharleen says about Cassie and feel it applies to so many young women.

IA as well. She makes sense in every sentence especially about marrying someone who you're "suppose" to marry rather than someone you want to marry, speaking from experience. Is Cassie saying if her father didn't give his blessing's then no way does she even want to date him?

I still cannot come up with any explanation as to why it was important for Cassie to be annoyed, or whatever she was feeling, that Colton wasn't angrier than he was. If Colton was livid and thrashing things around would that have made her feel better? That's really out there in my world to want someone to be really p*ssed for "ME". Not only did Cassie come off script, so did Colton, making sure he let her know, the fact that her Dad didn't give his blessing's, doesn't change how he feels, nor does he expect an engagement. No other lead that I can recall revealed his feelings like Colton did. Also, I'm not a fan of "I'm not there yet, I don't know if I can get there". She leaves, and he doesn't give up.  IMHO that's a horrible selfish thing to say to someone who is pouring out their heart. She could have been honest, to me she wasn't, because everything he was offering was not helping. I think there were some underlying reason's that we aren't aware of. Is Colton going to always wonder now if she's certain or not? To me there are hints of wanting the chase. Wanting Colton to be more angry, offering no pressure in engagement didn't even fizz on her, Colton being realistic, Cassie wishing he finds the one who loves him, that's something the contestants say to the lead when they are let go. Nothing changed her mind, she wanted to go.

You can honour your parents, and not take their advice. IMHO there's nothing wrong with that. Her father simply said if you're not feeling it don't let it go on too long. I would have said the same thing. Even after Colton took the engagement off the table, she still didn't know. She said that several times. She doesn't like him enough to stay?because that's what it looked like to me. You either like someone on a first date or you don't. How could she not know how she feels.

She just seemed very immature to me during the break up, without any real explanation that made any sense to me.