BACHELOR 23 - Colton Underwood - General Discussion - **NO SPOILERS** - *SLEUTHING*

Back to the evening portion of the date. He had so much fun today...except 5 minutes earlier he said he wasn't.

He pulls Taysha aside and of course it is just so hard for her. She is scared because she has been burned before when she opened up. As usual, he sees where she is coming from because he has been through something similar. I hate when he continuously says that!!! Naturally they make out. I just don't see it. Zip.

Demi giving more of her 23 year old words of wisdom.

Katie is not thrilled. When she is talking with Colton...it is HARD!!! These women are so annoying. He is annoying. This whole bloody show is so annoying this season. It's not even fun in a snarky way how it is normally. He says some kind of drivel to pump her up and make her feel as if they have some kind of relationship. When she comes away from his hypnotic drivel, she comes back to reality and sounds as if she is getting ready to dump him before he dumps her.

We are back and pageant Hannah is up. They are giggling like a couple of teenagers.

Others are contemplating that group date rose while watching Hannah showing Colton the moves she learned that day. Sydney is also losing hope and today was HARD for her too. She is confronting him as to why she has still not gotten a date. Of course he sees where she is coming from.

Demi next. She is not a fighter. She is soft and sensitive... And naturally she must call her jailbird mom who is finally out of prison.

Ok. I am at work and missed part of this. Sydney dumps him and is going home.

She is disappointed, blah, blah, blah. She thinks there are some great people there and some not so great. Shocking!

The others are shocked and yet no doubt full of glee.

Colton tells the others what she told him. Thinks he can give so much more to the rest of them...Taysha gets the rose. I just don't see it.

Shockingly, tonight was HARD for him. Suck it up wuss!!!!

Demi and pageant Hannah considering the relationship Colton has with Kirpa. They are smirking, saying she might not be coming back....fingers crossed.

Kirpa worries that her relationship with Colton is in the same boat as was Sydney's.

Colton is spending this date with Kirpa discussing Sydney. He says he is enjoying this date and is really attracted to her...and yet, they are not making out....so he is not enjoying it that much. They need to push their relationship tonight to see where it could go. My answer...nowhere.

I missed the second half of the show. We had a situation at work that we had to deal with, so I am finally catching up at home.

Tysha getting a lot of screen time tonight. She is chatting with Heather about Kirpa...both not sure she will be coming back.

Colton giving Kirpa the kiss of death...slow relationship development, behind others, blah, blah, blah. Pretending like there is a chance in hell that they will ever get there. Stop wasting everyone's time and just kick her to the curb! Meanwhile, she could not look any more bored.

Colton brings out her inner thrill seeker??? Seriously? He avoids thrills like the plague. He is the wimpiest bachelor ever!!! :babies: I really don't know what planet these people are on.

She was engaged and they had been together for 8 years. The ex was also saving himself for marriage. OMG...another talk about Colton's VIRGINITY...because you know we haven't heard enough about it and how it's not on religious grounds, he is just saving himself for the right person. :shootme:

Kirpa tells him about how she and the ex got too comfortable and they ended it. She doesn't want to get engaged again unless she is sure it will work. Naturally he gives her a rose...as if they will ever get engaged. Cursory make outs. So boring. These two have the excitement level of

As an aside, to prove just how bored I am by this date...I am staring at Kirpa's exposed shoulders and wondering if she has glitter all over them (think sparkling vampires from Twilght) or if she is just sweaty?

OMG...just kill me...they are walking back in the rain, under an umbrella and just randomly stop, drop the umbrella and start making out in the street. Cause we all do that!!!

Back at the hotel, Corrine Demi is primping and plotting how best to seduce the virgin. She clearly watched Nick's season or tptb prompted her. No, it couldn't be. I'm sure she came up with this all on her own.

Shocking everyone, Kirpa returns with the rose. Meanwhile, Demi miraculously strolls in the rain and thunder to Colton's digs...all without get wet. She is truly a magical unicorn who wants to go balls to the wall. Yup. Magical and truly eloquent.

I'm sure Colton was not expecting this visit from Corinne's mini me. Could this show be any more predictable?

She is falling for him and is serious about a life with him. SURE. He pours the conveniently ready bubbly. I'm sure he was just going to pour himself a glass before bed.

Demi pretends as if she cares that he had a hard night last night and just wanted to check up on him. She is going on about these supposed wonderful "moments" they had and it's all Dolton can do to keep a straight face. Even he isn't that stupid. His mouth is twitching like crazy. He knows what is about to go down and the anticipation is killing him.

Demi feels sooooooo confident about what is going on between them that she can now tell him she is falling in love with him. She is a terrible actress. She wants time to enjoy each other. He unfortunately doesn't. If he did, he would be all over her to make out. Instead, he appreciates her sharing and by the blank look on her face, she finally clues in to the fact that she was just a producer puppet and Colton isn't really into her. He tells her he thinks about her a lot...like WTH will producers let him get rid of her?...but, he politely lies and says he doesn't think they can get "there"...where ever that is. He can't in good consciousness, after hearing her fake, heartfelt declaration, put her through a rose ceremony.

Demi desperately tries to squeeze out a fake tear, but since she can't manage it, she pretends as if it did and she had to wipe it away. Finally!!! She doesn't know what to say. She fake hugs him, while glancing at the camera to make sure her acting is all right and they have the required shot. More covering of her eyes as if there were any tears. She finally manages one solitary tear...she probably had to poke her eyes with her fingers during that hug to get that one. She glances at the camera, making sure they got that!!!

Naturally, Demi being Demi, can't just gracefully walk away. No, she has to throw some of the other ladies under the bus first. There may be girls here who seem like safe choices, but they won't be and you won't end up happy in the long run. While he appreciates her concern...he can't wait to walk her out! Colton gives her a hug like he cares and sends her off into the night.

In her ITM's Demi tries to pretend as if it hurt being let go. More covering her face acting like she is crying. She goes back to the hotel to tell the two Hannahs she is leaving. This is why she avoids relationships because nobody loves her back and she feels she isn't good enough...whaa, whaa, whaa. Maybe if you weren't such a smart a** b*tch. She pretends to leave only carrying a pitiful, tiny backpack as the sad music attempts to make me feel sorry for her. FAIL on all counts. I know she will be back in all her gleeful nastiness come BIP time. (Please have Corinne and her nanny on there to put her in place.)

Back to the ladies getting ready for the cocktail party and those without roses worrying about what is about to go down after Demi's shocking dismissal the previous evening.

Oh please. NOT AGAIN!!! More about Colton's biggest concern that the women won't be ready for an engagement. I don't know what I am more sick of...his virginity or his biggest concern. The edit is not subtle. Just beat me over the head with a hammer why don't you. Clearly the one he wants won't be ready. My money is on Cassie.

In comes CH to check with everyone. Please. We all know where this is headed. No cocktail party. Dolton has made his decision. Straight to the RC and it sucks for those of you who feel you need to talk to him. My money is on Katie since all of a sudden she has had air time and I finally learned her name.

FIR Hannah, Kirpa and Tysha already have roses.

Pageant Hannah
Caiylin
Cassie
Heather

Bye bye Katie.

He walks her out. She has a lot to say and knew that it wasn't there by his body language. They are talking at cross purposes. She feels he didn't give her time and he feels there was more to get out of her. Well, then why, if you were excited by her, didn't you give her more time? Liar, liar, pants on fire.

And naturally, she can't leave without hitting him where it hurts...and bashing us over the head with what seems to be coming....there are girls who are ready and some who aren't. Be smart. Please. You know he won't and there goes his freak out. This is the third person who told him the same thing...that producers told them to say so he will have precisely this reaction. Subtle they are not. When Sydney told him, he thought she was talking about Demi. When Demi told him he doesn't know who she was talking about and now he doesn't know who Katie is talking about. Shocker. Is he missing something??? First close up....Cassie. Again, subtlety is not their strong suit.

Colton comes back and tells the women that all three ladies that have left have warned him there are is a person or persons left who are not ready for this. Another long close up of Cassie. Jeeze Louise. Just make them stop. He will need answers next week. He is putting his foot down. So serious. So forceful. So manly....NOT! Tysha thinks that she and Kirpa will be the last two standing...implying that they are the only two who are ready....in front of the others...none of whom denies this. Which clearly means it won't be either of them...not that I ever thought it would be!

Next week...Colton's journey takes a shocking turn. He is confused, terrified, nervous and crying because he doesn't know what the future holds for him. All the ladies are shocked!!! He is headed into home towns and has no clue what he is about to do. More going off on his own to contemplate the sorry state of his life. Oh, the angst!

Cassie seems to be confronting Cailyn about ruining things for others. He is nervous of being some body's back up plan. All the ladies are crying. Colton is storming off again. CH is freaking out. The fence jumping again. Oh, please. Just jump the bloody thing and let's get it over with.

Cassie is in the car crying. Apparently, according to CH, up till now, nobody knew the truth. Colton has sacrificed everything to come on the show to find love.

Love is blind faith and taking a chance and taking a risk as we see Tysha sky diving. I wonder if Colton will join her. He's not exactly a risk taker. But, love is worth fighting for it. We see shots with Colton and the pageant girls...making out with Caiylnn. More shots with Tysha and then Colton saying "mom". It appears he s meeting up with his mom with pageant Hannah...HTD or just a date where he takes them home?

He wants to be in love the first time he has sex. :shootme:

Making out with Heather at a train station. Rolling around on the beach with Cassie (I think). FIR Hannah telling him she is falling in love with him and doing the monkey straddles. Tysha telling in her ITM she is in love with Colton, while he is telling Caiyln he is falling in love with her and seems to be giving her a rose.

Heading into FS and he is saying tonight he is mad about that person...while showing him rolling on a bed with pageant Hannah....which is clearly not the FS since there are two beds in the room, it is broad daylight and they are both wearing coats....so not her. More making out with pretty much everyone and him still harping on how when he loses his virginity it will be tender, passionate and he wants it to be the greatest thing she has ever felt!!! Someone has been reading too many Harlequin romance novels and watching too many Hallmark Christmas and Valentine movies...not to mention has an overinflated sense of his own sexual prowess...considering he has never done the deed.

When you share that part of yourself with someone there is no going back...said as he is staring at an empty ring box...at what appears to be the final rose ceremony. He has never loved somebody as much as he has loved her. He is excited, he is nervous, he is getting down on one knee and asking her to become his wife.

And we cap things off with more of Demi sharing things her mom sent her from prison. A purse with tiny dream catchers. Cards. High pitched giggles. Not funny. Painful to watch. Dumbest ending to an episode in my memory.

Well, based on this episode and the preview I will go out on a limb and say Cassie is the one he wants and she leaves. I doubt it is next week as they seem to imply, but at some point...maybe hometowns?

Cassie was MIA most of this episode, but that is expected after her date last week. This week it was FIR Hannah who got almost the same sexy descriptions as Cassie last week. Despite this, I thought it was forced and not as natural as Cassie...plus, he kept saying she reminds him of home, which (even though Becca said the same thing about Garrett last season) I don't think is as positive in this case.

Lots of Taysha this episode and not much of Cailyn. Plenty of pageant Hannah, but in a goofy way so she is toast. Heather was shown, but not so much with Colton, so she is out too since we can't really have the blind leading the blind.

So my prediction is F1 Cassie..but, if she leaves then FIR Hannah gets the slot since she is next up on his horny meter. Cailyn and Taysha follow them. I'm not as sure about their spots, although based on the amount of air time they are getting, at this point I would put Taysha as F3 and Caiyln as F4. I don't think he is into either of them. He clearly has a type and since neither of them is blonde...bye, bye, bye.

I'm thinking Cailyn is looking to be the next Bette since she is the only one who has a dramatic storyline all set up...kind of like what they had with Colton. If so, I am totally dreading that...even more so than I dreaded Colton's stupid virginity. I can already see some guy being cast who was also assaulted and some guy who assaulted someone and naturally the producers had no idea. Shades of Rachel and the racist whose name escapes me or that I blocked out.

I am so bored by Dolton, his boring band of teeny boppers, his virginity and his angst of being dumped, that I want to jump ship to the dark side, except I can't even muster the energy to care enough to do so.

@Sprite - great posts. You hit the nail on the head, as you always do.

@Sprite I agree with your recap.  Absence of Cassie in previews and her crying in a vehicle has me a bit confused??  She either leaves or it is creative editing hoping for us to be shocked that it is her in the end.

She is still my F1. They showed him next to Cassie alot on the group date and then he took her back to his room (again) during their 1on1 time - he didn't take anyone else there so at this point IMO she is still his one and only.  If she isn't F1 she must have the MOST DRAMATIC secret ever because Colton 'checked out' on the rest of the girls after their 1on1.  Even the other girls realize it - they are leaving in pairs!

I heard something about Cassie having a twin sister - - - possible they have been switching places during filming and Colton doesn't realize it

If Cassie goes, my pick would be Hannah (FIR) as she seems like a genuinely nice person.  Tayshia has a good head on her shoulders but I think she is slowly making her way to the friend/confidant zone.  I am wondering about Kirpa because they seemed to have a natural connection on their date and their conversation was comfortable.  This shocked me since up until then she was only know for the band-aid on her chin.  

The previews were loaded with the two pageant girls so pretty sure their time is limited.  Maybe they will go out at same time and Hannah Growling Bear won't have to be upset that Caelyn got 1st Runner Up.

I wish someone was here that would sleuth screen caps because I really want to know if it is Cassie in the toast when they mention FS (end of Ep 1).  I was sure it was her up until they started making me doubt things last night.

Sprite wrote:I am so bored by Dolton, his boring band of teeny boppers, his virginity and his angst of being dumped, that I want to jump ship to the dark side, except I can't even muster the energy to care enough to do so.

Thanks for sticking it out.  I thought the same thing last night but that would be playing right into TPTB plan that they have derailed my gut feeling about he and Cassie.  I don't dislike Colton so I guess I am staying, hoping for happy ending.  No matter how temporary.

locoforbach wrote:@Sprite I agree with your recap.  Absence of Cassie in previews and her crying in a vehicle has me a bit confused??  She either leaves or it is creative editing hoping for us to be shocked that it is her in the end.

She is still my F1. They showed him next to Cassie alot on the group date and then he took her back to his room (again) during their 1on1 time - he didn't take anyone else there so at this point IMO she is still his one and only.  If she isn't F1 she must have the MOST DRAMATIC secret ever because Colton 'checked out' on the rest of the girls after their 1on1.  Even the other girls realize it - they are leaving in pairs!

I heard something about Cassie having a twin sister - - - possible they have been switching places during filming and Colton doesn't realize it

If Cassie goes, my pick would be Hannah (FIR) as she seems like a genuinely nice person.  Tayshia has a good head on her shoulders but I think she is slowly making her way to the friend/confidant zone.  I am wondering about Kirpa because they seemed to have a natural connection on their date and their conversation was comfortable.  This shocked me since up until then she was only know for the band-aid on her chin.  

The previews were loaded with the two pageant girls so pretty sure their time is limited.  Maybe they will go out at same time and Hannah Growling Bear won't have to be upset that Caelyn got 1st Runner Up.

I wish someone was here that would sleuth screen caps because I really want to know if it is Cassie in the toast when they mention FS (end of Ep 1).  I was sure it was her up until they started making me doubt things last night.

OMG I had no idea Cassie was a twin. It would be hilarious if they switched them up, but I really don't think so...although they did that years ago on Big Brother. If they did, I would give tptb major props, but would think it must have been the worst season for them to have to do something like that to spice things up!

I agree about Taysha making her way to the friend zone. Truthfully, I never thought she was anywhere else. They just make us think that she isn't by how much they show her, but in a more flattering light with more "interest" from Colton.

As for Kirpa….no way is she in the mix. As soon as the lead starts talking about their relationship is slower to develop...they are toast. Always was, always will be. That was about as boring date as there could possibly be. I was shocked that he ended up giving her a rose. I thought for sure she would be the first one not to get a rose on her date, but even before that they never showed much of her. I kept forgetting she was there. She falls in the same category as Sydney, Katie and the other MOT girls. You know when they cut out showing how she got an injury like that that they could care less about her and their non existent "relationship".

I'm going to stick it out till at least the weekend. I have a four day weekend coming up so, if I do spoil myself, I will have time to catch up with all the dirt.