Kaitlyn Bristowe - Bachelorette 11 - #5 - Discussion

Kashathediva wrote:

ReneeM wrote:

Kashathediva wrote:Interesting discussion. I know many people in their 30’s still happily single. I think most would like to find that one, but for whatever it has not happened.

I think as fans we see marriage as the be all end all of success for these couples but I would honestly rather be single in my 30's than to have the marriage I see a few in this franchise have. They got some cute azz babies and dassit. Jmo.

From my POV, marriage is challenging. I’ve been married since I was 22. Yes, a totally different generation and mindset. Living w someone for decades can be umm...full total range of emotions. And then somewhere along that path, you realize you can’t imagine living without that person.
I have 2 daughters in their early to mid 30s. One is married w children. One is single. I believe it is better to be single and happy than with someone and miserable. YOLO.

Yes. Granted I’ve only been married 8 years, but I’ve been with my guy for 13 years total. *Gulp, how did that happen?!* Some years are great, some years are hard. Sometimes you feel super in love, and sometimes you co-exist. It ebbs and flows. 

I also agree it’s better to be single and happy than married and not.... but I think most people in their 30s would prefer to have a loving partner than to not. JMO

Aria wrote:LOL, MBC definitely proves that marriage doesn't necessarily equal HEA. 

I think, for me, it's just based on what the contestants want. Like I'm a fan of Kaitlyn and Rachel and I think those girls clearly want marriage and babies. If Kaitlyn was happy just being in this common law marriage type of situation and having kids out of wedlock, I would 100% be happy for her and wouldn't think K/S were any less successful than any other couple. I think it's probably the nature of this show, that it attracts women who are (deep down) more traditional and want that typical family and don't want to be single. IMO.

Oh I completely agree on this. I think Shawn's being a giant a-hole about this because he has so much hang ups about marriage & I think he's stringing Kaitlyn along. But on the other hand I wonder if even he knew/knows or if he's in denial and genuinely thinks time is the solution.

Idk. I think if Shawn meets the right person who checks all the right boxes, he’ll get married. He’s not marrying Kaitlyn cause something is off for him. The marriage phobia is just an excuse. IMO

sosleepy wrote:Idk. I think if Shawn meets the right person who checks all the right boxes, he’ll get married. He’s not marrying Kaitlyn cause something is off for him. The marriage phobia is just an excuse. IMO

I agree and disagree with this. I think he will get married to someone who checks lots of boxes but in about a healthy decade. If he met Kaitlyn in a decade and she was 10 years younger instead of 1 year older, she might have been the “one” imo from a group of potential “ones”. Since he was all gung-ho about her in the beginning but I think timing got all screwed up for them.

What I hear more often than not from single women is they want to meet someone, but at the same time they are happy with where they are with their jobs and lifestyle and don’t want to sacrifice that happiness for something less. I can understand that. It’s not easy finding that right person. I know if I ever became single, I would not consider re-marrying again. That’s just me.

ReneeM wrote:

Aria wrote:LOL, MBC definitely proves that marriage doesn't necessarily equal HEA. 

I think, for me, it's just based on what the contestants want. Like I'm a fan of Kaitlyn and Rachel and I think those girls clearly want marriage and babies. If Kaitlyn was happy just being in this common law marriage type of situation and having kids out of wedlock, I would 100% be happy for her and wouldn't think K/S were any less successful than any other couple. I think it's probably the nature of this show, that it attracts women who are (deep down) more traditional and want that typical family and don't want to be single. IMO.

Oh I completely agree on this. I think Shawn's being a giant a-hole about this because he has so much hang ups about marriage & I think he's stringing Kaitlyn along. But on the other hand I wonder if even he knew/knows or if he's in denial and genuinely thinks time is the solution.

Yeah, I get the feeling he's a dumb dumb who really doesn't understand that this is a big issue that could end their relationship. He always sounds so genuinely surprised when he hears that people think they're having issues and he still talks about marriage like it's an inevitability (but just not any time soon, k?). I think he probably just thinks this is only about him spending too much time with the business and once things calm down with the gym, things will be a-okay! It makes me wonder if he would fight for her and give her that re-proposal and wedding if he actually thought he was going to lose her...but Shawn has been so disappointing, idk anymore. 

IMO.

I do think many of the franchise weddings have been sped up by a TV offer. That's not to say they'd be waiting 3+ years otherwise, but I'm pretty sure most of them were told to either take the date they've set or leave it. It's bound to be different when no one's giving you a date and planning everything for you. The ones who've been dreaming of their wedding since they were little, which seems to be most women in BN, will charge on regardless, but I'm sure there are also exceptions to the rule. JoJo might not be that young by BN bride standards, but she's still young enough to not have her biological clock ticking too loudly, so I can see why she'd be happy to prioritise other things for the time being. They at least seem to be on the same page so far, so I'm not worried just yet.

Rachel and Bryan have only been engaged for a year and are still holding out for a TV wedding (maybe foolishly so), so they don't worry me either right now. If they still have no plans this time next year, I'll start side-eyeing since they seemed to be in a rush originally.

Kaitlyn and Shawn however, are clearly not on the same page or anywhere close to it, so it doesn't really matter how long they've been engaged, it's a massive red flag. How can Shawn still act surprised when people expect them to have wedding plans when Kaitlyn's been dropping hints (if you can even call them that) left right and centre for ages now? He still talks about their relationship as if they're just dating and seeing where things go. I wouldn't hold my breath for that re-proposal if I were Kaitlyn.

All JMO.

So if they are hoping/planning to have kids, won't Kaitlyn still have to go back to Canada for a certain amount of time each year if they aren't married? I guess I'm confused on the whole green card thing.

Has Kaitlyn talked about doing any kind of couples counseling with Shawn? She might have mentioned it on her podcast, IDK, just curious. 

I remember Ali and Roberto went to counseling to try and work out their problems. I think it helped them determine postponing the wedding and then ending their relationship was for the best, and it’s nice they didn’t waste a lot more time trying to fix something that was broken. 

If Ali was stuck in San Diego trying to save that relationship she probably wouldn’t have signed on for the lifestyle show that required traveling all over the country — and she wouldn’t have met her husband Kevin on that set! He is so great for her! Roberto is a lot more private but he appears to have a girlfriend/wife too. 

Kaitlyn and Shawn fans will just have to remember that breaking up, if it comes to that, will open new doors for them and will eventually bring new special people into their lives.

P.S. Watch the golf clubs! Will she ship them to Nashville?

ilgirl wrote:So if they are hoping/planning to have kids, won't Kaitlyn still have to go back to Canada for a certain amount of time each year if they aren't married?  I guess I'm confused on the whole green card thing.  

yeah it makes no sense. The green card situation is serious business and if he is having cold feet he should not be treating it very dismissively.

A lot of my friends went thru similar situations with their boyfriends and in all cases it ended with an ultimatum which didn't lead to happy endings. It's a sad situation for Kaitlyn and I feel for her , but she has to put her self first and what she wants in her future as a priority.

@missnana

 I think Shawn sees marriage as a practical thing he'll have to do because of the green card and not something he wants to do.

This is what Kaitlyn said on Jade/Carly's podcast:

“I was like, are we ever going to get married? And Shawn said ‘well you’re Canadian, you’ll need a green card’”

Mr. Romance right there.

Yikes! Hope if they get married and she asks, do you love me ? His reply won’t be, I marrried you didn’t I?