Bachelor 22 - Arie Luyendyk Jr - Episodes - Mar 5th FRC ATFR - #2 - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

tigertiz wrote:

docnash14 wrote:I don't think he is blameless.  I think he royally screwed up in several ways.  He should never had told either woman he was in love with her, should never have proposed to Becca given how conflicted he was (although I still maintain his contract likely compelled him to do so) and when Becca told him to leave, he should have.  However, regarding the latter, I don't believe he stayed because he is  jerk or because he was trying to make it harder on her.  I think he stayed because he felt badly about what he had done and he didn't want to leave her when she was that upset.  Don't agree with his decision but I do believe that was his reasoning.  So while he did not respect her boundaries, to be fair, he did respect them by not touching her after she told him not to.

I think it's unconscionable that the scene was filmed. Don't understand why Becca didn't question when the camera people were there and, like Kasha, I would have demanded that they leave or have left myself if I were Becca.  That said, my guess is that once Arie told the producers he had a change of heart he was given a choice to either tell Becca live before the studio audience at the ATFR (he just about said as much to Becca) or have it filmed sooner at the safe house.  I think he chose the latter as he thought it would be not as embarrassing for Becca and because this timetable suited his own needs better.  He admitted to being concerned that the longer he stayed with Becca the likelihood of reconciling with Lauren would diminish (Arie wins no sensitivity contest with that comment).  And if the producers were true to form, as they did with Jason, were likely exacerbating Arie's concern by telling him that Lauren was in the running to be the next Bachelorette.  So, yes, I think Arie was being selfish by considering his own needs.  Sounds like I am making an excuse for him but aren't we all supposed to be responsible for getting our needs met.

I don't agree with those who saw him emotion-less.  Jason Mesnick or even Ben H. he's not.  By his own admission, he is not a crier.  But in his break-up with Lauren, he looked like he was about to be sick and he did, in fact, cry.  Throughout the season we were witness to how Arie somaticized his feelings rather than felt them.  In the break up scene with Becca, his flushed face, neck and even hands bore witness (IMO) to the genuineness of his feelings.  Do I think Arie needs therapy?  Yes, I do.  Do I think he is a terrible person?  No.

. So much insight. Thank you yet again.

MiaHawk wrote:Hello. I'mmm baaaack.
So...What have I missed?

Rolly wrote:

Aunties_Love wrote:

northernviewer wrote:I was surprised to find out how much becca actually knew and how many times they’d discussed his feelings for Lauren post show. If she was truly shocked by that breakup .... she was delusional IMO

The real cruelty tonight was tptb for showing so much of Beccas embarrassment.... hope she keeps that in mind when she’s the ette ... they’re not your friends Becca !

Yep so according to The People's article, for someone wo admits to all the talks about everything from his feelings, liking posts, etc....she didn't know there were problems or at least weren't willing to admit that things aren't rosey.....YIKES!  I am sorry but if you have that many red flags, how could you NOT know??

So they talk on the phone and have a few SHV. Does anybody doubt with Arie talking about still thinking about Lauren and feeling guilty with how he dumped her that Arie didn’t also continue to say to Becca he loved her.....so much?I’m sure he continued to tell Becca how “solid” she is and so grateful because Becca is being so patient with him? Does anybody doubt that there weren’t also reassurances from Arie.....after the finale they could work together out in the open as a team to plan their future? Arie is a con. Arie went to see Lauren to test the waters and see if there was a chance she would take him back. Lauren told him she still loved him so he knew she would. Just MO but I would not doubt that Arie had more than just one contact with Lauren. Why would anybody believe anything Arie says?

Arie says he will have a better chance finding out if his relationship with Lauren will work if he breaks things off with Becca sooner rather than later. Who says this when they are breaking someone’s heart? How insensitive and self centered can he be?

What kind of man would allow for the cameras to film this breakup knowing that Becca would be blindsided and heartbroken and humiliated? Arie is an awful person and should be ashamed of himself.When someone shows who they are believe them. Becca, and Lauren, deserve so much better than this jerk.IMO.