Bachelor 22 - Arie Luyendyk Jr - F1-F4 - Discussion - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

RM made it sound like Lauren being engaged twice before would come up on the show. I know RS denied it, where did you see that Lauren denied it ?

I wonder if Arie visits this site to look for options to explain his decisions. If he is grasping at straws what better place than the switcheroo thread.JK.... I think.

I’m not sure we will get the real story. If there had been major manipulation at the end don’t you think Arie and Becca would have discussed it in the FS and after?

tigertiz wrote:Thanks for bringing that over, @GuardianAngel.  This analysis seems more than plausible.  Brilliant.  Thank you for you insight, doc.  

This line.  I keep rereading this and thinking about how this has impacted my life at various junctures.  

What I also know is that the wounded part of us can often get mistaken by ourselves for our gut.

If I imagine producers the asking their consulting psychologist (assume there is still one) how to set up a situation in which Arie could be easily be manipulated/vulnerable to suggestion, a quick answer would be to put him in a situation in which he was apt to be triggered. Knowing how devastated he was by Emily choosing Jef over him and his resultant heart-break would have made it easy for them to concoct a plan to replicate a triangulation in which once again he would be faced with the possibility of another man be chosen over him. Similar to the situation with Emily in which it appears that Arie was confident in Emily's love for him, Arie was likely blindsided by the possibility that Becca might reject him since she has been so steadfast in declaring her feelings for him. So wounded part takes over masquerading as the gut and tells him that his feeling this devastated by the thought of losing Becca is the evidence he has been seeking about whom to choose. What he likely would not be privy to (at least consciously) is that the the triggering response is rarely, if ever, rational since the person is reacting to the present as if it is the past (when the original wounding took place). Further, when we are triggered, our responding behavior is typically a frantic attempt to circumvent the same outcome we originally experienced (e.g. not being the chosen one) rather than a sound decision that our true gut would have made. Accordingly, the person may act in a way that appears inexplicable to others and even to self.

He’s also back to can’t say if he’s in love or not after WTA . He’s making me seasick .

When Arie went to Lauren’s IG and it was noticed and brought here, surely his handler or other producers caught it too. Would that have brought up dialogue that led to the switch ?

@docnash14 there where two psychologists this season and one quit . I read that on reddit. Double the manipulation

Stone_Hedge wrote:He’s also back to can’t say if he’s in love or not after WTA . He’s making me seasick .

When Arie went to Lauren’s IG and it was noticed and brought here, surely his handler or other producers caught it too. Would that have brought up dialogue that led to the switch ?

Could Becca have read about it here and started asking Arie detailed questions? I seem to remember that her headshot on her instagram page quoted Kasha verbatim.

Kolormiblnd wrote:

Stone_Hedge wrote:He’s also back to can’t say if he’s in love or not after WTA . He’s making me seasick .

When Arie went to Lauren’s IG and it was noticed and brought here, surely his handler or other producers caught it too. Would that have brought up dialogue that led to the switch ?

Could Becca have read about it here and started asking Arie detailed questions? I seem to remember that her headshot on her instagram page quoted Kasha verbatim.

That would be something! She could have been all in on the relationship and blindsided from what she read here . That would be UnReal. What was quoted?

Rolly wrote:RM made it sound like Lauren being engaged twice before would come up on the show. I know RS denied it, where did you see that Lauren denied it ?

A poster here made a post here saying

everly wrote:Not sure if this is where Steve is getting his info from but yesterday Lauren responded to a fan account about this story saying it's fake news. The fan account has deleted the post.  They made a comment on Lauren's Insta that they removed it after seeing her comment.

Lucas15 wrote:

Rolly wrote:RM made it sound like Lauren being engaged twice before would come up on the show. I know RS denied it, where did you see that Lauren denied it ?

A poster here made a post here saying

everly wrote:Not sure if this is where Steve is getting his info from but yesterday Lauren responded to a fan account about this story saying it's fake news. The fan account has deleted the post.  They made a comment on Lauren's Insta that they removed it after seeing her comment.

The information @everly posted is direct from RS. She may have gotten it elsewhere, but those exact words in that exact order are from RS.

docnash14 wrote:

tigertiz wrote:Thanks for bringing that over, @GuardianAngel.  This analysis seems more than plausible.  Brilliant.  Thank you for you insight, doc.  

This line.  I keep rereading this and thinking about how this has impacted my life at various junctures.  

What I also know is that the wounded part of us can often get mistaken by ourselves for our gut.

If I imagine producers the  asking their consulting psychologist (assume there is still one) how to set up a situation in which Arie could be easily be manipulated/vulnerable to suggestion, a quick answer would be to put him in a situation in which he was apt to be triggered.  Knowing how devastated he was by Emily choosing Jef over him and his resultant heart-break would have made it easy for them to concoct a plan to replicate a triangulation in which once again he would be faced with the possibility of another man be chosen over him. Similar to the situation with Emily in which it appears that Arie was confident in Emily's love for him, Arie was likely blindsided by the possibility that Becca might reject him since she has been so steadfast in declaring her feelings for him.  So wounded part takes over masquerading as the gut and tells him that his feeling this devastated by the thought of losing Becca is the evidence he has been seeking about whom to choose.  What he likely would not be privy to (at least consciously) is that the the triggering response is rarely, if ever, rational since the person is reacting to the present as if it is the past (when the original wounding took place). Further, when we are triggered, our responding behavior is typically a frantic attempt to circumvent the same outcome we originally experienced (e.g. not being the chosen one) rather than a sound decision that our true gut would have made.  Accordingly, the person may act in a way that appears inexplicable to others and even to self.  

The bolded in particular makes sense to me. I feel like no matter how willing TPTB are to throw Airy under the bus, and don't care how he is perceived, they have to show the viewers SOMETHING to make it at least marginally credible to the viewers that after a mid season shift to the Lauren show, he wound up choosing Becca. And the bolded fits the part of the narrative that Sean's advice was to choose the one he couldn't say goodbye to.

Speaking about Sean, he also gave advice that after the filming was the hardest and they have to commit to each other . He’d hope Arie would take his advice. I thought Sean would be more active this season but he’s posted next to nothing . It can’t be all about Samuel and his schedule because Sean is giving hourly updates about what’s happening in his family. Just interesting imo.

Kolormiblnd wrote:I follow both of your theories, but I am glad that @Lucas15, ends by saying you are not sold on your theory, because neither am I. This theory makes Arie very gullible and egocentric  - did Arie and Lauren have a FD? Did they talk, really talk? Arie would have known by then all there was to know about LB's prior engagement and a few other things that she would/should have shared and the same is true for him. How then would it have been easy for another man showing up to propose to a girl he was not intending to make his F1, easily change his mind. I don't buy this. MO

You've nailed pretty much why I posted that I'm not sold on my theory.

I used to think that in order for Arie's switch to make sense as being "real", something had to have gone either very right with Becca or very wrong with Lauren. But that was several episodes ago and since then we've seen another 1-1 with both girls and also a HTD with both. Not that Arie's time with Becca has been bad, but I still don't see him as any more connected to Becca than he's been with several other girls that he's already sent home; so much for "very right". On the other side of the equation, nothing has really gone wrong with Lauren - in fact things have gone pretty right between them. It seems as though they are developing a karmic sort of connection (eg Lauren's comment to her Mom that she knows what he's thinking); I almost expect them to start completing each other's sentences. And the ex return happens after the FD with all 3 girls (according to the episode description) and that description teases "Lauren B. drops a bombshell. That night, Arie convinces his once skeptical date of his true feelings in an extremely emotional declaration."  Just more stuff going right, IMO.

With each episode showing deeper and deeper connections between Arie and Lauren, the notion of Arie really changing his feelings gets more and more difficult to rationalize to my way of looking at things.

JMHO