Lauren Burnham - **Sleuthing Spoilers**

This is my feeling and on take on things. All I have heard is he/she said that she said and then I hear someone else say no that's not what was said (well not heard but read) but haven't heard anything what Arie said. I have a problem with that because I don't know him nor the women to determine who's credible. He's dated several women but hasn't fallen in love to want to marry them. I'm pretty sure he has had high hopes but it just hasn't worked out. So I choose to step back and not dislike either one of them, cause I don't know them...now that's just me, I don't like spreading things, when you don't know facts, then you end up spreading lies. I understand others feel differently about it and that's their prerogative.
What I see from the show is a man that is serious about finding a wife otherwise he wouldn't have had a problem with Bekah M age or he could have chosen Krystal and continue to be this so-called playboy and just play on. I don't see him kissing no more than what the other leads did. My thought is that he chose Becca, because he thought it was a good choice even knowing how strong his feelings for Lauren was. He just realized afterward that it was easily said than done, he couldn't get over her. He made a mistake, that makes him human not a horrible person.If his heart yearn for Lauren then he should have went back for her, I don't blame him, yes I hate Becca had to get her heart broken. If he and Lauren don't make it, that still doesn't make him be a bad person. I will wait to see just what happened and how. JMO

GuardianAngel wrote:Single Arie, dating whom ever, hooking up with whom ever, while they agree to a relationship without commitment, jumping in the sack at a moments notice, is IMO different than asking Lauren to give him a chance and promising her whatever. If he cheats on Lauren while they are together, he gets what he deserves.

I had a friend that was cheating on her husband with a married man. She didn't trust him and was driving herself crazy. There were no plans of leaving each other's spouse. It was a romp in the sack time and time again. After two years, she finally listened to me. "What are you complaining about? You're there at a moments notice for him, he has no plans on leaving his wife, what exactly do you expect? You're foolish for playing along and have no one to blame but yourself." That to me is cheating. Two people, both married, both made vows, and they are with another man/lady.

At the same time I'm not blaming Lauren for agreeing to date after being let go at F2. We all live and learn. If she feels he's the one, I don't think she should back off because of his past. If it doesn't work out, and he does cheat, I will not be judging her for her decisions. We make decisions in our life based on what we know at the time. If she felt at the time it was the right thing to do, I respect her for taking that chance. All my opinion and the way I see things in life.

I give Molly and Lauren a lot of credit. I'm not sure I could do it.

Well said, GA!  It's Arie's decision to switch partners and also Lauren's decision to take him back.  We keep asking what happened after the film stopped rolling.  It could be as simple as Becca and Arie were just not compatible.  I have had that happen in real life where I thought someone was perfect for me in the beginning, but then after some time spent together, it just wasn't a match.  He does treat Lauren differently than all the other girls.  He is constantly seeking her out for SQT and wants to get to know her better.  He is naturally drawn to her and I'm guessing it has to do with her quiet demeanor.  He was practically doing a handstand on their biking trip in Tuscany next week trying to impress her.  

From August 2013 to August 2017 did Guistina go on vacations together, did she meet his parents, did they spend Christmas and holidays together. IIRC he posted pics of Sydney on his IG and she did in fact meet his family and they did do things together. I find it hard to believe no other women knew about Sydney. Those that have always followed Arie closely know better than I do.

I read Giustina's comments as meaning that she dated Arie off and on during that time period. He was pretty public about dating other women. I dont think that's unusual in the least.

pbmax wrote:This is my feeling and on take on things. All I have heard is he/she said that she said and then I hear someone else say no that's not what was said (well not heard but read) but haven't heard anything what Arie said. I have a problem with that because I don't know him nor the women to determine who's credible. He's dated several women but hasn't fallen in love to want to marry them. I'm pretty sure he has had high hopes but it just hasn't worked out. So I choose to step back and not dislike either one of them, cause I don't know them...now that's just me, I don't like spreading things, when you don't know facts, then you end up spreading lies. I understand others feel differently about it and that's their prerogative.
What I see from the show is a man that is serious about finding a wife otherwise he wouldn't have had a problem with Bekah M age or he could have chosen Krystal and continue to be this so-called playboy and just play on. I don't see him kissing no more than what the other leads did. My thought is that he chose Becca, because he thought it was a good choice even knowing how strong his feelings for Lauren was. He just realized afterward that it was easily said than done, he couldn't get over her. He made a mistake, that makes him human not a horrible person.If his heart yearn for Lauren then he should have went back for her, I don't blame him, yes I hate Becca had to get her heart broken. If he and Lauren don't make it, that still doesn't make him be a bad person. I will wait to see just what happened and how. JMO

You have articulated this in a way that I agree with.  I feel like without at least hearing what Arie has to say I can't make an impartial judgement.  After it plays out and I see how it goes down with Lauren in a real world scenario, it doesn't feel right to me to harshly judge (but that's me).  

My gut feeling with no proof is that Lauren captured his heart more so than his groin or his head (the girl who is just sexy but not much else OR perfect on paper and checks off all the boxes but the butterflies and that heart soaring passion along with real life compatibility can-I-see-myself-with-her-every-day is not there, which I think men need to be truly in love).  It seems with Lauren it is more than sexual attraction and/or more than compatibility.  

I feel like if Arie wanted to go back to his playboy ways he would have broken up with Becca and called it a day.  He would have been a free man coming right off the bachelor and would have many women sliding into his DMs or him sliding into theirs riding high on all the fame and those women who were attracted and wanted a chance with him.  Or could have gone back to Sydney and picked up where he left off - a pretty young sweet blond who made no demands on him.  Or gone back to any of his other exes.  They all seem to take him back.   Instead, he risks a sh*t storm coming his way to be with Lauren.

GuardianAngel wrote:I'm not endorsing his behaviour. I'm commenting on the article about the two women. Like so many former ex's they speak up when the contestant goes on the show. A player plays, but he's not a player if those he gets involved with don't take part in his playing ways IMHO.

Why did Guistine not speak up earlier like 6 months ago, or whenever. I wouldn't date a guy for four years, on and off, and no ILY's or commitment, if I was looking for a long term relationship. If I was looking for a friend with benefits, then IMO I have no right to complain what he does. He went to visit her a month before he was announced, they slept together, that seemed to be ok with her at the time. Did she not see the pic's that were being posted on IG of him and Sydney for months.

http://people.com/tv/new-bachelor-arie-luyendyk-jr-s-ex-shades-him-twitter/

Lauren is the one who has to decide if his past behaviour is a concern or not. I don't know that he got bored and switched, I don't know why he called any of his ex's. To me, it appears, Lauren is the one he is chasing. He wanted her to like him, he needed validation from her. I'm curious to see how it plays out and how Lauren deals with the aftermath, if they are in fact still together.

ETA: @BKay  Great post, that's exactly my opinion.

I have always heard my elders say when the right one comes along there will be a change. My daughter was just saying last week something she heard, that a player can get played...she brought up the movie boomerang.

Arie was of the mindset..."The time is now". I do feel he was interested in Lauren B but he didn't connect with her the way one does when you can see a future with them in a natural/non realtity TV setting. Up until this point, he seems a lil desperate and he's really searching for something to hang his hat on. I don't think it was a slow burn, I think the relationship just progressed as he spent more time with her but I still don't see the light in his eyes with anyone other than Bekah M.  When she said "22", IMO, it really really threw him.

I'm not sure he hasn't talked himself into needing a relationship because that's where his head is at during this journey. I feel bad for him in some ways. IMO, he is trying to see it through. Also, IMO, he broke a girl's heart at FRC when he encouraged her feelings. I'm not sure he ever got past that. I do think he found what he thought he wanted in Becca K but together, the relationship just didn't feel warm. He needs that, IMO.

I was checking out Lauren's ex's IG page and noticed in his bio he states he is a follower of Jesus, so it makes me wonder if Lauren is a woman of faith? How about Arie? Inquiring minds would like to know.

Mommyof2 wrote:I was checking out Lauren's ex's IG page and noticed in his bio he states he is a follower of Jesus, so it makes me wonder if Lauren is a woman of faith?   How about Arie?  Inquiring minds would like to know.  

Based on Arie’s comments on his date with Tia I don’t think he’s a believer, or if he is it’s something important to him at all.

pbmax wrote:This is my feeling and on take on things. All I have heard is he/she said that she said and then I hear someone else say no that's not what was said (well not heard but read) but haven't heard anything what Arie said. I have a problem with that because I don't know him nor the women to determine who's credible. He's dated several women but hasn't fallen in love to want to marry them. I'm pretty sure he has had high hopes but it just hasn't worked out. So I choose to step back and not dislike either one of them, cause I don't know them...now that's just me, I don't like spreading things, when you don't know facts, then you end up spreading lies. I understand others feel differently about it and that's their prerogative.
What I see from the show is a man that is serious about finding a wife otherwise he wouldn't have had a problem with Bekah M age or he could have chosen Krystal and continue to be this so-called playboy and just play on. I don't see him kissing no more than what the other leads did. My thought is that he chose Becca, because he thought it was a good choice even knowing how strong his feelings for Lauren was. He just realized afterward that it was easily said than done, he couldn't get over her. He made a mistake, that makes him human not a horrible person.If his heart yearn for Lauren then he should have went back for her, I don't blame him, yes I hate Becca had to get her heart broken. If he and Lauren don't make it, that still doesn't make him be a bad person. I will wait to see just what happened and how. JMO

totally !!

The first time he said he was in love , and the last ? TBD .

Source:
https://goo.gl/images/N7KkuE
http://abc.go.com/shows/the-bachelor/cast/season-22-lauren-b-2018

Lauren is a strong Christian.  Arie is not.  That might pose a problem down the road...long term.   Jmo.

I just wonder why Lauren’s dad would say he’d kill Arie with an expletive if proven wrong. That can’t be from HTD unless the dad knew of Arie’s rep with the ladies. It’s an odd thing to say knowing at that point there were still 4 girls left and it wasn’t a guarantee Arie would pick Lauren . Sounds more like when Arie went back to VA to speak to the parents imo.