Nick Viall - Bachelor 21 - Discussion

GuardianAngel wrote:[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] You're not proven wrong. You are entitled to your opinions since there is no concrete proof from Vanessa herself on how she's feeling.

GuardianAngel wrote:[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] You're not proven wrong. You are entitled to your opinions since there is no concrete proof from Vanessa herself on how she's feeling.

lleyki wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] You're not proven wrong. You are entitled to your opinions since there is no concrete proof from Vanessa herself on how she's feeling.

This. I think the point is, and it's one many will do well to always remember, is that unless someone tells you what they're thinking or feeling, you can never really know for a fact. You can have opinions and an idea but humans are complex. Things aren't always neatly defined and explained, especially when dealing with human emotions.

lleyki wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] You're not proven wrong. You are entitled to your opinions since there is no concrete proof from Vanessa herself on how she's feeling.

This. I think the point is, and it's one many will do well to always remember, is that unless someone tells you what they're thinking or feeling, you can never really know for a fact. You can have opinions and an idea but humans are complex. Things aren't always neatly defined and explained, especially when dealing with human emotions.

Bluejay271 wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] You're not proven wrong. You are entitled to your opinions since there is no concrete proof from Vanessa herself on how she's feeling.

Yeah, I guess I just find her behaviour confusing, that's all. I went to Vanessa's page to watch the part where she brought up the break-up and I couldn't make sense of it at all. It seemed like she was trying to be funny but then realized that she had unintentionally thrown shade at Nick and then tried to recover by saying that Nick was a "good guy"...but she was laughing the entire time so I also couldn't help but wonder if she was low-key throwing shade at Nick but was embarrassed because she could tell that she got caught out and was trying to be all cavalier about everything in order to make the situation less awkward than it already was (even though she brought that on herself) . But then I also noticed on Vanessa's page that a lot of people are of the opinion that she is trying too hard to seem happy to the point where she is masking her pain through humour...which I guess could also be possible but I have no idea what to believe. Oh well, it really is all just speculation at the end of the day...only Vanessa knows how she is really feeling.

notarose wrote:There is another explanation for Nick's SM - acceptance.
When people grieve the loss of a relationship, the person and the future they envisioned, they often go through stages like denial, anger, and finally acceptance. To get there you have to accept or acknowledge your own emotions and single status, like still having love feelings but with that comes the hurt of knowing the love was not enough, that despite the good qualities Nick loved in V, the day to day relationship wasn't what either wanted/needed in a marriage. Honestly, living together is a great way to find that out and if it isn't working that's just reality. JMO but I think marriage and children is something both want but marriage to each other ended up not being a good fit.
Why the likes of quotes?  By letting yourself feel that hurt you don't get stuck in limbo. You can do yourself a disservice through avoidance so IMO one needs to just let yourself feel/acknowledge hurt, in order to move on. Nick lives in the once shared apartment so he can't really avoid a place where they once cooked, made love, argued, laughed. That hits hard for the person still there but it also is a strong reality check so IMO wearing a cap (by the way, first seen in Mexico at the wedding which was possibly an up/down weekend) is likely much less emotional than his first week alone in the apartment. By still being in LA he has likely already walked by or been to places they used to shop or eat at so again he gradually faces the future without her at a natural pace. Gradually reminders of her will be less frequent.  They will just be places and the cap will just be an item of clothing.  Every heartbroken person needs to not avoid in order to heal.
IMO his decision to post a pic with a tshirt logo "Are you ready?" in retrospect was him waiting for V to be ready to announce the breakup. I also don't fault her for continuing to post pics and vid with her engagement ring however the breakup announcement did come very shortly after she posted her pasta pic with no rings. I did think she was a more reliable narrator than I do now. Now I just think she deals with things differently for her own reasons, reasons I don't understand but am also not going judge her for. If I am correct, then Nick overcame the denial stage much sooner than V.
I also think Nick has replaced anger with intentionally striving to be positive. In SM he is doing things he enjoys like hiking, working out, playing with animation features, visiting his fav people, even getting a custom suit for the wedding in NYC. We choose our mindset and this positivity plus his giving back to others by working the Red Cross phone line and participating in the Red Cross day are all pluses to rebuilding a quality life as a single person.
IMO V was the right choice for Nick on the show and like any new relationship, the more you know the more knowledge you have to decide the course of the relationship. In this case, it wasn't right for marriage. V will be right for someone else just as Nick will be for someone else.  Ideally, when each gets to the point that they each can acknowledge the good traits each other had, and the good relationship traits, then they each can take that learning into a new relationship with someone who offers that and whatever was missing. Breakups are sad but most people have a lot of them over the course of a lifetime and it's my belief that it is a relationship that fails but that people themselves are not failures.  People are merely human looking for lasting love.

notarose wrote:There is another explanation for Nick's SM - acceptance.
When people grieve the loss of a relationship, the person and the future they envisioned, they often go through stages like denial, anger, and finally acceptance. To get there you have to accept or acknowledge your own emotions and single status, like still having love feelings but with that comes the hurt of knowing the love was not enough, that despite the good qualities Nick loved in V, the day to day relationship wasn't what either wanted/needed in a marriage. Honestly, living together is a great way to find that out and if it isn't working that's just reality. JMO but I think marriage and children is something both want but marriage to each other ended up not being a good fit.
Why the likes of quotes?  By letting yourself feel that hurt you don't get stuck in limbo. You can do yourself a disservice through avoidance so IMO one needs to just let yourself feel/acknowledge hurt, in order to move on. Nick lives in the once shared apartment so he can't really avoid a place where they once cooked, made love, argued, laughed. That hits hard for the person still there but it also is a strong reality check so IMO wearing a cap (by the way, first seen in Mexico at the wedding which was possibly an up/down weekend) is likely much less emotional than his first week alone in the apartment. By still being in LA he has likely already walked by or been to places they used to shop or eat at so again he gradually faces the future without her at a natural pace. Gradually reminders of her will be less frequent.  They will just be places and the cap will just be an item of clothing.  Every heartbroken person needs to not avoid in order to heal.
IMO his decision to post a pic with a tshirt logo "Are you ready?" in retrospect was him waiting for V to be ready to announce the breakup. I also don't fault her for continuing to post pics and vid with her engagement ring however the breakup announcement did come very shortly after she posted her pasta pic with no rings. I did think she was a more reliable narrator than I do now. Now I just think she deals with things differently for her own reasons, reasons I don't understand but am also not going judge her for. If I am correct, then Nick overcame the denial stage much sooner than V.
I also think Nick has replaced anger with intentionally striving to be positive. In SM he is doing things he enjoys like hiking, working out, playing with animation features, visiting his fav people, even getting a custom suit for the wedding in NYC. We choose our mindset and this positivity plus his giving back to others by working the Red Cross phone line and participating in the Red Cross day are all pluses to rebuilding a quality life as a single person.
IMO V was the right choice for Nick on the show and like any new relationship, the more you know the more knowledge you have to decide the course of the relationship. In this case, it wasn't right for marriage. V will be right for someone else just as Nick will be for someone else.  Ideally, when each gets to the point that they each can acknowledge the good traits each other had, and the good relationship traits, then they each can take that learning into a new relationship with someone who offers that and whatever was missing. Breakups are sad but most people have a lot of them over the course of a lifetime and it's my belief that it is a relationship that fails but that people themselves are not failures.  People are merely human looking for lasting love.

Mochaginj wrote:

Bluejay271 wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] You're not proven wrong. You are entitled to your opinions since there is no concrete proof from Vanessa herself on how she's feeling.

Yeah, I guess I just find her behaviour confusing, that's all. I went to Vanessa's page to watch the part where she brought up the break-up and I couldn't make sense of it at all. It seemed like she was trying to be funny but then realized that she had unintentionally thrown shade at Nick and then tried to recover by saying that Nick was a "good guy"...but she was laughing the entire time so I also couldn't help but wonder if she was low-key throwing shade at Nick but was embarrassed because she could tell that she got caught out and was trying to be all cavalier about everything in order to make the situation less awkward than it already was (even though she brought that on herself) . But then I also noticed on Vanessa's page that a lot of people are of the opinion that she is trying too hard to seem happy to the point where she is masking her pain through humour...which I guess could also be possible but I have no idea what to believe. Oh well, it really is all just speculation at the end of the day...only Vanessa knows how she is really feeling.

IMO I don't think she unintentionally threw shade and then tried to cover it up. Zuri was the one to mention Nicks name in the first place, making a joke that "was she Vanessa from Nicks season" because of what the person asked. They did introduce her as Vanessa from the Bachekor right at the start. I felt like she was trying to make light of something that could have been awkward. I think her reply was genuine

Where is the pasta pic with no rings?

Mochaginj wrote:
IMO his likes on quotes are saying more than acceptance. "How can I not be addicted to you, when you make sense of all that hurts, and break me down like no one has ever done before" :broken heart:
And quotes about waiting, and space, and love coming back.. Sounds like someone who has hope IMO.

Also the hat was first seen on his trip back from Montreal after the fundraiser. The one he wore in Mexico was different if I'm correct.