Nick Viall & Vanessa Grimaldi - Bachelor 21 - Discussion - #3

SeekAny wrote:I really liked them, thought they looked so happy early on. But I have to say I come out of this a Vanessa fan more than anything. She's got her act together, knows what's important.  I don't think Nick ever fully met her half way and her life and family back in Montreal were too hard to give up.

         -  IMO  -  I also feel the same...but, I also believe that they want to focus on their individual careers more right now...I am hoping though that if the attractions are really that intense and they really are soul mates...they may get back together again and low key continue their relationships without any public scrutiny...maybe we will be seeing some spotting get together in the future...

Stacia620 wrote:http://okmagazine.com/videos/signs-nick-viall-vanessa-grimaldi-destined-to-split/

8 Signs Nick Viall & Vanessa Grimaldi Were Destined To Split
The writing was on the wall.

Their Chemistry

While Nick and Vanessa made quite the good-looking couple they seemed to be missing that spark in their relationship. -  I agree with this.

Differing Career Paths

Nick seemed drawn to the spotlight while Vanessa looked like she hated all of the attention. -  I don't think Vanessa hated the attention at all. jmo

Dancing With The Stars

Almost immediately after The Bachelor wrapped Nick was onto his next show, Dancing With The Stars, which required him to spend HOURS away from his fiancé. - I think they both handled this very well.

They’re Two COMPLETELY Different People

While on The Bachelor, Nick and Vanessa never seemed like they were on the same page. -  I agree with this.

They Met On Reality TV

Hello, they’re a bachelor couple. The barely knew each other before making one of the biggest commitments two people can make. #BachelorCurse

Wedding Date

Nick never seemed like he wanted to get married. The former software salesman even revealed to Us Weekly in July that wedding planning was still on hold. “Nothing has changed,” he said. “I think it’s always important to take things slow.”  - Nick has always said that he wants to find that person and get married and have a family. He just has not found "the one" yet. jmo

         -  IMO -   In contrast to the article...I believe they have chemistry...there is also sparks...but, it is really hard for relationships to survive with so much scrutiny from the public--too much negativity around them from the TB environment itself...ignoring all of these negativities will be really tough...   - IMO -

         -  IMO -  I think Nick and Vanessa are on the same page during TB, but as their careers surge, it seems to lead them into different paths...I believe that if Nick and Vanessa don't have the chemistry to work the relationships, the sparks existing and being on the same page...they won't even get to the point of being engaged... their personalities maybe similar... but, their level of maturities may have been different... they have similarities and differences... but, I believe if they work on them they will be able to work it out...I feel like their differences actually complement each other...the major factor affecting the relationships I think is the negative reception surrounding them...that is really kind of hard to ignore... as far as I can see...they are both great communicators...Vanessa is great with transmitting messages tactfully, thus this minimize the possible conflicts of big fights occurring... Vanessa, I don't think is against Nick going into acting... but, I think maybe there is a slight commitment issues coming into play on Nick's side... if Nick is that committed, I think, Vanessa would have fought harder... but, regardless it will be tough to go through with all the negativity build in by TPTB themselves on their relationships and the public negative responses, in addition to the public scrutiny on their every move...   -  IMO -

         -IMO -   Maybe Nick and Vanessa both need a break from these negativity... and re-build their relationship in a more normal environment...if it is meant to be... they will be back in each others arm at the right moment in time...   -  JMO -

Skates wrote:
         -  IMO -   In contrast to the article...I believe they have chemistry...there is also sparks...but, it is really hard for relationships to survive with so much scrutiny from the public--too much negativity around them from the TB environment itself...ignoring all of these negativities will be really tough...   -  IMO -

         -  IMO -  I think Nick and Vanessa are on the same page during TB, but as their careers surge, it seems to lead them into different paths...I believe that if Nick and Vanessa don't have the chemistry to work the relationships, the sparks existing and being on the same page...they won't even get to the point of being engaged... their personalities maybe similar... but, their level of maturities may have been different... they have similarities and differences... but, I believe if they work on them they will be able to work it out...I feel like their differences actually complement each other...the major factor affecting the relationships I think is the negative reception surrounding them...that is really kind of hard to ignore... as far as I can see...they are both great communicators...Vanessa is great with transmitting messages tactfully, thus this minimize the possible conflicts of big fights occurring... Vanessa, I don't think is against Nick going into acting... but, I think maybe there is a slight commitment issues coming into play on Nick's side... if Nick is that committed, I think, Vanessa would have fought harder... but, regardless it will be tough to go through with all the negativity build in by TPTB themselves on their relationships and the public negative responses, in addition to the public scrutiny on their every move...   -  IMO -

         -IMO -   Maybe Nick and Vanessa both need a break from these negativity... and re-build their relationship in a more normal environment...if it is meant to be... they will be back in each others arm at the right moment in time...   -  JMO -

While I do agree that they have had a lot of negativity. I want to submit that the negativity that they have received pales in comparison to what other Bach couples (who are still together) have received. Perhaps it has more to do with their tenacity to prevail over the negativity, the lack of a solid friendship and foundation, and conflicting priorities as you mentioned. Not to mention that their personalities, as different as they were from each other, often clashed rather than complemented the other IMO and this was evident even while the show aired. All JMO. Also, I think their relationship would have stood a much better chance had they moved to a low-key city. Yet, Nick chose to remain in LA where the media and tabloids look for their pound of flesh. Living in LA, IMO, puts any new Bach relationship at a disadvantage. But like I've said in a previous post, this relationship was doomed from the start IMO as there was no solid foundation or friendship upon which their romantic love could have been built.

I'm going to venture off into wild conjecture for a bit: Nick seems like the kind of guy who makes it easy for females to cry on his shoulder. With all those siblings, he grew up that way. I can see a scenario where Corinne was sooo upset that she called to cry to Nick about it and I can see him not thinking there was anything wrong with it cause he knew he didn't feel romantically for her, and he was used to being "that guy" for friends. But can you imagine how V would feel? The green-eyed monster could destroy what feelings they had for one another if it continued and they fought over it.

Like I said, wild conjecture, but I just wanted to illustrate how we have no idea what tore them apart.

Nick's father told Vanessa that love is not enough - you have to be willing to give up and sacrifice for the other person.

Vanessa left Montreal - her job- all her family and friends - to go live with Nick in LA.  Supported him thru Dancing with the Stars and his new "business".  That seems to be quite a lot of giving up and sacrificing to me.  

Nick gave up and sacrificed what for Vanessa - nothing (except closet space).  

Vanessa gets to hear Nick say repeatedly they have things to work on & have to take it slow.

They best analysis of this whole situation was by Patti Stanger - the millionaire matchmaker - where she explained why Nick needs to Grow the F*** Up!

He should have never proposed and she should have never accepted the proposal. He knew that he did not want to leave LA and move to Canada and she knew that she did not want to move from Canada permanently.  No win situation. Apparently the love was not strong enough for either of them. I thought he was joking when he told Andi he may be sending 30 girls home, but I think he probably actually considered that. It might have been best if had walked away alone.  All jmo.

ETA I guess matters of the heart aren't that simple

I don't fault her for trying. Sometimes you don't know how something will feel till you're living it. I think her grandparents are snowbirds so perhaps she thought she could pull off something similar.

I def think the older one gets the harder it gets to let another person into your space, physical and emotional. The sad thing is that each (nick?) will probably have a similar struggle with the next person he decides to live with. I def wish they had tried counseling....with so much love there, maybe they just needed some support, even if only to offset the negativity around them. I could be wrong, but while nick may feel he can breathe because he is not answerable to Vanessa anymore (and I think she can, in her own words, "get a little crazy sometimes") I think he may eventually find the silence in the space and bed they had shared together deafening. To be alone with your thoughts, esp if you feel you are the four-time Bach franchise failure, is not easy. But hopefully something positive can bloom even in the desert. Vanessa, on the other hand, has lots of people around her...her healing journey, albeit not fun, will be a very different one. Jmo

AllAboutLove wrote:Maybe I'm a loser or whatever but I like Nick and am still a fan!

Haha! Me too! I don't want him on any relationship based show going forward but other than that, I will still root for him in anything he does. I don't care too much about the 'He's pushing 40, should give up what he wants both professionally/personally and just settle, blah blah'. I am a firm believer that people need to figure out their own path however long it takes and IMO mistakes are a part of it. He'll figure out what works for him eventually. Do you, Nick!

All JMO

I have always felt the connections he had with Andi and Kaitlyn were much stronger than his connection with Vanessa. I had the feeling he choose her because he didn't want to end up alone, given all the opportunities he had gotten to find someone.
I think he needs to let go of his usual type, the bossy brown haired girl, and be more open to other kinds of women.

I seen a connection with Andi....Kaitlyn, not so much. I felt like Kaitlyn was just a rebound. JMO

Dutchy23 wrote:I have always felt the connections he had with Andi and Kaitlyn were much stronger than his connection with Vanessa. I had the feeling he choose her because he didn't want to end up alone, given all the opportunities he had gotten to find someone.
I think he needs to let go of his usual type, the bossy brown haired girl, and be more open to other kinds of women.

How is Vanessa bossy?

Is Jen single?