JoJo Fletcher-Rodgers & Jordan Rodgers - Bachelorette 12 - Discussion - #4

bluwavz wrote:@AllAboutLove Thank you for saying this. I have an abusive and toxic family and they will never be everything to me.

I am so sorry and truly empathize with how hard it is to try move on when societal norms makes it so blood needs to matter more than one's own well-being which is NOT and never should be the case. Knowing your worth and value and not staying part of that toxicity just because of biological ties is the healthiest attitude to have imo.  Your well-being and oftentimes your very survival (mentally, emotionally, etc) depends on moving on from that toxicity. 

From Jordan's tweet alone, it is clear to me that Jordan has a low opinion of Aaron. As such, he should not want to have someone he thinks so low of in his life anyway. He should see Aaron moving on as a gift instead of something he wants to control, shame or blame. From experience this is a tactic that toxic families use to try control, blame, and manipulate when someone has moved on or tried to move on. And it's clear to me that Jordan is doing this publicly because Aaron has moved on so the only way to try continue the toxicity is to bring it into the public arena and spread that toxicity.

The ones who are seeking to live a life free from toxicity and move on are the ones who don't go around shaming or blaming imo they literally just want to move on and live toxic-free! That's what I see with Aaron. It's why this isn't about who is "right" this is about mental and well-being imo and for his own sake Jordan should move on and get therapy and let Aaron live his life without trying to blame or shame him.

AllAboutLove wrote:

bluwavz wrote:@AllAboutLove Thank you for saying this. I have an abusive and toxic family and they will never be everything to me.

I am so sorry and truly empathize with how hard it is to try move on when societal norms makes it so blood needs to matter more than one's own well-being which is NOT and never should be the case. Knowing your worth and value and not staying part of that toxicity just because of biological ties is the healthiest attitude to have imo.  Your well-being and oftentimes your very survival (mentally, emotionally, etc) depends on moving on from that toxicity. 

From Jordan's tweet alone, it is clear to me that Jordan has a low opinion of Aaron. As such, he should not want to have someone he thinks so low of in his life anyway. He should see Aaron moving on as a gift instead of something he wants to control, shame or blame. From experience this is a tactic that toxic families use to try control, blame, and manipulate when someone has moved on or tried to move on. And it's clear to me that Jordan is doing this publicly because Aaron has moved on so the only way to try continue the toxicity is to bring it into the public arena and spread that toxicity.

The ones who are seeking to live a life free from toxicity and move on are the ones who don't go around shaming or blaming imo they literally just want to move on and live toxic-free! That's what I see with Aaron. It's why this isn't about who is "right" this is about mental and well-being imo and for his own sake Jordan should move on and get therapy and let Aaron live his life without trying to blame or shame him.

Amen. IMO: so agree. Sometimes it takes years or decades to get to that point. And sometimes you slip and slide on your way. The important thing is getting there.

Or maybe Jordan is just truly hurt by the separation and misses his brother, and this was one final desperate call for attention when he realised Aaron just doesn't give a crap anymore?

I don't know what the issue is, nor do I pretend to know, but I also don't think Aaron's silence proves that he's the poor victim and all his family is terrible and toxic. All it means is that he knows it does him no good to talk about it. I think his family is just genuinely heartbroken by the estrangement so they sometimes lash out because of it. Perhaps they should just move on, but it's easier said than done if there's a hole in your heart every day. JMO.

It's clear that Jordan wanted to shame his brother by his tweet, imo. That's not what someone that loves you and misses you does. Nor is going to twitter publicly to shame and blame something someone who really loves you does.

Jordan is the one here who is showing his true colors imo and that he is heartbroken and thus justified or an excuse to do so is imo a reflection of a toxic relationship/behavior.

AllAboutLove wrote:It's clear that Jordan wanted to shame his brother by his tweet, imo. That's not what someone that loves you and misses you does. Nor is going to twitter publicly to shame and blame something someone who really loves you does.

Jordan is the one here who is showing his true colors imo and that he is heartbroken and thus justified or an excuse to do so is imo a reflection of a toxic relationship/behavior.

We don't know what he's tried in private. He's avoided talking about the issue for years. For all we know he's tried reaching out multiple times and got stonewalled. Yes, his tweet wasn't exactly helpful, but I don't think it's proof of anything other than him being in frustrated and in pain. JMO.

mindless wrote:Or maybe Jordan is just truly hurt by the separation and misses his brother, and this was one final desperate call for attention when he realised Aaron just doesn't give a crap anymore?

I don't know what the issue is, nor do I pretend to know, but I also don't think Aaron's silence proves that he's the poor victim and all his family is terrible and toxic. All it means is that he knows it does him no good to talk about it. I think his family is just genuinely heartbroken by the estrangement so they sometimes lash out because of it. Perhaps they should just move on, but it's easier said than done if there's a hole in your heart every day. JMO.

Yes. To all of this.

My thoughts exactly. When Aaron broke his collar bone and had to have surgery, the only way his father could try to get a well wishes message to him was through the Packers IG account. How sad. I’m not a therapist so I won’t sit here and say that strangers I dont know should seek therapy especially in regards to a situation we know nothing about.

mindless wrote:

AllAboutLove wrote:It's clear that Jordan wanted to shame his brother by his tweet, imo. That's not what someone that loves you and misses you does. Nor is going to twitter publicly to shame and blame something someone who really loves you does.

Jordan is the one here who is showing his true colors imo and that he is heartbroken and thus justified or an excuse to do so is imo a reflection of a toxic relationship/behavior.

We don't know what he's tried in private. He's avoided talking about the issue for years. For all we know he's tried reaching out multiple times and got stonewalled. Yes, his tweet wasn't exactly helpful, but I don't think it's proof of anything other than him being in frustrated and in pain. JMO.

That is no excuse and imo if someone was trying to shame me publicly I sure as heck would be less inclined to want anything to do with them. 

It's been known since JoJo's season that Aaron has moved on and so at this point Jordan trying to shame his brother publicly is on him imo and reflects solely on Jordan. His brother has moved on and clearly doesn't want anything to do with them. 

Jordan needs to respect that and seek help instead of seeking attention from Twitter. His tweet was more than "not exactly helpful" imo it's toxic what he did and underlies severe dysfunction and if in pain or frustration he will not get healing by trying to inflict anything on his brother or shame him publicly. 

So far all I have ever read by Jordan has been passing blame or negativity on Aaron. Aaron has clearly moved on. It's been years. 

Time for Jordan to seek help off Twitter and begin the steps of moving on because what he is doing is not healthy for himself. jmo

I’m gonna shamelessly speculate about $hit I have no idea about whatsoever: I doubt his parents are abusive and toxic to the level Aaron is portraying by his actions. I think there are some serious ideological issues at play here that have caused the rift, more than any potential abuse of Aaron.

I mean their dad is out here posting guilt tripping comments on Danica’s Instagram pictures. Seems that public comments about things they shouldn’t are just the M.O. at this point.

JMO

mindless wrote:Or maybe Jordan is just truly hurt by the separation and misses his brother, and this was one final desperate call for attention when he realised Aaron just doesn't give a crap anymore?

I don't know what the issue is, nor do I pretend to know, but I also don't think Aaron's silence proves that he's the poor victim and all his family is terrible and toxic. All it means is that he knows it does him no good to talk about it. I think his family is just genuinely heartbroken by the estrangement so they sometimes lash out because of it. Perhaps they should just move on, but it's easier said than done if there's a hole in your heart every day. JMO.

I agree with this. Jordan was the last to cut ties with Aaron. Olivia essentially confirmed this recently. Aaron had cut out his brother Luke and his parents long before. So to me, the wound is probably most fresh for Jordan. Does it excuse his behavior? No! Could it be that in a moment of weakness he lashed out in the worst way possible? Totally. Really wished he had found another avenue - a non public one to deal with his frustration. But he is clearly hurt by his brother's apparent indifference to the potential near death experience his mother may have had. But if we're being honest we live in a society where the public puts celebrities on pedestal and there is a bit of celebrity worship. And because Aaron is a super bowl winning quarterback, society would tend to absolve him from wrong which for the commoner would be largely frowned upon. Even if Jordan's family is toxic and Aaron was in his right to sever all ties, were his grandparents toxic too? Was his best friend for whose wedding he was a groomsman and didn't show up ( this happened around the same time as the family feud) toxic too? Were his childhood friends toxic too? That's all very suspect to me. JMO.

Serious ideological issues can make for extremely toxic, dysfunctional and yes, even emotionally, mentally, and verbally abusive relationships and family dynamics.  

What Jordan did on twitter, if he can do that publicly suggests to me if he can act like that in public what more dysfunction and toxicity behind closed doors.

Bottom line is Aaron has moved on. Jordan trying to shame him won't make him regret his decision - imo it will affirm it.

umngirl wrote:I mean their dad is out here posting guilt tripping comments on Danica’s Instagram pictures. Seems that public comments about things they shouldn’t are just the M.O. at this point.

JMO

Aaron’s Dad posted on Aaron’s IG too. IMO they are trying to make this all about themselves instead of the money that Aaron is donating . They need to move on imo they are only hurting themselves more.