Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #8

I don't know but the silence is killing everyone . For sure rs is not saying anything yet bec he is waiting the media articles to come out typical rs .jmo .

I also think ben shouldn't just say a lot of promises to Lauren . I also hate that he proposed twice on tv and then while doing the HEA he cancelled their wedding . So stupid to me . Then his reason for cancelling the wedding is to get to know each other and wants to focus their rel and yet it looks not that much help their situation . Lauren keeps partying with her bachelor friends and other friends . Not that much being together . I am not against travelling but come on . That is not what an engaged couple is all about . I wonder who got fed up first ? Jmo .

^ I think most contestants go into these shows a little naive. Like Olivia for example. Ben and Lauren are well liked by producers I think. Both got great edits. This was a whole new show for TBP and BenLo...how are they supposed to know they're going to be screwed by editing? and IF the editing/producing of this show is why their relationship is failing...then I truly feel sorry them. They said they weren't going to do it if they didn't think they could handle it. Ben's intentions going into the show were pure IMO

^^ The road to hell is paved in good intentions.

sweeti810 wrote:

Sheokaf wrote:Let's not forget he put himself on the ballot to run for public office in Denver, then what, 3 weeks later pulled himself out. It shows his indecisiveness IMO, not well thought out and pretty embarrassing if you ask me. Then he does HEA. I'd say he put up some red flags, not the least of which was deciding to tell two women you loved them, repeatedly, on national television. Maybe Lauren dodged a bullet. Just saying - as a whole, the last year was pretty messy. IMO

According to this article, he couldn't do both. He could have ran and not done HEA. IMO, another example of him putting his relationship first. http://www.denverpost.com/2016/07/25/disney-abc-forces-ben-higgins-drop-colorado-house-race/

He had already signed the contract for HEA so he didn't have much choice without having some downfall. So he didn't put his relationship first , he never had a choice . The way he treated Lauren in HEA was not the example of putting a relatinship first .

In many interviews, Ben has admitted himself that it was wrong of him to say yes to so many projects soon after their public reveal in early days . Because of that they weren't able to focus more on the relationship as they were constantly on the go to different events and that didn't help them to grow their relationship . So he blames himself and I agree with him .

Imo Ben is big talk, but his actions don't match up his words, IMO. He was all 'I'd marry her tomorrow, if I could' after filming the Bach. When given that chance on aftr, he backed out. He signed to do HEA and a televised wedding, but then backed out. Imo he's still all talk, saying in interviews that they'll get married, but Imo he's just talk. Imo Lauren gets humiliated again and again by that. If he's not ready to get married, then stop talking about it. Imo he's like this in every thing he has to do some sacrifice or compromise. Saying big words, but in reality, it's his way, or no way. Jmo

Cocoasneeze wrote:Imo Ben is big talk, but his actions don't match up his words, IMO. He was all 'I'd marry her tomorrow, if I could' after filming the Bach. When given that chance on aftr, he backed out. He signed to do HEA and a televised wedding, but then backed out. Imo he's still all talk, saying in interviews that they'll get married, but Imo he's just talk. Imo Lauren gets humiliated again and again by that. If he's not ready to get married, then stop talking about it. Imo he's like this in every thing he has to do some sacrifice or compromise. Saying big words, but in reality, it's his way, or no way. Jmo

True ! Good thing you noticed that too.

My opinion is that we want to find someone to blame for the demise of their relationship. Either it was Ben's fault or it was Lauren's fault. I think that both of them have made their share of mistakes in the relationship, which has contributed to it breaking down.

I think they both had an idea of what kind of partner they were looking for, and what they would bring to the relationship. But I think their time together has revealed that there were more disconnects than things connecting them.

On the show, Lauren said she wanted the simple life, and she got the opportunity to have that by moving to Denver. But maybe what she thought she wanted out of life, and what she actually wanted out of life were two different things. Maybe she realized she would rather live the LA lifestyle.

I think Ben thought he wanted to marry a certain type of woman, and he thought Lauren was that person. But to me it looks like he actually would get along better with a different personality - a girl who is more down to earth, someone who gets his sense of humor, etc.

I'm sure there are numerous other examples that we could cite. The more I think about it, the more I have come to the conclusion that they've both contributed to the downfall of the relationship.

^ ummm they were never gonna do the ATFR wedding
I think they were on a high, feeling very confident in their relationship back then. Maybe he should've bit his tongue on that one...but hey, he was in love then. Real life hit them after

hannah.e. wrote:^ ummm they were never gonna do the ATFR wedding
I think they were on a high, feeling very confident in their relationship back then. Maybe he should've bit his tongue on that one...but hey, he was in love then. Real life hit them after

You seem to state these as facts. Do you have something to back it up, some reference where they said all this?

didn't Ben's pastor say he would come down to LA for it as long as he knew there wouldn't be a legit wedding? If not, then no....IMO TBP just wanted to make it "the most dramatic AFTR special in Bachelor history"
when BenLo was asked later about it in interviews they said they wanted to do their wedding in front of their family and friends..IMO a no brainer

Perhaps Ben then needs to pick his words more carefully, and check his actions, because people will believe and hold him accountable. Imo it boils down to Ben needing to be adored and loved by all. His grand gestures bring the public adoration, the awwwws of strangers, but when he backs down and goes back on what he said, he breaks the heart of those people these actions and words mean the most. Jmo

Cocoasneeze wrote:Perhaps Ben then needs to pick his words more carefully, and check his actions, because people will believe and hold him accountable. Imo it boils down to Ben needing to be adored and loved by all. His grand gestures bring the public adoration, the awwwws of strangers, but when he backs down and goes back on what he said, he breaks the heart of those people these actions and words mean the most. Jmo

Well said! This is what bothers me about Ben.