Vanessa Grimaldi - Bachelor 21 - *Sleuthing Spoilers* #4

Lara wrote:

MVMom39forever wrote:Just listened to Afterbuzz podcast and they all say picking Vanessa, bUT won't last. Danny Hoyt who is friend of Nick went on to predict that Nick will find love in next year with someone else but none of the final 4. Also predicted that we would see all 4 finalists on TV again, leading me to believe he meant a stint on bip for Vanessa, Ravens and Corinne.

Who knows but I have always thought that Afterbuzz is mouthpiece for the show. I would not at all be surprised if this is true. They sure are showing lots of angst with Nick and Vanessa

I agree with Danny, I do think nick will settle down relatively soon, but I just don't think it's going to be with Vanessa. I don't know if they have any inside scoop or are just basing it on gut, but I personally haven't felt Nick look head over heels since their first date. I do feel like he's pressuring/convincing himself to fall for her, b/c she's his dream girl and he wants to give the show this full circle, perfect ending.  It kind of reminds me of Jason/Melissa. I also think they're too similar, as they're both arrogant and selfish and stubborn, IMO. I also think that might be a reason why TPTB haven't shown much with Nick/Vanessa, except their 1-on-1s and that convo about Corinne. That's pretty rare for the F1, since I've been watching, except for Chris in Des's season. Possessionista, who is good friends with Nick, has also said she doesn't feel he's that into any of the girls, so it is interesting this sentiment is coming from people who know him and are rooting for him. All, IMO.

I don't know if I see Vanessa on BIP, but I would be shocked if she's done with TV after this. Especially since Nick is going to want publicity for his business, I'm thinking they'll be doing something or another on TV. IMO.

I think having the same signs don't magnify to a failed relationship...as a fact, I think Libra-Libra works out differently because they do balance each others out... both of them are also cusp Virgo-Libra...thus, definitely, they would have a little bit of each sides in terms of personalities...

Both have been raised with different family, environmental backgrounds...thus, the end results on their personalities would vary differently...I find Nick to have stronger personalities than Vanessa...she definitely is more tamed between the two...she may be more emotional which is a plus being a female...her edginess, comes up to nothing with her tactfulness and great communication skills...I don't really find them 100% identical...if ever I think Vanessa is a finesse version of Nick...with that being said, I believe Vanessa is a great influence for Nick to change to a better person...the best person he can be...

For a person to be totally honest is actually a great trait to have, but both are very articulate regardless...thus, this sorts of tone down their degree of bluntness...I see Vanessa more patient, passionate, compassionate and down-to-earth than Nick...she's also more sensitive...I am not sure about being ultra sensitive...but, being rational helps level herself more in controlling the situations without creating much drama to the whole thing...

I feel a lot of passions from Nick on Andi and Kaitlyn... but, I think a lot of them are very physical (lust maybe) since both of these women are very sexually expressive...

When Nick has spoken about a different type of relationship...I think he is talking about above physical which is spiritual...that is the type of relationship he is looking for with Vanessa, not too earthly, but also spiritual (soul mates)...in the aftermath of his experiences with Andi and Kaitlyn, I think Nick has grown more guarded than usual... but, he cannot resist the sparks he is feeling for Vanessa.... as he has said it personally he can feel the magic flowing.... and, how do you keep the magic ongoing?... then their compatibilities, personalities, and on how far they can go in terms of compromise come into play...I think they definitely are perfect match...

These people from Afterbuzz are not seeing that part because they are used to Nick's roughness and being too transparent...I believe, the way Nick is treating Vanessa is way different from the way he treats the other girls (he is very protective of her, and he finds her very precious)...I don't think they understand that Nick can be soft to them at times...thus, he can handle Vanessa without any doubt... if communication is his best way to reach out to Vanessa in this environment, he is doing the right thing by doing this more so with her...

Lara wrote:Maybe selfish was the wrong word...Self-absorbed is the more accurate term. And, there have been countless examples of that, IMO, for both of them.  

Also, being a special education teacher doesn't mean you can't be selfish. I know lots of people who have very admirable jobs and are still sh*tty people. It's just one aspect of who you are.

Even ali said she doesn't see either of them moving in her blog, so this seems to be a pretty common sentiment even among those who know him, IMO.

I disagree, Sharleen didn't say that she doesn't see either of them moving, she said why is it expected for Vanessa to move? It will be harder and a tough decision and she left that up to them to decide. She joined the sentiment that moving may seem insurmountable issue, but she also said that Nick has found his dream woman - that is not lost on him. Sharleen didn't purport to know what this couple will do to resolve this issue.

Ali, and others who are blogging the show, describe what we are shown and give their reaction to it, which right now is setting up doubt that Nick will end up engaged.

Catdwoman50 wrote:

Lara wrote:Maybe selfish was the wrong word...Self-absorbed is the more accurate term. And, there have been countless examples of that, IMO, for both of them.  

Also, being a special education teacher doesn't mean you can't be selfish. I know lots of people who have very admirable jobs and are still sh*tty people. It's just one aspect of who you are.

Even ali said she doesn't see either of them moving in her blog, so this seems to be a pretty common sentiment even among those who know him, IMO.

I disagree, Sharleen didn't say that she doesn't see either of them moving, she said why is it expected for Vanessa to move?  It will be harder and a tough decision and she left that up to them to decide.  She joined the sentiment that moving may seem insurmountable issue, but she also said that Nick has found his dream woman - that is not lost on him.  Sharleen didn't purport to know what this couple will do to resolve this issue.

Maybe you misread my post? Never mentioned Sharleen.

Lara wrote:

Catdwoman50 wrote:

Lara wrote:Maybe selfish was the wrong word...Self-absorbed is the more accurate term. And, there have been countless examples of that, IMO, for both of them.  

Also, being a special education teacher doesn't mean you can't be selfish. I know lots of people who have very admirable jobs and are still sh*tty people. It's just one aspect of who you are.

Even ali said she doesn't see either of them moving in her blog, so this seems to be a pretty common sentiment even among those who know him, IMO.

I disagree, Sharleen didn't say that she doesn't see either of them moving, she said why is it expected for Vanessa to move?  It will be harder and a tough decision and she left that up to them to decide.  She joined the sentiment that moving may seem insurmountable issue, but she also said that Nick has found his dream woman - that is not lost on him.  Sharleen didn't purport to know what this couple will do to resolve this issue.

Maybe you misread my post? Never mentioned Sharleen.

Sorry my bad, you meant Ali, not all.

No problem!

Sprite wrote:

AllAboutLove wrote:IMO, if moving was such a deal breaker for Vanessa she should never have accepted a proposal, what with her being "real" and all. So to me, that's more on her, especially if they discussed this in FD and prior to the finale and if she didn't then that's on her too, IMO since it was brought up at HTDs.

And if she was unwilling to move, why go on the Bachelor in the first place? Admittedly, her odds of being F1 are low and she could have gone on for the adventure and the travel, but she said she wanted it to be Nick and she was aware it was him when she signed.

Exactly. She explicitly said she went on for him and told him that. I really don't get why Nick has to move for her. This idea that he has an online business so he should move and that he should be doing the most in the relationship makes no sense to me. Why is it always on Nick what he needs to do? This guy has been put through the ringer and now is trying to start up his business and be a bread winner as he has said and just because it may be an online business (it could be in stores as well) it is not this easy thing to do from another country. There are laws that could prohibit him from doing so as well as greater expenses just speaking from my own experience having lived in other countries and familiar with businesses and laws. 

I like Vanessa but if her reasoning for things not working is logistics and because she doesn't want to move after knowing all this on the show then I am sorry but she loses my respect. I have zero interest in someone wasting anyone's time, including Nick's. If anyone doesn't need to have his time wasted it is Nick, IMO, and one thing I know from watching Nick is he won't promise anything he won't deliver on. He even said in the episode to her sister that he cannot promise that he will move to Montreal. There's nothing misleading there at all so I fully expect they talked about this and I have no doubt Nick would never promise something he wouldn't deliver on. If he is anything, he is straight up and honest especially about these things, IMO.

Honestly, I truly feel tired of so many SM comments I have seen about Vanessa being too good or that Nick should be the one to move for her and all this jazz and if he doesn't then he is not sincere and just a heartbreaker and player. All I can think is "Are you kidding me?!". Nick has never broken anyone's heart from this show (he did not break Jen's heart based on her own words) and yet has had his own broken 2x and received tons of hate as if he was the one who broke their hearts. I totally feel Nick deserves a woman who will be there for him through thick and thin and not always expect him to be making the compromises. As Sharleen said on her IG post when the season started, she hopes Nick finds a woman worthy of Nick. I hope Vanessa is that person and Nick that person for Vanessa too.

JMO

I'm going to stop. We were doing this too with Catherine and Sean about their longevity and all the seemingly incompatible issues and moving as if we had a magic crystal ball.

bleuberry wrote:I'm glad Sharleen mentioned the moving issue, I think she said Vanessa's life feels less mobile than the typical f1. She'd have to completely change careers if she moved. I have to agree that I can't imagine either one of them moving.

I think Vanessa has mentioned about wanting to move... but, it depends on whether it is worth moving...I guess, this comes to how much Nick loves her...for her to feel that it is worth moving...

Catdwoman50 wrote:I'm going to stop.  We were doing this too with Catherine and Sean about their longevity and all the seemingly incompatible issues and moving as if we had a magic crystal ball.

I was actually thinking about them in terms of blending such opposite lives and doing a big move. I think they're an exception though. Vanessa can't just move and get another teaching job in the States. And IMO there's no way Nick is moving to Canada.

Catdwoman50 wrote:I'm going to stop.  (snipped) ... as if we had a magic crystal ball.

I'm done myself, stepping off my as my favorite song goes: "And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking, racing around to come up behind you again, the sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older ... ... To hear the softly spoken magic spell"

Cila51290 wrote:I'm baffled that there are so many doubters on 4th time 36 year old Nick's take on his journey to find love. If Nick wants it to work it will work I have no doubt about it. Nick has been pretty gushy in SM when it comes to Vanessa and vice versa Vanessa with Nick. I have no doubts imo that they are making this relationship work. That is all.JMO

With this show and it's track record, it's easier to be a cynic than a believer. I'm not surprised there are doubters, but the same concerns about long distance can be said about every other couple that's made it out of the show (except Josh and Andi, and we've seen how well that turned out). IA with you, about not having doubts as I choose to be a believer as well

I get the impression from both of them that if they want it to work, they'll put in all the effort to make it work. Vanessa's family, for example, was super concerned about how her last breakup did a number on her; they seemed to imply that she sacrificed a lot of herself and her happiness. We also know Nick has a history of long-term relationships, so it's not like he's always been a serial dater. Based on this information, I think they're both capable of investing themselves into a relationship if they believe in it and believe in its long-term potential. I actually think they can both invest too much of themselves (to an unhealthy degree), and that's why their parents have worried about their wellbeing in the past. If they can make a mutual decision about where they'll live and commit to each other as partners, which I think is certainly plausible given what we've seen, then I think they could have a healthy and happy relationship.

I can believe they're both stubborn in some aspects... but stubborn about moving for someone they love? I don't buy that. I get the impression that they (as two passionate over-analyzers) would think about it, weigh all their options, but eventually just say "f**k it!" and move wherever to be together.